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Author Topic: child tantrums  (Read 57008 times)

maphine

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child tantrums
« on: July 16, 2008, 07:15:53 pm »

Basahin sa Smart Parenting:
Paano Mapatahan Ang Batang May Tantrum? 5 Teacher Tips Para Sa Magulang
Click HERE.


Mommies ang Ynzho ko my tantrums na ata!

He would scream if he won't get what he wants or if his toy won't work according to what he desires.
Is this the stage that toddlers would show their own tantrums? I read a lot of articles but still it won't work. Like to ignore him or to talk to him calmly, but it won't really work.Mas nagiging worst kasi kahit nasa labas kami,eating in a resto he would do it.

help!!!

For those mommies na dumaan na sa stage ng mga anak nila ng ganito pls help me get over this.

Thanks a lot! :)

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« Last Edit: January 19, 2020, 01:52:26 am by Parentchat Admin »
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youngmom

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2008, 07:31:33 pm »

time outs use to work for tanrums,o kaya hug him while stroking his back para mag cool down siya and tell him if he does it again in public,di na siya isasama(if he could understand u na)
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javvy820

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2008, 08:46:16 pm »

hi mommy maphine,preggy ako sa eldest ko nun may nabili akong book ang title "happiest baby on the block" and " happiest toddler on the block" unfortunately hindi ko sya nabasa ng buo konti konti lang sa sobrang busy.. Anyway may sinabi dun yun author na nagtatantrums ang bata kasi hindi nila maexpress yun feelings nila and minsan the more na sawayin mo lalo pa nagsisigaw ,, isa sa mga advice niya is yun instead na pagalitan o sabihan ng stop ang gagawin mo parang sasabihin mo na naiintindihan mo sya parang ex. Nagwawala kasi ayaw umandar ng toy ang sasabihin "" o i see ur upset you want it to move ok ok " parang ganun ( hirap iexplain sana maintindihan mo ang gulo ko) yun tell ur child daw what they want to hear tapos pag nakuha mo na yun attention niya tsaka mo iexplain bkit di pwede or bkit ganun nangyari,,you have to get his attention first yun daw secret,, for me nagwork yun as in i consider myself lucky kasi never kahit isang beses nagtantrums sa labas eldest ko since prinactice ko to sa bahay parang feeling ko alam niya na no need magtantrums kasi i understand him,,may isa pa sya sinabi pala yun "toddlerese" yun parang gagayahin mo yun salita niya which is ang bottom line din is to get his attention

Hope sa haba ng kwento ko makatulong hehe :)
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cheiz

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2008, 09:39:50 pm »

Well, I'm not an expert on this field, yet. According to my MIL when our kids starts to have tantrum burst take a deep breath and always imagine how they are feeling. Syempre they (kids) are like midgets in giants world so everything to them is annimated so curious sila sa lahat ng bagay. Kaya pag may mga bagay silang gustong abutin,kunin or gawin and hindi nila ito makuha they cry and at the same time since they are still toodlers hindi pa sila marunong mag salita to say what they what. Sabi nga ng MIL ko PATIENCE.... MORE PATIENCE...
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maphine

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2008, 08:04:41 am »

Thanks mga mommies with your replies.I would really do that slowly to my kid.Your right PATIENCE is the key word. :D

Last night I read a lot of articles regarding tantrums and its possible causes. Some article noted that one cause may be: The child is not only wanting things that he likes but looking for the affection and attention that he used to have from the time that he learns to do his routines now. Like when a child learns to ride a bike with the help of his dad, up to the time that he would learn to drive the bike on his own, he would still look for his dad. It is a fact that boys need dads: Instinctively boys would be more comfortable with dads because they know their similarities.We should consider tantrums alarming when a child would want special attention from a person that he's looking for because this is the stage that the child's development will be based on how you deal with them with gender-gender participation in discipline and actions towards their acts.

