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Author Topic: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?  (Read 29514 times)

xhingpie

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My baby is 7 month old and I am very happy with his development and things that he has learned on his own, but his Lola always compare him with his cousins, it's sad because she would say to my baby "Ay di marunong" when she'd ask my baby to do something things that his cousins already mastered, we tried teaching it to him to but he seems to be uninterested because he loves practicing other skills, like crawling and sitting down, and grunting, we think he's trying to talk and still don't know how. I guess I'm just sad that his lola does not see the things that he does that his cousins could not.

Babies develop differently and I don't think its fair to compare them.

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« Last Edit: May 29, 2020, 06:34:07 pm by Parentchat Admin »
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m3aJp8

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2010, 10:32:24 am »

Hayaan mo lang sila sis. If ever dumating sa point na nakakaintindi na yung anak mo, I would advise na ilayo mo na lang. Kung in laws mo yung nagsasabe, talk to your husband and tell them na hindi healthy yun lalo na pag nakakaintindi yung anak mo kasi baka ma-insecure siya. Continue to nourish and teach your child.

Correct ka na iba iba ang babies and it is really unfair to compare them. Next time, pag di maiwasan at mabanggit pa - try what I do - tell them yung development ni baby just so they know tapos pag binida yung ibang bata, sabihin mo lang 'ah talaga, good for him.. Andame na rin alam ng baby ko eh nakakatuwa nga.'

Neutral lang para walang conflict. :D
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Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

xhingpie

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2010, 10:51:08 am »

I've been hearing it for months and di ko na lang pinapansin but I guess last weekend di ko na ma-take kaya naiyak ako habang pinag-uusapan namin ni hubby buti na lang at very supportive si hubby sa kin and lagi niya sinasabi na no one can put us down and he thinks I'm doing a good job teaching and taking care of our baby. May mga times lang siguro na naririndi na ko... kasi paulit-ulit-ulit-ulit.
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m3aJp8

hel

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2010, 11:18:04 am »

I agree with mommy france sis na hayaan mo lang sila. Iba-iba naman talaga ang development ng mga babies. Hindi naman ata magkaka-age ang baby mo at mga cousin niya kaya unfair talaga na i-compare sila,kasi iba-iba ang development ng mga babies at a certain age/month.

I agree din sis na mas ok na ilayo mo na lang po yung baby mi sa kanila kasi baka maka-affect sa baby mo yung pag-compare nila with other babies.

I suggest po na gumawa ka po ng brag book. scrapbook ng mga development and milestones ni baby para everytime na may ibang tao na magtatanong tungkol sa development niya eh pakita mo lang yung brag book. para di na rin sila mag-dare na icompare pa si baby sa ibang babies lalo na sa cousins niya and para alam rin nila na marami din alam at kayang gawin si baby.
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dhangcabuang

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2010, 11:29:45 am »

hi! both kong naranasan ito sa 2 daughters ko..kasi sa mga cousins niya eh prehas may kabatch..sa una naiinis ako...as in hanggat maari eh ayoko na makijamming or makijoin sa mga family events nila..at least eh di ako maiinis..tas eventually nung naglakihan naman mga kids, nawla din naman yung comparison..kung meron man, di na ako affected..kasi kanya kanya naman ng talent bawat kids..norture mo na lang whatever yung talent na yun..

for the meantime, pag may comparison n nangyari, dedma na lang muna..hayaan mo magasasawa din sila...kung oras nila ngayon, darating din yung time to shine ng anak mo..just always be there for ur child..
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xhingpie

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2010, 12:01:23 pm »

Haaaaaaaaaaay.  Thanks mga sis. I know he will learn naman when he is ready, right now kasi ibang yung gusto nyang gawin, sa ibang bagay sya nag-eenjoy. mas gusto niya iexplore yung paligid niya. we are very proud of him kasi very active sya and magana kumain, di kami nahirapan when we introduced solids. ayaw niya lang talaga magclose open, he already did it before pero ayaw na niya ngayon. mas gusto niya nanood ng dvd ng baby can read. pag yun nakikita niya, focused talaga sya. pero pag close open, naiirita, at close open ang skill na gusto ng lola niya na gawin niya kasi yung mga cousins niya gustong-gusto na ginagawa yun... sa ibang bansa ba requirement na matutunan ng baby ang close open? OMG!
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m3aJp8

hel

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2010, 12:26:00 pm »

ang important naman sis eh matuto siyang mag-grasp ng ng objects. di niya lang ata feel ang mag-close open. mas ok nga yun na focus siya manood sa your baby can read dvds and in that way baka maaga pa siya matutong magbasa which is for me magandang milestone sa baby. iba lang talaga hilig niyang gawin kaysa sa mga cousins niya.
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xhingpie

