Parent Chat

Parenting => Real Parenting => Topic started by: mamalev on December 31, 2008, 10:07:32 am

Title: child who hits others
Post by: mamalev on December 31, 2008, 10:07:32 am
hi moms out there!!! i'm a new member and been reading other posts and i must say people here are so helpful. so i'm wondering if any1 can help me with my little boy. he hits his cousins basta lumapit lang or even yung magkalayo sila lalapit pa sya para lang hampasin ang mga pinsan niya. wala syang pakialam kahit mas matanda sa kanya or mas bata. akala ko he's just like that to his cousins kc jealous but no kahit sa ibang bata ganun din siya. alam ko kung kanino niya nakuha ang ganung style sa isa nyang pinsan but how do i teach him not to hit others now that he's into that habit na. nalolokah ako sa kanya i've told him gazillion times na it's bad. tried keeping him away from the others once he hits one of them. tried locking ourselves up in our room na kami lang para madala at ako lang ang kalaro niya when he hears the others na happily naglalaro outside. wa epek pa rin, he'll promise not to hit anybody again but once he's out ayun parang nakawala sa koral. please help... :'(

Mod's note:
Pulling Hair! Hitting! What to Do When Your Child Hurts Another Kid
(https://images.summitmedia-digital.com/smartpar/images/2017/04/17/170417-prnt2-A2.jpg)
Read it on Smart Parenting. Click this link:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/preschooler/what-to-do-when-your-child-hits-other-kids-a1162-20170418

Post a question about this topic or share your experience.
Login (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/login) or register (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/registration) to join this and other discussions! Members get a downloadable freebie (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/registration) upon registration or membership update.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: mommy_angel on January 03, 2009, 01:48:27 am
hi momskie, may pinsan ako ganyan din yung prob. nananakit siya, kahit father niya lumalaban siya. and bugbog sarado yung yaya niya. nung pina check nila, may problem ata sa bata. hindi ko lang alam kung ano yun. tapos may nireseta na gamot. hindi siya yung sakit na "Hyper" ha, iba yun... pero hanggang ngayun ganon parin siya, kinakagat niya mga classmate niya..

Siguro maganda ipa check mo narin siya, baka may something na attention siyang hinahanap kaya ganon... ;)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: kalix on January 03, 2009, 02:47:31 pm

hi moms out there!!! i'm a new member and been reading other posts and i must say people here are so helpful. so i'm wondering if any1 can help me with my little boy. he hits his cousins basta lumapit lang or even yung magkalayo sila lalapit pa sya para lang hampasin ang mga pinsan niya. wala syang pakialam kahit mas matanda sa kanya or mas bata. akala ko he's just like that to his cousins kc jealous but no kahit sa ibang bata ganun din siya. alam ko kung kanino niya nakuha ang ganung style sa isa nyang pinsan but how do i teach him not to hit others now that he's into that habit na. nalolokah ako sa kanya i've told him gazillion times na it's bad. tried keeping him away from the others once he hits one of them. tried locking ourselves up in our room na kami lang para madala at ako lang ang kalaro niya when he hears the others na happily naglalaro outside. wa epek pa rin, he'll promise not to hit anybody again but once he's out ayun parang nakawala sa koral. please help... :'(

