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Author Topic: Dealing with the EXes (yours and your partner's)  (Read 54707 times)

chillaxmom

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Dealing with the EXes (yours and your partner's)
« on: March 03, 2010, 08:30:24 pm »

Hi mga mommies,
   just wanna share you my story, hopefully, you could give me a sound advice. THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!!

    During my college days, I had a bf of 4 years, but it was  a long distance relationship. Im from NCR and he's from Region 4. The reason was para makaiwas sa tukso. It was a healthy relationship but when Im in my last year sa college, my mother talked to me if im really sure that he's the one.kasi 3 years older sya sakin and that time di pa sya nakakagraduate ng course niya... tapos papalit palit pa. Since Im the only girl, super protective talaga sya. When I landed a job after graduation, he's still studying. during summer that year, ngbakasyon ako sa hometown ng parents ko for a month. Part na rin ng cooling off stage kasi ilang bses na kami nag usap about future plans pero wala pa rin syang plans kahit sa sarili niya. He knew I will be in the province for a week, so nung 2 weeks na ko, may mga threats na sya sa fon. hanggang 3 weeks, di na umuuwi sa kanila, dun na sa kapitbahay namin tumatambay kasi naging barkada na niya to the point na nablackmail ako kasi kung di pa ko uuwi ng manila, magpapakamatay na sya...
     In short, umuwi ako ng manila after a month. The point is, if he trusts me, he will not do those stupid things. I got hurt sa ginawa niya. para akong naeskandalo sa lugar namin. Nung bumalik na ko sa work, cool off na kami but he's really trying to win me back thru blackmail... like grave threats, pagiging stalker,to the point of telling different stories which should have damaged my morality.  My employer did not believe him. One of my friends reported the case to the NBI.
        In short, NBI already planned to catch him because of those misconduct. Eventually, on that day, na dapat magkikita kami, he texted me na di na niya ako guguluhin... end of story.
     after 6 years, he saw me in FB. he gave his number, he sent my husband a message (better not cheat). Na paranoid naman ako as usual, so I called him and asked him kung ano na talaga ang problema kasi nananahimik na ko. He told me na for the past 6 years, he's thinking about me everyday. kasi napakabigat daw ng dindala niya. yung mga ginawa niya saking issues and everything, di daw sya matahimik. I told him na we have to move on, ok na ko, ok na sya, pareho na kming may family. I WAS RELIEVED after that talk.  As to my husband, ok lang sa kanya na nagcommunicate kami kasi nakikita niya naman ako na everytime makarinig ng name ni X di na ako agad mapakali, I m too afraid sa mga next moves niya before, pero after namin mag usap that time, parang nabunutan ako ng napakalaking tinik.
       The next day, eto na ang wife... nagtxt na mhal pa daw ako ng husband niya at ang daming mga bstos na words na sinasabi sakin, pretending he's my X. I never believed her kasi ang ganda ganda ng usapan namin ni X at nafeel ko ang repentance and sincerity ni EX.
      Question: Should we still communicate?

It was the day
when we said goodbye for the last time
with all the heartaches, anger, fear, regret
and curse of what had happened
for six long years, I bore the dilemma within myself

as I tried to pretend to be okay
and everybody believed me
behind the strong character is a weakling ---
 so fragile, so helpless, and so vulnerable

and when something’s reminding me of the past
I easily get distracted
very much afraid to sense even your shadow
or hear the echo of your name

despite those pretences, I long for this time
where we can release the pain,
talk freely and pick up the pieces
though reality’s barking that we can’t mend it perfectly

we agreed to give it a try
to let go of the past and start anew
another kind of friendship
that’s so comforting and true

And in just a blink of an eye
Everything was shattered!
Truly, destiny will not permit it.
So better keep it locked...........


na inspire pa ko gumawa ng poem haaaay!
        pasensya na, ang haba.


THANKS SO MUCH mga sisses!!!

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yhamslove®

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Re: EXes..........
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2010, 09:08:38 pm »

      Question: Should we still communicate?

If I were in your shoes... no nalang.. even if he has good intentions or only has friendly purposes why he communicated with you again after that span of time. Ayan na nga eh.. nagulo na yung nananahimik mong buhay.

