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Author Topic: child tantrums  (Read 55912 times)

Mommy Jazz

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #30 on: August 21, 2009, 09:10:14 pm »

My 2yo boy has a temperament prob. Dati akala naming mag asawa it's just a phase, but when we took him to a Development Pedia to check on his speech delay, this temperament problem was seen. Excessive daw sabi nung Doctor.
He can cry forever if his needs are not met. Masyado pang clingy, hindi ako makahiwalay, kahit sa bathroom sinasama ko siya dahil iiyak when I'm out of his sight. Eto po ang mga actions namin as per our Mother-Child Psychologist.
1) pag hindi pwede yung hinihingi niya, let him cry. Expect that his cries will get louder and stronger for a few days, to a week. You have to be firm and ignore him. Huwag palo, it  will not work, it will even aggravate the stress and situation. Ignoring him wil make him realize after a few days that his tantrums doesn't work anymore. Masakit man sa tenga, you have to go through this.
2)Pag tumahimik, that's when you give his request or reward him.
About his clingy behavior
1)separate yourself 30mins/day everyday increasing it gradually. Stay at home Mom kasi ako that's why it's hard for me to stay away from his sight, so I lock myself in the bedroom. Then it turned out, sa akin lang siya umiiyak ng sobra. When he's alone woth his Dad, sandali lang ang iyak niya.

Through the recommendation of the Developmental Pedia, we had him undergo Occupational Therapy. Their activities include
1) playing with toys that can practice patience like building blocks, stringing beads, floor puzzles and other toys with an "ending".
2)obstacle course game wherein he has to complete a set of task and get a reward game at the end of each task.
3)bounce him on the pilates ball. This calms him down. Ewan kung bakit. It works better than soothing him. I gues iba-iba ang behavior talaga ng mga bata.

He's doing OT 2x/wk for 2 1/2 months now and his change in behavior has been satisfactory. There are still occassional tantrums at hinahayaan ko syang maglupasay sa sahig pag hindi talaga pwede. Ang advice kasi nung therapist, I should have the last say, hindi siya yung magdi-dictate sa akin kaya ako nahirapan because I am being manipulated. It's a difficult transition but worth it.

Eto yung isang scenario na naging turning point namin. He always want to be carried at masakit nang talaga sa braso at likod. We were walking home one day and he started to throw a tantrum in the street because he wants to be lifted. I let him cry while pulling his hand up so he wont lie down on the pavement. I kept dragging him to walk and cautious for him not to trip. It's tough love. After 5 meters of agony, he stopped crying and started walking straight but still sobbing. So I loosened my grip and we walked all the way home. That was a moment I realized I am the boss, not the slave. I seemed to have proven myself to him because since then, he knows I don't buy his tantrum anymore.

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Mom Massage

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #31 on: December 15, 2009, 11:55:31 am »

My wife and I came across this site (by Chris Thompson) that proved very helpful with raising our 3 year old son.

http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=TQn4EQS4HH

Not only is it effective on our son, it also proved effective on our friend's daughter. We were at a get-together last night when our friend's daughter got hold of our other friend's cellphone thus giving her (our other friend) a little problem leaving for work. Everyone else tried to persuade her into returning the phone from distracting her with a video to showing her her favorite toy. I approached the situation using one of the techniques I learned from the site. In a few seconds, our friend's cellphone was with me.

Up to now, these techniques still amaze me.


http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=TQn4EQS4HH
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Mom Massage

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #32 on: December 15, 2009, 12:24:23 pm »

We had the same problems you guys have with our now 3 year old son.

OT really helped a lot with his discipline.

Another thing that also helped was the site that we saw through surfing the web:
http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=TQn4EQS4HH

This site gave us very effective tips and techniques on communicating with our little boy.
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mariann

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #33 on: December 19, 2009, 11:50:19 am »

when my kids started showing signs of tantrums, i ignore them. be it in a public place or at home.
 
e.g. when my eldest was about to throw a fit at toy kingdom when she was about 2 years old, i simply ignore her and went my way to another store. right there and then, she stopped knowing nobody would mind her or get the things she wants.
 
with my little one iza, i just hug her when she's being unreasonable and talk calmly to her.
 
so walang tantrums mga kids ko.
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amber

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #34 on: December 26, 2009, 10:59:27 pm »

sobrang mag-tantrum si baby, pag hindi nakuha ang gusto niya ayun pahirapan na. kahit na he's too young to understand certain things, i make sure na i'm being consistent with my words. kapag sinabi ko na "NO", hindi talaga pwede kahit ano pang gawin niya. kapag pinagbigyan kase every time na magtatantrum siya ay magiging habit niya na yun kapag may nagustuhan siya.

minsan nakakaawa na kase sobrang umiiyak kaya dini-divert ko na lang ang attention niya  ayun effective naman, tumatahan at balik na ulit sa dati parang walang nangyari
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amber

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #35 on: January 11, 2010, 06:40:08 am »

sobra ding magtantrums si baby.gusto palagi siya ang nasusunod. ;Dlalo na sa food pag nakita ka niyang kumakain, sisigaw na lang yun bigla.kaya di ako nagpapakita pag umiinom ng softdrinks at kumakain ng chips..hehe madalas pa pag may nadampot na bagay tapos kukunin mo iiyak ng todo-todo..