I was alarmed with this because Ynzho might be looking for his dad. Before kasi we would take turns of playing with him pero ngayon sometimes he would be playing alone coz I have to do some chores pa.Sometimes he would do his tantrums just to catch my attention. So I was thinking may be my son needs and misses his dads comfort and attention now.

youngmom

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2008, 03:10:35 pm »

that's one possible reason.agree with sis javvy,sometimes u need to understand them to why they'r having tatrums,either bored,pagod na,gutom,antok na.yun kc possible reasons e,or naghahanap ng attention.i'm practicing this now with macky,pag iiyak nalang bigla,i carry him,kung naiyak pa din baka gutom,kung hind baka antok hele,kung hindi padin,i ask him what's wrong baby,and then shift ko attention niya with a toy,o kaya boses puppet then may puppet na kikiis siya(thisusually work talaga).
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redq

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2008, 08:09:27 am »

hi moms,

just want to share and ask help, i have this problem re: my 3yr old daughter's behaviour whenever she wants something and she can't get or have it, or even if you refused to give her what she likes, SOBRANG TANTRUM kahit manghihingi lang sya ng milk or water magwawala pa sya and sisigaw. minsan naman when she asked na gusto niya manood tapos hindi mo sya pinagbigyan kc time to sleep na, sobrang iiyak at sisgaw. i dont know? is this ok ba? ano ba dapat ko gawin, nag woworry kc ako.

i sent her to school just last week lang para kc ma-improove yung social skills niya, fist 3 days ayaw niya talaga pumasok and iyakl ng iyak w/c is definitely normal lang diba? 4th day naiiwan na sya sa loob pero ayaw niya mag participate, nanonood lang sya and when her taecher is inviting her to come with them she will just shout and will say "ayaw". up until now ganon cia. sabi nung teacher niya, mag seek daw ako ng advice or help sa mga Developmental Pedia, para malaman namin kung ano approach ang gagawin namin sa kanya. so un, plan ko give her a week to check if there is like big improovement pag still the same til the end of the week siguro i'l have to seek help na. ask lang po, may alam ba kayo, Developmental Pedia, na magaling of course... and how much ba usually un tsaka ano ginagawa? keep me posted naman po.  thanks a lot!


mom red
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lane.platon

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2008, 10:22:09 pm »

   Hi! We exactly have the same problem-i thought i was the only one who is in that kind of situation-Since Patrick is my only child-and considering that he doesn't have a dad-I try to give whatever he wants-He shouts most of the times when he wants something-and since hes a boy
  at his age(3) he still cant talk that well-I read from an article that usually 2 or 3 years old children specially boys,have these trantrums coz they try to communicate to adults using baby's language and the new words that they are learning-they still cant express exactly what they want or need coz maybe their language is limited-  so when they cant express it -they are helpless and the only way they know how to ask-"WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND ME??"  is thru shouting,crying or even throwing things at you- :) :)


  I also considered enrolling him-I was thinking maybe hes lonely or his attitude might change when            there are many friends or classmates around-but then again,I want him to enjoy his childhood as in no school no waking up in the morning or breaking his usual activities-and ofcourse, the tuition fee-I was so shocked to find out that even a very simple pre school with only 2 rooms nowadays, could cost 35k-45k
Im just thinking of teaching him by myself! hehe :D :D :D


« Last Edit: September 28, 2008, 10:45:54 pm by lane.platon »
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redq

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2008, 11:45:58 am »

hi! thanks sa reply... pareho tayong newbie. you know what this time she is improving, nagpapaiwan na cia sa loob ng classroom and some of the activities nag paparticipate cia, though there are still times na she will told me that she does'nt want to go to school anymore, i'l just talk to her or i'l tell her na we will not going to her school but in her tita's house instead, pero sa school ko pa rin cia dadalhin, iiyak sya pero wala na cia magagawa. pero sabi naman ng mga teacher sa school nila ok lang daw yung ganon attitude but eventually she'll used to it esp pag everyday cia pumapasok. so far happy naman ako atleast diba nag improove cia, no need for dev. ped.

re: sa school ur right expensive nga, like in her school it's a totally play and learning school, they incorporate their teaching with dancing, singing, and playing. the teachers are teaching the kids also how to groom themselves, so when school is done once they go out of the classroom you'll see that they are clean, mabango hindi amoy maasim sa kalalaro, so ok talaga cia for me. however my kamahalan pero kc naisip ko un lang yung way for me siguro na ma improove yung social skill niya, since im working at night and my time is very limited para ipasyal ko pa sya everyday sa mall or sa iba iba place para maka-meet ng other kids diba, but i know there are some ways pa din, but for me applicable yung sending her at school w/c is good naman, siguro doble kayod na lang.....