how old is your son mamalev? :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: mamalev on January 04, 2009, 11:32:45 am
hi d ko pnapacheck sa devt pedia ang river ko kc isipin na naman ni hubby oa na naman ako pagdating sa only child ko. btw he's 2.6 y/o and most of my friends who have kids say na it's because of his age talaga but i don't know how to handle it kc parang masaya sya gnagawa niya kc paulit ulit kahit na pinagpromise ko na siya na wag uulitin kc bad yun. :(
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: doreenpfft on January 04, 2009, 12:24:41 pm
i think magiging dilemma ko din ito sa baby ko... she's barely 1 year old, pero ang kamay sobrang bigat, nanapak, nangungurot! Even us her parents, gingawa niya yun.. Kaya nga minsan whens shes outside playing with other kids sinasabihan na namin yung yaya na huwag masyadong ipalapit sa daughter ko baka masapak... dapat na ba akong ma-alarm?
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: kalix on January 07, 2009, 10:28:36 am
one trick is to divert his attention. then explain kung anong gamit ng kamay. at hindi ginagamit ang hands to hurt other people.  effective sa son ko pero he rarely do it naman before. that's what we do sa nephew ko ngayon. ipapakita ko yung hands ko at kung anong magagawa o gamit ng hands. nagpi play din kami ng parang puppet, "talking hands" kunwari. he is amazed actually. & everytime na mananakit sya. hold namin yung hand niya tapos sasabihin namin "apir" or "high five". then tatawa na sya. wala na yung urge na manakit sya. yes it's normal for them to hit kasi they can't express their feelings yet. just be consistent sa pagreremind & diverting his attention. :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: mamalev on January 07, 2009, 02:02:48 pm
promise sis i'll try that any suggestion is sooo welcome to me kasi ang bata ganyan eh iba-ibang style nyan sa pagdidiscipline what i thought worked for us when we were kids obviously didn't work with my bebe. iba na ang generation ngaun my mom would say isang sutsut lang daw niya behave na kami sa mga apo niya ngaun sumutsut siya kundi siya pinagtawanan ng mga yun hahaha. my mom and dad were here a few months back nagvacation sila they got a taste of what we were experiencing with our kids napapailing na lang sila. ;)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: yummymommy on January 07, 2009, 03:50:30 pm
one trick is to divert his attention. then explain kung anong gamit ng kamay. at hindi ginagamit ang hands to hurt other people.  effective sa son ko pero he rarely do it naman before. that's what we do sa nephew ko ngayon. ipapakita ko yung hands ko at kung anong magagawa o gamit ng hands. nagpi play din kami ng parang puppet, "talking hands" kunwari. he is amazed actually. & everytime na mananakit sya. hold namin yung hand niya tapos sasabihin namin "apir" or "high five". then tatawa na sya. wala na yung urge na manakit sya. yes it's normal for them to hit kasi they can't express their feelings yet. just be consistent sa pagreremind & diverting his attention. :)

sis kalix, i'm gonna try this too, buti na bring up ito ng isang mommy, problema ko din to kay zoe eh.. :(
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: andrew610 on January 07, 2009, 04:03:34 pm
nakarelate ako bigla sa topic na to ha! hehe.. ganyan din anak ko pag may ibang bata.. nangungurot sya o kaya nananabunot. kaya pag may ibang kids around.. lagi ko sinasabi sa yaya bantayan kasi baka pati ko mapaaway. hehe.. 
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: kalix on January 07, 2009, 05:38:44 pm
true. every child is unique. there are diff'rent ways of disciplining our child. it may work to others but to some they do not. that's why it's important to be observant when it comes to our child/children's behaviour and interests. like for example, my nephews & one niece. my nephew 1 likes sounds. so ginagamit namin yan sa kanya  to distract or divert his attention. binibigyan namin sya ng bote ng mineral water para pisil pisilin niya para mag create ng sound. my nephew 2 naman loves cars. so yun din pang distract namin(aside don sa nabanggit kong trick "talking hand"). sa niece ko naman she likes music. so pag nakarinig sya ng music nada divert attention din niya. namemelow yung temper niya. sa son ko naman he loves books, pictures & animals. we can be creative at samantalahin yung mga gusto nila para ma tame natin ang behaviour nila. & also dapat ina acknowledge din natin yung mga good behaviours nila. may hug or kiss pag good boy/girl sila. :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: julianciv on January 08, 2009, 09:08:53 am
hi mommies!
 my 16 months old baby , nananampal at nangungurot din, lalo na pag hindi nasunod yung gusto niya. pagsinasabihan ko siya na "bad yan baby", iki-kiss na niya ako, yun ang panlaban niya kaya yun, matatawa na lang ako...  :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: yummymommy on January 08, 2009, 02:36:25 pm
true. every child is unique. there are diff'rent ways of disciplining our child. it may work to others but to some they do not. that's why it's important to be observant when it comes to our child/children's behaviour and interests. like for example, my nephews & one niece. my nephew 1 likes sounds. so ginagamit namin yan sa kanya  to distract or divert his attention. binibigyan namin sya ng bote ng mineral water para pisil pisilin niya para mag create ng sound. my nephew 2 naman loves cars. so yun din pang distract namin(aside don sa nabanggit kong trick "talking hand"). sa niece ko naman she likes music. so pag nakarinig sya ng music nada divert attention din niya. namemelow yung temper niya. sa son ko naman he loves books, pictures & animals. we can be creative at samantalahin yung mga gusto nila para ma tame natin ang behaviour nila. & also dapat ina acknowledge din natin yung mga good behaviours nila. may hug or kiss pag good boy/girl sila. :)

