Parent Chat

Advanced search  

News:

Announcement: Smart Parenting is giving away prizes like overnight stay at Pico de Loro, car seats from Baby Company, Gymboree membership and more. Just answer the Smart Parenting 2020 Reader Survey to qualify.  Click HERE to answer the survey.


Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7

Author Topic: child support or " sustento "  (Read 62218 times)

singlemoma

  • Guest
child support or " sustento "
« on: April 23, 2010, 12:31:08 pm »

Mod's note:
Read Smart Parenting's Quick Guide for Pinoy Single Parents: 5 FAQs on Financial Support on this link:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/real-parenting/quick-guide-for-pinoy-single-parents-5-faqs-on-financial-support-a1162-20170919


hello mga sis
 
medyo magulo talaga isip ko thats why im soliciting advice from you guys. Im on my 35th week of pregnancy.my relationship with the sd is ok naman as in wala talaga kameng problema before almost perfect na nga eh at alam ko talaga kung gano niya ako mahal but everything changed when i told him im pregnant.he is 24 and im 25 and he told me hinde sya handa kasi parang kagagaling lang ng mom niya sa heart attack kasi yung bunso nila ay nakabuntis din.so pinag usapan namin maigi sabi ko ok lang kahit wag muna malaman sa kanila in time masasabi din namen.never po akong nag ask ng kasal sya yung nag offer kaya lang hinde namin naayos kasi hinde namin alam kung pano kame mag papakasal ng ganun sitwasyon.that time he is jobless so ako lahat ang sagot sa expenses sa vitamins checkup etc.lately lang nalaman sa bahay na pregnant ako ok naman sa parents ko sabi ko.nag pa tulong sya sakin na mag process ng papers pa abroad and last january nakaalis na nga sya.still ok pa din kame feel ko pa din yung love niya kahit malayo na sya recently nag away kame dahil sa pera kasi nanghinge ako sa kanya at wala pa sya maibigay so parang sa pressure may nasabi ako di maganda nagalit sya at nagkatampuhan kame recently lang po eh were back together again as in bati na kame last april 13 bday niya iprepared a slide show na i uupload ko sana sa fb niya to greet him but to my surprise may shout out sya sa fb niya saying miss na miss na kita mahal kong (his x's name) sobrang na shock po ako talaga and i read older posts of him nagkakausp nga sila nung x nila very sweet at inlove.muntik na po ako mapa anak ng maaga nun sa sobrang hiblood ko.i texted him asking kung anong kasalanan ko sa kanya at bakit ganun isa lang po ang naging sagot niya sa marami kong text sa kanya sabi niya wala daw ako kasalanan sya ang may problema sory daw sa nagawa niya yung lang po untill now hinde na po sya nag paparamdam as in kahit text.

Mga sis ano ba dapat kong gawin alam kong dapat ko syang kausapin para once and for all mag kalinawan na.kasi parang gusto kong hintayin na sya ang magparamdam kung ano ang gusto niya mangyari,gusto ko din kasi manghinge ng support kasi im due this may tama po ba ng manghinge ng support.naguguluhan po kasi ako dahil sa depression na nararamdaman ko i feel betrayed sobrang sakit.please help me mga sis.

thank you very much po.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2017, 09:09:52 pm by Mommyjazz »
Logged

charmseah

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
    • pinkmomma
Re: what to do?please help me
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2010, 12:50:08 pm »

i know how u feel.. ive been in medyo same situation din. my advice is siguro for now ifocus mo muna lahat ng attention and time mo sa magiging baby mo.. try not to stress urself too much makakaafect yan sa baby. and ipaacknowledge mo sha sa birth certificate ng baby para di sha makatakas sa responsibility niya noh.. at least legal pwede mo shang i sue kapag di sha nagbigay ng financial support. thats what im going to do din kasi paglabas ng baby ko, pareho tau girl ako lahat magshshoulder ng expenses as in lahat lahat.

masakit talaga yung gnawa niya, mahirap talaga, isipin mo nalang lagi yung magiging baby mo. mas important un  :) keep safe!
Logged
Charm Caliboso

