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Parenting => Real Parenting => Single Moms => Topic started by: littleBigmiss on February 14, 2012, 10:19:25 am

Title: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: littleBigmiss on February 14, 2012, 10:19:25 am
hi mommies.. please post here any experience you might have on being discriminated for being a single mom..with micro blogging sites nowadays, it's easier to reach congresswomen & senators..maybe, just maybe they'd be able to hear our plight when i present proof..i know there's a law against discrimination against us but it still happens..

here's my story:

i have been discriminated in two interviews already..i am currently looking for work but i am very particular with the companies i apply to..sad to say, some of them are also particular..one told me that everything is okay - the result of my exams, my communication skills, my experience except that i'm a single mom and i shouldn't have my hopes high because it could be a major factor why i wouldn't be hired. the hr manager said they are a very conservative company and their president is a lay minister and she'd have a very hard time justifying her endorsing of me..

that was the first time i was discriminated at all..when i heard that, i felt like i was slapped..i couldn't function for a while..i am not a judgmental person..i always keep in mind that every face has a story so experiencing that is something of a shock to me..and then i was discriminated again - the president of another (different) company told me during an interview, "i like single parents because they are very hardworking..i just don't want them to get involved in not-so-ideal situations in the company (then looked intently at me)"..well, that was implied but discrimination nonetheless..

this is how some view us - when you're a single mom, you automatically earn a questionable character and that you are predisposed to do something wrong more than the average person..i feel really bad..i'll admit, until now i am still hurt for the way i was treated..

mommies, please share your experience..although, i wouldn't really wish for anyone to be discriminated but if you have been, please share the details..

anyway, happy valentine!  ;)

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Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: jealousygirl on February 14, 2012, 11:02:23 am
^ shoccks.. i feel so bad about it..haysssss...

enwei,,hindi ko pa naman na experience yun, and i hope that i wouldn't because i cant stand on it..
what company yun sis? pm mo naman sakin..  is it BPO industry?
 
as per this law under RA 8972

Sec. 7. Work Discrimination. - No employer shall discriminate against any solo parent employee with respect to terms and conditions of employment on account of his/her status.

For all i know sis you can compain that company,. if proven that they did that, mag f fine sila,, nabasa ko lang yun before... kung ako yun sis.. Mag rereklamo ko,,, ^^ sa congress,,,
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: littleBigmiss on February 14, 2012, 03:27:51 pm
^yun nga gusto ko sanang makarating sa kinauukulan..para lang sana mas maging strict sa law, that they shouldn't be discriminating..ala na nga masyadong support from the govt ang single moms sobrang konti..yung benefits pa under solo parent act parang ma a avail mo lang yung iba if mahirap ka lang talaga..e kahit middle class ka, ang hirap pa rin..tapos ganyan pa bina brand ka ng society..wag na yung govt support kasi dito sa pinas mahirap na mangyari yun pero yung mga incidents naman sana na katulad ng nangyari sakin, sana wala..

hindi ko lang alam if masyado ako sensi..pero i don't think i should take this in stride...hindi dapat okay kahit kanino ang maapakan ang pagkatao or madiscriminate..

anyway sis, hindi BPO yung companies..multinational companies dito sa south (luzon)..akala ko pag family-owned yun medyo ma e expect mo na conservative..well kahit multinationals if run by conservatives (and apprently judgmental people) ganun din..

Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: Errych on February 14, 2012, 08:18:37 pm
I've been with my present Company for 5 years now. But we never discriminate single parents. During final interviews, I personally considers single parents because they are very motivated and passionate about their jobs. Maybe because they have to provide a decent living for their family. I have high respect for them.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: ahyzeyuh on February 16, 2012, 01:17:37 pm
thats so mean.. kairita coz
im a single mom too-- and ayoko mangyari yan kahit kanino

so far im getting the Privilege and support of being one
just like when my mom and daughter was admitted to the hospital- im granted for a 2weeks leave

sana sis makahanap ka na ng work--
try mo kaya sumbong sa T3? maturuan lang ng leksyon ( sorry crazy ideas) ;)

Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: littleBigmiss on February 17, 2012, 09:53:18 am
@ mommy errych, thanks for people like you..sana marami pa katulad mo :)