hay nako sis kalix thanks so much for these ideas, siguro kaya ganun ka sweetie si yuan mo :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: kalix on January 09, 2009, 09:42:18 am
true. every child is unique. there are diff'rent ways of disciplining our child. it may work to others but to some they do not. that's why it's important to be observant when it comes to our child/children's behaviour and interests. like for example, my nephews & one niece. my nephew 1 likes sounds. so ginagamit namin yan sa kanya  to distract or divert his attention. binibigyan namin sya ng bote ng mineral water para pisil pisilin niya para mag create ng sound. my nephew 2 naman loves cars. so yun din pang distract namin(aside don sa nabanggit kong trick "talking hand"). sa niece ko naman she likes music. so pag nakarinig sya ng music nada divert attention din niya. namemelow yung temper niya. sa son ko naman he loves books, pictures & animals. we can be creative at samantalahin yung mga gusto nila para ma tame natin ang behaviour nila. & also dapat ina acknowledge din natin yung mga good behaviours nila. may hug or kiss pag good boy/girl sila. :)

hay nako sis kalix thanks so much for these ideas, siguro kaya ganun ka sweetie si yuan mo :)

welcome sis :) sana hanggang paglaki nila sweet pa rin sila.hehe!
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: grancky on January 27, 2009, 12:09:48 pm
hi! newbie here...im the step mom of a little boy (2yrs and 4mos old), we dont live together yet but we see each other often. problem lang ng husband ko lately kasi natututo sya manuntok or manakit ng iba. before lumalaban lang sya sa daddy niya pero yesterday nagreresign yung yaya kasi bukod sa sobrang makulit, sinasaktan na rin sya. we're thinking of putting him sa mga playschool but will it help? fear ko lang baka sa school naman sya manakit. we're also trying our best to be patient in explaining and bonding with him mas frequent na pero it seems walang changes sa ugali niya instead lumalala. saan din sya pwede pa-check? pls help, thanks!
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: mommy lana on January 27, 2009, 04:38:21 pm
yung son ko naman 3yrs old, hindi sya marunong manakit. e mtaba sya so yun tummy niya lagi pinapalo ng ibang bata, or kinukurot sya, hindi sya nagrereact, sasabihin lang niya "mommy im hurt". kinuwento ko nga sa daddy niya, sabi turuan na daw namin gumanti :D tinuruan ng mom ko, pero shes telling him na pag lang may umway sa kanya saka lang sya gaganti, (katwiran  ng daddy niya ok lang kasi defense lang daw at boy ang anak niya :D ) kaya lang nung natutuo na, bigla-bigla na lang manununtok at mamamalo. pero sa min lang, sa ibang bata deadma pa rin sya
Title: I badly need help.. Si baby super maldita!! :(
Post by: xhelsea on September 08, 2011, 03:49:01 am
My daughter is 15 months old pero super maldita na niya.. Pag nainis siya mangungurot siya or nang s-spank, minsan pati kami ng daddy niya pinapalo niya, minsan sampal pa nga yung tipong masakit talaga. At first pagsasabihan ko siya pero pag inulit pa ng inulit pinapalo ko na hands niya then I talked to her, tapos maglalambing na siya pag ok na ulit gagawin nanaman niya. Ayaw na ayaw niya din papahawakan sa iba gamit niya nagagalit siya, ayaw niya din na papagalitan or mapapahiya siya in public, magwawala talaga siya at iiyak pag ginawa 'yon sakanya. And I must admit she loves everybodys' attention so much, super spoiled na nga siya kasi siya lang naman baby dito samin. One time pa hindi lang pala twice na niya ginawa, may stranger na lumapit sa'min asking for some money or food ang ginawa niya tumawa siya, nakatakip yung kamay sa bibig with matching halakhak ng kontrabida. As in pang evil laugh!  ::) Yung parang nanlalait?Imagine that 15months old pano niya 'yon nalaman? san niya natutunan.Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung pano siya natuto mangurot or manakit, eh hands on naman ako sakanya pero minsan hinhitam din siya ng MIL ko, so imposible talaga na nagaya lang niya 'yon. Haay..

