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Life => Love and Relationships => Romantic Relationships => Topic started by: ics on May 18, 2011, 04:37:35 pm

Title: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ics on May 18, 2011, 04:37:35 pm
Nauubusan na kasi ako ng dahilan pag tinatanong ako ng mga tao. kesyo di ka ba niya mahal? single parent ka ba? etc..

well for me, marriage is once in a lifetime. kaya gusto ko memorable talaga. budget talaga ang problema.

kayo mga sis? what's your reason?

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Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: sweetmj on May 18, 2011, 04:50:13 pm
hi mommy..

kami din ni hubby, di pa kami married. and we're both experiencing yung tipong wala ka ng masagot and minsan iba yung reaksyon ng nagtanong sau pag sinagot mong wala pang budget. but seriously, wala pa din kaming budget. gusto ko nga din kumita ng extra money in preparation sa schooling ni baby next year. how long na ba kaung magkasama sis?
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: yhamslove® on May 18, 2011, 04:50:58 pm
naku sis, pagpasensyahan mo nalang yung mga nagtatanong sa iyo kung bakit di ka pa kasal at super excited lang yung mga yun na makita kang naka-traje de boda (gusto ata invite mo sila sa big day mo!  :D )

alam mo sis, kahit hindi ka magsalita, dapat alam na nila yung sagot diyan. sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, kahit ako, hindi ko pwedeng unahin nalang yung para sa kasal lalo na may anak. kapag naka luwag-luwag nalang muna.

tama ka eh, marriage should be memorable. kaya dapat talaga paghandaan if and when you have enough resources. kami nga ng asawa ko 4 years kami nag ipon to finance our wedding day. awa ng Diyos naging okay naman... nakaraos.

don't worry sis, dadating din yang time na yan. at least, sa mata ng Diyos, kasal na kayo di ba? and at least hindi kayo nagkakaproblema.

aanhin mo ang kasal kung ang makakasama mo naman eh yung gagawing miserable ang buhay mo di ba? sayang ang datung!  :D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Trapidee on May 18, 2011, 04:58:19 pm
Napupunta sa mga kiddos ang pera para sa pangangailangan nila kaya wala pa muna sa budget ang pagpapakasal...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ics on May 18, 2011, 04:59:22 pm
@sis sweetmj almost 2 years pa lang naman kaming live in. tama ka, si baby muna dapat priority. saka nagiinvest pa kami ng sariling bahay.

@sis yhamslove - hinahabaan ko na nga lang ang pasensya, minsan nga napagtripan ko lang ichange ang status ko sa fb from in a relationship to single. May nagcomment ng ganito: matagal ka ng single diba? ngayon mo lang napansin? O diba nakakaasar. haha. bat pa kasi ko nagchange status ako lang din pala maasar. haha.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mamacharis on May 18, 2011, 05:07:11 pm
hindrance samin yung name ko. hindi lang typographical error ang problema ng birth certificate as in change of name talaga >:(  kelangan ko ng lawyer at hindi ko pa naasikaso plus malamang acceptance fee pa lang ng lawyer yari na ko :(

OT
bakit kaya ganun? sinunod ko birth certificate ko na hindi nso kaya un gamit ko eversince pero nung lumabas nso ko daming mali. hay.. magkaka problema naman pag sinunod ko yung nso ko.

UPDATE april 25,2012

mga sis nagpasakal na ko last month. hihi no choice na eh.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: nixmusic on May 19, 2011, 11:35:53 am
Honestly, there are a lot of reasons why we're not married yet.
1. Getting married is expensive. Pag nag civil wedding ka naman, yung ibang mga kamag anak nyo e todo taas kilay na kesyo, tinipid ka ng napang-asawa mo, etc. To be straightforward about it, for me, it's not practical to spend a huge amount of money for one-day event. It's kinda overrated. Gown pa lang nanghihinayang na ko. Gamitin ko na lang yung money sa needs ni baby [lalo na sa vaccine na uber expensive].
2. We talked about it but we're both satisfied of what we have right now. Ang importante, we respect, trust and love each other.
3. Wala pang divorce sa Pilipinas at mahal ang annulment. We'll never know what will happen. :-\

When one of our friends got married in Boracay last year, I was surprised that he told me these words: "Sorry, I can't give you such a grand wedding." I responded, "As long as we love each other, I don't need such a grand wedding." ;)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommyness on May 19, 2011, 12:31:25 pm
join ako dyan!!

kami sis ako gusto talaga maikasal kahit civil lang muna and jakit nga secret lang eh, kasi gusto ko maging legitimate ang son ko, pero si hubby ayaw, kasi gusto niya yung memorable daw,yung pinaghirapan naming dalwa.
naiintindihan ko sya,pero nasasad ako pag nakakaencounter ako ng mga friends and relatives na kinasal na..
budget din ang main reason..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ics on May 19, 2011, 01:26:35 pm
True. nakakalungkot pag yung mga friends mo kasal na though wala pang anak tapos ako may anak na pero di pa kasal. nakakainggit lang minsan. pero naiisip ko na lang na baka naiinggit din sila samin dahil may baby na kami.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: purplemgs on May 19, 2011, 02:52:56 pm
My partner and I are waiting for our daughter to be old enough to be our flower girl. We want her to be able to remember being a part of her parents big day :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chester on May 19, 2011, 03:19:38 pm
@mommyness:  madaming reasons why couples dont want to marry yet.  pero for me and my hubby, ngcivil wedding lang kami.  secret marriage pa sa amin.  nagcivil wedding kami because magkakababy na kami (im on my 30th weeks na).  ayaw niya din kasing lumaki baby namin na rin hindi buo pamilya.  saka sabi ko rin sa kanya na kung hindi kami kasal ay family name ko gagamitin sa baby.  gusto ko na ang baby namin ay ang legal son niya. jejeje... sabi niya before kami magcivil wedding eh ng-eenjoy pa daw siya sa pagiging bachelor niya. jejeje..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: raiza0022 on May 19, 2011, 03:54:09 pm
same here!!! budget dn problem...
nung preggy ako ang plano after ko manganak ska mgpapakasal... e super dami as in super daming gastos pag may baby na. kaya ayun naging less priority ang marriage. talagang no. 1 problem yung budget in all aspects na ata sa mundo na to!! haaay...
anyway,  wag mo intindihin mga nagtatanong sa inyo siguro naman maiintindihan nila kung kulang sa budget kc mahirap naman talaga buhay nowadays. basta importante alam nyo sa sarili nyo na nagmamahalan kayong dalawa... yun ang pinaka importante sa lahat.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Adaline on May 20, 2011, 10:36:01 pm
hello, pasali..
kami, main reason namin yung petition ng mama niya sa states.. sa tingin ko medyo matatagalan pa pero hindi na lang namin iniisip.. though sabi naman ng mama niya give the petition at least two years kung hindi talaga umaandar yung papers bahala na daw kami kung gusto namin na magpakasal na..
and then yung budget, simpleng kasal aabot din siguro ng 150k.. since wala pang 1 yr old baby namin, sobrang laki ng gastos at alam ko lalaki pa lalo pag nag aral na..

naiinis din ako sa mga nagtatanong kung baket hindi kami kasal..
feeling ko parang hinuhusgahan ka agad..
minsan gusto ko na lang sabihin " e hindi ako inalok eh " or "penge visa at pera papakasal ako" 
pero as long as you know what you're doing at wala naman natatapakan na iba, e go lang
wag ipilit kung hindi pa panahon..

:) un lang hehe
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ♥_caramel_♥ on May 20, 2011, 10:51:08 pm
pasali din po ,. akala ko ako lang ang may ganitong sitwasyon hehe  ;D ,. samen din po mainly eh budget ang prob lalo na ngayon 2 kids na so sa mga bata po muna , saka na lang kame, it can wait naman at minsan naiisip ko we'll never know what will happen in the future baka magkahiwalay din kame (not that pinananalangin ko) pero just a thought sayang di lang yung pera eh but the effort , tsaka naisip ko din po mga tao naman talga mahilig mamuna , pag di kayo nagpakasal pag bubulungan kayo uusisain, pag nagpakasal kayo at naghiwalay ganun lang din naman ,. so bahala sila hehe basta tayo masasaya tayo at love naten mga partners at mga anak naten,. kasal can wait, yun nga lang minsan maiisip naten (or ako lang) na 'baket di ako pakasalan' at malulungkot tayo dahil dream ng every woman ang makasal kaso baket naten ipipilit kung di pa napapanahon at di pa binibigay ni God ,. mas panget ang hinog sa pilit  ;D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: miekee_18 on May 21, 2011, 05:10:05 am
Pa-join...
Samin din Budget din talaga..Good thing wala naman masyadong tanung ng tanung kung bakit di pa kami kasal..Although ang alam ko pinaiipunan ng mga IL ko ang wedding namin kasi may pamahiin ata yung FIL ko na hindi pwede magpakasal yung mga younger sis & bro ng hubby ko hanggat di kasal yung panganay eh alangan hintayin nila kami magkabudget eh mukhang malabo twins kasi agad yung blessing samin n Lord eh kaya kapos kapos talaga sa budget
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommy honamie on May 22, 2011, 04:59:36 pm
haha ako din JOIN din ;)...
1yr. old na si baby ngayong june and yet d pa rin kame married.. dame pa kasing mga issue na kelangang i settle like financial and religion namen ni hubby hayy hirap nga ng ganitong situation..
lalo na when there are family get together lagi tinatanong kasal na ba kayo?
hayy hirap sumagot ako na ooffend ako eh not sure why alam ko naman I should not get offended.. :( :( :(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on May 22, 2011, 05:12:10 pm
     ako, sinasagot ko nalang na wala pang-budget. nag-iipon pa. 1 year na baby namin, di pa rin kami kasal. pero more than that, complicated talaga situation namin.
     7 years na kami mag-bf/gf, then ito na nga nagka-baby. hindi pa kasal. to top it off, we are also not living together. pero kami pa rin. magkapitbahay lang kami, few walks away ang bahay namin. open siya dito sa bahay and same naman ako sa kanila. hindi ako natutulog sa kanila and vice versa.
     minsan dinadala o iniiwan namin si baby sa kanila. wala namang prob. sinusupportahan naman niya kaming mag-ina.
     sa totoo lang, ang hirap! nahihirapan na ako lalo pat lumalaki na baby namin. di naman kasi always na nakakapunta siya dito sa bahay kasi nga naghahanap rin siya ng pera pantustos. pero kinakaya ko nalang.
     mas sobrang hirap tuwing nagkaka-conflict kami (kagaya ngayon). di ko alam kung paano aayusin, kung anong gagawin. kinakaya ko nalang.  :( iniiyak ko para mawala yung bigat sa dibdib ko.  :'(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ♥_caramel_♥ on May 23, 2011, 02:44:27 pm
momskie jane *hug tight* naku wag ka na po sad ,. medyo magkapareho po tayo ng lagay pero kaibahan lang po eh natutulog sya samen at minsan kame sa bahay nila ,. pag may conflict po kame di muna sya naputna samen ng ilang oras max. na yung 3 hours pero nag-uusap kame at suportado naman mga bata po ,. tsaka iniisip din po namen kasi pag lage kame mag-aaway wala mangyayare sa relasyon namen , wag ka  na po sad part talaga yun mga trials na yan just stay strong for you and baby ,. never give up kung alam mo naman na worth it si hubby at relasyon nyo kahit mdalas may conflicts
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommy honamie on May 23, 2011, 07:16:39 pm
momskie jane and sis caramel same tayo ng mga situation.. ang iba lang maxado sya malayo samin he's on batangas and kame ni baby dito sa manila nakatira every week end lang sya dumadating dito samin, pwede rin syang matulog samin and ako sa kanila he stays here samin for two days then back to batangas pag monday na he never miss naman to support our baby and continous ang communication namen everyday.. hirap nga eh pero ok kami happy kami kahit were far apart we always miss each other and excited kame magkita palage so the spark is always there ( i think thats the advantage) ;).. hirap lang nga sometimes pag may missunderstanding kaya iniiwasan ko rin yun mangyari cheer up momskie jane!! ;) magging ok din yan sis..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: calleighkisses on May 24, 2011, 12:55:37 am
kasi mahal mag pa annul? :D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: princess080910 on May 24, 2011, 01:24:44 am
we are waiting for our daughter to be able to walk down the aisle wth us. we simply want her to stand along with us on  our 2013th wedding..... promise in hubby saakin yun, haha
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: sushilover123 on May 24, 2011, 07:47:20 am
Im glad na may topic na ganito. Last week ito kasi ang pinagusapan namin ng bf ko. Im 9months pregnant and mag 3 years na kami. Ok, so nauna yung baby namin kaya first priority muna si baby.. Hinihintay muna namin na masettle ang lahat. Of course gusto ko din ikasal at ayoko naman yung kasal ko e parang masabi lang na naikasal lang. Kaya gusto ko din siya pagipunan. Last week, after ng checkup ko.. Pinagawayan namin yung surname na ibibigay kay baby. Sabi ko temporary lang yung surname niya kasi di pa kami kasal.