@ mommy ahyzeyuh, thanks for the sympathy.. :) wag na lang isumbong..gusto ko lang maging aware mga mambabatas that these things happen..like si sen. pia, she's very accommodating sa twitter..if you tweet her with an issue and she finds it a worthwhile cause, she'll really act on it..pero so far mukha naman hindi rampant ang discrimination sa single moms..kasi mukhang ako lang pero that's a good thing..at least di naman pala marami na di discriminate..which made me think, baka naman ako me problem? haha! although ano ba naman dun e dinisclose ko lang naman na single mom ako..  :o

anyway, you're lucky to have an employer na okay.. 2-week leave - w.o.w *clap, clap*..i remember nung preggy ako and i had to be on bed rest for pre-term labor, ayun nag wowork pa rin ako..although in fairness naman sa dati ko employer, hindi rin naman nila ako pipilitin if sinabi kong ayaw ko mag work..plus naging maluwag naman sila sakin kahit papano when i was pregnant..

sana nga makanap nako work na okay.. and bago yun, sana yung next set of interviews hindi nako madiscriminate  ;D
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: lei101402 on February 19, 2012, 01:01:20 pm
sis we have the same problem.i am 30 pero nahihiya nako magapply because of being single.basta corporate parang madidiscriminate tulad natin.unlike sa bpo or call center walang discrimination
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: littleBigmiss on February 20, 2012, 10:40:55 am
^sis ano nangyari sayo? if you would, please share the details..

i think me point ka rin - pag bpo or call center kasi lahat na ng personality meron and parang hindi sila masyadong sensitive sa mga ganitong bagay..unlike pag regular company, meron kasi silang "culture" na mine maintain and they would only hire people that would fit in that culture so medyo mapili sila to the point na discriminating na minsan..well, opinion ko lang naman yan..napaisip ako nung na mention mo yung bpo and call center..pero i think ganun na nga yun..  ;D

san ka pala affiliated ngayon sis? i mean, anong type ng company?
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: purple_girl on February 21, 2012, 12:44:09 am
not all companies naman discriminate against single moms.  i'm working in a multinational company and during the interview i've told them my situation. they never took that against me naman. i've been with this company for 7 months na, and still counting, and i'm very happy with my decision to work here.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: two_angels'_mom on February 21, 2012, 03:05:48 am
the best ka talaga sis errych :)

hay kakalungkot pa rin makabasa ng ganito :(..meron nga di ba naging thread din dito sa sp teacher sya sa catholic school nun nabuntis sya out of wed lock she was terminated for grounds of immorality >:(..pero tama si sis purple_girl hindi naman nga lahat ng company would look down on single parents like us..ako din iv been to two different companies and i have told them during my interview of my situation and luckily they did not took it against me..dont despair sis makakahanap ka din ng work..hayaan mo na lang yung mga companies na nag-turn down sa yo coz they have lost as errych would termed it  "are very motivated and passionate" worker..pero tama dn tong ginawa mo to create this thread so that people would be aware that incidents like these are happening in our society.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: briella on February 21, 2012, 05:59:49 am
Oh my! That is just so rude! Applying for jobs is very hard then at the end of the course, these is what you get. These companies are pathetic... and karma will easily join them kung ganyan sila kasasama.

I have high respects for single moms kasi they are very hard-working and they strive for the best to give their dependents the best life ever.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: jealousygirl on February 21, 2012, 07:15:43 am
@ sis little big miss.. pag BPO or Call Center kasi,db po usually americans ang owner. and sa country nila,they prioritize and their government, giving suports to the solo parent, kaya they are not discriminating single parents like us., eh dito po satin.. may law nga hindi mo naman alam kung ano ang mga sanctions for those who are not respecting the said law.. buti nalang here sa company namin, we are not discrimating solo parents.. karamihan nga rin single mom eh..siguro depende nga rin sa company as well..