my advice nama sau re: tantrums, my nabasa kc ako article sa isang parenting magz

Toddler: Tantrums

1. What causes tantrums?
Tantrums don't happen because toddlers are wilful and disobedient, or because you have raised a dreadful child! They simply occur because toddlers haven't learned to accept frustration. When they want to do something but can't, they are overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness and dissatisfaction. The tantrum is simply a release of those feelings. It might help to know that tantrums are common among toddlers. It's estimated that the majority of 2-year-olds have a tantrum at least once a week, which may last from 15 to 30 minutes.

2. Preventing tantrums
There are certain steps you can take to help reduce tantrums. Here are some techniques that might help ward off your child's next tantrum:

    * Limit your toddler's access to toys and activities that are fascinating but too difficult for his age.
    * Watch for fatigue and make sure your child has adequate rest.
    * Look out for signs of over stimulation and when they occur switch the child to a calmer activity.
    * Try to keep "no's" and "don'ts" to a minimum. Instead of "no's" offer distractions and alternatives: Show how to smell the flowers instead of picking them, for example.

3. Getting through a tantrum
Tantrums will end sooner if you simply let them run their course. While it's going on, your toddler needs a sense of your calm control to feel safe. So, try to remember that the tantrum serves a purpose. It's a release of rage caused by feelings of frustration, not hostility.

Sometimes a toddler needs to be left alone in a time out–but never out of sight– and just for a short while. At other times it helps to simply hold the upset child in a gentle and loving embrace. If a tantrum happens in public, it's a good idea to take your toddler to some quiet, relatively private spot until tempers cool.

4. Keep your cool, mom
One of the most difficult challenges is to keep calm in the face of a small child's uncontrolled fury. Yet an angry reaction from you is sure to make your child's tantrum even worse.

As your toddler comes out of the tantrum, offer reassurance and praise for regaining control. Try to forget the upset and look for cheering things to say. The more stable and positive you can be during and after tantrums, the easier it will be for your child to control outbursts of temper as life goes on.

hope this will help. thanks! GOD BLESS!!!

mom red




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chloe_mom

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2008, 12:27:15 am »

Thank you for the enlightenment... Minsan nga naiisip ko san ba ako nagkamali sa pagpapalaki sa 4-yo daughter ko.  She is okay naman at home but challenge na pag nakakita ng kalaro or nasa school.  Either ayaw na umuwi or ayaw makipaglaro.  Parang she is possessive. Kasi pag may stranger sa kanya o hindi niya type na kinakausap ako kahit friend ko, ayaw niya.  Nagsusungit.  She pulls me away or shouts sa kausap ko.  Pansin ko din when she gets overwhelmed with too much attention from not so familiar people, she gets into this behavior.

Not all toddlers are like that kaya minsan, napapaisip ako pag nakakakita ako ng mga "behave" lang.  i do not compare her, though, kasi damaging yun sa self-esteem niya.  She doesn't even like some of her teachers.  Sinasabi niyang "ayoko sa yo!" during "those days".

I observed, though, that more hugs, "I love yous", kisses and pats on the back make a lot of difference.  The frequency and intensity of the tantrums are lessened.  Talking to her at home about such incidents or "misbehaviors" also help.  After processing the whole thing, she has to realize that things are not always according to her standards or ways.  At sinasabi kong love-love naman talaga siya but mali yung ginawa niya.  I make her promise not to do it again when I know na na-realize na niya at wala na talaga siyang resistance.

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kalix

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2008, 10:41:55 am »

