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Author Topic: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!  (Read 11757 times)

mumzeth

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how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« on: August 25, 2011, 05:23:49 pm »

Basahin sa Smart Parenting. Click this to read full article.
Discipline Tactic: 'Ayokong Magpaliwanag Habang Galit Sya'


hi mga sis share ko lang po prob ng tita ko..

yung tita ko OFW mom at nabyuda ngayong taon lang july 15 to be exact.. yung anak niya lumaki dun sa side ng hubby ni tita so yung way of discipline/handling sa bata iba in the sense na hindi pinagsasabihan kahit mali yung ginagawa in short kunsintidor, 8 years yung bata sa side ng ILs ni tita.. Ngayon kinuha ng tita ko yung anak niya kasi hindi sila magkasundo ng mga ILs so ayun ngayon nasa parents ng tita ko yung cousin ko.. pano ba niya ihahandle kasi super sumasagot pabalang yung anak niya sa kanya and sinisigawan nung anak yung nanay.. nakiusap kasi sakin yung tita ko napaliwanagan ko yung bata.. pano ko ba paliliwanagan? pano ko ipapaintindi?

malayo kasi tita ko kaya sakin niya ipinapasuyo..

salamat po sa mga sasagot...

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« Last Edit: November 12, 2020, 09:17:01 pm by Parentchat Admin »
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mariann

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2011, 10:11:38 pm »

mahirap yan sis, kasi di mo naman anak, di rin lumaki sa yo.  hindi rin si mom niya maka-discipline. primarily malayo sya and hindi rin sya nagpalaki sa anak niya.
 
i guess what you can do is to talk to that child that what she's doing is not proper and being respectful.  first you have to instill on her mind the reason why her mom has to work abroad because she might have some resentments why her mom was not there to take care of her.  worse, she may have been brainwashed by the other side. 
 
problema kasi, baka kung mapagalitan and magsabing nang "mabuti pa doon sa kabila, hindi sya pinapagalitan."  so better find out first why she is being like that.
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mumzeth

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2011, 06:21:52 pm »

maraming salamat sis mariann..  actually iniisip ko rin na bakit ko gagawin? bakit ako makekealam e hindi ko naman anak.. pero kasi sobrang naawa din ako sa tita ko sila nalang kasi magkakampi.
nasabi na nga sakin nung pinsan ko na "buti pa sa bulacan(don kasi sya) hindi ako pinapagalitan. hindi ako love ni mommy." tapos syempre sinabi ko.. "bhe, mahal ka ni mommy wag mong iisipin yung ganyan..kaya ka po napagalitan kasi po may mali po sa nagawa mo ayaw ni mommy ng ganun."ewan ko kung tama yung mga nasabi ko.. pero nabobother ako kasi sobra naman sa pagsagot.. sige hindi ko susukuan kausapin.. salamat sis.
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lynnequintana

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2011, 05:16:07 pm »

Hi mumzeth. tama lang po yung sinabi mo sa kanya..

ovenal

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2011, 06:24:15 pm »

hi mumzeth! You can be of help to your pamangkin by being a friend to her/him. You can try to talk to your pamangkin as an adult, tell her about her/his mom's life story, how he/she was taken cared before her mom left  to work overseas., the reasons why she grew up with her/his dad's families. You can start from there sis, that way you would be able to know her/his sentiments as she/he opens her/his heart to you. It will not be an overnight thing but patience and gentleness will melt her/his pride and anger. Goodluck gurl! Sino pba mag gagabay sa ating mga mhal kundi rin tayo diba?
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mumzeth

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2011, 07:39:37 pm »

hi mom ovenal! welcome to sp po. :D maraming salamat po sa advice nyo.. tama po kayo na hindi nga overnight ang trabahong ito at mahaba habang pasensya at pang-unawa ang dapat. maraming maraming salamat po..

hi mom lynnequintana. marami pong salamat.. :D atleast im on the right track. :D
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Read John 3:16 but replace the blanks with your name..

"For GOD so loved _______ that he gave his one and only Son, so that if ________ believes in him, _______ will not perish but have eternal life."

 just wanna share how much GOD loves us.. :)

toughmom moderator

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2012, 02:03:43 am »

Here are 10 common “nay” statements that can be turned to “ayes”:

1. Instead of “Don’t do that!”
Try “Mommy would be happy to see you do this instead.”

2. Instead of “Stop crying or else!” or “Don’t be a cry baby.”
Try “I know that you felt bad about what happened, Mommy is here to help you.”

3. Instead of “I’m busy.”
Try “I want to play with you. Mommy just needs to finish something important and then we can play.”

Read more:
Positive Parenting: 10 Phrases that will Make your Child Listen
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/positive-reinforcement-10-phrases-that-will-make-your-child-listen

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kiko18

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2012, 02:08:29 pm »

kids these days sobrang kakaiba.
kala mo tropa ka lang nila. this is one of my dilemma. haay!
as much as possible i talk to them like adults and its not nice or proper to
talk back to elders. spoiled kasi ng lola eh kaya ngayon hirap akong
disiplinahin.  :(
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maivy

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2012, 03:12:12 pm »

Mga mommies at daddies narin,

help naman o..We've been facing the same dilemma sa youngest namin, a boy aged 6. Grabe,ang pagtalk back niya sa amin ng daddy niya,minsan sagad na sa buto ang sakit.. parang napapaisip na ako,san kaya niya nakukuha mga ganun?
pag napapagalitan siya sometimes sasabihin niya "ayoko na dyan sa daddy na yan,galit na galit na ako kay daddy" o misan "sana wala na lang si daddy"
grabe mga mommies,hindi ko na alam gagawin ko eh.
gusto ko na nga siyang dallhin sa child psychologist para lang malaman ano gagawin namin sa kanya. para ma-assess siya,kasi napakahirap niya idisiplina.
frustrated na ako,kasi pagod na ako sa kakahanap sa google para lang maintindihan ko bunso namin,at kung anong effective way para madisiplina siya,
araw-araw mga mommies problema ko 'to sa bunso ko.pero pag maayos naman lahat, he is such a sweet young boy..
na-spoiled ata namin siya,kaya ngayon hirap na hirap kami sa kanya,
salamat mga sisses sa help nyo ha..
sana marami ang sumagot...

by the way, sa tingin nyo ba makakatulong if dadalhin namin siya sa child psychologist para ma-assess yun behavior niya?magkano kaya yun?any ideas if may libre bana ganun?nasa san pedro laguna area kami eh..