Sana sis makahanap ka na ng work.. kaya mo yan sis,. goodluck..
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: littleBigmiss on February 21, 2012, 11:05:53 am
thanks mga sis for the encouragement! sana nga makahanap nako ng work soon..

and yes, i agree hindi lahat ng companies discriminating..in fact yung previous company ko when i told them na pregnant ako and ala ako balak magpakasal hindi naman nila ako finire..sabi nga ng sister ko swerte ko kasi di lahat ng companies would accept that..sa company kasi nila pag ganun, terminated kaagad..sad di ba?  :( my previous company was very supportive, hindi nabago ang workload - toxic pa rin - pero at least inallow nila ako ng super flexi time..and yung mga officemates ko supper supportive din..sayang nga lang i had to leave..

anyway, glad naman ako na hindi naman pala norm ang discrimination sa single moms..mukhang ako lang napuruhan e..but just as sis two_angels'_mom said, gusto ko rin maging aware ang mga tao na these things happen..if it happens to someone else, we have to do something..this should be unacceptable..pero since mukhang ako lang napuruhan, no action needed muna..  ;D but sa iba pa readers who might have had the same experience, pwedeng hindi sa work place, pwedeng sa kahit na ano situation, please share kasi if we let the right people know and they act on it, then mape prevent natin na maranasan ng iba yung naranasan natin..hindi rin biro ang madiscriminate ha, pakiramdam mo second class citizen ka..

still, thanks mga sis for posting, for the sympathy and the words of encouragement!  ;)
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: moi angels on February 27, 2012, 01:22:26 am
well... i haven't experienced this in the workplace... pero talagang nakakainis kapag nakakarinig ng ganito! lalo pa yung mga employers na tipong binibida pa na super conservative sila then it's against their 'values' etc but only to find out na mismong may-ari ng company or the CEOs eh may mga kalokohan din!  :P i've been in the BPO industry for quite some time na... yes wala silang discrimination but there are still people within the company na discriminating (eg. going for a promotion ka eh biglang mapupurnada kasi may issues of you not being able to render OT dahil solo parent ka...)

well, we solo parents get discriminated one way or another... have you ever experienced being introduced to people na biglang umiiba ang ihip ng hangin once sinabing solo parent ka? (well, they're not worth the friendship naman and even with your own relatives, minsan nangyayari ito... worse, icocompare ka pa sa iba!) or for those single moms who are back on the dating scene... hindi ba parang may invisible tag na 'easy-to-get' since single mom?  :-\

hindi biro maging solo parent! we should be proud!  8)
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: jadiejesslyn on March 04, 2012, 07:32:32 pm
in our office which is a BPO, sa male team mates ko mismo nanggaling, na single moms are most likely to be in a FuBu relationship, i'm a single mom and one of my team mate is a single mom as well, syempre major react kami. I  just think he's really stupid and ignorant kaya hinde ko na pinatulan, pero yung ka team mate ko na single mom, talagang hinde tinantanan yung topic and she's really pissed off. I just told the group that for me single moms are more mature na pag dating sa relationship and are most likely to enter in a serious relationship only.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: mommyjanice on March 05, 2012, 01:31:50 pm
Hi Sis,

Dati nagwork ako sa Korean Company..Sad to say, may mga ilang Korean companies na ayaw talaga sa mga single parent/s, hiwalay, unmarried, basta yung may complicated story ng buhay..Kinonfirm to mismo ng boss ko..I will cite example pa..
1. NAbuntis ako bago nagpakasal..That time, ang balak namin, after ko na lang kami manganak para makaipon pa pangkasal at the same time, sabay na lang sa binyag. Nung sinabi ko sa boss ko, agad niya akong kinausap na ayusin ko na daw agad kasal namin.. And Know what, siya ang gumastos sa kasala namin para mapadali lang..As in lahat..Sinabi niya kasi sa akin na pwede daw ako tanggalin ng company once na nalaman to *( O diba, exagz)

2. Nung paresign na ako, madaming qualified na candidates pero pumapalpak kasi unmarried, single moms, o kaya hiwalay. Dun pa lang, bagsak na kahit gano kaganda credentials...