Sa totoo lang gusto ko isunod sa surname ko si baby kaso alam ko magaaway kami. Hindi naman nga siya nagkukulang samin ni baby. Lahat ng gamit ni baby halos siya gumastos. Wala rin siya absent sa checkups ko.  Naghihirap daw siya sa work tapos ipapangalan daw sakin si baby. Tapos humirit ako na "bakit ikaw, nagalok kba ng kasal? " tapos ayun nagalit na.. Naghahanap daw ako ng pagaawayan. Akala daw ba niya uunahin namin si baby. Wag naman daw sunod sunod. Ewan ko ba.. May point naman siya pero nakakatampo lang na kahit plano parang wala naman kami napaguusapan. Basta, hindi kami magpapacivil at uunahin muna si baby. Yun daw ang plano.

Iniisip ko lang na mamaya hindi kami magkatuluyan, e surname niya nakapangalan sa anak ko. Hirap kaya pachange ng surname. Haay.. Siguro titignan pa namin kung magkakasundo talaga kami lalo na kapag nanjan na si baby. Ayoko din naman magsisi sa huli.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on May 24, 2011, 11:36:01 am
sis caramel and mommy honamie: mahirap po talaga situation namin, lam ko both kami ng hubby ko nahihirapan pero talagang choice namin to. kaya ako, nilalakasan ko nalang loob ko. kakayanin ko cause I know "this too shall pass" soon.

thanx po sa concern. it made me feel good.  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ♥_caramel_♥ on May 24, 2011, 01:54:40 pm
mommy honamie i likey hehe tama minsan distance helps in keeping the spark., ^^

momskie jane yes tama kaya mo yan ,.ako simula ng maencounter ko yung verse sa bible na 1 Corinthians 13:4-7  ' 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' ,. ayan lage ko nirerecite yan pag yun may moments na gusto ko magalet or magtampo sa kanya , inaalala ko yan at thank God nagiging peaceful ang heart ko ,. i know it's hard sis but yes move forward and panindigan  mo ang choice mo  ;)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chester on May 24, 2011, 02:51:34 pm
@sushilover123:  napag-usapan din namin ng hubby ko yan.  im pregnant before our civil marriage.  Kasi mahihirapan ako sa mga ibat ibang documents kung hindi kami kasal at sa kanya ipapasurname.  at sabi ko sa kanya eh gusto ko legal child baby namin. jejeje...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mamacharis on May 24, 2011, 02:56:46 pm
hay gusto ko na magpakasal kaso laki ng gagastusin sa pa change of name ko sa Nso. nagbigay na ng qoute si sis magilas hay.. nakakalula sa pangarap na lang ata ako makakapagpakasal. hehe! sana may iba pang paraan.  ;)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on May 24, 2011, 03:21:14 pm
tama sis caramel... =)

bookmarked rin yan sa bible ko. =)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ea_brea on May 24, 2011, 04:06:00 pm
akala ko ako lang may ganitong situation, madami din pala. :) we're not yet married ng BF ko (pero husband na tawag ko sa kanya dahil sya naman talaga), and hindi din kami live-in. 6yo na anak namin. pero ayun ipon-ipon din muna. may agreement din kasi tatay ko and BF ko na kelangan stable na siya pag ikakasal na kami. feeling ng tatay ko maluho ako, hindi naman talaga, ewan ko dun.

nakakainis lang nga yung ibang taong nagtatanong, nakakatamad na sumagot! gusto ko na lang sabihin 'secret'. haha sa panahon ngayon ay hindi na bago ang ganitong sitwasyon, kaya wag na sila magtanong.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: calleighkisses on May 25, 2011, 01:23:08 am
@mommy sushilover, same tayo. and im also 9mos preggy and will give birth anytime. gusto ko din sana ipangalan muna sakin c baby since hindi pa naman kami kasal. tyka medyo on the rock kasi ang relationship namin ngaun. kaso like your bf, ayaw niya din. parang tinanggalan ko naman daw sya ng karapatan nun. nabasa ko kasi somewhere na mahal magpapalit ng last name if ever hindi magwork un samin. more or less 20k daw. eh if ever na hindi magwork un samin xempre sakin si baby at gusto ko last name ko gamit niya. mas okay sana yung sakin muna last name tas pag kinasal kami ipapalipat nalng sa last name niya. mas madali kasi yung ganong procedure. kaso ayaw niya nga eh. bahala na pag nanganak ako. hehe.. :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: CIB on May 25, 2011, 03:11:10 pm
Parang ako lang yung may ibang klaseng dahilan  :'(
Reason: Dahil takot ako. Yun lang.

I don’t know kung saan nanggagaling yung takot pero kung phobia yung sa akin, hindi pa ako nagkakalakas ng loob na i-research pa talaga sa ngayon. Lahat ng tao na nakakakilala sa amin ang alam kinasal na kami abroad. At nung time na nasa abroad kami lahat ng tao alam kasal kami sa pinas so never talaga naging issue to sa akin. Though sa kanya issue to ng malaki dahil tumira kami sa muslim country. He was always too paranoid for me kahit na meron kaming pekeng marriage certificate doon. In all fairness to hubby and his relatives nasa akin lang talaga lahat ng sisi. Wala silang nagging pagkukulang sa akin.

He proposed to me bago ako umalis ng pinas noon and asked me to marry him kahit sa huwes kung ayaw ko sa simbahan. He bought us wedding bands  but I don’t know, hindi ko sya pinakasalan. Iniisip ko rin baka magkaroon pa kami ng kanya-kanyang buhay. I didn’t know he got depression over this hanggang sa nakasunod sya sa akin abroad after 7 mos. And the first thing he bought sa unang sweldo niya is my engagement ring. Nakwento ko na dito how he proposed to me. Without my knowledge inaayos na pala ng mil ko yung mga papers na kailangan dito sa pinas. Dahil yun yung bilin nila kay hubby “Wag mong pabayaan si Colet doon, Wag mong hayaang mapahamak.” Saka in a way parang that’s the only thing they asked him kasi gumawa talaga sila ng paraan para makasunod sya sa akin. Sa awa na sa kanya dahil depress sya everyday. We got na a pair of godparents. Binilhan niya na ako ng dress. My sil said sagot niya na gastos. Based sa abu dhabi sil ko while we are in Dubai with my brothers family. 3 weeks pagkatapos niya mag proposed dumating yung papers sa sil ko. Then on the bus on the way to abu dhabi he presented me the wedding rings.  Then for a crazy reason I dont know, I cried. I just cried and cried na pinagtitinginan na kami sa bus. Masama na lahat ng tingin ng mga patan at injano kay hubby. The fear inside was choking me talaga hindi ko rin maipaliwanag. Yun. I spent the whole day with my sil he refuses talking to me dahil sabi ko sa bus “Parang hindi ko kaya. Hindi pa ako handa.” My sil keep mum hanggang pauwi na kami nasabi ko na lang “Sorry Ate.” I felt like a horse kicked me when my sil said only this “Ikaw lang naman yung inaalala namin eh. Yung kapakanan mo.” Dahil yun nga nasa stranged country kami. Muslim country pa. Iba yung culture sa atin.

He refused talking to me for a week. Mula don sa byahe naming pauwi hindi niya talaga ako kinakausap. I love him I know it in my heart wala na akong ibang mamahalin and my reason to him is It’s just a piece of paper. Asawa ko sya. I never question myself dahil the day I promised him that talagang I take it in my heart. That’s a vow I made upon myself, to him, to God. He was depressed for a week din calling me everynight  while crying “it’s just a piece of paper bakit hindi mo magawa?” Pero yun nga hindi ko alam kung bakit. Even my brother make me understand ganon lang talaga. Normal yung kabahan. Pero In all fairness, all of them respect my decision. Walang namilit. Walang nanumbat. Wala talagang nagalit sa akin kahit yung mga nasa pinas. Nalungkot lang talaga lahat lalo na yung mil ko. Akala ko talaga tapos na kami nun, pero yun after a week kinausap na rin ako ni hubby. Tapos ora-orada nagpagawa sa recto ng pekeng marriage certificate for my sake hehe.

To this day. May baby na kami. Naiisip ko na rin yung legalities. Naiisip ko na rin not for me but for my daughter’s sake. Im overcoming my fear by browsing  weddings, bookmarking mga clips. Saving anything related sa weddings pero kahit nakikita na ni hubby hindi sya kumikibo. Sometimes nakikita ko sya napapangiti pag nakikita niya yun pero I guess he doesn’t wanna push his luck. 2 beses ko na syang pinaasa. Though Im open na to him, halimbawa my wedding cake ako nakita I tell him na “Gusto mo ganitong wedding cake din.” He would just smile. Saka my mom talks about it. Kristiyano kami alam ko naman yun kaya nga Im praying also for that. Kasi ako lang yung hindi kasal sa aming 5 magkakapatid. Dadating din yung time, kasi nag promised ako kay hubby noon. Ako yung magyayaya. Ako yung magpro-propose sa kanya pag kaya ko na. Gusto ko dumating din yung araw na yun. Kasi alam ko umaasa talaga sya sa doon. Naging insecurity niya of some sorts. Kasi sometimes if he’s vulnerable nasasabi niya yun sa akin, naisusumbat niya pag nagagalit sya talaga. Baligtad nga kami kasi parang sya yung babae. Sya yung natatakot iwanan kasi wala naman syang ipang hahabol talaga sa akin.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chester on May 25, 2011, 03:39:50 pm
@CIB: i dont understand your fear.  pero hope you overcome your fear.....
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: CIB on May 25, 2011, 04:27:27 pm
@chester : Me also. Hindi ako makahinga everytime pagtapos pag-usapan. Tapos parang made-depress na ako na parang gusto kong tumakbo somewhere na makakawala ako from that something. All I know is there a fear inside me na hindi ko alam kung bakit. Nag-uumpisa yung kaba hanggang parang lalaki ng lalaki na talagang parang nababalot yung puso ko, yung pagkatao ko. And weird din hindi ko alam kung bakit. Na parang may gagawin si hubby na masama sa akin pag pinakasalan ko sya pero Dyusko naman! Ilang beses ng napatunayan nung tao sa akin na mahal niya ako. Gustong gusto kong gawin pero nanlalambot ako pagtapos kong isipin. Parang bungee jumping yung feeling ko. Natatakot akong tumalon kahit andun na lahat.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on May 26, 2011, 03:48:05 pm
@ CIB: on my POV sis, if I'm not mistaken takot ka sa commitment itself or maybe it's fear of the unknown. Maybe you are not aware of it kasi dini-deny mo sa self mo. Maraming possible reasons bakit ganyan ang reaction mo. Hindi yan ganyan kung walang pinagmulan. Try to ask yourself, dig deep. You might stumble sa isang experience sa life mo na nag-trigger sa fear mo na yan.

