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[Mommy Jazz]

Basahin sa Smart Parenting:
Why You Should Not Tease Your Toddler About Having a 'Boyfriend' or 'Girlfriend'
Click HERE.

photo by PEXELS
I observed that when she comes home, she has this secret smile on her face and makes kwento about this new boy in school na mas madalas kaysa kwento niya about her girl friends. She has a secret daw. I don't want to be a prying mother so I just tell her that whenever she's ready, she can tell me and I'll listen. Then one day eto na "Mama, I have a boyfriend but don't tell Dada."
Shocked ako siyempre, she's only 7. I was expecting sabihin niya may crush siya, pero boyfriend?!!! I was calm hiding my state. Kunyari tinutuloy ko ginagawa ko while we were talking.


"Does he know that he's your boyfriend?"
"Of course, when you are boyfriend and girlfriend, you both know."
"Well, now that you're boyfriend and girlfriend, what happens now?"
"Just all the things kids enjoy. share stuffs. I like him because he's nice to me and doesn't tease me."
"You know the shows we watch, the scary movies and those bad words on TV, that it's only to make the show look scary or funny but you don't do or say that to your friends OK, it's not real. Same with Highschool Musical and Camp Rock. They make boyfriend and girlfriend look so close because it's for the movie but the kissing and hugging is not real OK?
"Yes Mama I know that already. we just talk that's all."


I dropped the conversation na. I want her to think that it's no big deal. She use to have a different crush before, a good-looking, tall 3rd grader. Then I observed she stopped talking about him so I asked. She doesn't like him na daw because she saw him spit. Na turn-off yata sa pagdura. Then after a few months, eto na, may bago na siyang choice.


I know that this moment will come but I didn't expect it to be this early. There's so many things I want to teach her about crush, ligaw, pano i-basted ang manliligaw, having boyfriends, etc. I'm saving all these til she gets to highschool.


How should I tell her Dada? OMG, I feel old!!!!
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[mamacyd]

haha! ang cute naman mommyjazz may dalaginding kana! siguro iba na talaga mga bata ngayon. We were brought up kasi dati in an old fashioned way kaya nagugulat tayo na ganyan sila. yung officemate ko nagkkwento din ng ganyan sakin. nung pumunta sya sa moving up day ng son sya.. nagulat sya kasi may lumapit na girl classmate ng anak niya. ang sabi sa kanya nung bata "crush ko po sya.." pointing to her son. hehe.... how cute is that?!

maybe your daughter is just exploring how it feels to be a grown up. or maybe ang notion niya ng boyfriend is parang boy bestfriend.

[nylej20]

mommy siguro crush crush lang yan..soon it will passed. baka nacute an lang daughter mo sa kanya and besides she's too young to understand love. dont worry too much..normal lang sa mga kabataan yan. lets just be there for them always para maguide sila..

[Mommy France]

Hi Mommy Jazz, naku ibang generation na talaga tayo. I know that you have the best judgement about your child's business kasi ikaw naman ang nakakakilala sa kanya. Yung attitude niya and how she might react with things.

Observe na lang din muna di ba? The media kasi is available na kaya yung mga bata alam na yung mga terms na ganyan. Probably sa school niya may mga ganyan na rin kaya she feels OK lang.

We will never be ready when our child comes home to tell us na may GF or BF na siya. Mas lalo na ngayon pag dahil maaga naman talaga.

What I would do if I were in your shoes, probably let the teachers know na close yung child ko with this boy at school and sana have good people around her. Para malaman ko din kung may mga ganung happening na rin with other kids sa school and how the school is managing it.

[Nunal]

This is also my fear if I'll have a baby girl but lahat ata ng parents pagdadaanan ito sa girl na anak. what i can suggest mommy eh observe na lang anak natin and have our communications open with them and you know your hubby well more than anyone else, if malaman niya what do you think would be his reaction? and baka magtampo naman anak mo pag nalaman niya na sinabi mo..

Btw, yung boss ko pala may anak din na girl and when He felt na nag kaka crush na yung anak niya he started na maging close sa anak niya para yung anak niya kusa mag open sa kanya kasi sbi niya iba pa din daw pag tatay ang nagsasabi sa anak although it was very hard for him sabi pa nga niya gusto na niya sakalin yung guy kasi baby pa for him yung anak niya.. he even asked her daughter na papuntahin yung BF sa bahay nila at dun mag play, watch dvd para daw mas nababantayan nila..

i know its easier said than done but you could try

[♥_caramel_♥]

mommyjazz ang cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahah  ,. hmm well iba na talaga mga kabataan ngayon but i could say that you guided your daughter well kasi she opens up about her "bf" sayo mismo ,. hindi mo na nalaman sa ibang tao meaning open kayo sa isa't isa ,. and she knows her limitations i think ,. maybe baby love lang yan (naalala ko sina anna larucea at yung guy) hehe    ,. dapat every day kamustahin mo na lang sila para updated ka din kay daughtie at sa bf niya hehe ,.

