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Author Topic: child tantrums  (Read 55909 times)

momaye

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #45 on: December 02, 2011, 08:13:27 am »

I looked at your post Momaye and I agree that one of the best things to do is to ignore or distract kids who have tantrums. A tantrum is just an attention-seeking behavior because kids cant express themselves well or regulate their emotions, the way adults do.

So, if a kid has a tantrum, try to figure out why he is agitated first, then tell him in a calm voice that you will only mind him when he behaves. From there, no matter how much he cries or screams, just don't mind him.

Thank you for visiting my blog. medyo busy lang that is why hinde makaupdate ng posts but i really have so many topics i want to discuss like milk and rda, cloth diaper etc. kaya lang im still compiling reseaches pa. im a working mom kaya masingit singit lang ito.

you are right na habang pinapansin ang mga bata lalo silang nagtatantrums. when it is uncontrollable na talaga, you can distract them. mahirap talagang makalakihan ang ganitong ugali to the point na halos magpakamatay sa pagiyak para lang makuha ang gusto.

that is why as a first time mom, pag may nakikita ako unwanted attitudes ng son ko, nagreresearch ako at nakikipaginteract with other moms. though hinde pare-pareho ang bata, for sure you can learn 1 or 2 lessons naman.
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Anne Mercado

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #46 on: December 06, 2011, 08:02:03 pm »

You're welcome. I enjoyed looking around your blog :) And I also agree that the best way to approach parenting is through research and interacting with other moms. You are right that all kids are different but they need the same thing (ex: consistency, discipline and encouragement).
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Lelen

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #47 on: December 12, 2011, 12:51:13 pm »

I just had experience of this last sat sa mall with my 19 mo old son! Hindi naman because hindi nabili ang gusto niya kase ala pa syang idea sa shopping, (thank God!)

My son loves wheels! Anything na me wheels, un agad ang kinakalikot. Nung sat, yung wheels ng stroller niya ang kinakalikot, When I said no! Hala, ayan na, he threw a tantrum na akala mo aping-api. What I did was, I carried him away from the place, I let him cry and yell. Deadma lang ako. After like a minute, ok na ulit sya. And I was really pleased, hindi ko sya pinagalitan, hindi ko sya inamo-amo, but it worked like magic. I just have to master this art of deadma!  ;D
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smoothie

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #48 on: December 12, 2011, 01:59:14 pm »

I just let him cry and ignore him. maya maya siya na lalapit tapos maglalambing sa akin. hehe
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twelvth_goddess

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #49 on: December 21, 2011, 03:07:35 pm »

It's hard kapag sa labas ng house nagta-tantrums ang kid cus you not only have to deal with a crying kid but you also have to deal with your own stress.

Zoe, at 14 months, is quite assertive. When she wants something, talagang she would really pursue it. Pag hinde pinagbigyan minsan uupo sa floor or iiyak. May isang beses pa yan na sumuot sa ilalim ng bed, nakakaloka. When she has tantrums, I try my best to stop myself from reacting negatively or abruptly. I check muna kung she's hungry or her nappy needs to be changed, or baka naman yung tantrums around her nap time na. As early as now, I talk to her and help her name her feelings kahit umiiyak sya. I ask 'are you hungry?' 'are you sleepy?' ganyan ganyan. Pag wala talaga and umaarte arte lang, I would tell her na I need to do something and she can talk to me when she's done crying/rolling on the floor. Tapos deadma na ko, I read a book or whatever basta sure lang ako na walang something na makakasakit sa kanya.

Nung nagsuot sya sa ilalim ng bed, medyo nainis ako talaga and nataasan ko ng boses. So as expected, iyak pa din. I just picked her up and put her in the mattress tapos hinde ko na pinansin hanggang she stopped crying. Nung tumahan na, saka ko niyakap. Challenging lang magpasensya lalo na pag medyo pagod tapos may ganong moments. Pero I'm trying to be as patient as I can.

Yung naglulupasay sa mall, pag ginawa niya yon sis, I suggest you pick him up and remove him fom the situation. Kase kahit na sya naman may gusto maglupasay, nae-embarass din sya na ganon ang ginagawa niya. Pag inilabas mo sya, iiyak pa din yan pero try to take him into a more secluded place tapos pabayaan mo mapagod umiyak. Pag napagbigyan kase yan, magiging weapon na nila yan. My 2 nephews, ganyan before. Pero ngayon, they have learned that when they go to a toystore, they can either get 1 toy or nothing at all.
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momaye

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #50 on: December 21, 2011, 03:54:23 pm »

kelangan talaga hinde nila makalakihan un attitude nila na ito. its hard for our part kasi sometimes we feel guilty in tolerating them. kaya lang eventually it will naman. just make sure not to hurt them and if you does tell them why. don't ever tell them na kaya mo sila nasakatan kasi mahal mo sya kasi pag lumaki sya there's a tendency they will associate hurting with love. basta iparamdam lang natin na as always we are here for them but of course we can not give them all they want because they must also learn their limitations. sabi ng iba hayaan lang kasi bata pa which is wrong. habang maihuhulma pa natin sila gawin natin kasi pag malaki na sila hinde na natin sila matuturuan or it will be harder for us. yes, iba iba nga talaga ang mga bata at nasa ating mga magulang kung paano natin sila didisiplinahin.