VISIT MY BLOG:
http://pinkmomma.com/

☆♥♡unica hija☆♥♡

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 419
  • Joshua - the only man constant in my life
    • View Profile
Re: what to do?please help me
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2010, 12:51:56 pm »

alam ba ng ex ni SD mo na buntis ka? how about SD's family, hindi pa din ba nila alam hanggang ngayon kalagayan mo?
Sulatan mo si SD asking him what plans he has for you and your baby? And tell him to also reply via snail mail. I mentioned sulat kasi pwede gamitin ebidensya (for child support) yun kesa email if ever itanggi niya anak niya ( hope not). Or call him and talk to him. Have the conversation recorded also (again for future evidence)

Magcomment ka sa fb niya - something about you and your future baby - something like "Daddy, baby is excited to see you" 

POV lang po.
Logged
[move]

Shanelleô

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 470
  • i could not ask for more...
    • View Profile

grabeh i can relate here. nagpaparamdam si SD pero di ko na pinapansin.... Im moving on with my baby. Tama sila sis.. focus your time and attention sa baby mo... you are just wasting your time sa SD. I am a believer of Karma. Bahala na sha basta kami ni baby  - happy! :) My world will go on even without him
Logged


Anika Gabrielle will be turning 3. How time flies so fast! She's already a big, big girl.

Mommy France

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1649
  • Lucky to be loved by 2 boys
    • View Profile

Don't think negative thoughts mommy. Easier said than done pero kailangan mong isipin yung health ninyo ni baby mo.

Sinabi na niya na di pa cia ready. So I guess kahit hindi ka pa buntis baka may nakikipag-communicate na cia sa ex niya. Ikaw din naman ang magdedecide how you want him to be part ng buhay mo, lalo na sa buhay ng anak mo. What if di cia magbigay. What if magbigay. Ikaw ang magdecide pero always prepare for the worst kasi nga may comment na ciang "hindi pa cia ready"

Sa totoo lang bilib ako sa mga mommies na kinakayang mag-isa kapag loko-loko ang mga mister kasi alam kong sobrang hirap na mag-decide and i-accept na mag-isa ka lang for your son.

I just hope that you find strength.
Logged
I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

cleopatra

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 42
    • View Profile

^Congress has already criminalized (only against fathers) the withholding of support in certain instances. See Republic Act No.9262 - Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004.

I like the suggestion though of mommy unica hija.
Logged

danegerous_429

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 529
    • View Profile
    • http://www.danerelente.blogspot.com

first thing you have to be - STRONG!!!
dapat wag kang masyadong papaapekto even if it hurts so much. the pain will go away as time goes by
you can try to ask for his support but if he declines then that's enough
pero I hope you can let his family know about you kasi unfair yun baka nagdadahilan lang yung guy

kainis sya after all that you been tru iiwan ka nalang niya ng ganon nalang??????

GRR!!!!

Just be strong for your baby!!!
he will soon realize what he LOST!!!
Logged


Please visit my blog http://www.danerelente.blogspot.com

your laughter is our happiness ,.,.,
kyla, nini and didi loves you so much ..,

singlemoma

  • Guest

Salamat sa mga advice mga sis lalo tuloy lumalakas loob ko sobra... ill talk to him in regards with support at kung ayaw niya bahala sya sa buhay niya,im on my 36th week na almost full term and i really cant wait to see my baby alam ko sya lang talaga ang mkakapawi ng kalungkutan ko..Alam ko naman na hinde ako pababayaan ni lord kelan ba naman niya tayo pinabayaan :) Salamat po sa mga advice nyo sana nga wala ng girl na makaranas nito kasi hinde talaga madali.
Logged

singlemoma

  • Guest

just an inspiration corny but it means a lot

MAY BUKAS PA

Huwag damdamin ang kasawian
May bukas pa sa iyong buhay
Sisikat din ang iyong araw
Ang landas mo ay mag-iilaw

Sa daigdig ang buhay ay ganyan
Mayroong ligaya at lumbay
Maghintay at may nakalaang bukas