my son is turning 5 tomorrow, & thankful ako kasi never pa syang nagtantrum tuwing lalabas kami or nasa mall. pag may gusto naman sya i'll just talk to him sa mahinahon na paraan of course normal lang na umiyak sya pero afterwards wala na. madali lang kasi syang i-pacify. napaka-calm nga daw nyang bata. :)if he wants something at hindi namin kaya at the moment ini explain ko sa kanya. & then i give him other things na magugustuhan niya na hindi kailangan gumastos ng malaki. & i'm proud to say na napaka understanding nyang bata at his age. :) & everyday yan mommies, kinakausap ko sya, about anything! especially bago kami matulog. kung anong ginawa niya, nag-enjoy ba sya, etc. that way alam ko kung anong nararamdaman without forcing him. at na-eexpress pa niya sarili niya. at nasasabi niya pag galit sya, malungkot o masaya sya. at pag galit sya even before binibigyan ko sya ng oras para ma-calm down. tatanungin ko bakit sya galit & i give him outlet para mailabas niya. ex. pag galit na galit sya at gusto nyang manakit. sabi ko suntukin niya yung unan pero hindi kahit kanino. pag naisuntok na niya, bigla din syang mangingiti (nawewerduhan siguro sa ginagawa niya ;D) then parang wlang nangyari. at sa awa ng Dyos never pa syang nanakit ng ibang bata unless, sinaktan sya...

another thing is i've earned his trust. everytime may pupuntahan kami sinasabi ko kung san kami pupunta, anong gagawain namin, anong meron doon at anong i-eexpect ko sa kanya (good behaviour). though normal lang na pag andon sa place eh maglilikot wag lang mananakit or display any bad behaviour. kaya tuwing aalis kami tinatanong niya nako..the same din  pag pupunta kami sa dr niya. pag magva-vaccine sya i tell him, na tutusukan sya. na masakit yun pero sandali lang at mawawala din.expected ko na ayaw niya at matatakot sya pero i tell him na kailanagan niya para hindi sya magkasakit at andon ako para samahan sya. he really trust me up to now. pag sinabi ko naniniwala talaga sya, at pag scared sya i just let him, iniexpress talaga niya feelings niya at the moment na hindi sya natatakot na baka pagalitan ko sya. at kahit paulit ulit nyang tinatanong sakin paulit ulit at mahinahon ko pa rin syang sinasagot. saka sya titigil. natatawa ngako eh paglabas niya ng clinic ni dra, pagkatapos nyang inject at umiyak, sasabihin niya sakin, "tama ka mommy masakit nga pero sandali lang, ang brave ko di ba mommy?" ;D...same din sa school hindi din ako nagkaproblema sa kanya. same din ginawa ko, sinabi ko lahat anong makikita niya don,sinong mga makakasama niya, anong gagawin nila at hindi nyako makakasama sa loob...

i think ang key dito eh communication, teach them how to express their feelings na it's ok to feel that way, earn his/her trust & most especially show your love & appreciation... :)

there's no manual/book on how to be good parents. habang tumatagal natutunan din naman natin maging magulang hindi man perpekto, importante eh maging mapagmahal na magulang sa kanila. sakin importante kilala ko anak ko, alam ko kung anong gusto at ayaw niya. kung anong kaya at limitasyon niya. sa ganon malalaman mo kung pano mo sya iha-handle. you can start it from there. ganon din satin mga mommies...at pag di natin maituro sa kanila kung ano man gusto natin, don't feel bad, loosen up there's still ways. ;) :) :D ;D
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Mommy Lasty

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2008, 10:22:29 pm »

Hi share ko rin un behavior ng 4year old baby girl ko... nung time na wala pang yaya un anak ko un tantrums niya normal at handle ko talaga as in nakakausap ko sya ng maayos then titigil na sya at sobrang okay naman sya like na kakain na sya mag-isa, naaayos niya ang mga toys niya after nyang maglaro and everything... ang problem ko lang sa kanya dati kapag gigising sya talagang mahirap at umiiyak... then nung may this 2008 kumuha ako ng yaya niya age 16years old kasi di ko na sya maaasikaso ng fulltime coz during that time eh pregnant ako then nanganak ako ng august this year lang... after that that wala pang 1month un yaya ng anak ko nagbago na din un anak ko lagi na syang sumisigaw, nananakit, laging umiiyak kapag me gusto, mahirap pakainin, takot maligo at mdami pa... ano kaya sa palagay nyo ang naging problem niya? kasi nahihirapan na ko sa kanya dahil di ko na sya mainitindihan at minsan napapalo ko sya dahil para lang tumigil. help please! thanks.
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anne.nanay

