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Author Topic: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?  (Read 17489 times)

iyatedi

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Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« on: July 15, 2010, 02:27:48 pm »

Hi mommies! I just want to ask your opinion about this..

My father & uncle are soldiers and they have sons that grew up to be gays..in fact for my father, he has two gay sons..i saw how they acted during their growth years..and how they are spanked when they are caught by my father crossdressing during their elementary days..is being gay genetically inherited?

I have a 4-yr old son right now, and it seems his exhibiting things that i have already seen in his uncles when they were young..in both sides of the family, my son is the eldest and the only grand son..on his last vacation to the province, he played with his girl cousins..he came home showing his dance..kumikendeng ang anak ko!

his yaya right now is my husband's cousin..sila lang usually magkasama sa house..palibhasa dalaga mahilig magpaganda..one time we were playing..he used his building block as a make-up kit..he painted my face at ginawa pang cutex..pinagsabihan ko tuloy si tita na wag magayos sa harap ng bata..

dito ako tumambling!..just last night..naglalaro sila ng papa niya..pinalapit sya at tinali yung lampin sa leeg niya just like a cape..ang sabi ng anak ko.."DARNA!"..my husband & i just looked at each other..ako literally napanganga..my husband corrected him and said.."Baby, its SUPERMAN!"..

I have shared my observations to my co-workers, one even said that if he had a son, he'll prefer a drug addict over a gay one..kasi pwede pang iparehab ang addict ang kabaklaan wala..another suggest to expose him to boyish toys..guns..(which is a no-no for me)..PSP (i'm more for books, although hinihiram naman niya minsan yung CP namin to play yung race cars, ayaw ko din maexpose sya this early sa mga techie toys)..

other than the situations i've mentioned..he's okay..
i don't have anything against gays..pero gusto ko namang magkaroon ng apo sa anak ko..do you think i'm just over reacting kasi may history of being gay in our family?..will he overcome it eventually?

Hope you can share your opinions!..Thanks in advance! :)

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« Last Edit: November 04, 2017, 10:33:05 pm by Mommyjazz »
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yhamsloveŽ

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2010, 02:38:52 pm »

hi sis!

i also have a son and there was a time na naisip ko yan dahil 2 sa kamag-anak namin (sa father side), pumipilantik ang mga daliri.

but i believe that being a gay is a matter of influence, and not hereditary (opinion ko lang to ha). kase may pinsan ako eto mother side naman), mag-isa lang siyang lalake sa kanilang magkakapatid (8 sila), halos araw-araw magkakasama silang magkakapatid pero ni minsan wala kaming nakitang malapit nang maging gay yung pinsan ko, or anything to that effect (babaero pa nga eh!  ;D)

siguro sis baguhin mo lang yung surroundings niya at kung saan siya nae-expose.

bilhan mo siya ng mga toys na musical instrument like a toy guitar tapos magheadbang kayong dalawa  :D or kasama pa si hubby mo.

nabanggit mo nalang din yung Superman, tuluyan mo nang bilhan ng mga dvd na ganon.. yung mga tungkol sa superhero na lalake.

don't worry mommy, bata pa ang anak mo, marami ka pang magagawa para hindi siya maliko sa landas na ayaw mo.  ;)
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yhamslove  

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2010, 02:51:29 pm »

Hi sis..
may kapatid din akong bading and mag-isa lang siya sa family.
All I can say is walang pang solid basis kung hereditary ang pagiging 'bading' ng isang lalaki. Or 'tomboy' sa mga babae.

I believe din yung sabe ni sis yhamslove, more on social influence din yun.

I have a son and sa diname-dame ng gay friends ko, hindi ko rin maiwasan minsan isipin na "what if?". Although wala naman signs na pinapakita yung anak ko at sobrang brusko nga.

Let's focus on what is important.
I remember nung buntis pa lang ako at hindi ko pa alam ang gender ng anak ko, all i prayed for was 'a healthy and happy baby' and yun pa rin ang nagma-matter saken.

If ever na maging bading yung anak ko, as long as nakatapos siya, kumikita ng maayos, walang inaapakang tao at hindi umaasa kahit na kanino, OK ako. Si hubby xiempre hindi.
Kilala ko yun eh.

Pasamahin mo siya sa mga lalaking friends. Alam mo naman ang mga bata mahilig manggaya. Ask help din sa hubby mo. Sabihin mo turuan yung baby ninyo ng mga laruan na pang boys katulad nung laro niya nung bata pa siya.