By the way medyo advance din kasi si baby kahit once lang niya makita basta nag stare sya sa'yo ng matagal kaya na niyang gayahin agad. At 15months kaya na niya mag count 1-5, could say A,B,C,D, knows her body parts (eyes,ears,nose,tongue,mouth,head,hair,hands,shoulders,feet,& toes), she could point animals on the books and she knows their sounds like lion,cat,snake,monkey,lizard,dog etc., nagb-bless pag walang toyo, and believe it or not nauutusan ko na rin siya alam niya magtapon ng kalat sa trash can, magwalis pero yung parang nagp-play lang, she also helps me everytime I fix our bed, before siya umupo or humiga gusto niya pinapagpagan muna niya.

May connect ba yung pagiging advance niya sa pagiging super maldita niya? Nakaka bother na kasi eh, minsan niloloko pa ko ni hubby na nagmana lang daw 'yon sa'kin kaya wag na ko magtaka. Aminado ko may pagkamaldita ako but I'm not showing it infront of her especially, kasi alam ko na baka gayahin niya. Besides hindi naman ako ganun kamaldita kagaya niya noon pa siguro nung dalaga. Haay.. help mga sis.. Hindi ko na talaga alam gagawin ko sakanya..  :( Sorry kung mahaba. TIA!!
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: toughmom moderator on September 08, 2011, 07:48:40 am
Same topic merged
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Twix on September 08, 2011, 01:19:09 pm
Maybe once na makita mo na ginawa niya anything bad, pagsabihan mo kaagad. Once kasi na ginawa niya at wlang nagsabi sa kanya na mali gagawin niya uli, lalo na kng tatawa ka or anyone sa paligid niya, feeling niya happy kyo na ginawa niya un. Possible din na sa mga nakikita niya sa tv etc akala nila ok lang. They are imitators at this age. Dito na dapat papasok ang discipline, kasi nga naging habit na niya. Ako i do a timout sa 4year old ko. Pinapaface ko sa wall, sabi nila 1min for evrry age. Then after i explain to him why i did that. Possible din sis na its a phase lang, kasi ang little boy ko medyo ganyan din dati. Pinagsasabihan ko lang lagi, at binibigyan ng tumeout if di nakinig. Hopefully mwala din in time ang sa baby mo :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: xhelsea on September 08, 2011, 02:30:04 pm
@sis joydyu: Ganun na nga ginagawa ko sis lagi ko siaya kinaka usap pag ginagawa niya 'yon. Dati din kasi sis tinatawanan pa nga sya ng mga in-laws ko kaya akala niya siguro tama 'yon, then sinabihan ko sila na wag tatawanan pero ganun pa rin siya.. Super maldita! But hopefully phase nga lang sana 'to.. kung hindi lagi kami mapapaaway..  :( Thanks sa reply sis.. :))
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Twix on September 08, 2011, 10:12:34 pm
@xhelsea.. Lahat siguro tayo makakaranas ng pakikipagaway for our children. Nung isang araw lang sabi ng teacher nasuntok niya sa tyan yung classmate niya, at siya naman nasuntok sa dibdib. We dont know kng accidebt lang, kasi alam mo naman ang mga lalaki at this age malilikot. Posible na they are just playing. Nothing bad happened naman, so wala ako nakaaway na nanay hahaha. Minsan din pla sis nagpapapansin lang ang mga ganyang age 2-3years old. Chaacteristic nila yan. Lets just jope it will pass soon :)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: cheena on September 19, 2011, 03:01:05 pm
malaki tlaga ang effect ng mga nakikita ng bata sa paligid niya, my son was like that, when he was 1 yr old sya yung laging pinapalo ng pinsan ko na ka age din niya, then nung mag 2 sya, sya na yung namamalo naman sa younger cousin niya, pero now hindi na sya namamalo, yung cousin na niya namamalo sa kanya, as in lalapit pa lang sya sa pinsan niya papalo agad or kakagatin sya, pero hindi sya lumalaban, basta na out grow nalang niya yung pamamalo. kahit pinapalo namin sya pag may mali sya ginawa hindi sya lumalaban, yun nga lang sasabihan niya kami ng 'bad ka' lalo na paggalit sya, never ko naman sya sinabihan ng bad, naririnig lang niya yan sa pinsan ko..

