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Parenting => Real Parenting => Single Moms => Topic started by: mommynikambal04 on December 08, 2011, 09:43:56 am

Title: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: mommynikambal04 on December 08, 2011, 09:43:56 am
HI Its me again.. ngusap kame ng lola ko kanina at umiiyak siya kasi naawa aw siya sa mga bata pag nkapangnak n ko.. kasi may asawa nga si SD at di namin lahat ineexpect na magkakabalikan sila, okey na sana tangap na sa min kasi la naman anak at hiwalay tpos ngyaon mgkakabalikan.. nakakaawa ba talaga ang bata pag nalaman nila na anag daddy nila may iba asawa at wala sila tatay? kasi daw baka magrebelde sina baby.. wala ako magagawa sa ngyri sa min ni SD... as in kahit gustuhin ko.. ano dapat gawin ko?

Thank you mga sis. Di ko lang alm panu ippliwanag sa min na di naman kame nakakaawa...

hay...

Salamat ulit...

Mod's note:
My Baby Girl Is Not 'Kawawa' Just Because Her Dad Left Us
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Read about it on Smart Parenting. Click this link:
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Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: momaye on December 08, 2011, 10:33:30 am
Hi mommy! Ilan na ba anak mo?

Anyways, i dont think just because wala ama ang mga anak mo e magiging kawawa na sila. its up to you how will you teach them. Nasa pagpapalaki mo na kung paano ang magiging attitude nila towards life. kaya you should be strong and love them much. although hinde mo mapupuno lahat but still give the best you can to raise them well. pag malalaki na sila saka mo paliwanag sa kanila what happened. oo hinde maiiwasan that at some point they will ask you kasi tintukso sila or whatever kaya better be ready. what is important is you and your love. and syempre your family must be supportive din. mahirap kasi pag sa family mo pa maririnig un masasakit na bagay. they should at this point show their love and support to you and your children. its not a time ng sisihan, kasi family is family. dapat nagdadamayan. but mommy better learn your lesson and never repeat the same mistake again.

Just pray always and teach your child as well. Maganda ma-instill mo na sa kanila even at early age the fear in God. God bless you mommy. Don't worry and just trust God. He will never give such carrying if you can't carry it.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: Mommy France on December 08, 2011, 11:07:08 am
Di ba sis sabe mo, hindi naman sila pababayaan ng tatay nila? So hindi sila mawawalan ng ama.
May mga batang kasama ang tatay pero parang wala lang kasi hindi naman sila inaasikaso.

Let your SD be the father to his children. Wala silang anak nung wife niya di ba?
Kahit hindi mag-work out yung relationship ninyo, iba naman yung relationship nila bilang mag-ama.

Still, kailangan maayos yung usapan ninyo.
Dapat siguraduhin niyang gampanan niya yung role niya. kasi kung hindi lang din niya gagawin yung role niya, yun ang mas masakit sa mga bata.

Wag ka matakot na mag-rebelde ang anak mo as long as you do everything to make them feel loved and cherished.

Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: ahyzeyuh on December 08, 2011, 12:03:32 pm
i guess its how you raise them

i grew up na walang dad, my mom able to survive it naman
mahirap in some ways, specially siguro kung sobrang dependent ka don sa lalaki.
mind set lang sis. kaw na din nagsabi na hindi sila pababayaan ng dad nila

be there for your kids.kaya mo yan
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: FayeP on December 08, 2011, 08:22:33 pm
sis momynikambal,

di po magiging kawawa ang mga anak mo kasi anjan ka, ang family mo to love and support them...

sis, kami, lumaki kami ng wala un dad namin, kasi naghiwalay parents ko when I was 7y.o. (un sis ko, 5y.o. at bro, 3y.o. at that time), sumama sya sa ibang babae, kasal sila ng parents ko at pinili ng dad ko un kabit niya...

madami din ang nagsabi ke nanay na kawawa kami dahil walang tatay, kasi totally ala communication, wala sustento etc..maski kami sinasabihan na kawawa daw kami...

pero binusog kami ng nanay ko sa support niya at love...as in she's always there for us, at lahat ginawa niya para mabuhay, mapag aral kami...awa ng Lord, walang lumaking bulakbol samin, walang nalulong sa masamang bisyo at naging mabubuting tao naman kami (in my opinion kasi wala kami inaagrabyado tao hehe)...

nasa pagpapalaki yan ng magulang kun magiging kawawa o hindi...

Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: mamay@23 on December 10, 2011, 02:50:46 pm
hindi po magiging kawawa ang babies mo sis kasi  anjan ka!! wag mo silang hayaan kamuhian ang mundo dahil hindi kumpleto ang pamilya nila. ipakita mo na kahit wala si SD anjan naman ang beautiful mommy nasusuporatahan sila all the way :).  always pray sis i know god has a better plan kaya d kayo nagka2luyan ni SD malay nten may nakalaan talaga saio. andito kami Sp moms para bigyan ka ng moral support :)
 
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: BuhayMommy Blogger on December 10, 2011, 04:29:00 pm
hi sis momynikambal,

For me kawawa in a sense na maghahanap sila ng father figure at pag tinanggi ng sariling ama pero in your case naman hindi. Nakakalungkot man isipin yung pamangkin ko ganyan nung lumaki na sya dun niya nakilala totoong tatay niya tapos itinanggi pa. Wala akong masabi sa ganung klase ng tatay. Hindi na nga sinuportahan ganun pa.

Going back, alam kong tayong mga nanay we never fail to explain sa mga kids natin kung ano talaga ang reality. In time things will fall into place sis..

Lalo na kung andyan ang family mo, so no worries sis..

Always pray   :)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: 1sttimemom on December 12, 2011, 11:16:16 am
in my opinion sis di naman magiging kawawa yung baby mo dahil unang una nandyan ka to shower him with all the love and attention that you can give..single mom din ako sis same tayo ng fears pero i wont let it get the best of me. alam ko na triple ang effort na gagawin ko to fill in the  role of being a mom/dad at sobrang hirap nun pero wala akong ibang choice eh. swerte lang nung baby ko kasi meron siyang lolo at tito if ever mangailangan siya ng father figure. for now enjoyin mo ng husto ang baby mo kasi ang bilis lang nila lumaki yung fears mo lift them up to the Lord. stay strong sis lets enjoy and celebrate being a single mom :)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: kurdapya101 on January 09, 2012, 09:53:24 am
the fact na andyan ka for your kids never sila magiging kawawa
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: jealousygirl on January 31, 2012, 06:24:26 am
HI Its me again.. ngusap kame ng lola ko kanina at umiiyak siya kasi naawa aw siya sa mga bata pag nkapangnak n ko.. kasi may asawa nga si SD at di namin lahat ineexpect na magkakabalikan sila, okey na sana tangap na sa min kasi la naman anak at hiwalay tpos ngyaon mgkakabalikan.. nakakaawa ba talaga ang bata pag nalaman nila na anag daddy nila may iba asawa at wala sila tatay? kasi daw baka magrebelde sina baby.. wala ako magagawa sa ngyri sa min ni SD... as in kahit gustuhin ko.. ano dapat gawin ko?


In my opinion, Hindi naman sila magiging kawawa as long as you are there for them .. just want to share this, ako po, anak kami sa first Family, My mom died when i was 3 yrs. old. my father got married when i was 7 yrs. old. my stepmom took over all the obligations. and yes mabait naman siya, she did everything naman for us, she did love us like her own.. BUT.. Iba pa rin ang pagmamahal ng isang Tunay na ina.. Ang father kasi, they are just there to provide the need of the family, to support the Family..but too bad for me, i was also left behind by the father of my daughter..
i gave the love, attention, care. i became the father and the mother.. You know what,ang pagiging rebelde po ng isang bat ay depende sa pagpapalaki ng magulang., proper attention at communication lang.  Honestly,. agree ako dun sa kasabhan nila na Mawala na ang AMA wag lang Ang Ina.. dahil iba ang pagmamahal at pag aalaga ng isang Ina...   :'(   naiyak tuloy ako,, i miss my mom...
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: memebear on January 31, 2012, 08:23:12 am
wag mong isipin na kawawa mga bata kasi pag iniisip mo yun lalo nila mararamdaman yun.pati family members mo dapat alisin nila sa isip nila yun. ang mahalaga eh mahalin mo sila ng husto.