Also, siguro wag mo masyadong patagalin sa paghihintay si hubby mo. Baka mapagod sa kahihintay.  ;) Baka kung kelan ready ka na siya naman ang ayaw na. Kung love mo naman si hubby then there's no reason para matakot. Sa marriage kasi, kapag may problema kayong dalawa ang haharap at magtutulungan.

I've also experienced that, sinasabi sakin ni hubby na magpakasal na daw kami para makapag-sama na at saka lumalaki na si baby. Tapos, hindi na ako makakasagot. Marami na akong reason na ibibigay. Then, later on na-realize ko na why not take a chance. We love each other naman. Kung financially ready na kaming dalawa then go,go,go na. Kung may darating na problem then let it be. I don't want to miss the opportunity of having a fulfilling life with the people I love.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: CIB on May 27, 2011, 02:18:47 pm
@momskie Jane: Thank you. Yeah The fear of commitment crossed my mind noon pa when Im asking myself also bakit hindi ko magawa? Sabi ko pa nga ganito siguro yung feeling ng mga lalake  ;D Dahil kung ganito nga Nakakatakot naman pala kasi talaga. Somehow I know the reason. There’s a particular moment in my life na bumabalik sa akin everytime. Parang that’s the green-eyed monster na lagi nag-aabang for me to be scared and walk away. Isa sa New years resolutions ko nga is yun. To overcome the fear. Hoping and praying ako simula pa January. Kasi Im praying to make it right talaga para sa anak namin.

Kagabi nga I asked hubby “Gusto mo pa ba akong pakasalan?” after 5 long years. Pabiro yung tanong ko pero I saw how his face lit up. His eyes really got so excited na parang batang nabigyan ng surprise pero seconds lang sagot niya sa akin “Gusto mo na ba? Ikaw lang naman yung inaantay ko di ba? After the conversation the fear is crawling at my heart again pero hindi ko na hinahayaang gumapang. Instead napo-focus ako dun sa kung gaano magiging masaya yun kung saka-sakali.  Saka ilang tao yung mapapasaya ko talaga hindi lang si hubby. Kasi hindi lang naman si mama ko yung bothered talaga doon pati mil ko dahil twing may away kami ni hubby na medyo malala lagi niya sermon “Wala kasi kayong basbas ng simbahan. Lumalaki ang anak nyo. Ayusin nyo ang pagsasama nyo.”  At  bubulong sa akin “Ako ng bahala sa isusuot mo.”  ;D Mananahi kasi mil ko. At iniisip ko rin baka lumabo na ng lumabo ang mata niya pag pinag-antay ko pa. Saka I focus on telling myself everytime Im lucky enough to have a man na hindi ako iniwan kahit kailan. Someone who could just leave me pero hindi umaalis. Instead stand by me as a husband should be and more. We have lows pero mas marami naman yung ups. Have proven me time and again how much he loves me, why not sign the papers? Romantic yun kaya  ;D

Then kaninang umaga dumalaw na naman yung mag ka-sissies na mama ko sa simbahan. Yung kinulit niya talaga para kulitin kami na magpakasal sa simbahan simula pa nung feb.  And It was a Good morning to me. I guess its a sign na I don’t really have to worry about nothing. Biro mo I got to talk about it here pa na hindi ko pa nagagawa kahit saan at kahit kanino ,so I guess Im on my way. Kahit mismo kay hubby. Kasi Im really praying for it to happen this year. That His will will be powerful than my fears . That it will just simply fall into places when the right time comes. Na maayos muna talaga lahat. Walang pilitan. Kaya I guess Im really on my way there *crossedfingers*  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chester on May 27, 2011, 02:55:24 pm
@CIB:  in my opinion lang ha. i think hindi fear of commitment.  sigruo dahil sa madami ngsasabi na magpakasal na kayo kaya ka ngkakaganyan.  sobrang naiistress ka ba sa pagpipilit ng mga nasa paligid mo na magpakasal na kyo?
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommycute46 on May 27, 2011, 03:33:09 pm
ay ako din, same with CIB na may fear magpakasal pero hindi kami pareho sa reason. Ang sa akin kasin takot ako maloko ng partner ko, ilang beses ko kasi siya nahuli before. Ang dami kung what if's ngayon although he always assure me naman na noon yon, spicies of pagkabinata daw pero iba na ngayong magkakababy na kami. Pero di ko maalis yong takot ko and I don't even know kung ano isasagot ko pag nagpropose siya.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: CIB on May 27, 2011, 03:43:26 pm
@chester: Actually mama ko lang saka mil ko nangungulit pag may chance. Pero hindi naman ako pressured. Saka yung 2 sissies na ngayon sa simbahan. Kaya 4 na sila  ;D Kasi I think hubby made them or pinaki-usapan yung family niya na respect my decision before. Kaya hindi talaga napag-uusapan because hubby felt Im too sensitive sa topic. Mil ko lang sa part ni hubby because she can get away with it once in a while because siguro alam niya matanda sya. And really, I gave her that naman. Never naman sya nag push talaga na feeling ko atribida na sya  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on May 27, 2011, 03:45:53 pm
@ CIB: fingers crossed for you sis.  :) I guess love ka naman talaga ng hubby mo. Take your time. you'll be there when you are. Mamalayan, umo-o ka na pala sa kanya.  :D

Sis, I am hoping na yung fear mo to commit is about the commitment itself hindi dahil insecure ka sa relationship niyo or dahil hindi ka pa sure sa kanya. Kasi kapag ganun, naku, another complications nanaman. Sana hindi.  ;D

@ mommycute46: Naku sis, take your time. Kung nagawa niya nuon, magagawa at magagawa niya ulit yan sa iyo. Kilalanin mo muna siya ng mabuti pati family. Once you'll get to know his family, and I mean deep na pagkakakilala, then you'll have an idea kung anong kaya at hindi niya kaya gawin.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: CIB on May 27, 2011, 05:00:30 pm
@momskie Jane: Im kind of confident naman na I think yung commitment talaga yung takot ko. Yung vows that I would make sa harap ng Diyos. Takot kasi ako sa Diyos mas yun yung ayaw ko na parang I felt What if I failed Papa God? I don’t wanna hurt him pero later ko na realized na as a daughter of God mas nasasaktan ko sya considering the way I live. Me and hubby. Kaya nga Im praying talaga simula last year pa na tulungan niya akong gawin kong tama. Gawin namin ni hubby na tama.

I respect so much yung sanctity. Yung vows sa marriage na walang makakapag hiwalay sa mag-asawa kundi kamatayan lang. But my fear started... sige i’ll make kwento na para matapos ko. Andito na to siguro this is his way para magsimula akong mag heal. There are 3 incidents in my my life, maybe I was 9 till 11 na I saw first hand how my papa hurt my mama. As in binugbog sa harap naming magkakapatid.  Im shaking hehe. 3 girls kami out of 5. We didn’t saw all the scene though dahil hinila na kami ng ate ko sa kwarto but I heard all the screams and my moms crying. It was very traumatic. Naging series yun kahit year apart. But I was there in all of the incidents hanggang I grow-up na they’re falling apart. Hanggang hiwalay na sila natutulog nung teenager na ako. I would always hear my mom cry sa awa ko minsan I would go to her and asked her  “Bakit hindi pa kayo makipag-hiwalay?”  and she would answer  “Paano kayo? Masisira yung pamilya natin? Mahal ko kayong mga anak ko. Mahirap ang broken family.”  Then and there I thought Bakit mas gusto niya pa yun kesa makapag bagong buhay. In my mind I felt it’s not right.I never thought it got me until later on na lang with my life. On supposedly Im gonna start on having my own family. It stick on my mind na What If I be like just like my mom? Na would I spent my life crying at night, miserable and lonely ng dahil lang sa kasal. Because my parents are like that. Old fashioned. Na they stick together kahit dumating na sila sa point na they couldn’t stand each other anymore because they’re married. Kasi kasal sila sa simbahan. And I guess over the years I focused lang sa bad side na yun. Na I didn’t look dun sa total life nila. Life namin as a family. Na there are things sa kanila na hindi ko siguro maiintindihan kasi buhay nila yun. Yeah siguro nga. But If my mom forgave him already bakit ako hindi ko magawa. Patay na yung tao and hey he’s not really a bad person.

Kaya siguro subconciouslly sometimes I would trigger hubby to hit me if he could. Then swear right there and then that If he would, hihiwalayan ko talaga sya ng walang pali-paliwanag. But he never did. Never laid a finger on me kahit gaano sya kagalit. In those 5 years raised voice on me only twice. Bilang na bilang ko talaga kasi victory sa akin pag nakausap niya ako ng galit because he’s always calm, kahit gaano na sya kagalit. And I got to know him naman from his siblings and cousin and friends. In all fairness everybody said He’s a nice guy. Sobrang tahimik lang. And most importantly I know someone would hurt me only  if I allowed that somebody to hurt me.

That’s my reason. I felt na pag nakasal na kami he will have na the reason para saktan ako. I felt hubby will have all the proper documents to hurt me. May rason na sya. May panghahawakan na sya sa akin. Na napangako naman niya na sa akin even from the start hindi niya gagawin. No matter how much I coaxed him. Never. Dahil yun daw ang turo ng kuya niya sa kanya. At magsumbong daw ako. Sundalo kasi bil ko.

Weird ba ako?
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommycute46 on May 27, 2011, 05:28:08 pm
@momskie jane. Tama ka, I'm just starting to know him pa including his family.The good thing is kasundo ko ang family niya but they have the characters na "warrior" heheh, well sabagay yong 2 lang naman na anak ng mama niya sa first husband niya. Pero minsan napapaisip ako na paano kaya pag di ko sinansadya masaktan ko sila, baka awayin ako to the max ng dalawang yon heheh. I'm glad na hindi ganun ang partner ko, pareho kami tahimik saka ayaw ng away saka hindi talaga nananapak ng babae. Yon din kasi isang fear ko, pinalaki ako without violence at home kaya galit ako sa mga nananapak na lalaki sa kanilang asawa. But the main reason kung bakit takot ako mag-asawa is the issue of betrayal again. Nakikita ko naman seryoso na si partner but para sa akin hindi yon sapat. I need time to scrutinize and know him better kung nagbago nga siya.