pansin ko lang what ever bad things na gawin or sabihin natin sa mga bata yun din yung ginagawa nila kaya dapat careful tayo sa mga kilos natin..
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: ainge88 on September 24, 2011, 11:47:50 am
Thanks for the advices here! Matry nga sa son ko na 15mos na. Super grabe na kasi mang gaya and I found out na sakin niya natutunan! Huhu kasi pag nagbibiruan kami ng daddy niya, nahahampas ko si hubby, yung playful banter ba. Napansin ko pag nagbibiro si baby ganun na rin ginagawa niya :( grrr. I should've known! Hay. Tapos ayoko rin yung ginagawa ng yaya, na kunware masasaktan siya ng isang bagay tapos papaluin nung yaya yung bagay sasabihin bad, so pag sinasaway namin, lalapit siya tapos papaluin kami sasabihan kami bad. Hay. Ang bilis nila pumick-up. Nakakastress tuloy. Tapos yung tatay ko ganun laro nila ni baby, kunware hindi nakatingin si lolo tapos hahampasin siya ni baby, magugulat si lolo, tatawa silang dalawa, so minsan ganun ang ineexpect niya, lalapit sa tao tapos manghahampas tapos sabay tawa. Argh. I don't know if I can control everything around him! Kakastress talaga. 
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: swtgrl_bee on October 09, 2011, 04:41:09 am
Pangit nga pala yung old school na pagpalo let's say nadapa si baby sa floor then papaluin ang floor sasabihin bad. Mga one month na naming tinigil yung nawala naman, but since nagkasakit anak ko ng almost one week. Grabe yung nangyari siguro sama na din ng pakiramdam niya bumalik na naman yung pamamalo niya. Pero sa amin lang na family niya, thank God at hindi naman sa mga kalaro niya.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: momofrainchira on October 10, 2011, 11:08:42 pm
OA talaga ang mga mommies... its because we only want the best for our children...kaya ok lang maging OA...

dumaan din kame sa stage na ganyan sa panganay ko...iyon naman time na yun ginagaya niya nug napapnood niya sa darna noon...dumating pa sa point na halos napaaway na ako sa isang makitid na utak na nanay...
so what i did ,i slap her hand...then ask ko kung masakit?...sagot sya "yes mom" so sabi ko nasasaktan din yung playmate niya,kapag nasasaktan its not fun anymore...stop kame sa DARNa
also monitor ko din talaga kung gagawin niya ulit naka bantay ako as in,inuunahan ko na sya kapag nakita kong naka porma na sya or palapit na,tsaka notice din anmin tagapag tanggol sya kapag may batang umiiyak kahit nanay pa yung nagpaiyak papagalitan niya din,minsan naman nanggigil sya ...kase hindi naman marunong kids mag expres ng feelings nila ng tama,kailangan talaga may guidance..

wag ka mag sawa mag paliwanag..wag mo sya ikulong sa house need niya talaga yang makisalamuha sa ibang bata...yan payo sakin ng dev ped...kase nung unang days anak ko sa school lagi nalang may kaaway yun pala binubully sya ,kase yung ibang clasmate niya hindi kase sya maintindihan kung bakit over sya mag express ng katuwaan... as in anak ko kase kahit hindi kilala babatiin niya...tas lalapit yayakap pa,yung ibang kids ayaw nun tinutulak sya so gaganti sya...minsan na overwhelm lang yung bata and akala niya tama yung pag express niya...basta everytime na papagalitan dapat may kasamang paliwanag...also be a habit of saying sorry tsaka tahnk you...yan daw mga kind words na dapat unang matutunan ni baby...
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: swtgrl_bee on October 11, 2011, 01:45:20 am
^tama sis WAG NA WAG magsawa magpaliwanag ganyan ginagawa ko :) mabait naman anak ko sa labas, kahit nga kunin ng isang baby yung stuff toy niya sa ballet class niya cool lang. Kami lang kaya niya, dito sa bahay.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: banet1029 on February 10, 2012, 11:51:23 pm
dear mommies;
hello..i just wanted to ask ., what if your child is the one being bullied., what will you do?thanks
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: smart.momi on February 14, 2012, 04:57:44 pm
sis banet1029, alam ko naipasa na ang law for kids being bullied. you may check it :)