Okay lang sana kung wala nang mauungkat about sa past... kung meron.. it will always lead to topics associated with your past relationship with him... which i think is not healthy because you are both married already and awkward din ang feeling di ba?

Opinion ko lang yun sis... kung ako, wag na lang...
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mimi27

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Re: EXes..........
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2010, 10:16:06 pm »

dapat sa FB pa lang dmo na sya inentertain.Better delete all his contact #s.Delete mo sa FB kung friend mo sya.Pag ngtext or tumawag ignore mo lang.POV ko po. 8)
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luisa_ria

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Re: EXes..........
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2010, 10:27:21 pm »

Dont live with the shadow of the past. Your ex has black plans at the back of his mind unconsiously. He's taking risk with your spouses at stake. He's too dangerous to get along with in any way. Do you still have feelings for him? It shows from the way you reacted to the issue. Tell everything to your hubby. Honesty will set you free from worries. With hubby on your side, you can get through it! :)
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mommy_geli

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Re: EXes..........
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2010, 11:39:55 pm »

sis in someway we have are in same situation... its hubby's ex that is nanggugulo sa amin. and his ex's friend.

ang ginawa ko ni-report ko yung ex niya. di ba sa fb meron yung report... so ayun ni silip ng profile ng hubby ko hindi niya pwedeng gawin. yung friend naman ng ex ng hubby ko sa ym naman ako inaway... edi inalam ko yung lahat lahat about dun sa girl. eh nung one time sinabihan ba naman akong duwag.. edi nilagay ko sa shout out ko sa ym eh batanguenyang matrona. edi napahiya sya. since then nanahimik na sila. tapos delete na rin sila sa contacts ng hubby ko. at hubby ko na rin  yung umiwas.

kaya sis ganun na lang din ang gawin mu. as much as possible iwasan mu siya. at i-block mu siya sa fb mo.

chillaxmom

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Re: EXes..........
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2010, 06:27:20 am »

THANKS SO MUCH mga sis!
 sis luisa_ria and mommy yham's love,
       actually wala namang feeling, i somehow felt guilty kaya gusto ko rin alamin life niya. di sya nktapos ng school after that happened. nothing's intense bout the past more on friendship talaga. sa 4 years na we're together once a month lang kami mgkita nun. my husband knows EVERYTHING that's why he did not feel any insecurity.
   mommy_geli and lianna's mommy
      matagal ko ng na block sda FB yung account nila ng wife niya.

    thanks sa advices, I sure am willing to move forward now.
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MissPychi

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Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2010, 10:31:39 am »

Hi mommies!

Although past is the past, hubby likes to bring up stories or remember one of his ex's.

Kasi yung "ex" daw niya na yun ang naka "una" kanya plus, mas older sa kanya at that time (school age pa siya nun) and maganda.  Si hubby yung third party sa relationship nila. For him, parang "trophy" daw yung ex niya.

Hindi ko siya masyadong pinapansin kapag napupunta na sa topic na ito, sometimes nire-reverse psychology ko na nga, but there are times na nakaka-irita na.  I don't even know if kino-compare niya ako sa kanya.

If I were to bring up my past naman, nagagalit siya.  Bihira ko lang naman gawin ito, kapag na-asar na ako sa kanya under the same topic.

I'm confident na mahal naman ako ni hubby, but if you were in my shoes how would you react? Kakainis diba?
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thirdysmom

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2010, 10:45:48 am »

sis Pychi,

Ako, oo. maiirita ko. E kung ang magaling lang sa kanya eh yung ex niya e sumiksik siya dun!  >:( ;D

although si hubby naman baligtad, ayaw niya nabobrought up yung past niya. pero before, meron din siya lagi kinukuwento na "best friend" daw niya at lagi niya din ibinibida yung mga accomplishment sa buhay. then I found out (thru my extensive research hehe) na ex pala niya yun. sabi ko sa kanya: "oh yung ex mong magaling na manager ng bangko nagtetext na para magreport ng accomplishments niya at ikumpara sa akin!"

simula nun, wala ng ganung usapan.  ;D
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Mommy France

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2010, 11:03:29 am »

Ay naku, nakakaasar nga yung mga topic na ganyan lalo na pag-inuungkat. Si hubby kasi seloso at alam ko naman na maraming girls yung patay na patay sa kanya nung binata pa cia. Minsan biglang hihirit ng mga escapades nilang barkada. Hindi naman cia nagsasabe ng traits ng exes niya pero parang nakakaasar lang pag parang namimiss niya yung mga panahon dati na iba pa ang ka-relasyon niya.