@CIB...tama hinala ko (heheh di kasi ako naniwala sa unang rason mo na wala lang, maybe you are not ready to open up, pero ngayon I'm glad you did) its not the commitment itself kaya ayaw mo pa magpakasal but there are other factors at yon nga because you have a history of domestic violence. Mahirap nga yan pero 5 years is enough siguro to know your partner. I understand na as much as possible you don'nt want you don't want to see yourself in the situation of your mom ----ago. Pero mukhang malayo naman ugali hubby mo sa father mo kaya give him a chance. Do not let your past ruin your future.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on May 27, 2011, 06:29:34 pm
@ CIB: Thought so, the moment I read your story regarding your fear alam ko na kung ano ang pinanggagalingan. Tama si mommycute46.

Sis, your hubby is not your father. Wag mong ipilit na tumira sa anino ng nakaraan mo. Don't try to look for something that is not there anymore. You have to keep moving forward, or at least try to choose it. Di ba ayaw mong ma-ulit yun sa family mo ngayon?, pero tingnan mo parang ikaw na mismo ang naghahanap ng paraan para maulit yun.

When I was in college, a professor taught us that "behind every fear is a need". You are already aware of your fear, now you should know what your need is. Do you need a life full of hurting experiences? A life full of regrets? Full of bad memories? Or a new life with your own family, a life full of love and chances? Whatever your answer is, it's for you to choose. Pero siguro, before you do, try to forgive first. It doesn't mean you have to forget. It just means giving yourself a peaceful life.

Also sis, for me lang ha kasi di pa rin naman kami kasal ni hubby. Marriage is not about tying each other to a tree. Di naman ibig sabihin kasal kayo may karapatan nang magsakitan ang bawat isa. Wala naman sigurong nakalagay na ganyan sa marriage contract? You asked your mother before why ayaw niya pang makipaghiwalay, ikaw ba kapag nagkaganun you will also do the same? or you would do otherwise?
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: pretty_girl on May 27, 2011, 06:42:39 pm
maybe because they are not yet ready to get married or they wanted to have a big celebration for their wedding so they decided to save money first for the preparation of their big day :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommy honamie on May 28, 2011, 11:22:00 am
love is gambling nga daw db?..  ;) ;) you can have all the security that you need with all the documents you will have pag married ka na but you can never have a full assurance na he will never cheat or hurt you.. kasi sis syempre kahit asawa mo yan may sariling pag iisip yan na di mo hawak at controlled db dun naman papasok yung trust mo sa kanya yun lang naman panghahawakan mo sis diba? syempre love mo kaya pagkakatiwalaan mo at susugal ka.. if you love the person enough you will never be afraid to give all your trust to that perso you'll surrender your self diba?.. but also I understand your reason we all have our own fears sis take your time and think for what's the best lalo na sa baby diba? :D :D :D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: marikit on May 28, 2011, 03:38:00 pm
Buti pa kayo buget lang problema  ;D, one of the reasons baket hindi pa kami makapagpakasal ng partner ko ngayon kasi mahal ang annulment process dito wala naman divorce. Just a piece of advice - think a million times before marrying. Hay lugi mga babae dito sa Pinas eh... If i could just turn back times, sana di na lang ako nagpakasal sa unang partner ko and till now i still blaming myself kung baket ako nagpadala sa mga tao sa paligid ko kaya nagpakasal ako(bata pa that time kaya nalilito sa feelings). Wag nyo na lang pansinin yung mga tao sa paligid kung baket di nyo pa afford magpakasal in the end its your happiness not their happiness.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: CIB on May 29, 2011, 02:33:00 pm
Thank you mga sissies  ;D  Ngayon lang re-reply. I opted to really digest all the things  on my mind. Because what you all said is the same things that’s been battling on my mind for a while now. And yeah looking back now I think, How Silly?  ::)   ;D How silly I've been that it took so much energy from me and wasted time but then again....back then It really made sense, really.

@mommycute46: Were the same indeed  ;D Magkaiba nga lang ng rason pero yung fear talaga naman di ba? Hala ka! But sis take your time. Just take your time. Give yourself the freedom to simply Be True to yourself  :) That’s a gift that you could give yourself that no one else can.  To be a better person for others.  Sa magiging asawa mo. Sa real sense ng word  ;) I love every bit of what mommy honamie said   :) That's how Life work eh? Sabi ko rin nga sa sarili ko "Saan ba nakasulat dun sa marriage contract na pwede ka na nyang saktan pag nakasal na kayo? Nandun ba?" Anong assurance ang  ibibigay nun sa ginagawa ko na pag convince sa sarili ko ngayon na habang wala kaming papel eh wala syang karapatan na gawin yun. It doesnt work that way. Life really doesn’t work that way. A lot pa to ponder positively now that Im finally learning from what I did. If there is one thing lang na ayaw ko na lang sa ngayon is ayokong  magmadali  on taking it all at once. When I asked God to make it right maybe He just really want me to make it right. Everything will happen in Gods right time. I read yesterday about Michelle Obama advice for women  on relationships with spouses and with each other.  “Trust your instincts ... good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don't hurt. They're not painful.” And… I loved it.

@momskie Jane: I want a Life full of Love and CHANCES. You had really said it right. Chances is so into me now. Ito yung talagang natutunan ko from what I experienced. How I was so playing safe in almost   all aspect in my life.

What else can I say? Im just in awe on how brave a true woman can be. I am convinced, we, really are the better specie (Specie talaga  ;D ) on this “side” of the planet. Knowing some of you here in this topic, actually everybody who posted. I am just become so proud that I am also a woman. Do they really know how we (nakiki “we’ na talaga ako ngayon)brave this probably 10,000 more times than they do? While all of them cracked when marriage life reach it’s boiling point we remain holding-on like a true queen. Im having a better understanding now about my mom. Maybe she just didn’t...doesn’t wanna give-up. Simply because she doesn’t wanna see her king’s kingdom  fall apart. Kasi who, whoever will want that? And for whatever it’s worth sa tagal na, I am so glad she didn’t. 

Oh crap  :'(

Mom!

 ;D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Katie on May 29, 2011, 03:48:29 pm
busy kami sa paghahanap ng yaya at pregnancy ko nun. then biglang na-realize ko...hindi pala siya yung type na guy na mamahalin yung mga kids ko, from prev relationshio, in a way na gusto ko..for sure, may kanya kanya tayung way kung panu magmahal, pero iba kase yung acceptance sa mahal talaga.. kaya, nasabi ko, buti nalang, hindi pako nagpakasal, kundi, it may have made things more complicated.

there could be a reason why until now, i havent found my partner yet, but fpr now, masaya naman aku..

i think kung masaya naman kayu kahit hindi pa kasal, its much better than to be married but living a miserable life together...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: on June 03, 2011, 05:24:46 pm
I am pregnant din at marami ang nagtatanong kung bakit ayaw ko pa magpakasal although gusto na niya. First, I am too young to get married, I just turned 21 this year, I should still enjoy being single. Second, wala pa kami budget to live together. kawawa naman si baby, baka masundan lang agad. Third, gusto ko ng ideal na wedding, at sa panahon ngayon, we're broke. uunahin ko na muna yung anak ko. Last, natatakot ako na maging attached agad, I know naman na when I am married, wala na urungan.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chococream on June 07, 2011, 08:14:35 am
By the time nalaman namin na buntis ako namanhikan si bf at ang pamilya niya sa bahay pero nagka complicate kasi ayaw ng mother ko ang bf ko tapos na inuslto ng mother ko ang family ni bf kaya ayon nagalit agn family ni bf.. nagalit ang both families namin tapos na apektohan kami kaya nag.break kami ng mga 2years. Recently lang kami nag.balikan but still ayaw parin ng family ko ang bf ko kaya nag.tanan kami..heto nasa bahay kami ni baby nila pero we both decided not to get married yet kasi we dont have any money yet wala pang work si bf ( forcedleave) tapos we agreed na sa dami na nangyari sa family at sa amin dalawa we need to see first if this is real na or not. Mahirap kasi na mag.pakasal wala ng balikan tapos ayoko din na maging miserable wife. Gusto namin dalawa we fix everything first para happy ang marriage namin. 

ssshhhh...atin lang to ah...si bf kasi parang hindi pa makawala sa barkada niya at inuman ...kahit all barakda niya is married na lahat sila lahat lalake is always parin inuman galore at umuuwi ng 1am.grrr  heheh kaya ayaw ko muna talga..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: t.riisha on June 07, 2011, 02:07:13 pm
nice thread!.. pa-join na din ako mga mommies..

just like other mommies here bonggang budget din ang main reason kaya hindi pa kami nagpapachurch wedding ni hubby.. tho' nagcivil wedding na kami before i gave birth to our 1st baby... we both want na makasal sa church but sa panahon ngayon practical na lahat ng tao! tama kayo, as long as your happy with each other, loving and trusting each other super GO na yun! saka na ang church wedding .. magfocus na lang muna kay baby tutal uso naman yung hindi muna nagpapakasal eh!  katakot din dahil madami ako kakilala bongga ang kasal pero after a year or two ayun nag-iipon na ulit, pero this time hindi na pangkasal ang iniipon kundi pang annul... heheh!!

siguro for me kung gusto nyo din magpakasal wala naman masama kung civil lang din muna, you don't need much money .. kami kasi kinailangan lang namin ng isang ninong at ninang then parents ko at nagbayad lang kami sa atty., that's it! legitimate ang baby ko... saka na lang kami papakasal sa church kasi gusto ko maging little bride ko is yung baby ko din! heheh!
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Jean_31 on June 10, 2011, 11:33:03 pm
Hindi niya ako mapakasalan because he's married for 7 years and meron silang 7years old na son. For 2 years na mag bf-gf kami I just found out na he's married 2 weeks after I gave birth. Tinago ng in-laws ko yun sakin...
Actually na pikot kasi yung bf ko. After nung civil marriage nila, back to normal lahat. Never silang nag sama as mag asawa. Until now hindi parin matanggap ng bf ko yung pamimikot sa kanya even yung anak nila hindi rin niya matanggap. Nakakaawa nga yung bata kasi wala naman sya kasalanan sa away ng family ng girl and ng bf ko. The annulment is in process palang... kaya ayun.  :'(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Einjel on June 12, 2011, 04:04:15 am
waaaa...puro budget ang problem.  Sa situation namin ganun dn, walang budget for my dream wedding. At eto siya age kong 25 mag aapat na ang anak namin eh wala pah dn kasal pero puno naman ng pgmamahalan. Yun naman ang importante siya lahat. Drating dn yang kasal nah yan at kung di man,para sken kompleto na ang life ko at happy naman ako. hehe!
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chococream on June 12, 2011, 05:58:01 am
@sis einjel   naka apat kana sis...na takot na nga ako sa isa kaya ayaw muna dag.dagan pa hehe
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: t.riisha on June 13, 2011, 04:45:56 pm
mommy einjel - makakaapat ka na ?!.. nakuu ako medyo kinakabahan, feeling magkakaron na ko ng pang 2nd baby.. happy na medyo bothered kasi 1yr old pa lang si panganay..