same thing for my baby, but i will definitely try all your tips. hope it will work out for my baby:)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: mishyla on February 14, 2012, 11:33:24 pm
I can somewhat relate to this but not my baby's case. my baby is already 2.6 years old, (girl) and her nephew (baby ng pamangkin ng hubby ko) is 2 years old (boy). We lived in one roof but separate doors.. so more on parang units. We went to their house coz they were having party, (saturday) the boy kid spank my baby in the back because he don't want to lend his toys. so ako shocked kasi no one ever did that to my baby, as in kahit ako, i never hit my baby para lang pagsabihan kung may nagawang mali, i always explain to her if she did something wrong or not nice. So yung baby ko hindi gumanti kasi ganun siya naturuan. then next day came (sunday) may handaan na naman sa kanila, so we went again (kasi tinawag kami , andun din kasi MIL ko) then there it goes again, pinalo na naman yung baby ko, ng wala siyang ginagawa or hindi niya naman kinuha yung toys , she's just standing there. so ako sabi ko sa bata (boy). bad yun, dapat hindi ka namamalo., tumawa lang.

nakakainis yung feeling pero sinabihan ko na lang yung parents niya ( since pamangkin naman namin) na dapat pagsabihan, ang sabi ng nanay pinapalo daw kasi nila pag may ginagawang mali or nakikita daw kasi pag nagaaway yung mga teenagers na tita at tito..so i guess nasa paligid din talaga , na-adapt ng bata. and tama din yung ibang mommies, somehow, sa napapanood sa tv kaya nga PG e..so case to case basis siguro din.

i'm super glad lang that my baby is not like that. To all mommies, huwag lang magsawang pagsabihan, paulit ulit lang talaga.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Errych on June 21, 2012, 04:21:56 pm
What factors bring about this behavior, and how can we parents correct them?
Kids Hurting Others: How to Deal with our Children’s Hurtful Behavior
(http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/4535/pullhairweb.jpg)
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/kids-hurting-others-how-to-deal-with-our-children-s-hurtful-behavior
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: mamacyd on June 22, 2012, 09:48:21 am
my 13 month old baby boy is a bully to his cousin of same age. Grabe everytime nakikita niya lalapitan niya then ippoke sa mata. minsan papaluin sa braso. hehe... nagtataka lang ako bakit sa ibang kalaro niya na baby d naman sya ganun.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: 2gud4u on June 23, 2012, 05:29:04 pm
ganyan din yung pamangkin ko noon nung mga 2 years old pa lang sya, pag d niya feel yung bata na kaharap niya sinasaktan niya talaga may instances pa noon yung inaanak ni kuya na babae kasing edad niya rin yata or 1 year ahead sa kanya naglalakad lang tapos bigla niya kinalabit pagharap nung bata sinuntok niya sa mukha then 1 time naman nilamutak niya yung bibig. sinasabihan lang ni kuya ng maayos na masama yung ganun then nung nag 3 na sya nagstart na sya pumasok sa school akala namin magiging prob sya sa class kasi baka maging bayolente, so far hindi naman, natapos niya ang nursery ng wala syang sinaktan na classmate niya. lumilipas din sa mga bata yung ganyan as long as hindi niya nakikita sa mga parents niya ang pagiging bayolente habang lumalaki sya.

Title: Pre schoolers behaviorial problem
Post by: vhenggaman on July 13, 2013, 02:40:48 pm
Dear Mommies,
I am so in distress right now dealing with my 4.8-year old son. I enrolled him on Day Care Center. The first two and a half weeks was kinda ok. But this week (from monday to friday), I found him very difficult to manage. Worse part is, he was hurting his classmates without any reason, everyday with different classmates. I was called by teacher everyday, and there was particular day that I was being called for four times.

I talked to parents of the children to apologize, and though I know I was forgiven, still their anger is there against my son and I. I can not blame them, and I know I can not be able to always justify "bata lang yan eh". I am feeling my and my son's world at day care is getting smaller. And I ask myself 'til when my son be like this? I asked the teacher if I can go around the room so I can be able to monitor my son. But she said, "Bawal po". Then she said, she will going to call me in case he hurt someone again. Then a follow-up warning that states "Ipatatawag ko nalang kayo kapag may nagreklamong mga magulang."... Knowing this statement like a threat, and I feel like discriminated.

Last summer I enrolled him in summer class for five weeks in montessori. And during his stay on that school, I never heard any news of quarrel from the teachers. Til he entered the day care center with less than a month of getting into trouble.

He was starting to say "ma, ayoko kay teacher (name of day care teacher), gusto ko kay teacher (name of montessori teacher)!" And I asked why, sabi niya "kasi pangit ang bahay (meant for school).

Inside the house, he's ok naman, makulit at malikot. When he's too much, we discipline him by words or by palo sometimes when words are not enough.

