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[lady_torque]

am nearing 1 yr of my CS birth of the youngest & i fear that i need to see a psyciatrist.  so many things have happened to me - getting more forgetful, sensitivity at times to my children, mainitin ang ulo... do you think that physical & verbal abuse & a somewhat-bipolar-husband greatly contributes to what I'm experiencing now?  i've been a victim of domestic violence, yung huling pinakamatindi was when we didn't know that i'm 1 month old pregnant, good thing nothing happened.

it stopped during my pregnancy & 3 months after giving a CS birth to my youngest, afterwhich, nag resume na naman.

kaya ba di napapagod kapag parang "doormat" na lang ang tingin sa inyo ng hubby nyo na kapag may problema sa iba e kayo ang gagawing labasan ng galit?

can you suggest any online advise group/forums for my situation?  sometimes i feel like quitting after 7 yrs of marriage to a "bipolar" hubby who refused to be analyzed by a professional or seek marriage counselling....

[mimi27]

Sis,I feel your pain.In some way or another pareho tayo ng situation.Pls try to watch Susi sa Tagumpay at Channel 11 @ 11pm.(700club dati) prayers can move mountains.

[tiggerlily]

hindi rason na may problema ang husband nyo kaya niya kayo sasaktan - pregnant or not. wala silang karapatan para saktan kayo. i don't think you need to talk to a professional to solve this problem. hindi naman kayo ang problem kundi ang asawa nyo. nagwowork ba kayo pareho?

[MommyJammy]

he or both of you needs counseling, abusive people are very stubborn, hindi mo makukuha sa usapan. i've been there. they don't feel any guilt with what they do, and tell you everything is your fault kung bakit niya nagagawa yun, talking won't do the trick. yes you need to seek professional help. mas maganda kung pareho kayo.

[jhoicee_01]

hi lady_torque, how are u doing?

post na din sis,nauuwi talaga sa psychosis pag  di nagamot ang post partum depression sis.ganun din ako,lumala sa akin dahil sa iniiwan ako mag isa at nang bebe ko,pinaparinggan ako,sinisigawan,pinagdadabugan ako pag uuwi pa ama nang anak ko wala akong ibang maririnig kundi 'baka mag away kayo ni mommy kasi', 'masyado kang sensitive','kaaway mo  lahat' wala man lang kung kumain na ba ako o kumusta na ako maghapon.worst naging karanasan di na ako nakakatulog,kahit di ako kumilos pagod na pagod ako pakiramdam ko,lagi akong tulala at nag iisip,umiiyak parati,wala akong gana,di ako pinapaligo kasi bawal daw (di ko alam kung sinadya para umakyat init sa ulo ko),pinapakain ako anng may gata=.madami sis reason kung pagbabasehan kailangan talaga magamot mo PPD mo kasi ang psychosis masyado nang malal kung baga kailangan mo nang gamot para dun though di ko pa naman sinakal anak ko etc. takot lang ako sa kanya at pag umiyak sya sumasabay ako lahat nang nangyayari sa kanya iniiyakan ko (weird no?) pero totoo sis kinailangan akong  gamutin para bumalik ako sa dati pero pansin ko madami na nagbago sa akin lalo ang mood swings ko,mainitin pa din ulo ko.kinailangan kong magtake nang gamot panghabambuhay na sis yung ang masaklap na katotohanan.7 mos ako take non taz nahinto binalik ko na ngaung month na to sis.

[two_angels'_mom]

sis marriage counselling is not going to work since sabi mo nga bipolar si hubby he needs to be treated first kasi otherwise hindi rin niya pakikinggan lahat ng sasabihin ng counsellor..at yes sis domestic violence could lead to a psychological disorder, not necessarily pychosis, pero yung trauma that you take everytime that your being battered masama yan sa mental health..im saying this becoz iv been there too kaya kame naghiwalay ni SD because of that..he know that has psychiatric problem but he wont seek counselling so ang kinalabasan lagi kame nag-aaway..

you need to do something to stop that sis otherwise health mo na ang nakasalalay..hubby needs to be treated yun nga lang sa ganyang mga case dapat kusang loob sila magseek ng medical help..pero dapat kung mahal niya talaga kayo ni baby gawin niya yun kasi baka dumating panahon pati si baby saktan niya na..you never know what he can do kasi after may psychiatric problem nga sya..

[lady_torque]

Thank you mga sis, for your concerns. Sa sobrang dami problem, forgot ko na nga rin na nag start ako ng thread na to, hehe.

It's been more than a year & nothing's really changed.  Pinapalala pa ng bruhang MIL ko. Instead na maging mediator sya, sya pa ang nagsasabi ng kung ano ano kay hubby.  Nawawalan na talaga ako ng drive in everything, naaawa nga ako sa 3 kids ko.  Ginagawa ko na lang mind over matter para di maapektuhan gaano ang mga kids, pero super hirap talaga.