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2008, 11:30:43 am »

when we were growing hindi ubra ang tantrums sa mommy ko.. she would let us cry until mapagod kami,,i can still rememeber and laugh at this na umiyak ako from sm cubao til sa house novaliches.. hindi niya talaga kami aamuhin.. hindi pwede sa kanya yung dadain sa iyak para lang ibigay yung gusto.. hindi siya nhihiya na umiiyak yung anak niya sa mall... kaya lesson is to let kids cry basta hindi nasasaktan, check on them from time to time, they use tantrums to get things according to what they want. and for us parents, just to stop them, bigay na lang.. hahaha
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crazysexycool

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2008, 11:51:32 am »

Sabi din ng mom ko, mas madali magpalago ng negosyo kesa magpalaki ng anak. Lagi nyang sinasabi let your NO be NO and your YES be YES. Kasi children resort to crying, tapos bibigay ka rin, iiyak na lang sha palagi para makuha gusto niya.
 
My 3-year old boy is diagnosed by a Developmental Pediatrician with Hyperactivity, 3 months yung initial therapy namin, ok naman. Medyo naiiyak lang ako kasi parang turture sa bata pag nakita OT niya, alam niya he's being disciplined. Bawal din kasi magwatch while the therapy is on-going kaya aalis ako saka babalikan when the session is finished. Yung advise lang ni Teacher, wag mong papaluin kasi alam niya mapapalo sha, reverse psychology kumbaga, but be firm, show him who's boss.

Ok na kami ngayon, it paid off, pero check pa din every 3 months, just to make sure...
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kalix

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Re: child tantrums
« Reply #14 on: November 24, 2008, 03:09:30 pm »

Hi share ko rin un behavior ng 4year old baby girl ko... nung time na wala pang yaya un anak ko un tantrums niya normal at handle ko talaga as in nakakausap ko sya ng maayos then titigil na sya at sobrang okay naman sya like na kakain na sya mag-isa, naaayos niya ang mga toys niya after nyang maglaro and everything... ang problem ko lang sa kanya dati kapag gigising sya talagang mahirap at umiiyak... then nung may this 2008 kumuha ako ng yaya niya age 16years old kasi di ko na sya maaasikaso ng fulltime coz during that time eh pregnant ako then nanganak ako ng august this year lang... after that that wala pang 1month un yaya ng anak ko nagbago na din un anak ko lagi na syang sumisigaw, nananakit, laging umiiyak kapag me gusto, mahirap pakainin, takot maligo at mdami pa... ano kaya sa palagay nyo ang naging problem niya? kasi nahihirapan na ko sa kanya dahil di ko na sya mainitindihan at minsan napapalo ko sya dahil para lang tumigil. help please! thanks.
mommy, hindi kaya tinatakot o sinasaktan sya ng yaya niya?sana naman hindi...kasi naexperience ko yan dati sa son ko. nagwowork kasi ako non, walang problema sa behaviour ng son ko pero mula nung yung kasambahay na namin nagaalaga sa kanya kakaiba na behaviour niya. inobserbahan ko sya. everytime na lalapit yung kasambahay ko, sinisigawan sya ng anak ko at ayaw magpaiwan sa kanya.so alam ko na na baka may ginagawa sa anak ko. kaya sinabihan ko agad SIL, mom ko at even mga pinsan ko na bantayan at obserbahan ang kasambhay ko pag inaalagaan ang anak ko. at everytime darating ako i asked my son how was his day. at anong ginawa niya, nila ng kasambahay namin. at na mention nga ng son ko na "bad" daw si jenny. hindi niya ina ate dati inaate niya. isa daw syang "witch". tuwing inaalagaan niya anak ko, at silang dalawa lang sa kwarto, bigla na lang akong susulpot para makita ko kung ano man ginagawa niya sa anak ko. kinuwento nga  nga mga pinsan ko na sinisigawan niya daw anak ko at pilit pinapaligpit mga toys niya. kaya pinaalis ko na lang sya. at ang worst, inginudngud daw ng kasambahay ko sa bibig ng anak ko yung tetra pack na juice. pero saka lang sinabi sakin nung nakaalis na. kaya galit na galit ako. kaya observe mo din sis yung yaya ng anak ko mo. at tanungin mo daughter mo...another thing, baka din naghahanap ng attention kasi nga may bago ng baby. have time together without the baby, bonding din kayo. baka yun lang yung hinihintay ng daughter mo... hope it helps! ;) :)
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