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♥maarte♥

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2010, 03:01:42 pm »

naku, napa-isip tuloy ako kasi meron rin akong baby boy... pero medyo malayo-layo pa ko dahil 6 months old pa lang sya... we have gays also sa family namin...pero sana, wag syang maging gay... 

tama si sis yham, mas malakas yung influence... saka siguro, tamang gabay ng mga magulang... kaya di ako naniniwala na pag ginamitan ng pink na lampin yung baby boy eh lalaki syang bakla...  ;)
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babylove

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2010, 04:09:57 pm »

Being gay is not hereditary...hindi naman un sakit or physical attributes ng isang tao. It is influenced by a person's environment. The more we brand kids as gay/lesbian, they become that way. Let them explore and let them discover what they want. Kasi pagimpose natin sa kanila na toy cars are for boys and dolls are for girls ONLY, they grow more curious. Let them be.

I, myself, for example. When I was a kid playmates ko all boys, fave toy ko racing car, fave game ko sumpit (with boys as team mates). pero I didnt grew up a lesbian coz my parents let me be.

Another thing is the Father-image. Baka kasi mas madalas siya exposed sa girls, girlie stuff, girls shows kaya un ang imitate niya. Remeber kids love to play make believe. Kung ano yung nakikita nila dun nakabase yung stories niya or moves niya during playtime.

But on the other hand, boy or girl, gay or lesbian, blessings are blessings!
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wendystar

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2010, 04:45:01 pm »

I have an uncle na gay talaga at cousin na BS. Yung cousin ko may younger brother (7 years old) at marami ng nakakapansin na medyo soft nga siya at yun nga, medyo may pagka-bakla. So my relatives thought na he's a gay because 'may lahi' nga daw. This seven-year-old kid grew up teased as a gay. As in lagi nyang naririnig yung mga salitang 'bakla', 'bading', 'baklush', etc. which i think was the reason why he was beginning to act as one.

I couldn't remember if I heard/watched/read it somewhere na children didn't know what 'bakla', 'bading', etc. unless they were taught of it.

When my son was 2 years old, he called my mom's helper as 'kuya' when in fact, that 'kuya' was a girl (lesbo nga lang). He also called a neighbor, 'ate' (but that neighbor was a gay). So you see, my son didn't know any other genders aside from girl and boy. He never heard of words such as 'bakla' and 'tomboy' until just recently (my boy is now 3.8 years old). And I'm not quite sure he knows what these words really mean.

I think nasa surroundings na din yun, sis. Let him play boys' toys (the ones you know which are right for him) at yun nga, pasamahin mo siya sa mga boys din his age.  ;)
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liams mom

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2010, 05:55:14 pm »

My bestfriend since highschool is gay. Actually nung hs kami, we belong to a barkada, 6 girls, tapos 2 silang boys. Crush ko siya nun kasi ang gwapo niya talaga at hindi pa naman siya super ladlad kasi hindi pa alam sa bahay nila. I was not successful on making him straight(hahaha...) pero I really am happy with the friendship I share with him now... :) :) :)  He's the middle child in a brood of 3. Boy panganay nila, bunso girl. And guess what, siya ang pinakamatino, inspite of the fact that he is gay. A good job in a multinational company, nagsa sideline siya as make up artist on weekends (self study ng make up, he even was the one who did my make up for my pre-nup pix and some of my abays nung wedding) His kuya is abroad, iniwan family sa pinas, nagpakasal sa iba. Yung bunso, got pregnant a few months after her 18th bday at ngayon, lumayas na with the kid(who by the way is my inaanak) Siya ngayon mag isa tumutulong sa parents niya. He has a bf, a CPA and a professor in one of the most reputed universities in our country. In short, hindi siya pakawalang bading.
Kaya sis, I dont agree with your co worker that he would rather have a drug addict son than a gay. Ako, mas gusto ko na gay. Lalo pa't magagabayan ng mabuti ng magulang. Mas madalas nga, kung sino pa gay, siya pa mas maaasahan mo. Just like my friend.
Siguro sis, with your son, tama sila, expose him to more manly toys and shows. At tama din, make sure he has a lot of time bonding with his dad. Minsan siguro hayaan mo sila mamasyal na silang 2 lang. Para makita niya yung example ng daddy niya. Kung ano dapat ang tama for hoys. Siguro nga masyado siya exposed sa babae or girl stuff kaya yun ang pinapakita niya. And I think tama yung ginagawa nyo na wag siyang pagalitan pag may ginagwa siayng girly stuff. Tama na kino correct nyo lang siya in a way na hindi niya maiisip na mali ginagawa niya.. :)
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♥_caramel_♥