i have a blog that you can visit. please leave a comment and let me know what topics would you want me to discuss. i can do research for you basta i hav etime. im a working mom kasi.

here's my blog: http://momayes.blogspot.com/
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mothadearest

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #51 on: December 28, 2011, 06:16:57 pm »

Best to just let them cry. If you give in, they will learn that is the way to get what they want.
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Anne Mercado

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #52 on: January 19, 2012, 08:26:02 pm »

Best to just let them cry. If you give in, they will learn that is the way to get what they want.

Agree. It's difficult lang kasi you are in a public setting while they are wailing. Remember that if you soothe them while crying (meaning you give into their wants because they are having a tantrums) you are just encouraging negative behavior.
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keiko21be

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #53 on: May 28, 2012, 02:38:39 pm »

I am a working mother of 2 wonderful kids (a boy and a girl). I am looking for a child psychologist because I am seeing changes/problems with my eldest (a boy) regarding his behavior. He is impatient, always having tantrums about everything even with small things and he is always angry. He is telling that he hates his life and we don't love him anymore. It started when her little sister came (everything is fine but now they would fight over toys and attention) and because he is the only child for 6 years and we think that he thinks that all the attention and love is no longer given to him.

All the people around him (his grandparents and aunts) are seeing the mood / behavioral change in him.

I am having a hard time deciding if this is just a phase, like a sibling rivalry; or if I need a professional help.

Hope anyone or someone can share or suggest something that we can do to help him.
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mommatn

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #54 on: May 30, 2012, 01:50:31 am »

Hi Mommies. I also have problems with my 18 mos old baby boy (unico hijo). Pero it's not about tantrums pag hindi nakukuha ang gusto. Well, ginagawa niya rin naman umiyak at maglumpasay sa floor pag may hindi sya nakuha but I let him do it at tumitigil naman pagnapapagod. But my major problem is, takot sya sa tao lalo na pag una syang pinansin hindi yung sya unang namansin. Before napakafriendly ng baby ko, lahat ng tao nginingitian pero ngayon nagtatantrums na kahit relatives namin ni hubby ang nakikita niya. Gusto niya lang sa akin, pero sinasaktan niya ko pag ayaw niya sa mga tao, sinasabunutan, kinakagat at kinukurot niya ako ng bongga. Hindi sya nananakit ng ibang tao. Kami lang ni hubby ang sinasaktan niya pag nagwawala sya. Ang hirap lang kasi wala syang ibang nakikita sa bahay kundi kami lang ni Hubby. May kalaro naman syang neighbors minsan pero pag hindi niya feel yung mga tao nagwawala talaga sya at ako na ang kawawa for sure. One time nagstay kami sa family ko kasi may team outing si Hubby. Parang nakaglue sa akin si baby kasi ayaw nyang sumama sa mom ko, lola ko, sa lahat ng relatives ko. Pag nakikita na nyang papalapit na sila, yayakap na sya ng mahigpit sakin at kukurutin, sasabunutan at kakagatin na niya ako. Ang hirap ng ganito. Everytime may gathering ganito rin ang nangyayari sa amin. Minsan kahit sa mall ganyan sya pero minsan naman tawa sya ng tawa sa ibang tao. Ok sya sa kids, hindi niya lang type ang mga adults. I'm thinking of sending him to a play school, baka sakaling madevelop ang social skills niya. Mga mommies, ano kaya ang magandang gawin everytime sinasaktan niya ako, hindi kasi sya tumitigil agad at talagang nagkakasugat ako sa face. Pinapabayaan ko lang sya pero hindi sya tumitigil. help! :-[
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KVsmommy

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #55 on: May 30, 2012, 02:37:00 am »

Hay my little girl WAS not really 'tantrumera', she's been pretty good-natured for the most part of the so-called 'terrible twos'...BUT before she turned three, mga  a couple of months before siguro (she just turned three this May), she became really whiny. As in lahat iniingit niya. She always as in always insists for things to be done her way, at pag di sya nasusunod, umiiyak sya agad. Hindi naman sya yung tipong nagwawala talaga in public, although minsan she does cry when we go out pag di sya nasusunod, but when we're at home naku....talagang 'warla' mode kami pag nagtantrums sya. She's starting to act like a spoiled brat, and it really stresses me out sometimes. I mean why now that she's three na? Akala ko yung 'twos' yung terrible...