minsan hindi rin naman factor yung walang tatay or walang nanay kaya nagiging rebelde ang bata. ifocus mo na lang isip mo kung pano mo sila mapapalaki ng maayos. pilitin natin maging masaya lagi.  ;)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: meisan21 on January 31, 2012, 06:32:12 pm
my baby's 7month old pa lang pero pinagiisipan ko na ang ganyang bagay.

in some ways, naaawa din ako sa baby ko, but then iniisipin ko na meron akong dad and brother na super love ang baby ko. good example and father figure sila. para sakin blessed ang baby ko kasi pinapaligiran siya ng taong nagmamahal sa kanya. kesa naman kasama nga niya papa niya pero ang puso nasa iba.

wag mong kaawaan ang kids mo, wag mong hayaan na kaawaan sya ng iba. kasi un lang iinisip niya na nakakaawa pala siya. be positive para habang lumalaki siya, wala siyang super bigat na dalahin. kasi for me ah, parang maholdback mga potentials kung ganun ang thinking.

Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: sarsi on February 17, 2012, 07:31:24 am
So true! Hindi kawawa ang bata pag walang ama if the mom will be strong enough and be there for them every single day.. Taung single moms, we should be strong for our kids , let 's make them feel na walang kulang sa kanila just bec they dont have a father, sa atin mismo makita ng kids na strong tayo and we dont need a husband to function well. I've been raising my son alone and God has been very faithful to us since day one, he'a Father to the fatherless.. and now my son's 13 and I'm proud to say he's a really nice kid, i reiterate to him the importance of being a good man which includes treating girls right ,i told him to never ever make any girl cry,  and i know someday he'll be a good husband and a good father.  ;)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: wandergirl_turn_mom on February 29, 2012, 05:54:34 pm
Hindi naman kawawa. Tama yung mga posts ng mga mommies. Nasa sa iyo yun kung paano mo ipapaliwanag sa mga anak ninyo yung situation. I was also holding my breath if time comes and my daughter will ask me kung asan ang dad niya and what happened?

Pero nagulat ako kasi, at 4 years old it seems naiintindihan niya. Alam na niya yung situation. Kung bakit andito kami sa bahay ng parents ko. Kung bakit hindi kami pwede ni SD. I am telling her that pag laki niya kung gusto niya makasama si SD, it's up to her. You see, parang Sharon-KC-Gabby kami eh hehe.

Pero she understood naman. Hindi ako nahirapan mag explain.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: gandangmorena on May 30, 2012, 03:17:45 pm
sa mga echosera sigurong tao magiging kawawa ang tingin nila sa baby mo...
pero huwag mong hayaan na maiparamdam mo ito sa anak mo...
hindi ưan magiging kawawa basta lagi iparamdam ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya at suporta...
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: my louisse antoinette on May 30, 2012, 06:03:18 pm
It would depend on the moms and the immediate people around.  If your child feels truly loved and as she grows would not let your child feel that something or someone missing, then she would feel COMPLETE.  Even if others would question, she would would be confident that even without a father, she is a complete person because she is well loved.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: joseandres on May 31, 2012, 09:30:25 am
I grew up na walang father as in walang support from him, pero hnd naman ako naging kawawa, naging maayos naman ang buhay ko. My mom never thought me to hate my father kahit dumating sa point na gusto kong isumpa tatay ko. Pero sabi ng mom ko, tatay ko pa din un, wala ako sa mundo kong hnd dahil sa kanya. Kaya hnd reason na magiging kawawa c baby pagwalng tatay.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: mariann on June 08, 2012, 07:27:13 pm
I'm not a single mom, but I feel for you sissies...

