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Parenting => Real Parenting => Topic started by: annamariemomof3 on November 27, 2012, 07:49:26 pm

Title: My son lies all the time.
Post by: annamariemomof3 on November 27, 2012, 07:49:26 pm
I need your advice. I don't know how to deal with my 9 year old son anymore. He lies all the time, even about little things. I used to be able to tell when he's not telling the truth pero ngayon napaninindigan na niya. I would understand Kung may nagawa siya mali at natatakot siya mapagalitan  but he outright makes up stories. One time he said na la pasok kasi may meeting mga teachers yun pala tinatamad Lang siya. I have been a SAHM since he was two kaya I'm really surprised sa laki ng pagbabago niya.

Mod's note:
Lying Is a Developmental Milestone: How to Use it to Instill Honesty
(https://images.summitmedia-digital.com/smartpar/images/2018/08/23/lying-aug2318.jpg)
Read about it on Smart Parenting. Click this link:
 https://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/preschooler/lying-preschoolers-how-to-deal-a00026-20180824?ref=parentchat

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Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: yhamsloveŽ on November 27, 2012, 11:55:46 pm
^That's kind of alarming sis.  :( Wala pa akong experience on handling such kase 3 y/o palang anak ko. Pero may mga nakita akong links, maybe you can check them:

http://voices.yahoo.com/how-kids-stop-lying-10-tips-5121987.html

http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/How-to-deal-with-lying-and-encourage-honesty-.aspx

http://childparenting.about.com/od/lyingandstealing/a/youngchildlies.htm
Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: ea_brea on November 28, 2012, 11:32:34 am
baka may ibang reason din behind the lying na wala siyang pasok. may ibang bata kasi ayaw pumasok dahil binu-bully sila. talk with your son, try to ask him why he had to make up that story.
Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: Mommy Jazz on November 28, 2012, 04:44:15 pm
Naku, pareho tayo ng dilemma annamariemomof3. Parang gusto kong magtayo ng club ng mga mommies with the same problem. 9yo din ang daughter ko at noon napapansin ko na na nagsisinungaling siya but I don't have proof. Then on her PTC, her teacher told me that she lies kahit huli na siya, deny pa rin.
I had a serious talk with my daughter. I also gave her a chance to explain herself that on some instance daw, she's telling the truth but her classmates thought she's lying. Sabi ko I believe you, but maybe your classmates lost their trust in you na kaya ganun. I said I'd rather hear the truth. Kung may tinulak ka, say why you did it. If she annoys you, say it. If you lie, it means you know it's wrong kaya you're hiding it. Kung may ginawa ka, panindigan mo and don't cover it up. You must have a good reason in the 1st place. Makikinig naman ako sa reason mo. If you're wrong, just say "sorry", it's no biggie right? I got her to agree that nothing's a big deal. People forget afterwards so there's no need to lie. I also told her how proud we are as parents that she tells the truth all the time, sana hindi niya sirain yung pagiging proud namin. I don't expect her to change immediately after the talk so I say this prayer palagi from the book The Power of a Praying Parent (copied this from http://everydayprayer4urkids.blogspot.com). There are more prayers for lying children here:
http://kidsofintegrity.com/honesty-parents-prayer





Lord,
I pray that You will fill (name of child) with Your Spirit of truth. Give her (him) a heart that loves truth and follows after it, rejecting all lies as a manifestation of the enemy. Flush out anything in her (him) that would entertain a lying spirit and cleanse her(him) from any death that has crept in as a result of lies she(he) may have spoken or thought. help her(him) to understand that every lie gives the devil a piece of her(his) heart, and into the hole that's left comes confusion, death and separation from Your presence. Deliver her(him) from any lying spirit. I pray that he(she) not be blinded or deceived, but always be able to clearly understand Your truth.
I pray that she(he) will never be able to get away with lying - that all lies will come to light and be exposed. If he(she) lies, may he(she) be so miserable that confession and is consequences will seem like a relief. help me to teach her (him) what it means to lie, and effectively discipline her(him) when she(he) tests that principle. Your Word says that "when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth" (John 16:13). I pray that Your Spirit of truth will guide her(him) into all truth. May she(he) never be a person who gives place to lies, but rather a person of integrity who follows hard after the Spirit of truth.
Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: annamariemomof3 on November 28, 2012, 05:24:26 pm
Hmmmm if there's a prayer especially for lying kids then it must be a common problem. Maybe it's just a phase. At least I am hoping it is. :)
Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: aimeecastro on December 23, 2012, 03:22:41 pm
naku alarming nga when kids lie. usually kasi di ba sinasabi nila na ang bata nagsasabi ng totoo, so there must be a reason bakit marunong na masinungaling ang kids at such a young age. so far okay naman ako sa panganay ko
Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: sweet&spice on December 27, 2012, 04:27:13 pm
If your son is lying sis, and it's becoming prevalent --- being a SAHM, alam mo, he's not inherently like that in the first place. try to trace the source of his fears. a person lies, because he fears that if somebody knew the truth, he will get into real and harmful trouble. the fear in him, is greater, that is why, he 'escapes' from the truth.

tama yung ginawa ni mommy jazz. have a talk with your son, yung super heart to heart. set aside, 'labeling' or 'sisihan'. set aside yung initial 'angry and disappointed' mode -- that wouldn't help. what would help is that your child, trusts you again to believe that whatever it is, whatever the problem is --- he could still run to you. you could still accept him, and forgive him --- inspite of.

i believe the bond between you is strong. try to rebuild it.

if his lying is just school-related, then, there must be about school that he doesn't like. maybe he gets bored. maybe he got bullied. maybe he felt he does not belong. maybe he is falling behind in his grades.

if its an overall lying in school, in the house, in activities, in simplest of things ---- then he's shrinking from responsibilities. it has been a habit already, but at 9 years old, i believe, firm and loving parenting is still key.

i lied before when i was small, not big lies, but i did. i was labeled as a child. i was assumed to be guilty before being heard, that to be good and honest, was just too hard, and to play the 'difficult' child, was easier --- the sermons were shorter, the expectations, lower, and physical harm, if at all, is expected.

don't let him lose hope and faith in how unwavering your belief is, in his goodness, and yet, be the firm parent that needs to guide him. has there been abrupt changes in the house? in the family structure? in the finances? somebody died? sometimes changes are hard on the kids.

basta, root out the cause, pray for wisdom and discretion for your son and you. god bless.
Title: Re: My son lies all the time.
Post by: Mommy Jazz on September 03, 2015, 01:53:30 pm
When Kids Lie
(https://images.summitmedia-digital.com/smartpar/images/liar-web.jpg)
Read it on Smart Parenting
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/when-kids-lie-lfrm