Hindi ko maiwasan minsan, natataasan ko sya ng boses, but I do say sorry naman after, and I explain to her why I got angry. Pero may times na super stubborn sya, what we do is do the face-the-wall-daddy-edition. Nilalabas namin sya sa terrace namin (gates locked of course), and we let her cry and cry there. We tell her she won't be allowed inside until she stops with her tantrums. Eventually, narerealize din niya when she did something wrong and knocks on the screen door na saying sorry. Nandun lang din naman kami looking at  her sa may screen door, di naman puedeng pabayaan sa terrace, baka madulas or something eh.

Hay araw-araw kaming may mga ganitong eksena, as in 90% of the week may ganitong drama....

momaye

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #56 on: May 30, 2012, 11:28:49 am »

I am glad that my 23-month old son can control his emotion. Very masunurin sya and thanks to his new yaya. Parang matanda na mag-isip at pag binawal mo sya titigil. But still, there are times na ayaw pabawal especially pag napapapansin sya. Ganyan kasi mga toddler especially those who are entering the terrible two. Konting tiyaga lang mga mommies, wag na natin sila papatulan and always use the time out. Ang nagwork sa akin, sinasabi ko sa anak ko what will be the consequences of his action and natatandaan naman niya so he won't repeat it. In case naman na iiyak sya when he don't get what he wants, I offer him something na mas maganda for him or ilalayo ko sya sa pinagwawalaan niya. Usually kasi nagpapansin sila kaya nagwawala, as a parent kelangan maging sensitive ka sa needs nila. Ayaw nila ng napagaantay sila so as much as you can magrespond ka sa needs nila especially kung talagang kelangan na niya.
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chococream

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #57 on: June 01, 2012, 12:27:53 pm »

hay naku mga sis, my toddler pag nagtantrums is nagsisira na talaga ng gamet,
tinatapon na niya ang chairs and tables niya, then if me makita na mababasag ayon kinukuha and tinatapon. Most of the time sya ganito pag  nakita niya ang cousin niya na kinakarga ko muna while yong pinsan ko is nagcr or me kinuha.

bigla na syang iiyak, tatapon kung ano makita niya tapos pag hindi pa yon uubra to get me to put the child ayon basag na ang kung ano. madami na talagang nasira ang anak ko.

kinukuha ko talaga sya at nilalabas, iyak pa din ng iyak nagagalet talaga sya tapos sisigaw, maghuhubad ng damit tapos andun na sa floor parang worm. as in super spoiled talaga na behaviour pag galet halos lahat ng andito sa bahay sasabihin na super maldita talaga anak ko.  pero if good mood naman talkative and lively naman sya and play sya ng play yon nga lang pag hindi sya napansin ko agad nko, ewan...kahit me kausap lgn ako sa phone, or tumawag dada niya or kausap lang si MIL tapos me sinabi sya na hindi ko nadinig or hindi ko napansin hay nko ayon na naman magwawala.

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ysLim

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #58 on: June 01, 2012, 01:28:13 pm »

^naku same tayo sis. anak ko rin mahilig magtapon ng gamit para mapansin. kahit di sya umiiyak, pag walang pumapansin sa kanya, ayun magtatapon na ng kung ano-anong madampot sa crib niya. kung nagtatantrums, ganun din magtatapon ng gamit, at worse eh itatapon ang sarili.  :o eh kahoy ang crib niya so nauuntog sya pag ganun tapos lalong iiyak.

medyo nahihirapan akong idiscipline sya kasi sa bahay pag iiyak yan, kung titiisin ko man, hindi naman matiis ng lola o kaya ng tita. kahit nga maid ng isang bata sa bahay hindi rin sya matiis. kukunin tapos dadalhin sa labas. siguro rin kasi iniisip nila baka mastress ako eh buntis ako.

pero syempre ayaw naman namin ni hubby ng ganun kasi nasasanay na sya. so pag nasa bahay kami at nagtatantrums, tinitiis namin talaga, pag pansin namin na kukunin na naman, we firmly say na wag syang kukunin. matatapos din naman iyak niya tapos tawa na ulit. haaayy. ang kulit.

minsan ang ginagawa ko para tumigil, binibigyan ko ng water, syempre uhaw sya sa kasisigaw kaya iinom tapos titigil na.  :)
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chococream

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #59 on: June 01, 2012, 02:00:03 pm »

ewan ko ba sis ysLim

dali syang ma upset, ma frustrate o ganito lang talaga agn age nila. happy toddler naman sya siguro dahil din full attention ko sa kanya kaya parang nagagalet sya pag nawawala ang full attention ko sa kanya. I dont like na na feel na envy, anger, nagtatampo na sya tapos recently lang is iiyak na sya while natutulog. hindi naman sya ganito before

kaya pag sleep na kami, kinakausap ko talaga sya tapos i try at most to explain yong na feel niya. sumasagot din naman sya if why nagalit sya ng ganun or ano bah. sana nga lang hindi sya ma influence sa school niya now, kasi medyo nakita ko din yong mga bata dun mga spoiled brat. crossing fingers nlgn talaga ako nito.
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