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2010, 12:40:59 pm »

feeling ko nga di niya feel gawin yun, I guess he's doing okay naman, at this age, he knows how to ask na when he wants something, he taps my hand or his yaya's hand pag gusto niya magpabuhat, when he wants to dede, he crawls towards me and taps my breast. tama mga sis, focus na lang ako at wag na makinig. sana lang wag paulit-ulit... tao lang, naririndi din... diba?
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m3aJp8

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2010, 12:47:23 pm »

Ganun talaga sis.. di natin sila mababago. Mas lalo lang tayo maririndi kung papatulan natin.

Focus on your kid and just prove them wrong later on. Wala naman sa tricks yan.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

hel

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2010, 01:02:19 pm »

i agree sis hayaan mo na lang sila and magfocus ka na lang kay baby. maiistress ka lang kung papatulan mo pa ang mga sinasabi nila.
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celganda

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2010, 01:14:19 pm »

sis, tama ka dito lang sa pinas yang close open na yan. hehe. itong baby ko 2 years na at di marunong nyang close open na yan. ok lang yan.  ;)
like what the others said, deadma na nga lang. naaasar din ako sa mommy ko when it comes to my baby. minsan nasasagot ko sha, minsan mega dinededma ko na lang. hopefully (with crossed fingers), she will realize in time that her way isn't necessarily that only way.
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hel

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2010, 01:27:26 pm »

true sis. dapat deadma na lang talaga pagdating sa ganyan. haaay. napaisip rin tuloy ako kasi manganganak pa lang ako this october. may mga anak na rin mga cousin ko and naisip ko na baka icompare nga rin si baby sa ibang babies lalo na at manganganak din yung isang cousin ko this september.

yan na rin pinaghahandaan ko na mangayari kasi for sure naman na di yan maiiwasan. di ko rin naman ata maiiwasan na hindi mairita pag nacompare baby ko sa iba. kai ako i really hate it pag nacocompare din ako sa iba kong cousins. para kasing ganun talaga sa family,laging nacocompare sa iba parang may competition ba.
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- Mommy Jo -

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2010, 01:35:33 pm »

ok lang yan sis,at least for us parents ang mahalaga naman dun alam natin yung capabilities ng mga anak natin.although nakakainis man na may mga taong mahirap i-please,hayaan mo na lang and di lang naman sa "close-open" natatapos ang lahat kase eventually when they grow up probably mas titindi pa yung comparisons.stay positive sis,just focus on your baby's amazing milestones  :)
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magilas

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2010, 01:40:45 pm »

hi sis. cheer up  ;D

close open ba daw at 7 months! talaga namang di na interest ng baby mo yon no! he he. he has advanced and nakatutok sya now with his communication skills.

my advise: hwag na patulan. ngiti ka na lang  :D

i feel for you. kasi nga narindi ka na and you cried because of these incidents. you can't change them but you can change the way you accept their comments.

pag negative pa din dating nila, pwede mo na ding ihirit na di na interest ng baby mo close open, he's past that. then smile ulit 
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hel

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Re: How to deal with people who always compare your baby with other babies?
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2010, 01:54:00 pm »

i definitely agree sis na di lang naman yan sa "close-open" talaga. dito lang naman kasi talaga sa pilipinas uso yan na natutuwa ang mga elderly sa babies na nakakapag-close open. dito kasi sa atin matuto lang makapag-close open ang baby eh super natutuwa na sila. napansin ko rin dito sa neighborhood namin natutuwa talaga sila sa baby pag nag-close open. napapaisip rin tuloy ako kung bakit big deal sa iba ang mag-close open ang babies?hehe... there are other milestones naman na mas amazing than pag-close open. in months to come there would be more amazing developments and milestones sa buhay ni baby lalo na for his first year which is way more important than just learning how to do tricks like close open and i believe dun kailangan magbigay ng focus lalo na when he's learning to walk and read na. :)
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