dream wedding ko is garden wedding... ayoko ng simple gusto ko bongga dahil once in a lifetime lang toh, tapos sa 1 and only man of my life pa kaya gusto ko engrande talaga.. haay! tapos yung little girl namin ang magiging little bride ko hehe!.. nice.. pero gusto ko kasi pag kinasal kami eh super wala na ko intindihin pagdating sa house at sana may regular job na si hubbu by the time na ikakasal na kami...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momsieblair on July 02, 2011, 02:07:22 am
 8) pa join naman sa thread na toh

kaka 1year lang ni Sky. Minsan nga hinhintay ko na pagusapan namin yung wedding,pero feeling ko wala syang pake.. Kesyo darating daw kami sa right time..sabagay nagdadalawang isip ako lalo na pag nagaaway kami ng sobra..nag fflashback lahat ng galit ko sa kanya, so di din maiwasan na makapagisip ako na mabuti nga na di muna kami kasal.anlabo noh...haay
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: εїз" Mrs.Pisces "εїз on July 04, 2011, 10:28:15 pm
Main reason siguro namin... hindi ko namang masabing Budget kasi ako hindi ako nag hahangad ng BUngang Kasal same with my Bf /hubby pinaka main siguro namin were still trying to know each other kahit na sabihin naming almost 5years na kami.. living in together.. nandun parin talaga yung mga time na nag tatalo kami... sabi ng mga matatanda normal lang daw yun.. pero i rather know him better wala naman akong pakialam sa sinasabi ng iba.. if hindi kami kasal kaysa naman makasal kami then pag sisihan naming pareho .. it doesnt mean na hindi namin mahal ang isat isat were perfectly fine.. okay bonding namin.. pero siguro yun talaga main reason namin, pero more than 10x na yata akong inayang magpakasal ni Bf ko.. ako yung umaayaw... siguro may phobia ako sa mga nakikita kong gustong kumalawa sa marriages pero hindi nila magawa kasi wala namang divorce dito sa pinas.. if mag papaannul naman super magastos hehe..
so okay na rin siguro itong ganito kami.. maybe when the right time come.. at naramdaman ko na at nasabi ko na sa sarili ko na sya na FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.. baka.. :)

Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Rona on July 04, 2011, 11:24:54 pm
mga mommies pajoin po..
samin din po main reason budget..dati po super nagmamadali ako magpakasal n kame kaso ngayun na may baby na hndi ko n siya maxado priority iniisip ko nalang para sa baby ko nalang.. at tsaka dati nga po mga mommies super nahihiya pako pano 1 time nagkaprob kc c hubby sa line ng fone niya so sbi niya call daw ako sa head ofis and then nun viniverify n ako ask nila ano ko daw c jef(name ng hubby ko) and then sabi ko sa taga head ofiz husband ko nga bigla b naman ako sinabihan n panu ko daw mgiging husband i single daw nkadeclare sa husband ko..bgla ako hindi nakaimik sa cnbi niya nashock ako sobra.. hindi kaagad ako nkpagreact nhiya naman ako.. uu nga naman my point siya nklgay nga naman n single kc wala nga naman unmarried sa status n application nla.. late ko n nag sink in sa utak ko n mgreason out sa cnbi ng taga head ofis.. after nun incident pgpinapatwag ako ni hubby umaayaw n ako..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momskie Jane on July 07, 2011, 09:55:59 am
mga mommies, hindi ba kayo  nagfa-family planning? lalo na yung baby pa ang anak.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: simplyme28 on July 07, 2011, 11:13:18 am
main reason is budget.. ;D pero will planning na to do it by late next year..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: kawaiimaridel on September 28, 2011, 07:58:13 pm
nakakabwisit yung mga taong tanong ng tanong,alam naman nila sagot...sa akin naman ang gusto ko kahit sa huwes lang ok na,pero yung asawa ko masyadong mayabang.kasi yung mga nakakabata niyang kapatid eh maganda ang mga kasal.ayaw patalbog,ibibigay daw niya ang gusto kong kasal.kasi aminin na natin girls may dream wedding tayo lahat di ba??
alam niyo kung ano ang sinasagot ko sa kanila??


"BAKIT BA INIP NA INIP KAYO SA KASAL KO,MASYADO KAYONG EXCITED.AKO NGA KALMADO LANG"
 
yun titigil na sila,kainis parang sila ang ikakasal,mga excited masyado.as if naman invited sila.yung mga taong gusto ko lang makita sa wedding ko ang makikita ko dun at hindi buong barangay ang makita ko dun,lalo na mga tsismosa.ban sila,kasi kahit anong ganda ng kasal may pangit pa rin silang masasabi...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Princess Dizon on September 28, 2011, 10:06:43 pm
 Hi Mommy's :)

 For me the main reason kung bakit hindi pa kami nagpapakasal is we're too young pa and ayaw nming magpakasal dahil lang sa nagkaanak na kami tska wala pa kami money pra magpakasal :) hehe pero we're planning to get married once we finished our studies at syempre kapag may naipon na kami  ;)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: MommyMichell on September 28, 2011, 10:49:39 pm
same kami ni sis kawaiimaridel lahat (as in) ng friends ng asawa ko, friends ko, kamag-anak (not immediate na relatives) ask ng ask kung bakit di pa kami nagpapakasal e we've been together for 14 years na (3 years bf/gf at 11 years live-in and counting ;)) we have 2 kids (11 year old son & 6 year old daughter) pero natatawa lang kami, never pa naman akong naasar kasi sila pa talaga yung excited na makasal kami

ang reason naman na di pa kami kasal, kasi maaga ako nabuntis (turning 18, 18 ako nanganak) syempre bitter & galit nanay ko pero tatay ko cool lang (katwiran niya dun din naman talaga kami papunta napaaga lang kaya galit na galit lalo nanay ko kunsitidor daw tatay ko lol) gusto ako ipakasal pero ako na rin nagsabi na sundin na lang kung ano yung gusto ni nanay para di na madagdagan yung heartache na binigay namin sa kanya at di rin ako naniniwala (just speaking for myself) na kelangan makasal kami dahil nabuntis ako, plan namin sa 25th anniversary na namin  :D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommy♥cheng on October 01, 2011, 01:12:26 pm
hi mga sis :) ganu din kame, we're not yet financially stable, wala pa kameng sariling bahay & ipon pa :)) ganun din both young, i was 18 when i gave birth & hubby was 22 then.. isa pa kelangan ko makagraduate muna & makapasa ng board.. by next year.. we have plans pero wala pang date.. mahirap kasi maya maudlot  :o
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: -joanamber- on October 21, 2011, 01:10:08 pm
For me kasi, madali lang magpakasal pero pag nagaway na kayo at gusto nyo na maghiwalay mahirap na. Kaya gusto ko magtagal muna kami, matest namin yung strength naming dalwa then tska kami magpakasal pag okay na yung lahat.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Mark Joseph on October 23, 2011, 10:45:03 pm
for me din kahit 3 na ang anak ko eh kasi sabi ng hubby ko pra makapag ipon ng financial kaso ang nangyari kung kailan na marami syang pera eh nkalimutan niya na ako tapos pinalabas niya na meron akong lover,,,, tapos ang sakit kasi hinantay ko sya ng matagal, sinet up niya lang ako para makapag uwi sya ng babae niya,,,,

Gusto ka lang po ishare...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Apple0ftheEye on October 30, 2011, 04:12:51 pm
Good day mga mommies.... pa-share

Annuled na ko 2yrs ago sa ex-hubby ko, ( I was young then) and now it's my second chance to have my family again, one reason siguro yung fear na baka di mag work-out again.. baka matulad lang din sa nangyari sa past ko..Other reasons pa I got pregnant kase nung bago palang kame and now my baby is 3 months na, that time gusto talaga nila na magpakasal na kami ni hubby since he's 31 and am 26..first apo pa si baby, gusto din ni hubby ko now but the thing is super laki ng tummy ko parang ang panget tignan naman nakasuot ka ng gown na ganun,and ayoko din masabi na dahil preggy lang kaya magpapakasal diba? so we decided na after I gave birth na lang. But now naman nanganak na ko,super daming gastos.. yung saving niya for our wedding sana, nagamit na sa panganganak ko CS kase ako eh super mahal pag CS diba mga mommies..Plus, nagpa-babtismal pa si baby dito mas mas mahal nagastos 200 persons ba naman eh! Daming kamag-anak :) Then umabot pa sa binenta niya yung car namen para pandadag kaso naman nung nakikita ko how hard for my hubby na mag-commute everyday from bulacan-manila,(we decided to stay here muna kase sa house ng parents niya para maalagaan kame wala kase kame kasama dun sa house namen sa manila pag nasa work sya) So ayon, ako na nag-suggest na wag na muna kame magpakasal buy nalang muna sya ng auto niya para di sya nahihirapan magcommute everyday,Imagine,punuan sa bus,after long hours of work nakatayo pa,nakakaawa. And also, parang gusto ko na din muna na i-try yung live-in kung talagang magwork then go na.. 1 yr palang naman kame together pero click naman relationship namen smooth and steady lang pero syempre we're just starting so gusto ko muna makasiguro this time..hehe

I told him nga one time: Kahit di mo na ko pakasalan basta wag mo lang akong lolokohin, mas ok pa saken yun!! heheh.. ayoko na mangyari saken yung kasal nga kayo lolokohin ka lang din naman pala db?! Mga mommies, wish me luck na sana this second time na wedding ko in the future for real na, I'm hoping na maging succesful na! 

We have different reasons and stories behind but I'm sure we will all get there mga mommies !!! Focus muna tayo sa mga babies and other things para wag mapressure sa wedding issue na yan.. Goodluck to us!!
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Aicha on October 30, 2011, 06:55:43 pm
dahil sa Petition ko  :) saka ayoko sabihin ng mga tao na nagpakasal kami dahil sa unwanted preganancy, gusto ko dahil handa na kami at sure na gusto namin na kami na magkasama for life. masakit sa ulo mag pa annul noh. gastos pa, like what my mother is going through, almost 200K para lang sa annulment nila ng father ko.. so i want to be sure..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Apple0ftheEye on October 31, 2011, 08:10:22 pm
dahil sa Petition ko  :) saka ayoko sabihin ng mga tao na nagpakasal kami dahil sa unwanted preganancy, gusto ko dahil handa na kami at sure na gusto namin na kami na magkasama for life. masakit sa ulo mag pa annul noh. gastos pa, like what my mother is going through, almost 200K para lang sa annulment nila ng father ko.. so i want to be sure..

CORRECT mommy Aicha..  ??? exactly ganyan nagastos namen, waaahh! sayang diba?? Hmp! That's life..
Kaya nga this time carefull na ko ahaha.. oh well.. crossfinger*
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Aicha on October 31, 2011, 10:13:47 pm
oo sis kaya ayoko agad magpakasal kami, nung preggy ako sabi ng mga relatives kahil civil lang daw muna kasi ang reason ko walang budget, pero sa totoo lang di pa ko sigurado. hehe, dahil narin siguro sa nangyari sa parents ko kaya ganito ako. hehe  ;D ;D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: clytie_27 on November 02, 2011, 12:24:38 pm
ics ako budget din hihi at parang takot na din.. sa dami ng hirap ko heheeh..

pero gusto ni hubby mag civil kaso ayoko e.. we can do naman church or what basta simple lang db? saka kasi gusto ko din yung magchurch for myself and for my mom..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ericamm on November 03, 2011, 12:48:45 am
^ako naman nag-aantay lang.. Pero at the same time hindi nagmamadali. Gusto ko kasi matulungan si bf mag ipon para samin, hindi ganun kadali kasi magkalayo kami at kelangan din iproseso ang visa naming mag-ina. Ayaw din naman namin makitira sa house nila ng mom niya. Mamimiss ko din pamilya ko dito. Pero we can choose to stay here na lang sa pinas kaya lang sayang ang citizenship at financial stability niya doon.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: jadz1826 on November 03, 2011, 02:38:35 pm
joining....

@sis RONA oo nga sis mahirap nga un pag sa work medyo nakahiya, kami ni hubby madalas makaexperience ng ganyan..