I've been thinking of transferring them na rin ng school (we are Catholics),,yun school kasi nila non-sectarian (tama ba ako?), baka sakaling magbago siya pag nilipat ko sa isang Catholic school. sa sobrang desperado ko na,kung ano-ano na naiisip ko na paraan.

thanks!
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jealousygirl

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2012, 05:56:42 pm »

It is also one of my Dillemma..


I also badly need help on how to discipline my only daughter,, may times kasi na She is not listening, yung pag may sinabi ako parang wala siyang naririnig,, deadma and i hate it. so there was a time talaga na napapagalitan ko siya, na e spunk, but as much as possible sobrang haba ng pasensya talaga pinaiiral ko.. Im a working mom at the same time single mom, so ang naiiwan lang sa bahay yung nagbabantay sa kanya na pinsan ko, ( pamangkin ng stepmom ko ) eh may times na willing willi sa pag ttxt, panunuod. I'm thinking minsan na siguro fault ko kasi hindi ko siya napapag tuunan ng time,. Her behavior changed a lot simula nung nagkaron siya ng yaya na monster.. ( sorry for the term )
so parang tumigas ang ulo niya because of her.. I dont know what to do anymore, kasi napapabyaan na rin niya ang studies niya,, kaya nag w worry ako ng sobra,, Gusto ko nga sana siya ipa try ng sports. kaya lang hindi afford ng salary,, kung sana may mga cheap rate lang, like swimming, taekwondo..
She is sweet naman, though yun nga lang medyo may katigasan na ulo niya.. :'( :'(   sana mabago ko.
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kiko18

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2012, 09:32:01 am »

this is one of my dilemma as a single parent. feeling yata ng anak ko eh tropa lang kami. irita talaga ako pag sumosobra sila so at first i remind them na im serious sa usapan namin and im their mom. at pag inulit uli ignoring my reminder saka ko sila pinapagalitan. >:(
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sweet&spice

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2012, 04:38:57 pm »

my baby is just 5yo. i am a single parent, and thankfully, hindi naman sya palasagot, kasi 'tono' pa lang ng sagot, nasisita ko na. he's extremely talkative, so may tendency that he would reason, on and on, and on....before following something. he needs to understand the logic behind the instruction before he does something and when he doesn't want to do something, ang galing din naman mag-rason.

hopefully, ganito lang sya hanggang sa lumaki sya. i want to keep an honest, open, amiable and yet respectful communication with my son, although sometimes, yung temper talaga nandyan. ako pa rin naman ang super hero niya, so i get his adoration and love...siguro kapag hindi na, mahirap na rin silang i-parent.

when i hear him say something not nice, i immediately correct him, and say gently ...
me:  'baby, that's not nice. you're mad at me?
him: no. i didn't shout naman ah. i didn't say...'mommy, why do you do that?!!!!'
me:  you didn't shout? but why is your voice so loud? i can hear naman ah.. you want mommy to talk to you in a loud voice also, like you?
him:  no.
me:   so, what do you do?
him:  talk softly.
me:  really? promise?
him: yes.
me:  and...? what will you say?
him:  i'm sorry mom for shouting. i'm not mad.

littlest sign of rebellion, like raising their voice, or yung sinasabihan mo tapos sa iba nakatingin, i re-direct his attention to me, and talk to him. ayoko kasi talaga ng palasagot na bata. mainitin ang ulo, baka masaktan ko sya, kapag sinagot-sagot niya ako. :o
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BrightasDay

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2013, 12:42:27 am »

This is the MAIN reason kung bakit ako nag rejoin ulit - sharing views and sentiments can really help lessen the bewilderment and pain.  :) :'(

First off - I feel for the the auntie's dilemma with her pamangkin. But understandably, the kid is going through a rough time and maybe the child is still coping with the loss of his/her father and the familiar environment he/she grew up in. 8 ba kamo yung bata? At that age, my son, started yelling "I Hate You" many times a day - and I reared him myself. LOL. ;D This situation will take some time. I think na overwhelm lang lahat ng tao - the mom and the kid with the new set up. Ang importante lang maramdaman ng bata na secure sya - na hindi na sya ililipat.

Second - sa ibang mga parents rito na kapwa kong nangangamba sa pagsagot ng kabataan ngayon, I think we have to examine also ourselves and our habits as parents. Paki search na lang yung "How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children", the article from PsychCentral... I just learned a lot from that, hope it can help you guys too.
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toughmom moderator

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2013, 02:21:14 am »

When Kids Talk Back: What Parents Need to Do

Is your child being disrespectful, or is he simply giving his opinion? Here’s where to draw the line, and how to deal with it.

http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/when-kids-talk-back-what-parents-need-to-do
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Angela07

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Re: how to discipline a child na palasagot? help!
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2014, 02:29:53 pm »

Agree ako sa post ni ToughMom. Yan ang tamang approach sa mga bata ngaun. Thanks po for sharing the link.
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