May bukas pa sa iyong buhay
Tutulungan ka ng Diyos na may lalang
Ang iyong pagdaramdam
Idalangin mo sa Maykapal
Na sa puso mo ay mawala nang lubusan

Sa daigdig ang buhay ay ganyan
Mayroong ligaya at lumbay
Maghintay at may nakalaang bukas

May bukas pa sa iyong buhay
Tutulungan ka ng Diyos na may lalang
Ang iyong pagdaramdam
Idalangin mo sa Maykapal
Na sa puso mo ay mawala nang lubusan

Ang iyong pagdaramdam
Idalangin mo sa Maykapal
Na sa puso mo ay mawala nang lubusan
Logged

mademoiselleigh

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 21
  • Lucas is my everything...
    • View Profile

Hi SingleMoma,

The story of our lives has some semblance of similarities, just like you --- I am also a single mom. So when I tell you that I know how you feel, I really do.

Right now, confronting him is just secondary to making sure that you and your baby is safe. At this stage of your pregnancy, you have to eliminate all sorts of things that would harm you and your baby. I know it sounded impossible, but it could be done. Draw strength from your friends, your family and most all, from your baby.

Based on your story, heís publicly hurt you by writing that shout out fully knowing that you are going to learn about it. In my book, that was a coward attempt on his part to get the message across that itís finally over between the two of you. If that isnít clear enough, think again. The fact still remains that heís out there declaring to the rest of the world his love for someone else. Wake upÖ

Losing him doesnít make it the end of the world. Use that as your motivation to find a new life for you and your baby.

No amount of planning, anticipating or caution can assure us of our lifeís outcomes. We just have to admit the fact that it doesnít always work out exactly the way we want it to. In fact it often turns out nothing at all like we ever imagined. But it doesnít stop there.

If at some point you feel alone in this journey, think of me --- and the rest of all the single moms out there in the world, living our lives to the fullest.

Life isnít tied with a bow, but itís still a gift, so embrace it.

I wish you well.
Logged
I never know how much love my heart could hold until someone called me "Mommy".

grace822

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 52
  • i still have faith in you..
    • View Profile
Re: what to do?please help me
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2010, 07:06:46 pm »

i know how u feel.. ive been in medyo same situation din. my advice is siguro for now ifocus mo muna lahat ng attention and time mo sa magiging baby mo.. try not to stress urself too much makakaafect yan sa baby. and ipaacknowledge mo sha sa birth certificate ng baby para di sha makatakas sa responsibility niya noh.. at least legal pwede mo shang i sue kapag di sha nagbigay ng financial support. thats what im going to do din kasi paglabas ng baby ko, pareho tau girl ako lahat magshshoulder ng expenses as in lahat lahat.

masakit talaga yung gnawa niya, mahirap talaga, isipin mo nalang lagi yung magiging baby mo. mas important un  :) keep safe!


sis, ngayun kasi kung di kayo kasal then ipapangalang mo sa kanya yung baby need na muna pumirma ng father bago iproccess ang b-certificate niya. ganun kasi ginawa sakin kasi di naman kami kasal ng daddy ni drake pero sa kanya na kaapilyedo then may pipirmahan sya na affidavid na payag sya ipangalan yung baby sa kanya.

reagarding sa sustensto ask him kung makakapag bigay ba sya sa panganganak mo. if he just say yes and never did it. wag mo na lang ipakitayung baby mo sa kana i think its not good for your child to know his father na ganun ka irresponsible diba
Logged

superwoman27

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
    • View Profile

Hi SingleMoma,

The story of our lives has some semblance of similarities, just like you --- I am also a single mom. So when I tell you that I know how you feel, I really do.

Right now, confronting him is just secondary to making sure that you and your baby is safe. At this stage of your pregnancy, you have to eliminate all sorts of things that would harm you and your baby. I know it sounded impossible, but it could be done. Draw strength from your friends, your family and most all, from your baby.

Based on your story, heís publicly hurt you by writing that shout out fully knowing that you are going to learn about it. In my book, that was a coward attempt on his part to get the message across that itís finally over between the two of you. If that isnít clear enough, think again. The fact still remains that heís out there declaring to the rest of the world his love for someone else. Wake upÖ

Losing him doesnít make it the end of the world. Use that as your motivation to find a new life for you and your baby.