Eto ang kwento ko.. hehe!!

8 years na kaming living together ni hubby, 3 years bf/gf when we have our first baby, so nagdecide kami na magsama na dahil mas magiging madali for both of us at sa baby kung magkasama kami at mahal naman talaga namin ang isa't isa, nung time na un di pumasok sa utak namin pareho na magpakasal all our concerns ay si baby at sobrang excited kami nun sa pagdating ni baby naging smooth lahat, tapos when i gave birth kay hubby surname ni baby di namin pinagusapan basta un nalang ang nangyari, parang wala ng dapat pang pagusapan. years passed ngayon medyo nahirapan na kami at ngayon namin naisip na sana pala nagpakasal na kami nuon na maluwag pa sa budget dahil lumalaki na si baby at masakit para samin na illegitimate parin sya kahit na were ok naman as family di parin namin maalis yung thought na di parin ligitimate son niya si baby at di pa kami kasal pareho kasi kami naniniwala ni hubby na mahalaga sa pagsasama ang kasal kahit sa simbahan man o civil lang at mas magiging madali sa lahat ng kakaylangin ng mga kids pag laki nila, isa pa hirap din kami sa work ni hubby kasi single nga nakalagay sakanya so lahat ng benefits di namin magamit ni baby tapos ngayon we will having our 2nd child pa so di na naman namin magagamit yung philhealth at faternity leave ni hubby n dapat meron kung kasal kami. nagyon namin gustog gusto magpakasal para maging maayos na ang lahat kaso tight na ang budget dahil preschooler na  si panganay tapos preggy pa ko ngayon syempre need namin pagipunan lahat ng needs sa panganganak ko at things ni 2nd baby plus needs ni kuya at needs dito sa bahay.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: clytie_27 on November 04, 2011, 06:40:27 am
mommy jadz1826 i agree with u.. ang hirap ng magplano no?? kasi ako 2 years old na ang anak ko.. hindi padin kami kasal e.. apelyido nga ng lalaki yung gamit pero db??? illegitimate padin yung baby... nakakaloka pa.. mauunahan na kami ng sister niya..

sharing lang hihi.. lulungkot lang minsan..  :( :( :(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: jadz1826 on November 04, 2011, 05:56:49 pm
pero ok lang yan sis, hehe! isipin mo nalang darating din yung time nyo ni hubby mo..  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: angelchie23 on November 04, 2011, 09:12:39 pm
kami naman dahil din sa petition.. we're together for 11 yrs na pero dahil nga nakapetition kami as single eh wala kaming choice kundi maghintay kung sinong unang makaalis samin! ok din naman for me as long as dala ng baby namin ang family name niya and we're happy living in together! :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mejhez on November 10, 2011, 04:47:07 pm
^parehas tayo sis, petition din. We've been together for 6yrs na. Now lang kami nagkababy. By choice pa. On Dec 19 na ang interview ni hubby sa embassy. We're planning (hopefully) by next year makabalik sya for us to get married. Hays, finally... Tagal ko din nagantay for the marriage.... At magaantay na naman for his petition naman for us.

Nakakapikon nga pag madami nagtatanong. Andyan yung bakit kasal na ba sya etc... Weird mga tao. Kaloka...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: angelchie23 on November 11, 2011, 02:54:49 pm
kami din ngayon lang magkakababy.. sana nga maisama niya pag alis! buti sau sis mejhez malapit na interview.. sa bf ko siguro medyo matagal pa! gudlak sa interview ng hubby mo! ayaw mo ipasama si baby mo? pwede naman un diba? kaso malalayo sau c baby! :)

oo nga sis.. daming etchosera sa paligid! kiber ba natin sa kanila as long as happy tau at alam natin ang kwento kung bakit d pa tau kasal! :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: working_girl88 on November 11, 2011, 03:23:48 pm
pa join mga sis..

kami naman, dapat magpapakasal kami last month, para before lumabas si baby, kasal na kami. pero sobrang tight ang budget. kay baby na nga lang medyo kulang na kami, we decided na lang to postpone it. siguro pag nagwowork nako ulit, ipon ipon muna for civil wedding, kase mas mura. another reason is hindi alam ng parents ko about me and bf, magkasama kami sa apt now. and hindi nila alam na preggy ako. sobrang complicated ng buhay ko kaya hindi na muna namin dadagdagan ng another complication. may problema din kase sa mom ni bf. nasa last will niya na hindi makukuha ni bf yung mana niya pag nagpakasal sya. kaya eto "married by hearts not by the law".  ok na din yun, at least happy kami..  ;)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: miekee_18 on November 18, 2011, 11:45:14 am
hmm I remember nag post ako dati dito ang reason kaya hindi kami makapagpakasal kasi short sa budget..ngayun kasal na kami (civil Wed) mabilisan kasi alis na ko mag fly na to finland..eh gusto namin ni hubby na before ako makaalis maayos laht ng papers & xempre gusto ko at niya na dala ko surname niya so ayun we planned and now finally married na kami..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: jadz1826 on November 18, 2011, 08:54:08 pm
me too, naalala ko nag post din ako dito regarding sa kung bakit di pa kami nakapag pakasal ni hubby.. nut now ok na nasinggit narin namin sa budget sa wakas yung civil wed namin.. we make it simple but memorable. tsaka para narin sa kids namin.. mas maganda kasi daw talaga para sakanila..  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mejhez on December 30, 2011, 09:47:29 am
kami din ngayon lang magkakababy.. sana nga maisama niya pag alis! buti sau sis mejhez malapit na interview.. sa bf ko siguro medyo matagal pa! gudlak sa interview ng hubby mo! ayaw mo ipasama si baby mo? pwede naman un diba? kaso malalayo sau c baby! :)

oo nga sis.. daming etchosera sa paligid! kiber ba natin sa kanila as long as happy tau at alam natin ang kwento kung bakit d pa tau kasal! :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommy_tl on December 30, 2011, 12:13:29 pm
join ako dito...

gustong gusto na namin magpakasal kaso were still waiting for his mom's consent..everytime na tatawag sya sa nanay niya about our wedding, hindi sinasagot pati sa mga text walang reply..ayoko kasi na walang consent ng both parents eh kasi parang walang blessing yung kasal namin pero hindi naman pdeng forever kameng maghintay nun diba? hindi ko rin alam kung kelan ko lalagyan ng due date yung paghingi namin ng consent..nakakainis at nakakasakit na kasi..  :'(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mejhez on December 30, 2011, 12:38:16 pm
kami din ngayon lang magkakababy.. sana nga maisama niya pag alis! buti sau sis mejhez malapit na interview.. sa bf ko siguro medyo matagal pa! gudlak sa interview ng hubby mo! ayaw mo ipasama si baby mo? pwede naman un diba? kaso malalayo sau c baby! :)

oo nga sis.. daming etchosera sa paligid! kiber ba natin sa kanila as long as happy tau at alam natin ang kwento kung bakit d pa tau kasal! :)

Approved na sis. 2nd week of Feb alis. Di ko pinasama si baby ko. I'm gonna get crazy... hehe... Di pwede....

So ngayon, aalamin ko ano na magiging reaksyon ng mga etchosera.... Hmp...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: eowyn on January 02, 2012, 01:26:47 pm
Meron palang topic na ganito...E di sana last year nakipost na agad ako. :-)

My/Our reasons for remaining technically single:
1. We have so many issues to settle among ourselves.
When we got pregnant, everybody was very much against it. People did not understand that we are old enough to decide for ourselves, that whatever choice we made, we gladly accept the consequence/challenge that comes with it. Naapektuhan na kami ng kaliwa't kanang batuhan ng issue--- sumbat from each party, judgmental people (surprisingly friends and family members pa sila), isama na rin natin ang financial issues.

2. We need more time for adjustment.
We are both freedom-loving individuals. I don't know if we can attribute it to the fact that we are both Sagittarians (you know, zodiac stuff), but we really need to adapt to our situation, and learn that as parents, our individual hobbies and interests take a backseat sometimes. Hindi pwede na palaging parang buhay-binata. Mas applicable ito sa kanya kasi mas mataas yung desire niya to still pursue the same things he does when he was still very much single. Pati sa pag-uugali, ideals in life, nakita namin na magkaiba kami sa maraming aspeto. I can say that though we've been living with each other for 4 years now, it is only now that we are moving towards understanding each other for what we are, what we want, and what we need.

3. Budget
At first , we thought that this is our only probloem. Later on, as the days passed by na magkasama kami sa bahay, hindi lang pala ito ang tunay na problema namin. May #1 and #2 pa (abovestated).

Actually, the trick to facing questions on our being single is choosing smart answers. With smart, hindi ko naman sinasabing dapat intellectual reply, but more of a reply that would make them back off, without us being mean. Example, pag tinatanong ako bakit hindi pa kasal, una kong sinasabi: "Bakit?" or "Why do you wanna know?" Eh di mag-iisip na sila agad kung anong isasagot nila. Pag sinabi na dapat magpakasal na kayo para sa bata, ang sinasabi ko naman, ang kasal formality lang yan. Hindi nga yan para sa bata eh, para yan gawing lehitimo ang pagsasama ng dalawang indibidwal, pero hindi kailangan minamadali, may anak ka man o wala. Pero gusto ko yung sagot na napagkasunduan namin ng partner ko: Darating din tayo dyan. :-)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: danel_em on January 26, 2012, 10:06:22 pm
hindi naman sa nagmamagaling ako laban sa paniniwala ng mga catholic... pero kasi, ang kasal, papel na pipirmahan  nyo lang. hindi naman pipirma anak nyo dun, so isipin dn ang magiging kalagayan ng baby kung magpapakasal lang kayo dahil sa kanya tapos in the long run eh maghihiwalay din.

1st reason: hindi kayo stable. walang sariling bahay. kasi naniniwala ako na dapat kumpleto na ang pangangailangan ng magbf.. kasi ikakasal nga kayo tapos sa nanay@tatay nyo dn kayo maninirahan.
2nd reason: if for the last 5 months you are arguing about financial problems. kasi kaakibat ng financial problem ang insecurities...mamaya ikakasal kayo un pala nagaaway pa kayo dahil lang sa pera. i know its childish, pero kasi pera lang yan bakit pa kelangan pagawayan,kung walang pangpakasal eh d wag piilitin.
3rd reason: if you are planning to be wed on a courtroom.. ewan ko kung bakit naniniwala ako kelangan lumakad ng babae sa simabahan, mas respectful kasi pag ganun ang plano ng babae at lalaki, yung ikasal sa simabahan.
4th reason: kungisa sa RASON NYO IS DAHIL NAGKABUNTISAN KAYO. its not enough reason to get married. getting pregnant unplanned is the most frustrating thing a woman may have. hindi solusyon ang kasal, sometimes it triggers depression, kasi iisipin ng babae, pinakasalan lan niya ako dahil buntis ako.. ang solusyon is wag nyo takbuhan ang responsibilidad nyo panagutan nyo in short.
5th reason: kung nakapetition ang isa sa inyo. kasi sayang un, i know getting married before the petition will add a process and it will take longer to be approved.

be open minded ladies and gentlemen.. wag pairalin ang old ways. be practical. mahal ang annulment at divorce :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: love elle on January 27, 2012, 09:40:47 am
we plan not to get married during the time that i was pregnant because i want to pursue my post grad studies pa and parents ko magpapaaral sa akin. bf naman is hindi pa din graduate. ayaw namin magpakasal kasi hindi pa talaga kami ready para suportahan sarili namin. tsaka walang pera family niya para dun baka kami pa gumastos. :p
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Mommy Jazz on April 25, 2012, 09:01:02 am
Naisip ko lang na related itong SP article to this topic
1 in 4 Babies Born to Unwed Couples, says Report