Tumatahimik lang ako nung una pero nung nakaka-ilang ulit na nagsalita na talaga ako. Sabe ko "Gusto mo ba makarinig saken ng mga ganyang bagay?" Tapos sabay talikod.

Nag-sorry naman cia. Minsan bumabanat pa rin pero winawarning-an ko na.
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yhamslove®

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2010, 03:45:11 pm »

Baliktad naman ako... sa aming mag-asawa ako ang nag-oopen up ng topics about our exes...

sasagot si hubby "Ha? Sino yun? Nakalimutan ko na eh.."

Hindi kase naging maganda ang buhay/experience niya with his 2 exes kaya siguro ayaw niya i-bring up yung ganung topic. The first one made him cry a river. The second one did the same too... pero hindi river... bucket of tears nalang  ;D... at laging sinasabi ng asawa ko, ayaw rin daw niyang pag-usapan kase it reminds him of that once (or twice) in his lifetime he became that stupid.

Actually, everytime our topic is about our exes, nagtatawanan lang kami, nang-ookray!  ;D
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mama_kat

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2010, 04:17:41 pm »

sana nagkaron din ako ng EX  ;) kaso takot ako non siguro dahil na rin sa family background ko....hindi naman kasi ako kagandahan pero may mga nagpapansin din  ::) tsaka hindi ko nakikita yong mga signs sa kanila na hiningi ko kay Mama Mary...so ayun po nong mamet ko si hubby ay bf na eto at alam ko eto na nagiging kasama ko habangbuhay although minsan may problema pero nafifix din naman :P

husband ko nagkaron ng gf during his highschool days maganda kung sa maganda yong girl kaso nagkaron sila ng problema (family nong girl parang matapobre) kaya ayun nauwi sa break...si husband ko naman gustong gusto ko magkukuwento sya sa past nila nong hindi pa alam ng family nong girl na sila yong mga takas... ;D wala ako ang kinikilig hahaha...ngayon ka prendster ko yong ex ni hubby mayaman din ang naging asawa nasa america na sila ngayon...


sis MissPychi baka hindi naman po intention ni hubby i-compare ka dun sa EX niya tapos pag kayo po nagkukuwento about naman sa EX nyu nagagalit ay eenjoy mo na lang po mga kuwento niya tungkol sa EX niya  ;) para hindi magalit sya lang pagkwentohin nyu 

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MissPychi

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2010, 04:46:46 pm »

Hi mama_kat!

Actually hindi naman makitid utak ko and I don't mind mag kwento ka ng past, but the problem is, it's the same person and same situations lagi.  Napaka-unforgettable talaga yung EX niya na yun sa kanya.  Siguro paminsan ginagamit na niyang pang-asar sa akin yun... effective kasi.  >:(

It''s like... kunwari, magkasama kayo, pero ang attention at ang mata niya nasa ibang girl... parang ganun ang feeling ko. Well... nakaka-asar diba?
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mama_kat

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2010, 05:08:58 pm »

sorry po napakwento lang...
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thirdysmom

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2010, 05:14:46 pm »


Actually hindi naman makitid utak ko and I don't mind mag kwento ka ng past, but the problem is, it's the same person and same situations lagi.  Napaka-unforgettable talaga yung EX niya na yun sa kanya.  Siguro paminsan ginagamit na niyang pang-asar sa akin yun... effective kasi.  >:(


nakakaasar talaga yang ganyan sis Pychi. Nung minsan ako naman yung gumulat kay hubby. sabi ko : "yung ex mong paborito mo, may anak na!". nganga siya. di niya alam sasabihin tapos bigla na lang niya nai-comment: "may pumatol pala dun". sagot ko "oo, isa ka di ba?"

may halong bitterness!  ;D
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MissPychi

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Re: Your hubby's EX-GFs
« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2010, 05:38:09 pm »

sis thirdysmom, natawa nama ako sa sagutan niyo ng hubby mo!  ;D

Haay... napatawa mo talaga ako. hahaha!
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