Of course, last escape is the word "ADHD", but I am widely open to the idea.

Please advice me mommies! Thank you!
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Mommy Jazz on July 13, 2013, 02:52:43 pm
Topic "Pre-schoolers Behavioral Problems" merged with this topic.

Related topics:

problem child. (long post)
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parentchat/index.php/topic,53889

how to handle "super kulit" kid??
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parentchat/index.php/topic,54404

help! My toddler is misbehaving in school :(
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parentchat/index.php/topic,49371
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: jannabanana on July 15, 2013, 09:32:36 am
baby ko din 14 months old may pagkamaldita.. pag binawalan mo papagalitan ka pa.. minsan maggoodnight lang lola niya hahampasin na agad.. sinasabihan ko nalang siya na bad yun and magagalit si papa jesus.. kagabi malayo lola niya nag goodnight sa kanya hindi niya mapalo kaya ako pinalo niya saka kinurot grabe talaga.. sana mawala na tong bisyo niya at bumait na siya..
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: xianne on July 15, 2013, 10:49:08 am
ganyan din ang baby boy ko 18 months old na siya.. pag sinusuway siya ng  dad niya kunwari pagagalitan siya, pinapalo niya ako tapos tapos pag di ko siya pinapansin papaluin niya lang ako ng papaluin tapos iiyak siya.. hehe.. minsan yung yaya niya cnasampal niya din... ganyan yata talaga sis? minsan niloloko ko c baby kunwari iiyak ako, tapos titigil siya ihuhug niya ako..
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Mommy Jazz on July 15, 2013, 02:43:48 pm
@vhenggaman
Yung story po ninyo hindi naman masyadong naiiba sa stories ng ibang mommies dito. I read the other thread about ADHD and seems na pati sa bahay uncontollable ang behavior ng anak nila. Pero sabi niyo OK naman siya sa house pati sa dating school niya. Is your child misbehaving to get attention? Hyperactive ba siya, like "over" ang reaction at likot na parang hindi napapagod and would even respond in violent ways? If both answer is yes, then read other moms' share on their kids with ADHD here:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parentchat/index.php/topic,52747.0.html (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parentchat/index.php/topic,52747.0.html)
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: KVsmommy on August 01, 2013, 05:51:36 pm
vhenggaman: my daughter used to go to daycare (government)... pero hindi din kami nagtagal. :( We put her in daycare last year, she just turned three and we wanted to test the waters if she can do schooling na on a daily basis - ayun, nung first few days ok sya, happy to go to school naman. Habang tumatagal, nakikita kong umaayaw sya pumasok. Pag-uwi, nakasimangot sya. Umabot sa point na sasabihin niya masakit tummy niya or sleepy pa sya at ayaw niya pumasok. We thought it was very unlike her really, kasi when she did summer classes, that same year din, she was very enthusiastic to go to school, and she looked forward to it every day for the entire month that she went to summer school. Tapos nung nagday-care, biglang nawalan ng gana.

I'm thinking of three possible factors:
1. The classroom was malinis, maayos, and airconditioned --- but it was small. Children like space. Mine is used to having a lot of space to move around in dahil only child sya, and even dun sa summer class niya, they were only 10. So for her, space and maaliwalas na environment seemed very important.

2. There were more than 20 of them in that small classroom. It must have been very overwhelming to be in a cramped space with kids she didn't know. Plus the 'pressure' pa of doing school stuff, and she just turned three then. And I'm thinking hindi niya masyadong makasundo yung kids dun because they were a bit rowdy, and my daughter is tahimik and mild-mannered, to the point of being shy. She's more comfortable around kids na hindi masyado makulit or malikot.

3. The teacher. Though I know she's very much equipped and experienced to handle preschoolers, I'm not quite sure if she was well-adjusted to the fact that she now has three year-olds along with four year-olds in one class. Kahit kasi sabihin nating isang taon lang ang pagitan nila, ang laki ng difference ng behavior nila and learning pace. I think she was more used to handling 4-5 year olds (which was the usual age people sent kids to school just a few years ago).