It says here: "More people are cohabiting. It's more likely that they are going to have children when in cohabiting unions,” ...
”Marriage is an achievement that you enter into when you’re ready. But in the meantime, life happens. You form relationships. You have sex. You get pregnant. In a perfect world, they would prefer to be married, but where the economy is now, they’re not going to be able to get married, and they don’t want to wait to have kids.”


http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/community/news/1-in-4-babies-born-to-unwed-couples-says-report (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/community/news/1-in-4-babies-born-to-unwed-couples-says-report)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: danna04 on April 30, 2012, 03:12:18 pm
Buti pa mga sis na nammroblema sa budget. Mas mahirap kasi kung ayaw ka lang talaga pakasalan. yung di mo alam where your relationship stands.kung may future ba or what.. hindi naman din appropriate na magtanong na kung di naman kayo ppakasal, eh maghiwalay nalang kayo.db. haaay ang hirap ng complicated.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: dmnq on April 30, 2012, 04:25:31 pm
sakin pag may nagtatanong nito ang sinasabi ko na lang hindi na uso ang magpakasal ngayon. ang hirap kasi mag explain each time na may magtatanong niyan kasi parang pang telenovela lang ang buhay ko. Ang husband ko kasi is naka arranged marriage para mapabilis yung pagpunta niya sa ibang bansa. 2008 pa sila kinasal ang up until now hindi pa niya madivorce yung girl kasi kulang pa yung papers niya. Pero minsan symepre napapaisip din ako ng negative. Mag 7 years na din kami at 2 na kids.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: momchielo on June 12, 2012, 10:42:40 am
buti nga halos lahat kayo budget ang problema, ako nga d man lang namin napag-uusapan yung tungkol sa kasal.. haist.
 :'(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Blake on June 28, 2012, 04:36:55 am
join ako jan! WHY?
- we're still young, wild, and free. (parang kanta to ah.)
- still a bit immature.
- we have super complicated TRUST issues.
- magastos! i wanna graduate first and save! ipon muna ako now for my kid.
- i wanna find myself first. rebuild my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, (at lahat na siguro ng self-whatnots)
- kahit na 5 years na kaming nakikipagsapalaran sa isat isa, it's not yet enough. im going to make sure i know him from  head to foot inside and out. i know him quite well... but still, not enough.
- kahit kailan, gusto ko pa rin ng PEACE. yung tipikal na bati both families nyo, etc. (malas ako dito eh.)
- i wanna be respected first by my son's dad.
- lastly, i wanna be asked by Him. like in movies. 
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: YanYanYanYanYan on September 17, 2012, 09:41:08 pm

Simply because we are happy as it is. Masaya kami, contented and ofcourse we have God in the center of our relationship palagi. Marriage is just about legality mapa church or civil. Depende pa rin yan sa pagsasama nyo. Kasal nga sa harap ng simbahan but you don't practice the real meaning of marriage like puro away, sigawan, bulyawan, sakitan. murahan what's the meaning of it di ba...

medyo iba kase pananaw namin sa marriage ng Hubby ko kaya siguro next time na ang kasal pag convincing na ang meaning neto samen.  ;) Besides, assured naman ako na we'll sticking together till the end.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: karlandkadi on September 28, 2012, 10:18:34 am
joining:

ako po mga sis, ang problema namin ng hubby ko kaya hindi pa kami kinakasal is yung birth certificate ko po. :(
wala kasi akong birth certificate mga sis, nalaman ko lang yun nung nakagraduate na ako ng elementary. pinera daw kasi ng naglakad yung pamparehisto. nakakainis talaga, kasi pati sa papasukan na school ng anak ko ngayong gr.1 kasama na ang marriage contract ng parents sa mga requirements. :(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chococream on September 28, 2012, 02:54:52 pm
kaka matay lang ng father ni hubby, hindi pa nag 1year kaya hindi pa puede which is ok na din kasi la pa din naman budget kahit civilman lang hindi pa talaga kaya always short
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: sweet&spice on October 02, 2012, 01:07:22 pm
seriously i have put off my own wedding for two times already.

apart from budget, i have trust issues. i want to be sure that he will be a good stepdad for my son and good role model for him. actually, puro trust issues pala. hahaha. i'm still weighing if he wants to be married to me, because i earn more, or talagang ako ang gusto niya.

for single moms on the next guy kasi, iba ang tinitingnan ko --- apart sa dapat love ako nung guy, i am waiting to be convinced that:

1. he can provide for me and my son (kahit na i can provide naman) --- kasi syempre, gusto ko ng katuwang sa buhay. i have this possessive notion kasi na kesa naman makahati ka ng anak ko sa pera ko, sa kanya na lang. i am obligated to raise and support my child, not support my husband. he can fend for himself, malaki na sya. I am the only responsible and willing parent to raise my son, so I have to be careful that I don't waste my money on somebody who will not love him.

2. he can love my son wholeheartedly --- na even if magka-baby kami, there are no special treatment to the 'next' child.

3. has he accepted wholly that i am a single mom with a child? -- i am still observing how he is with my son and with me. his temper, his predispositions on character --- basically his values and prejudices.

4. yung money aspect --- it's more of my security.  although he said he will sign a prenup, ayoko pa rin. para namang nagkamali ako ng pinili if i insist on that. i just want him to consistently deliver and pick himself up again.  his confidence level is based on how much he earns and i want him to have that again. nakakain sya ng hiya and insecurity over these prolonged forloughs in income eh.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ~_Chi-Chi_~ on October 08, 2012, 11:43:42 pm
As much as we want to, hindi pa pwede. Nakapetition kasi siya for the states. Actually, silang dalawa ni baby.  Tsaka sabi ko sa kanya, gusto ko pag kinasal kami, yung napag ipunan naming dalawa kasi minsan lang naman kami ikakasal sa church. :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: studentmom on October 09, 2012, 03:17:43 pm
Money matters of course...

di ba kasalan ang magsama ng hindi pa kasal??
kaya nga lagi kami nagpapray na sana maintindihan kami ni Lord sa sitwasyon namin..


pero marami namang way para maikasal..
minsan kc literal nang nagtatanong si partner sa akin,
pakasal na tayo.. kahit civil lang..

well,
hindi din namin magawa, kasi parents niya nasa ibang bansa.. at di basta basta makauwi..
2nd.. im still studying.. so after ko pa makagraduate..
ang alam kasi namin mahirap makahanap ng work kapag malamang married na ako..

isa pang rason,
di pa ko nakukumpilan, wala pa din aqng 1st communion.. buti n lang nabinyagan na ko.. hehe..
nahihiya akong makisabay sa mga kiddos.. naku, hintayin ko na lang baby ko.. sabay kami sa 1st communion at kumpil niya.. hehe

Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Morefun on October 20, 2012, 12:27:34 pm
 ;D hehe, naku ganyan din problem namin ni hubby.  budget.  isang malaking problema.  but you know what mga sis, maraming nagsabi sa amin na dadating din yun when you least expected it.  so gora kami ni hubby.  may wedding date na, nagpareserve na sa church at restaurant pero ala pa ding ipon, ay meron, mga 20,000 but we need so much more.  alang honeymoon kaming plano kasi nga ang budget.  pero you know, God is good talaga.  after the wedding, ayun, ala kaming utang at miracle of miracles, may savings pa kami.   ;D hanggang ngayon napapaisip pa rin ako kung paano na palano ni Lord ang lahat lahat.  super dami ang nagbigay sa amin na hindi talga namin inasahan.  plus may nagregalo pa ng trip to hong kong!  Thank you Lord talaga!
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: kissablesam on October 20, 2012, 02:10:03 pm
I have a very simple wedding dream, basta church lang.. Sa ngayon, tama na muna kami sa ganitong set up basta masaya kami, i know naman darating din kami sa "big day" hopefully next year... :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: jem.sexy@yahoo.com on October 21, 2012, 04:00:54 pm
not to marry muna because both partners are not yet ready to give themselves to others meaning giving oneself to your partner and soon to be kids  :)  madamot pa, gusto muna pansarili tulad ng pag angat sa career, pagtulong sa pamilya, patunayan ang sarili sa mundo, etc.  pag ready na yung parehong partners to give up these matters and share themselves to others, share their time, share their knowledge, atbp then i think marriage is in the offing  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ninang on October 23, 2012, 02:32:15 pm
well sa hirap ng buhay ngayon one big reason is not financially stable. cyempre iba padin if your styaing with your parents libre electricity water pag uwi mo may food nang nakahanda etc. well for some naman hnd pa talaga ready.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: myLife26 on October 24, 2012, 02:23:04 pm
main reason is ayoko pa! gusto ko magpakasal kami ni ni boyfriend after ko grumaduate.
second unahin muna namin ang ibang dapat pagkagastusan. lalo na at may baby na darating sa amin.
third wala si bf nasa abroad kaya di pa pwede.
basta paguwi niya kasi bubukod na kami. i'm still living pa kasi sa parents ko now. kasi unexpected si baby ko eh. kaya di pa naplano ng maayos. hehe.
pero SOON darating din yan.  :)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: danixnix on December 13, 2012, 04:19:03 pm
ako rin no budget tlaga kulang kaya di pa kami makapagpakasal ni hubby...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mom_of_Jaeden on July 23, 2013, 05:23:26 pm
di pa sya ready  :( commitment nga di pa sya ready, kasal pa kaya? we've been together for almost 3 years na and we already have a 2 month old baby, pero wala pa ding commitment. Minsan napapaisip na ko kung mahal ba talaga ko ng partner ko.  :'(
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: wendy.ravzz on November 12, 2013, 09:53:15 pm
AWW! :( Sapul ako dito sa topic na toh mga sis.. huhuhu.. magdadalawa na anak namen ngaun ng partner ko. Sya yung 1st BF ko at 1st GF niya din ako.. pero dahil sa bata pa kame nung time na naging kame (im only 14, 16 lang sya) kaya nag break din kame.. nagkabalikan lang kame noong 2010 mga sis at nag live in na kame agad.. Ngayon nasa right age na kame.

Never nameng napag usapan at pinag uusapan ang kasal na yan. :( Madame din kame problema sa relasyon namen kaya siguro baka ayaw naman nyang ikasal kame kahit pa mag dadalawa na ang anak namen ngayon. Ayoko din naman magtanong na, "Gusto mo ba ikasal tayo or Gusto mo ba kong pakasalan?". Kase alam ko naman ang sagot na hindi. Pero natatandaan ko may nabanggit naman sya na may balak naman daw sya kaso syempre financial problem daw madame kelangan unahin etchetera! Hindi ko naman masyado pinansin yung sinabe niya na yun kaya hindi ako sumagot. May mga kaibigan kameng nagtatanung na sakanya ng harapan kaharap din ako kung may balak daw ba syang maikasal kame, Meron naman daw pero halata naman sa mukha niya at sa tono niya na malabo yun.. :( hayy..