Ewan ko lang sa ibang Korean companies ha, pero halos lahat ng alam kong company,ganun sila,,.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: littleBigmiss on March 14, 2012, 11:01:08 am
@ moi angels, sis tama ka - "easy-to-get"..naalala ko, there was this one guy sa office who after i came back from maternity leave, bigla na lang me mga hint, pasaring na "available" daw sya..tapos yung mga jokes niya naging green, even in front of others, i'd be the target of green jokes..nakakainis..

kung iisipin mo di ba, this is still me, nothing has changed except that i became a single mom and it could be for a variety of reasons..tapos ang mga tao, icacategorize ka na lang negatively..teka, tao ka pa rin naman..tao pa rin tayo..we are the same person and malamang better person pa nga after having a child..di ba?  :'(

@ jadiejesslyn, thanks for championing single moms.. :) i wish there are more people like you..

@ mommyjanice, naaliw naman ako sa boss mo pero hindi masyado sa company nyo..discrimination to highest level sila ha..  :o
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: DeeCee on April 03, 2012, 11:08:15 pm
regarding discrimination naalala ko lang yung interview kay andi eigenmann she said something like, if they don't get pregnant it doesn't mean they're not having sex or that they're virgins. kasi parang dun nanggagaling yung discrimination, na because we got pregnant out of wedlock and eventually became single moms automatic easy girl, should not be taken seriously, low morals. haaaay stress
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: rozzy on May 07, 2012, 01:10:47 pm
Hi mommies! Sharing this article about According to the Law: Solo Parent Leave (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/home-living/homebase/according-to-the-law-solo-parent-leave).

This is important especially to those single parents who doesn't know yet about Solo Parents' Welfare Act of 2000 which have benefits including protection against discrimination in the work place.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: mariann on May 07, 2012, 10:24:25 pm
i'm not a single mom, but i really hate it when single moms are being discriminated or judged.
i work in a bank, and i have two tellers under me who were single moms.  i pointed out that it was their choice not to get married as long as they have not really made up their minds.  pregnancy should not be a compelling reason to get married.

good thing such actuations/circumstances were not included in our code of conduct.  it doesn't mean that if they've done something stupid in life, they're stupid at work.  each one is entitled to their own personal choice.  and for me, choosing to be a single mom rather than give up the baby for the sake of a career is not stupidity.  it means being strong enough to face the situation head on, with or without a partner.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: ea_brea on May 09, 2012, 10:49:02 am
regarding discrimination naalala ko lang yung interview kay andi eigenmann she said something like, if they don't get pregnant it doesn't mean they're not having sex or that they're virgins. kasi parang dun nanggagaling yung discrimination, na because we got pregnant out of wedlock and eventually became single moms automatic easy girl, should not be taken seriously, low morals. haaaay stress

i agree, meron talagang mga tao na kapag maaga ka nabuntis or nabuntis ka out of wedlock ay iba na ang tingin sa yo. napaka judgemental, akala mo ang lilinis na tao. may naencounter lang ako sa isang interview ko before (though natanggap naman ako sa company) with the GM of the company na nabanggit ko na may anak na ako pero hindi kasal. ayun napailing siya, and to think bata pa to ha! what more yung mga may edad na.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: baby bella on May 13, 2012, 02:16:18 pm
Hi mga single mommies,

I think it should start from us. Just show them your worth. I'm happy with where I work right now. I'm in Sunlife by the way and sabi ng aking unit manager sakin  during interview is something like: Sa totoo lang mataas ang tingin ko sa mga single moms. They're tougher.

Syempre palakpak ang ears ko. I agree, in a sense that:
1. you'll have to juggle the roles of a mom and dad in one.
2. you need to work double time to feed your family and still be present in our kids' lives.
3. you'll have to 'fend of' criticisms of being a single mom.
4. and marami pang IKAW lang lahat ang gagawa magisa.

Dun pa lang diba. Worth it ka na.

I'm a single mom and isa lang masasabi ko sa criticisms and discriminations: DEADMA. Di ko kayo papatulan.

Hindi pa naman ako nasasabihan ng 'easy-to-get' but if ever someone will, edi magdedeadma mode ulit ako. All they want is attention anyway and if you don't give it to them then they'll stop. Don't even dare to bat an eyelash.