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2010, 06:25:19 pm »

i think, like other moms' opinion, pag na-bully talaga mga bata eh they will start acting as gays , pero tingin ko naman eh masyado pang bata anak mo para ma-leybelan na gay ,.  nasa guidance pa rin yan, explain mo yung mga ginagwa ng mga boys at girls (mga toys, or activities) ,. i agree sa expose sa mga manly toys ,. not necessarily guns kasi they have the tendency to be violent just like what they see on movies ,.


tsaka if ever maging gay man ang isang bata eh dapat i-accept naten kasi yun sila eh we can't choose for them , unawain anten sila kasi alam naman naten sa society naten though tanggap eh iba pa rin tingin at turing sa kanila , tsaka remember sabe nga gn ate ko 'WALANG BAKLA ANG NANG-IIWAN SA MAGULANG, BAGKUS ANDYAN SILA PARA MAG-ALAGA SA PARENTS NILA' ^^
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iyatedi

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2010, 11:29:19 am »

'WALANG BAKLA ANG NANG-IIWAN SA MAGULANG, BAGKUS ANDYAN SILA PARA MAG-ALAGA SA PARENTS NILA' ^^

Mas madalas nga, kung sino pa gay, siya pa mas maaasahan mo.

Thanks sisses for the inputs!

I agree with what you said..my youngest gay brother is a good example..barely 2 months after graduating from college..sumakay na sya ng barko..2 years na syang andun and he's just 24..yung earnings niya for the past 2 years napunta sa amin- sa mga utang ni mader, pangsaka ni bro, DP sa house ni ate..ayun pagpaalis na, umuutang na lang sa akin kasi zero balance na sya..on his last vacation, naconvince ko syang kumuha ng hinuhulugang H&L para may puntahan naman yung pera niya hindi lang basta sa tulong at shopping..

He is the exact opposite of the other gay brother..yung sinundan niya..pinag-aral ko yon..3 years in college..nagluko..drinopped yung subjects at pumunta sa Sagada namasyal..galit na galit ako..preggy pa naman ako kay baby nun..naku nakatikim ng kamao sa kuya niya..pinaiyak niya kaming lahat..siguro malaki lang expectations namin sa kanya since among the 4 siblings sya ang pinakamatalino sa amin..3x nyang ginawa ha..we gave him a chance..pinagaral uli..nagluko uli..yung last, nagattempt pa syang magsuicide..so kinupkop ko muna..okay naman sya for the next 3 months..tapos ayan na naman sya..this Jan pinagnakawan naman ako ngayon..tapos di na nagpakita until last month he called asking for forgiveness..again..he said he joined a retreat and is under a program..he is currently living with my mom..sabi ng mom ko she saw some changes in him..he is trying to be a man..still, i intend to have him seen by a psychiatrist..which was our plan bago sya nawala..

anyway, we just really need to accept our child just the way he is..
we  should continously guide them to grow-up to be well-rounded persons..every child is a blessing..

ishare ko mga comments nyo kay hubby..i intend to enroll my son in a taekwondo class next summer..thanks for your feedback mga sis! :)

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♥_caramel_♥

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2010, 04:57:52 pm »

i like the taekwando idea sis haha gusto ko din yan kay baby eh ;)
naku sis forgive your brother na lang malay mo this time ok na talaga sya ^^
Godbless

saludo ko sa younger brother mo
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mum_06

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2010, 07:59:50 am »

ang maishare ko sis ay tungkol sa nephew ko kasi isang haws lang kami for 4 years.since 2 years old,mahilig na sya sa girl's stuff,may kalaro kasi syang girls at attractive sya sa mga barbie.gusto niya isuot mga malalaking sando niya para duster daw,face din sya sa mirror at kunwari nagmamake up,yong mga malapad na panyo tinatali niya sa beywang niya para skirt daw.pati mga high heels ng mama niya,suot niya lagi.mahilig sya sa long hair at tinatabihan niya ito para mag ayos ng long hair.pag maglakad kumikinding din pati mga daliri niya.lagi yan sinisita ng papa niya at mama niya,sabi pa nga mg papa niya if maging gay sya,padala daw sya sa mindanao para maging sundalo.