Ang saket sakit kaya mga sis! :( habang tina-type ko tong post na toh naiiyak iyak pa ko.. hehe! Sino ba naman ang hindi gustong ikasal sa taong mahal mo at ama ng mga anak mo?! Kahit naman simpleng civil wedding lang ok na saken..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: rein♥mama♥jaden on November 13, 2013, 11:09:30 am
hi mga mommies...
 
kami po 5 years ng nagsasama ng partner ko and we have 2 boys na...dati gustong gusto ko na ikasal kami, but now, parang ayoko na hehe...dati kasi dami nirereason ng partner ko, kesyo wala daw budget and gusto niya mgpakasal when he reach 30 yrs old...may ganun ganun pa syang nalalaman kalalaking hehe....30 yrs old na sya dis coming 2014 pero di ko na inoopen yung tungkol sa kasal...hintayin ko na lang sya na magopen bout dun, parang nakakahiya na lang kasi na ako pa magopen ng about sa kasal tapos mgrereason out na naman sya nung kung ano ano...:)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: GreenLady21 on November 17, 2013, 03:30:47 pm
join dn ako :)

kami dn ni hubby 3years n kming nagsasama & my baby n but still hindi p kami kasal. as of now we're planning n to get married kht civil lang kc wala pang budget pag s Church ;)
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: mommyonsale on November 26, 2013, 08:20:48 am
Noong pinagbubuntis ko first son namin kabilin bilinan ng Ina ng asawa ko wag na wag magpapakasal Sa akin kahit anong pilit ng magulang ko edi ayun ng Dahil Sa Hindi kami nakasal. Puro Plano Lang sya dapat year 2011 Nung November 11,2011 kahit Sa civil lang sana Kaso Nung May 18, 2011 I found out na buntis Ako Sa 2nd child namin. Inuna namin pampaanak ko hanggang sa umalis sya 2012 nag iipon pa din Kaso walang maipon... Hayssss...
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: AnJelatine on January 09, 2014, 10:53:29 am
Money. Happy ako dahil kahit papaano napag-uusapan namen ang kasal :)

Naalala ko nung time na hindi pa namen napag-uusapan ang kasal at nahihiya ako mag open... Nag watch kame ng My Bestfriend's Wedding, yung part na may fireworks doon. Sabe ko, "Woooow! Gandaaaa!" Sabe niya, "Pag-iipunan naten yan ha." Happy ako malaman na may plano siya ;D

Masaya ako kung ano ang meron kame ngayon, alam ko dadating din kame sa stage na finally ikakasal din kame :D Na-eexcite ako everytime naiisip ko yung mararamdaman ko kapag dumating ang panahon na yun. Hihi! ;D

---

Mga Mommies, wag niyo isipin ang iniisip ng ibang tao. Kasal man or hindi, lagi naman may sasabihin ang ibang tao. Haha! ;) Swerte tayo na may Partner tayo na nakakasama sa buhay. Yung iba nga, ni hindi napanindigan yung anak. Samantalang tayo, may katuwang. Diba? :D Dadating din tayo sa kasal. Cheers! :D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: summer1782 on January 14, 2014, 07:00:25 am
Money and dapat ma-feel mo respected ka nang partner mo as a person.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: chukkie13 on February 05, 2014, 02:10:51 pm
mahirap matali kung hindi ka sigurado, ayaw kong gawing dahilan yung bata para magpakasal. gusto ko kilalang kilala ko yung taong pakakasalan ko. mahirap na magsisi
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: ynaffitluane on February 07, 2014, 02:48:56 pm
Hi mommies! 😊

It's so nice to be back after more than a year here sa SP..in our case it's about the budget lang talaga..si hubby kasi is super independent..ayaw na ayaw nyang umaasa sa iba lalo na sa magulang..we've been living together for 3 years now sa family ko..so far so good naman..👍

Nung una hindi kami nagpakasal cause we were both not ready yet and ayaw namin dahil lang nabuntis..though 1 year na kaming bf-gf when I got pregnant..pero habang tumatagal na pala nilalamon ka na ng insecurities mo bout it..lalo na kapag madaming nagtatanong kung bakit hindi pa..well sinasagot naman namin ng totoo! Pero dumating ako sa point na iniiyak ko sya every night kay hubby lalo na nung may mga taong ginagamit sya against me..kung ano ano sinasabi na kesyo I should not call him hubby cause We are not married and I should not call myself a wifre as well..yung mga ganun ba..😢 nakakasama lang ng loob cause it's a relative..now going back to the issue..dumating pa sa point na feeling ko naririndi na si hubby sa akin,so minsan iniiyak ko na lang magisa...i talk to myself and pray to god..

Pero this year, we are planning to have a very simple civil wedding na talagang IL lang and 1 set of witness 😉 we are currently planning on it.. Hopefully mid this year.. 😄
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: zhel1605 on February 17, 2014, 02:07:55 pm
Pajoin din ako :)

 kami rin ng partner ko hindi pa rin married. 2 years na din kaming together and nung malaman namin na preggy ako, gusto niya magpakasal kami kahit civil lang. Pero maraming what if's sa isip ko so tumanggi ako. At syempre gusto ko rin ng memorable ang wedding ko. Ayoko rin magpakasal dahil lang preggy ako. Naiinis din ako dati kasi dami din nagtatanong sakin bout dyan pero deadma lang. Sagot ko na lang "di pa ko ready magpakasal, baka magsisi lang din ako sa huli" hehe. Pero deep inside syempre gusto ko rin kaso andun yung takot.
But ever since hindi na namin napagusapan ang marriage. Gusto ko rin ulit kasi marinig from him e.
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: gheng on May 22, 2014, 10:04:54 am
For us, below are the reason kung bakit hindi pa kami nagpapakasal

1. RELIGION. my husband is INC at ako ay catholic. Hindi naman talaga issue samen un, sa family ko lang. kasi i never wanted him to convert just for the sake of marriage.
2. MONEY. mahal magpaksal period.
3. EARLY GIFT FROM GOD we have 1 yr old daughter when we started living together. its unexpected, pero we accepted it with open heart. of course, our priorities right now is to give her all she needs and for her future
4.MY MOM she liked my husband when mag bf palang kami. kasi when i got pregnant, it all turned. lagi niya kami pinagsasabihan na bata p kami at bka maghiwalay lang kami (dont worry mama, because of REASON #5)
5. MY STRONG BELIEF IN MARRIAGE hindi ko talaga pinangap IKASAL. dati kala ko TOMBOY ako kaya ganun yung paniniwala ko (na hindi naman). i just dont get the idea na ikakasal kayo tpos eventually maghihiwalay din naman kayo.

I often tell my husband na ngayon, I wanted to get married pag matatanda na kami. to show people that we have stand thru the test of time and we have conquered them all. marami ang my ayaw sa husband ko, but for me, respecting my decision on this really make me happy that i choose him.  ;D
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: kawaiimaridel on March 12, 2018, 03:07:53 pm
Im very lucky na hindi ako nakasal sa isang maling tao..
We've been together for 15 years,may plano naman kami magpakasal talaga but still hindi natutuloy and ipinagpapasalamat ko yun,akala ko kilalang kilala ko na siya dahil sa tagal ng pagsasama namin at nagkaroon pa kami ng 2 anak.pero nagkamali ako...
buti na lang hindi talaga ako nakasal sa tao na akala ko nung una ay may paninindigan sa pamilya,may pangarap at pagmamahal..but nagkamali ako...buti na lang talaga..
Title: Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
Post by: Cee Villania on March 07, 2019, 10:33:04 pm
Hi fellas. Pa join ako,
Bago ko makita ang blog na to, Tinype ko sa google yung sentence na “nakapetition ako ng 10yrs, kelan ako magpapakasal” then lumabas ito sa searched items, kaya nag registr at nag sulat dn ako dto...
Nasa punto na ako ng buhay ko ngayon na hindi ko na alam kung ano ang pipiliin ko. Career ba o lovelife na tipong puwede na bumuo ng pamilya...

I’m 27yrs old, single with a 11yrs relationship with my boyfie, and were finally engaged narin this february lang.

Naisip ko narn naman na magppropose narn sya this yr kasi mag wwork na ako sa ibang bansa ng 2yrs as nurse, contract based kaya matagal tagal dn kaming hnd magkkita

I told my mom who resides in US about engagement kaso mjo hindi niya nagustuhan kahit alam niya ng matagal na kaming mag on, takot sya na ikasal ako agad kasi pinrocess niya ang petition ko last yr lang na maaprubahan pa after 10 yrs :(

Ayaw niya ikasal kami but it doesn’t mean na ayaw niya kay bf, she’s just after the marriage papers.

Nung una wala naman akong complain dun kasi ang mother ko 10yrs na mula nung nsa US sya ay talagang naghhnap sya ng paraan pra mapetitionan ako, kaso last yr lang dn kasi sya naging citizen dun kaya dun lang dn niya ako official na naprocessan ng petition, at alam ko naman ang hirap na dinanas niya makuha lang ako...

ang hirap lang kasi dahil alam naman natin mga babae na may mga timeline ang matres naten, sinabi ko sa mom ko na kung concern niya ay ang marriage documents, edi mag aanak nalang ako, hnd ko na mahhintay yung 10yrs ng approval ng petition niya, ano to? 37yr old palang ako puwede magpabuntis?

sa pamilya kasi namin na puro mattnda, uso parin yung wag muna mag aanak kung hnd kapa kinakasal, kaya i am trying na sumunod sa kanila kasi un ang gusto nila pra sakin.
but the worst part is that my mom suggest na mag go nalang kami ng garden wedding but don't registr it on cityhall, ganyan na ganyan yung pagkakasabi niya technically "fake wedding" pra daw hnd naman daw pangit sa tingin ng ibang tao na basta2 nalang ako nabuntis ng hnd man lang ako kinakasal..

I opened it to my fiancee, pero binalik niya lang sakin yung tanong, “ano ba talaga ang gusto mo? Depende yan kng ano mgging desisyon mo.”
Na kung maghhntay ako maaprove ang petition ko after 10yrs, i ssacrifice ko ba ang marriage namin na dapat na sa edad na to, o icconsider ko ba yung maghintay sa petition ng mother ko bago kami tuluyang magpakasal?

Hindi rin naman kasi yun ang nagpapa kumplikado sakin ngaun, since mag nnurse na ako sa middle east, after 2yrs contract gusto ng nanay ko na mag cross country na ako at i pursue ko yung career ko, that means to say na aftr 2yrs hnd ko parin ba ppwedeng desisyunan yung buhay q na umuwi nalang ng pinas at mag proceed na to plan having a baby? To make a family? Kasi plano ko sana pag uwi ko ng pinas balik call center nalang ako ult pra makasama ko sa work yung fiancee ko tas mag live in na kami at gmawa ng pamilya.. but the problem is, somehow at the back of my mind, I want to consider to be practical, na kng may opportunity sa ibang bansa bkit hnd i grab which is that, kung puwede kong i tuloy ang pgging nurse ko sa ibang bansa, bakit hnd? Maganda ang sahod ng mga nurses kahit sang bansa, except lang talaga sa pinas.

Pero  tuluyan ko na bang i ffocus yung buhay ko sa career? Sa pag iipon? Pano yung fiancee ko, pano yung buhay namin dlawa, gaano katagal kami hnd magkakasama? Haaays... :’(
Hnd ko na alam ang mangyyari saken, and hnd ko rin alam kng may mag rreply pa sa msg kong to kasi alam ko sa facebook na mahilig mag browse lahat ng tao, pero kng meron lang sana kayong pdeng i advice sakin sobrang salamat po. At psnsya na kayo kng mjo nagguluhan kayo sa storya ko hnd lang talaga ako good in writing, this is my first online kwento ng buhay ko. Pro salamat parin sa pagbabasa.