[honey-ecclaire]

uber cute mommyJazz...
I have a son at sabi nga ng mister ko magiging over protected daw ako pag nakaroon na ng Gf yung baby ko...
iiyak talaga ako nun tapos sa iyo girl,maloloka siguro talaga ako...

but just guide her,and put limitations na tell the right age of having relationship.

[anhing]

hi mommyjazz, i so admire you for being compose. siguro kung aku yan, baka nagwala naku. it's cute yes, but let's face reality, bf at 7?! the other mommies here is right, i guess you should talk to the teachers and tell them about the situation, not to reprimand them or what, pero para din may tumitingen sa mga bagets while in school. i think it's also a good idea to befriend the parents of your daughter's bf, para you have an idea kung ano yung well-being nung bata. i dunno, siguro na-praning lang din aku, babae din kc yung baby ku. suggestion lang naman.. 

[moi angels]

hmmm... i found it cute at the start but bigla akong natakot when you said your daughter is only 7... mine kasi is already 8! naku po! may "bf" na rin kaya princess ko!

thanks for sharing this sis. at least eye-opener na rin ito for all of us parents. i agree that you talk sa school officials, especially your daughter's teachers para naman may guidance sa school, yung tipong may magrereinforce nung mga tinuturo natin sa house especially on the influence of media. also, gusto ko rin yung open communication - keep it up sis!

naku, update mo kami sis ha? and don't feel old!!!

[loveann]

@mommyjazz, ang cute naman
Iba na talaga ang generation natin nowadays.

[matrilynne]

@mommyjazz, shocked naman ako and napaisip!
I also have a daughter kasi and she's 8 na,  open naman siya sa'kin so I hope wala pa siyang BF. nagkukwento naman siya before na crush niya yung classmate niya(pre-school pa lang siya nun,she even told me na 'wag daw sabihin sa daddy niya  ) pero now tinatanong ko siya wala daw siyang crush. siguro as long as we keep the communication open we can guide them with this phase of their life.

[smurf]

hi mommyjazz, lalo yata ako na-paranoid sa nabasa ko. i have a 10-1/2 yo daughter & honestly just like other mommies i feel the same way sa mga worries ninyo.

i understand how you feel mommyjazz to think that you're daughter is only 7 yo mostly at her age she's still fond of playing with other kids with the same age kaya lang nakakagulat na naka-set yung mind niya sa gf/bf relationship.
well, i guess you should double your time on giving her guidance hindi naman din kasi pwede bsta pagalitan or higpitan kasi most likely iba na talaga ang mga bata now a days. sabi nga ng iba ang hirap magtimbang paano ang tama pagpapalaki ng anak sobra man or kulang hindi maganda pareho.

i just hope everything will be just fine.....bsta, nasa tama pag-uusap ng magulang sa anak/vice versa.

[Errych]

Just want to share po. My daughter's 4 y/o. She told her daddy that she has a special boyfriend. Medyo nag-worry yung husband ko. Nag-usap talaga sila masinsinan. Then she asked my hubby "daddy, why did you marry mommy?". Her dad answered "Why do you think I marry your mommy?" She answered, "Because you love her". Surprisingly she asked the same question to her papa (my dad). Then, she told be "Mommy, I'll marry Handy Manny someday." - Though I know Handy Manny is only a cartoon from Playhouse Disney, still I took it seriously. Masyado pa siyang bata. Natatakot tuloy ako. Ang hirap magpaliwanag. Good thing may forum like this to give ideas on how to manage our kids. 

[ceejhei]

i have a turning 2 daughter, baby pa pero parang natatakot din ako. bakit alam na ng mga bata ang "boyfriend" way back nalaman ko nalang ang boyfriend when i was in grade 4 ata.

[Mommy Jazz]

Sorry po hindi ko nabalikan agad itong topic. Thanks to all who replied. I gave it time trying to gather as many opinions and I also needed time to observe my daughter. So far this is what I understand:

Her idea of "boyfriend" is "someone who also likes you". Porke inamin nila sa isa't-isa na they like each other, ayun, mag boyfirend na sila. Hindi siya about commitment, obligation. partnership, attachment, special someone or anything like that. This entire christmas break, she didn't mention him, hindi niya na miss. There is no longing for her to see him again so I knew na hanggang dun lang yon.


I am hesitant to tell her teacher kasi baka lumaki ang issue and she will surely feel embarrassed if she finds out I talked to her teacher about it. Ang pinaka ayaw niya kasi yung tutuksuhin siya. With her former crush, nakita ko na stressed siyang pumasok kasi guard pa lang ng school, sa entrance pa lang may tumutukso na sa kaniya. I'm sure her teacher knows about the crush thing kasi etong anak ko, napaka obvious. Pumasok lang yung schoolmate sa classroom nila, kinikilig o kaya nahihiya nalang bigla, magtatakip ng mukha. Edi alam na ng buong school. So far, it is nothing to worry about. I'll talk about it with her teacher when I see it's affecting her schooling like how she got stressed before.


Eto ngayon ang bagong concern ko which you may answer on the topic


How to explain about kissing and sexy scenes?