minsan magsalita pa sya parang gay talaga pero 6 years old pa lang sya now at bihira mo na makita ang mga ginagawa nga dati.di pa natin masabi if gay talaga sya.la naman daw sa lahi eh.kung anuman ang kinalabasan sabi ng mama niya,no worries naman daw kasi usually mga gays,talented & successful.
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ea_brea

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2010, 12:03:41 pm »

wala pa naman proof na hereditary ang pagiging homosexual. it really depends on the environment the child grows up in, though sabi ng ibang matatanda na nasa 'lahi' nga ang homosexuality.

i think it's still too early to tell whether your son will become gay in the future. gaya-gaya kasi talaga sila. as with other mommies' opinions, expose him to more boy stuff. and let your hubby interact with your son more, baka kasi kulang ang masculine guidance for your son.

Mac.Rodriguez

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2010, 01:10:51 pm »

yan din takot ng hubby for our son kasi sa side niya, yun cousin niya, 2 yrs old pa lang, kitang kita na talaga yun pagka-gay. kwento ng MIL ko, nung buntis yun mom ng cousin niya, puro gay daw ang kasama and was also maltreated by the husband.

i used to work in an advertising agency and my big boss is a tomboy and so is my seatmate while the other boss i work with and his assistant are gay naman. BUT this is all i can say about them... I so adored them for being so so so intelligent and smart and creative. they always made me so happy and feel loved when i was pregnant. my son is 2 yrs old na and there are no signs of being gay. he's actually very brusko. hehe! :)

i used to have officemates that are gay "at present" but way back after college, they even had girlfriends.  sabi nila, its more of feeling it na lang daw eh...not even influenced by other gay people.

as for me, whether my son is gay or not... i'd still love him! i'm more concerned on his health rather on his sexual being. of course, i would prefer him straight and have grandchildren in the future but if God has his own reasons for letting him change, i will accept it without questions :)
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magilas

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2010, 02:18:26 pm »

it's too early to tell. at your son's age, he is still discovering gender roles - what does a boy/man and girl/woman do and expected by society to act. there is still the ongoing nature (gayness is in the genes) vs. nurture (environment, influences) debate as to the origin of homosexuality.

i agree with the moms here, open your son to more masculine influences (uncles, boy playmates, grandfathers, etc.) and strengthen his relationship with his dad. show him more opportunities for male-oriented games (taekwondo, though not a strictly male sport, will do as it focuses more on his physical prowess). more importantly, nurture him as what you have been doing and don't stress that what he is doing is wrong and showing him how a male "perspective" is.
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alexismom

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Re: Will my toddler grow up to be gay?
« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2010, 04:36:48 pm »

when we were younger, i thought my brother would grow up gay. he used to spend more time with me and my friend than boys his age. also, he was more interested in drawing, artsy stuff than the masculine interests though he also played with action figures and cars. hindi naman siya naging gay. he's a bit effeminate and metrosexual pero thankfully, hindi katulad ng kinakatakot ko. it also helped that we have a younger brother. dumating din kasi sa point na sila na magkasama lagi and their other male playmates. naging trip na niya yung mga rowdy games and kalokohan.

anyway, hindi naman issue sa amin kung 'softer' siya compared sa isang brother namin. naalala ko may neighbor kami na same age niya na nasapak ng younger brother namin. naglalaro kasi sila sa labas and sabi niya gay daw brother namin. hinatak ng younger brother namin yung collar ng mean kid na yun and sinapak sa ilong. our brother was a head shorter than him! i'm proud to say na kahit di hamak na brusko siya, our brother's a lot smarter and better.

may cousin ako na akala namin gay dati kasi pag nagsalita and gumalaw parang ganun. pero nagulat kami kasi now, he is happily married with two kids at iba na siya kumilos. as in family man na talaga at lalaking-lalaki. he is a successful engineer living in canada. lahat ng mga tao na dati parang yun lang ang pinapansin sa kanya, nagulat sa buhay niya ngayon. dapat iguide lang ang kids and iexpose sa magandang environment. no worries. ang daming gays and effeminate people who are good, smart, successful and talented like what sis honeyR said. ayoko naman na masculine nga pero paglaki, nambabaril na lang ng tao sa kalye.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2010, 04:39:25 pm by sexymomma »
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