So even if your son is a different age than mine when it happened, posible din na these three factors are affecting your child's behavior, especially the first two. Kasi sabi mo dun sa montessori setting, comfortable and well-adjusted naman sya kasi no complaints naman from the teacher. Pero you might also want to look at how you discipline your kid, pag pinagsasabihan ba, napaninindigan? Or there are times na you give in pag umiiyak na? You really have to be firm with kids nowadays, otherwise, hindi talga mag-sink in yung pagdisiplina. Masakit makita silang umiiyak, pero if they have to cry it out for them to understand the lesson you're teaching, then so be it - well at least that's my opinion. :) Iba-iba nga din naman ang mga bata, pero I think the need to have a firm hand in disciplining really applies to all (even sa adults! :D)

Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: toughmom moderator on September 07, 2013, 01:55:37 am
Dads Working Overtime More Likely to Have Aggressive Sons, says Study
fathers who work over 55 hours a week are more inclined to have sons exhibiting aggressive and delinquent behavior.
(http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/images/site-alpha/articles/news/workaholic_dads_linked_to_sons_aggressive_behavior/tired-man-office-530.jpg)
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/community/news/dads-working-overtime-more-likely-to-have-aggressive-sons-says-study
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: vhenggaman on April 03, 2014, 02:56:22 pm
vhenggaman: my daughter used to go to daycare (government)... pero hindi din kami nagtagal. :( We put her in daycare last year, she just turned three and we wanted to test the waters if she can do schooling na on a daily basis - ayun, nung first few days ok sya, happy to go to school naman. Habang tumatagal, nakikita kong umaayaw sya pumasok. Pag-uwi, nakasimangot sya. Umabot sa point na sasabihin niya masakit tummy niya or sleepy pa sya at ayaw niya pumasok. We thought it was very unlike her really, kasi when she did summer classes, that same year din, she was very enthusiastic to go to school, and she looked forward to it every day for the entire month that she went to summer school. Tapos nung nagday-care, biglang nawalan ng gana.

I'm thinking of three possible factors:
1. The classroom was malinis, maayos, and airconditioned --- but it was small. Children like space. Mine is used to having a lot of space to move around in dahil only child sya, and even dun sa summer class niya, they were only 10. So for her, space and maaliwalas na environment seemed very important.

2. There were more than 20 of them in that small classroom. It must have been very overwhelming to be in a cramped space with kids she didn't know. Plus the 'pressure' pa of doing school stuff, and she just turned three then. And I'm thinking hindi niya masyadong makasundo yung kids dun because they were a bit rowdy, and my daughter is tahimik and mild-mannered, to the point of being shy. She's more comfortable around kids na hindi masyado makulit or malikot.

3. The teacher. Though I know she's very much equipped and experienced to handle preschoolers, I'm not quite sure if she was well-adjusted to the fact that she now has three year-olds along with four year-olds in one class. Kahit kasi sabihin nating isang taon lang ang pagitan nila, ang laki ng difference ng behavior nila and learning pace. I think she was more used to handling 4-5 year olds (which was the usual age people sent kids to school just a few years ago).

So even if your son is a different age than mine when it happened, posible din na these three factors are affecting your child's behavior, especially the first two. Kasi sabi mo dun sa montessori setting, comfortable and well-adjusted naman sya kasi no complaints naman from the teacher. Pero you might also want to look at how you discipline your kid, pag pinagsasabihan ba, napaninindigan? Or there are times na you give in pag umiiyak na? You really have to be firm with kids nowadays, otherwise, hindi talga mag-sink in yung pagdisiplina. Masakit makita silang umiiyak, pero if they have to cry it out for them to understand the lesson you're teaching, then so be it - well at least that's my opinion. :) Iba-iba nga din naman ang mga bata, pero I think the need to have a firm hand in disciplining really applies to all (even sa adults! :D)

Yes, tama ka sis! It was the environment. That's why I transferred him in remoted school. He was late enrollee, and they were just 13 students only in the class. He was fine there. So I finally concluded it was the environment that he didn't like in day car. Too far if I will compare it to the montessori he went during summer class last year.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Mommy Jazz on May 05, 2014, 10:17:08 pm
Topic "toddler who hit Mom,yaya & lola.." merged with this topic.
Title: Re: child who hits others
Post by: Mommy Jazz on September 19, 2017, 04:25:55 pm
How to Get Your Toddler to Stop Hitting You When He Has a Tantrum
(http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/images/2017/09/15/170915-tdd-A2.jpg)

Read about it on Smart Parenting. Click this link
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/toddler/what-to-do-and-say-when-your-tot-hits-you-a1162-20170915 (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/toddler/what-to-do-and-say-when-your-tot-hits-you-a1162-20170915)