As per Ann Curtis, sa kanya ko nakuha yang motto na yan. hahaha! Learn the art of deadma mga sis. If you're in the 'hot seat' just learn the art of deadma :P
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: gandangmorena on May 30, 2012, 02:56:53 pm
I've been with my present Company for 5 years now. But we never discriminate single parents. During final interviews, I personally considers single parents because they are very motivated and passionate about their jobs. Maybe because they have to provide a decent living for their family. I have high respect for them.

I agree. One of my friend is a single mom too.
Dedicated sa work kasi wala naman siyang aasahan kundi siya lang talaga. Sarili niya lang.
Kapag tsini.tsismis siya or dini.discriminate siya...hindi niya na lang yun pinapansin instead focus siya sa baby niya pero kapag hindi niya minsan kinakaya or lumalampas sa limitations niya eto sinasabi niya...

"kung maka.react ka, bakit ikaw ba bumuntis sa akin? hindi diba? e ba't may reaksyon?"  :P
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: rozzy on May 31, 2012, 07:58:34 am
Another inspiring story about single parenting. Here's SP Mag article about:
Taking up the Challenges of Solo Parenting
--> http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/taking-up-the-challenge-of-solo-parenting
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: trishevil on May 31, 2012, 12:39:44 pm
^so sad naman to hear stories of discrimination especially against single moms. I'm not a single mom pero I know some women who are. I randomly meet them. All I can is, ako nga na may husband na hirap pa sa baby ko..how much more pa kaya pag single mom ka? You have to provide for everything for your child at the same time you have to take care of him/her. Di ba nila naisip na if you were in the single mom's shoe how would you feel knowing that you have to be both parents tapos i-turn down ka lang? So bad, so unjust and so inhumane. Haaay..I HATE PEOPLE WHO DISCRIMINATE.

I got pregnant out of wedlock when I was with a huge company. When they knew I was pregnant, Ok lang sa kanila. More important sa kanila na you can do your job. Actually, naexcite pa nga yung people sa department namin. They even gave me a surprise Baby Shower.

Now, I'm in Government service and they don't discriminate against single mom. (syempre di ba, kasi Government na nga). Actually, mas gusto nila yung may family na para motivated na mag-work and yung for law for Single Parents is talagang naiimplement. Iniexplain pa nga nila ang law for single parent kahit na Married ka..sabi nila Just in  Case but hopefully wag naman sana. Hahaha natawa nga ako eh. Standard procedure kasi ata yun.
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: toughmom moderator on September 01, 2013, 01:23:21 am
Smart Parenting magazine's upcoming Sept. 2013 issue: Single Parents Special
(http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/images/site-alpha/articles/september-2013-cover-med.jpg)
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/community/news/danica-and-marc-pingris-for-sp-first-mag-cover-post-gilas-victory
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: Jijiera on September 02, 2013, 02:12:32 am
Napaka unfair naman kung mangdiscriminate sila. Bakit kasalanan ba natin na walang balls at not man enough ang mga tatay ng anak natin? Did we even chose to have irresponsible partners? Hindi naman di ba? We live in an age na sex is a normal part of any relationship. It takes two to tango. Walang batang mabubuo kung tayo lang magisa noh. Hindi ba nila naisip that irresponsible dads should be the ones looked down upon. Tayo na nga itong nagtataguyod para sa anak natin being both a mom and a dad tayo pa hindi mabibigyan ng magandang opportunities? Mas ok ba sa society na ito kung sabihin natin na we chose magpa abort na lang or ibandon mga babies natin kasi hindi tayo pinakasalan? Alin kaya mas imoral? In the first place, hindi lahat ng kasal at may asawa perfect at happily ever after ang buhay. People who discriminate are big HYPOCRITES. Nakakaawa sila, hindi tyo, kasi mas stable at malawak  ang pagiisip natin kaysa sa kanila. Thats why we could play the role of both the mom and the dad  :D

Wag paapeko much sis. Mas madami naman ok na companies out there versus the patapon ones. Cheer up :)
Title: Re: discriminated for being a single mom
Post by: justhaven on September 02, 2013, 10:01:28 am
hi mga sis.. new lang po me dito.. what if  yong discrimination eh sa mismong bahay ninyo nagaganap? and mother mo pa mismo ang nagdidiscriminate sayo? what will you do?