I believe mas kawawa ang bata kung wala ang ina.  as long as, he promised to support, then there's no problem.  in due time, your kids will understand the situation.  just be honest with them when the right time comes.

what other people are saying are just mere speculations.  it would basically depend on how you accept the situation, live with it, and make it easier for your kids to accept it.  your kids should know the realities in life that you, as their mom, is not perfect.  things will not be perfect always, but at least you know how to face them with your head held high.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: Anne Mercado on July 10, 2012, 05:09:42 am
The truth is, a child who grows up without a mom or dad will always feel a certain loss for that parent.

BUT it doesn't mean that vacuum cannot be filled with other friends or relatives. In short, hindi kawawa ang baby na walang daddy.

Whether your baby is "kawawa or not" depends on how you raise him - as a single parent. This post might help you more:  How To Manage Raising A Child Single Handedly (That Worked On Me) http://goo.gl/OUANv (http://goo.gl/OUANv)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: kiko18 on July 16, 2012, 11:00:42 am
if you feel that way ..you'll just attract negative vibes.
make the most out of it. kawawa naman talaga na walang ama ang babies natin but you shouldn't let them feel that way. malay mo it would be the better way than having the father stay.

i grew up with a complete family but the my parents got separated when i was 24 na yata & had my own kids narin. but then i also got separated from my kids father and i feel sad for them kasi they  would grew up without a father  which i really dont know kung anong feeling. as much as possible i try to fill that empty space by being nice to their father and never did i tell negative comments towards him. its really hard but we can make it through.  :)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: appleliciousforever on July 29, 2012, 01:09:33 am
I am a single mom but I don't believe na kawawa ang anak ko kung wala si SD.

Ayon sa www.urbandictionary.com, it means affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.

di natin maaalis na darating ang panahon na makakaramdam ang bata ng kakulangan lalo kung exposed siya na yung mga kalaro/friends niya belongs to a convenitional family na me nanay at tatay.

pero bilang magulang, di natin dapat isipin na kawawa sila kasi kung tayo mismong single moms ganun ang naiisip maipapasa natin yung negative vibes sa anak natin.

di man lahat ng tao matatanggap ang sitwwasyon natin as a single mom dapat iparamdam natin sa anak natin na kahit wala siyang tatay na kasama or nakilala, maswerte siya kasi mahal natin siya and we will strive hard to support them all through.

di naman kasi lahat sinuwerte na merong nakukuhang child support sa mgs SDs nila, majority single-handedly kinakaya ang pagpapalaki sa mga anak nila.

your child can still have a father figure kung me tatay or brother ka. like me, my son super loves tatay (my father). kahit na di pa din matanggap ng buo ng tatay ko yung ginawa ni SD sa akin, he did not take it against my son at siya ang nag-aalaga sa kanya whenever I am at work.

at tama sila, nasa pagpapalaki naman ng ng mga magulang yan. di rason na dahil kulang ang magulang ay magiging rebelde na.

Look at Kim Chui (nanood kasi ako ng SIR kanina) palipat lipat sila ng kamag-anak at simula ng maghiwalay ang mga magulang niya di na nila ito nakasamang magkakapatid. Pero di naman yun naging dahilan para magrebelde siya, nagsumikap pa nga siya kasi kahit na wala na parang neglected na sila ng parents niya, inisip niya na meron pa siyang mga kapatid na makakasama.

remove awa from your mind and try to understand your situation and look at the brighter things in life.

be happy for your child or children and try not to get offended and respect what others might think.

this is just my opinion based on what I experienced.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: toughmom moderator on September 07, 2013, 03:31:21 am
"My mother-in-law pleaded with me to continue attending family gatherings so our kids would not be estranged from their paternal relatives and I relented."
-Icy
Read how her break up did not affect their children badly on Smart Parenting magazine's September 2013 issue
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: dontcallmebarbie on September 15, 2013, 09:01:04 pm
Mommynikambal04

Hi mommy, like you im also a single mom, i recently gave birth to a baby boy, one of my dilemas before ako manganak is that my son would not have a Father figure while growing up. Naiisip ko baka walang magtuturo mag basketball sa kanya, wala syang makikitang handyman sa bahay, then i realized bakit ko ba ini-stress ang sarili ko sa mga gnung bagay. Naisip ko my dad (my baby's lolo) would be a fantastic role model for my son  rather than my SD. I still dont know how not having a father will affect my baby but i know he wont be kawawa for he has me, his lolo, his lola and my 2 siblings who will love him unconditionally.