Sis hon3ykow, saan ka nagpatingin  regarding your condition? I really feel that I'm getting worse, don't want totell it to my mom, baka sya naman ang maapektuhan sa condition ko.  Kanina lang, i had a 80/60 BP but inspite of that, pinatao pa ako ni hubby sa shop.  Can't eat that much, as well, lalo na pag naririnig ko bibig ng MIL kong super eskandalosa.  Since affected na rin ang youngest G6PD baby ko sa katigasan ng ulo ng MIL, i've learned to be brutally frank.  Alam na ni hubby na super bad trip na ako sa mom niya. Dun sya wala masabi pag nabad trip ako.

The verbal & psychological abuses are now getting worse to the point that hubby has FULL CONTROL of our finances ( I know dahil sa mga sinasabi ng mom nyang over insecure sa akin ). Di na ako magtataka why ganun ang upbringing ni hubby, blame it sa kunsintidor na ina na di rin alam ang term na "discipline".  Kapal nga ng mukhang sabihing pera lang ang habol ko... Haller... wala kayang pera ang anak nila nung kinasal kami...  Pinahiram nga nila kami ng fund for the business pero matagal nang  bayad un.  Pasalamat sila at napalaki pa nga ng ilang times pa yun, kasi kung sa anak lang nila maiiwan un, tyak mapupunta rin sa kawalan sa pagiging impulsive spender nun...

Hubby doesn't want any counselling or psychological treatment, kasing arrogant sya ng mom niya na di ma admit na sa kanila lagi nagsisimula ang kung anong gulo magkaroon dito.  Sabi pa nga sa kondisyon ko kanina na super hilo ako sa baba ng bp, "Kawawa ka naman" - sarcastically. 

Siguro ang choice ko na lang is for me to seek help - on my own. Sobra hirap mga sis...

@ lady_torque

sis sa northen luzon ako pinagamot  nang family ko sa baguio city (Roseville Rehabilitation Complex Company)  pero alam ko meron din sila sa Pampanga refer lang din to sis nang good samaritan kasi di ko kaya ang gov na hos lalo akong naging worst.

SERVICES:
-Roseville Rehabilitation Complex Co. offers its services on these functional levels.
-Psychopaharmacology including detoxification (for drug and alcohol related disorders)
-Rehabilitation facilities,occupational therapy,psychodrama,recreational dynamics,sublimation (e.g. sports,music,dance,etc.)
-Family therapy interactions
-Outpatient Services for Psychotic,Mood,Anxiety,Sleep,and other Psychiatric Disorders
-Occupational Therapy
-it also offers a good referal system with other government and private hospitals along with the highly specialized line of endeavor.

Mental disturbance is not a disease but an affliction of the modern times.It is therefore wrong to think that mentally disturbed people have failed.It is just that in a world that is becoming more complex by passing minute,their internal psychological defense mechanism has chosen to protect them from the looming frustration by altering their sense of reality-- sometimes blocking it out partially.

I'll pm you the Psychiatrists sis along his contact numbers.all the best!

PM sent sis.

[lady_torque]

thank you so much, hon3ykow!

sarap ding ibigay ang # si MIL ko kasi sa kanya nagsisimula lahat ng gulo dito... hehe...

God Bless!

[FighterDad Rob]

Is it too late to post my two cents?  This may help others...

As a psychologist, go back a few steps first before moving forward.  This is clearly a bad situation that nobody deserves to be in.  Plus, this is your point of view.  How are you feeling for and treating your husband?  Are you staying in the marriage in the hopes of change or simply "for the kids"?

First of all domestic abuse is already a green light for you to end things, if this is truly the case.  Whether verbal or physical. 

Marriage counseling at this point is unnecessary as you need to seek help for yourself first for the sake of your child.  If you can't find support groups, it's best to consult a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (easy to google) for this particular situation.  He/She can help you sort through your thoughts.

There are also church groups.  I attend at CCF and it's great to share and listen.  If you choose to go non-sectarian, go online here and make a support group and meet initially at public places in day time for safety.

No man should ever, EVER strike a woman.  I fight in various martial arts disciplines, MMA also, and my wife is a competitive shooter...delikado pag may away sa bahay!   But seriously, stay happy.  Life is waiting for you.

[Mommy Jazz]

Wow, we have a psychologist on board pala. Hope to read more advice from you FighterDad.

[FighterDad Rob]

Hi Mommyjazz!    Hope all is well.  : )  Social Psychology nga lang.  But yeah I'm most willing to help!

[tashasabs]

Kumusta ka na lady_torque? Nakakalungkot naman mabasa 'yung situation mo. Sana may improvement na, it's been almost a year na rin yata.

...  I fight in various martial arts disciplines, MMA also, and my wife is a competitive shooter...delikado pag may away sa bahay!

-- FighterDad Rob made me laugh with this.