No amount of planning, anticipating or caution can assure us of our lifeís outcomes. We just have to admit the fact that it doesnít always work out exactly the way we want it to. In fact it often turns out nothing at all like we ever imagined. But it doesnít stop there.

If at some point you feel alone in this journey, think of me --- and the rest of all the single moms out there in the world, living our lives to the fullest.

Life isnít tied with a bow, but itís still a gift, so embrace it.

I wish you well.

im so impress on what ur saying ... ur so brave...

women power! karma is the name of those stupid guys who cheated on woman!
Logged

lenieliam

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 19
    • View Profile

singemoma, you are not the first to be a single mom. there are a lot of single moms outhere.  i am included in that category.

the thousands of single moms outhere tells us that, while it may be difficult, single moms survive and thrive.  you just have to accept the situation and move on.  after all, you have been blessed with a gift - your child.

i think what sis mademoiselleigh said is correct.  there is nothing to discuss with your partner anymore after that public declaration.  he has already ended the relationship in a cowardly way. 

should you ask for support?  my personal take is that if you can affort to raise your child alone, there is no reason to ask for support.  it will just complicate things now and in the future.  but if you think you cannot raise your child alone financially, then demand for it.  it is after all, your baby's right. 

btw, given that your relationship with your partner had already ended, will he acknowledge your child?  if he will then you can ask for support, if he will not, will he  agree to support your child?
Logged

septamush

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 124
  • ME, My Baby AJ and Hubby
    • View Profile

Mommy nabasa ko lahat ng comment dito...  :'( nalungkot naman ako... Hindi ako single mom pero I can somehow relate because of my friends who are in the same situation like you... Madalas din ako makinig kay PAPA JACK... sa radio and what he always say is... Wag mo ipagkait na makita nung tatay yung anak niya kahit pa hindi siya naging mabuti sayo at hindi siya sumupporta... I thought before... NEKNEK... pero now I realize... masakit kasing sampal un kung ang anak niya mismo ang magsasabing...TAR*N-T*DO ka tay dahil nun sinaktan mo si inay... Mas masakit un kesa sau magalit ang bata dahil pinag kakait mo sa kanya ang ama niya.

Kung ako sau mag post ka din sa FB niya tulad ng sabi ng ibang mommies dito.. tama un ng malaman din ng ex niya na may anak na siya.... pero yung nga lang may pagka bitter un and possible na pag nakatanggap ka pa ng message sa kanya na masakit dahil sa post mo lalo ka lang madedepress.

Email mo nalang siguro siya tas ask mo kung gusto ba niyang supportahan ka... if you really do need support now financially, then demand for it. Pero if hindi naman email him nalang to clarify if he wants to have any connections with the baby.. kung hindi pa din siya ready or hindi siya susupport then just dont put the name of the SD in your baby's Birth certificate para wala ng explain explain... at mas madali mo pa mapapabago apelido ni baby incase you find a new hubs... LEss ang complications in the future

Just confront him so you can already set your mind to your baby afterwards... para rin wala ka na iniisip isip... besides... masakit man hindi mo na siya kawalan because you have a baby now... Be strong for your baby... avoid thinking sad or anything that will make you worry.. sige ka baka paglabas ni baby kunot din ang noo... finish this problem with the SD and then set your mind to your baby... trust me god will send you something better if it is not him... :)

again this is just a POV... kasi if ever me and my hubs separate ganun din ggwin ko... at ipabubura ko siya sa busy ni baby ko..
Logged

camille2010

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
    • View Profile

hello po mga sis..new lang po ako dito..sana naman po matulungan nyo ako w/my problem?..my karapatan po ba aqng humabol sa owwa pra mapunta sa anak ko yung kalahati ng salary ng tatay ng anak q w/out any proof n sya nga tatay at hndi naman niya totally kinikilala ang anak q?and may family n din po kc sya ngaun..pls help naman po..thanks..
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7