Also everytime i hold my baby i whispher in his ears that mommy loves him very much, and everytime he hears me say that he smiles. I think you just need to let them feel your love. Thats the most important thing you have to do.
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: bbchiara on October 16, 2013, 12:24:49 am
i cant blame you for feeling that way, normal naman talaga yan... kaya lang isipin mo, your child's situation is better compared to other kids, yung iba nga inwan sa orphage, yung iba naman kahit complete family, may ginagawa namang masama yung tatay nila. instead na mag self pitty, tingnan mo na lang na blessing parin kasi nandyan ka para sa kanya... kaya dont compare your life to others..

by the way, we have a group for single mom's on facebook(in secret mode) kasi topics are sensitive. if you want to join, you may search me, "ira chiara" and i will add you to the group. we hope to see you there. =)
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: psyche17 on October 16, 2013, 06:39:56 pm
i have the same fear. i gave birth to my son without his father at our side. we were married but then he chose to be with his "first family" (they used to live together and have 1 child). i fear that he will be mad at me because he will grow up without a dad.
what i'm doing now is we go to my in laws house as much as possible so he would now that there are others who love him even if his dad is not with us.
but is it wrong that i am still hoping that we will eventually patch things up and live together as a family?
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: J0 on October 17, 2013, 08:42:10 am
Hi  milesbiay

All you need is love.

Just raise your son with your love and let him experience how real it is from other people who love him...and I'm sure he will remember more of all that love...than noticing any loss.  Love and truth also go hand in hand...so while he grows up in love...make sure that he will not be denied of the truth.

I just love the following words of wisdom:

"Omnia vincit amor, et nos cedamos amori."  Love conquers all.  Let us, too, yield to love.

"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world"

You got two powers there, your love and your motherhood!

And just always return to the source of all love, truth, power and justice...leave everything else to God!
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: n_titong on November 13, 2013, 04:48:20 pm
sobra nainspire po ko sa mga nabasa ko im also single mom...i feel the same about my son whose about 9 mos...i love my son so much despite sa mga ginawa ng dad niya sakin.. thanks po moms for those inspirational advice nababasa  ko that i never alone in this kind of situation...
Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: jealousygirl_15 on November 13, 2013, 08:45:03 pm
^ Hi sis  I might inspire you in this story of mine.. 

http://babyexpo.ph/sandie's-crib/?p=197


Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: maia2013 on November 15, 2013, 11:47:11 am
Hi sis, I belong to a broken home din, as in never ko nakasama ang papa ko, 4 kaming magkakapatid, pero never naman namin naramdaman na kawawa kami. Kasi pinuno kami ng pagmamahal at tamang pag aalaga ng mama ko....magiging kawawa lang ang anak natin kung pababayaan natin sila. Maybe inisip ng mama namin na wala na kami makukuhang love sa papa namin, kaya dobleng love yung binigay niya...so nasa atin lang kung paano ang magiging lagay ng mga anak natin.

Title: Re: need help ulit.. kawawa ba sina baby pag walang ama?
Post by: Mommy ni KC on November 21, 2013, 09:09:26 pm
Hi sis mommynikambal
-  sayang kambal pa naman yata baby mo. Mas masaya yan sabay silang lalaki. Dont think thAt they will be kawawa. Kaya mo yan. Just be strong and give them all the love and care that they need. Di man sapat atleast u give ur bezt. Pareho tau ng situation sis.. isa nga lang baby namin and shes 5 months palang. Her dad and x gf back together. Kawawa din kami! Pero di ko pinapahalata sa mundo na talo ko. Di natin kailangan isipin na talo or kawawa tayo or baby natin..kasi unang unang affected nun is baby/s. Basta just believe in urself ull be ok! Pag napalaki mo sila ng maayos atleast somehow pakita mo ky SD nagkamali sya!