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toughmom moderator

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #36 on: April 17, 2011, 08:43:27 pm »

Related SP topic: Could my Child be Bipolar?

Common symptoms presented by children with bipolar disorder include:
•    low self-esteem
•    difficulty getting up in the morning
•    giddiness
•    distractibility
•    explosive temper tantrums

read more:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/toddler/development-child-care/could-my-child-be-bipolar
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toughmom moderator

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2011, 07:43:52 am »

Real moms tell us what works for them in pacifying their children when they act up.
"'deadma' works best"
"We explain why they can't get what they want"
"I explain how it affects them and Mommy"
"We teach her to answer, 'Yes Mommy. I will not do it again.'"
"We taught him that he should 'earn' it by being a good boy.”

Read what other moms shared on Dealing with your Toddler’s Tantrums : Real Moms Speak Out
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/toddler/behavior/dealing-with-your-toddler-s-tantrums-real-moms-speak-out

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momaye

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #38 on: October 19, 2011, 01:57:56 pm »

naku this is a problem i feared a lot. i am a working mom, and this double the problem. but anyways, marami resources from the web which we can read to atleast understand the situation of our growing toddler. my son though very sweet has a hobby na lulundag o liliyad pag di naibigay ang gusto niya. ang ginagawa namin we will distract him and take him away from the source of his tantrums. it will work naman but still merun un times na ayaw paawat. pansin naman pag inaantok sya. as i understand toddlers are not capable of controlling their emotions so they end up screaming, crying and un iba naglulupasay pa nga. the thing is we need to know first why he is acting like that. we should not scream at them kasi lalo nila gagawin un. most of the times gusto lang nila makuha attentions natin. tantrums can not be prevented completely but we can help them control their feeling by teaching them the positive discipline. and syempre, parents must stay calm during the process. if we will equal the same emotions of our toddlers it will just add up to the problem. best is try our best to make them listen to us and just love them the way they are, whether they at their angel or monster mode. :)
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Anne Mercado

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #39 on: October 19, 2011, 06:06:00 pm »

I agree with a lot of the posts here! When a toddler is having a tantrum just ignore, ignore ignore. No matter how long it takes, just ignore her. Eventually she will get tired and learn na when she shouts, walang pumapansin so bakit pa niya gagawin yun?

Although remember that they will still have this behavior since they still can't express themselves. Toddles scream when they don't get what they want kasi they can't talk yet and tell you straight about how they feel.
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carlsant

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #40 on: November 20, 2011, 03:07:45 pm »

hi, can you please give me kasi yung nephew ko kapag sinasama sa mall et turo ng turo at kapag hindi binili or pinagbigyan eh nagwawala at naglulupasay sa pag-iyak. What is the best thing to do?
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momaye

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #41 on: November 21, 2011, 03:38:35 pm »

hi, can you please give me kasi yung nephew ko kapag sinasama sa mall et turo ng turo at kapag hindi binili or pinagbigyan eh nagwawala at naglulupasay sa pag-iyak. What is the best thing to do?

how old na your nephew? tantrums are normal but we should control them too, hinde un sila magccontrol stin.
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annamariemomof3

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #42 on: November 23, 2011, 08:28:15 am »

the best thing is not to give in to what he wants. minsan kasi para tumigil na lang kasi nakakahiya pingatitinginan kayo ibibigay nyo na lang ang gusto which is bad kasi ang tatalino kaya ng mga bata, once na narealize niya na kapag nagtantrums siya eh makukuha niya gusto niya uulit ulitin niya hanggang sa makalakhan na niya yung gawain na yun. stand your ground and set the rules. mappagod din yan at marerealize niya na he cannot get his way.
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momaye

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #43 on: November 24, 2011, 10:19:12 am »

you may wnat to check this post of mine regarding taoddler's tantrums http://momayes.blogspot.com/2011/10/dealing-with-our-toddlers-tantrums.html
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Anne Mercado

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2011, 07:14:17 pm »

I looked at your post Momaye and I agree that one of the best things to do is to ignore or distract kids who have tantrums. A tantrum is just an attention-seeking behavior because kids cant express themselves well or regulate their emotions, the way adults do.

So, if a kid has a tantrum, try to figure out why he is agitated first, then tell him in a calm voice that you will only mind him when he behaves. From there, no matter how much he cries or screams, just don't mind him.
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