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Author Topic: my son is starting to ask  (Read 41076 times)

sweet&spice

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #30 on: April 20, 2011, 12:46:46 pm »

@ahyzeyuh: thanks sis! in as much I would like to be honest about me and his father, basic presentation is the problem. alangan naman I say 'your dad is afraid of monsters in his head. he thought we were one of those?' hehe.
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sweet&spice

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #31 on: April 20, 2011, 12:53:23 pm »

@eriaven: good thing, yours had a good ending. baby had a new dad to model and emulate.
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sweet&spice

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #32 on: April 20, 2011, 12:56:53 pm »

@yshaleigh: thanks sis for trying to relate.
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sweet&spice

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #33 on: April 20, 2011, 01:19:55 pm »

@magilas: thanks for those mild presentations of the truth. i'm thinking of creating a powerpoint presentation about modified family presentation.
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sweet&spice

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #34 on: April 20, 2011, 01:33:36 pm »

@ravenwillis: haha. I bought baby clothes that had that drawing and caption. My father is in outer space! Hehe.
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mhie_lhy

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #35 on: April 21, 2011, 12:38:13 am »

@eriaven: good thing, yours had a good ending. baby had a new dad to model and emulate.

korek k jan sis..so far di pa naman ulit nagtatanong si baby bout sa dad niya pero last month siguro naalala niya na sinabi kong iba yung dad niya,bigla na lang syang nagsabi na kilala na daw niya yung dad niya,akala niya yung tito niya yung dad niya.hay!
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☆♥♡unica hija☆♥♡

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #36 on: April 21, 2011, 02:59:45 am »

naalala ko tuloy si Joshua ko. I never mentioned his dad's name to him. then we he was 4, in kinder, while playing he asked, out of nowhere, mom, what's my daddy's name? i don't know his name? I said, I forgot, I'll tell you when I remember. Sa ngayon, and alam niya na dad niya yung guy bestfriend ko. but he is in manila kaya super layo. pro kung may nagtatanong sinsabi na lang niya, my dad works in manila. problem ko ngayon, pano sasabihin na di naman yun totoong dad niya.
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two_angels'_mom

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Re: Lagot! Baby, asked..."daddy ko?"
« Reply #37 on: May 11, 2011, 07:32:55 pm »

ngayon ko lang nakita tong thread na to..pero mga sis share ko lang rin kung pano gnawa ko when dis happened to me few years ago...i have a 12yr old and 8 mos old baby..i can still remember so well when my eldest daughter first asked me where is her dad..ganun lang din out of nowhere she suddenly asked "'my, san ba si daddy? wow! when she was younger i also have formulated answers to this question kasi nga alam ko dadating time na to but when she actually asked it parang natigilan din ako at suddenly hindi ko alam isasagot. so nawala din lahat ng nirehearse kong sagot and i just told her what her age can actually understand..i told her "baby mommy and daddy are no longer together" daddy is in another place and he cant be with us" but you have papa f>>>(yung brother ko yun, my mother has chose her to call his uncle this para daw kalakihan niya sa isip niya me daddy sya), papa O>>(yung isa ko pang kuya ;D) see you have two dads others only have 1, hindi sila yung totoo mong daddy pero they love so much..(alam kong alam naman yun ng anak ko) and then there is lolo and lola so dont be sad if daddy is not with you ha coz mommy loves you so much..at tama sila umpisa pa lang yan coz few months after he went home from school and said "my ano ba occupation ni daddy? kasi pinapasulat ni teacher occupation ng mommy and daddy" wew! so sabi ko "employee" sulat naman sya hehe..up till now kapag pinapasulat sila ng ganun she still writes it although recently sabi daw teacher niya di pedeng employee lang ang ilalagay be more specific kumbaga and ngayon medyo malaki na si baby marunong na sya sumagot sabi niya daw "employee lang po ang alam ko e, hindi ko po alam kung ano talaga work daddy ko kasi hindi ko na po kasama daddy ko" hay hirap..at tama ka di baleng maturete sa pagsagot ang mas mahirap kasi yung makikita nating nasasaktan ang anak natin of the things we cant help him with even if we tried..

OT:these things are the reason why at first i didnt cut communications with 2nd SD i was hoping din kasi matatauhan din sya at magpapakaama sya atleast hindi naman na ko mahihirapan sumagot sa ganitong tanong kung magiging visible daddy niya kaso hindi pa din so di bale na lang :(

back to the topic..gaya ng sabi nila sis umpisa pa lang nga..marami pang susunod na mga tanong..im glad kahit papano nasagot ko naman ng maayos sa anak ko..alam ko kasi now hindi na hinahanap ng anak ko yung daddy niya (this i really pray that my love will be enough for her para hindi na niya hanapin daddy niya) di na kasi sya nagtatanong pa..

just be honest sis..dont ever say na nasa abroad si daddy, or other things like that just so makaiwas ka sa pagsagot..you wouldnt want your kid hating you because you lied to him..good luck sis! sana mapag-isipan mo na ang isasagot kay baby coz believe me stages din pati ang mga tanong nila..
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andee

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I'm feeling this question is about to come.
Is telling the truth better than keeping her out of it?
Ayokong pagmukhaing dakila ang tatay niya by lying, but I think telling the truth will be too much naman.
What you think mommies?
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 03:42:31 pm by Tiger Lily »
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dainty_me

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Hi sis andee, for me its better and best to tell the truth. Telling lies won't do any good in any situation sis.
Explain it well to your baby, kung medyo cruel or unkind yung sasabihin mo about the father just be sure na you pick words na mild lang at kayang maintindihan ng baby mo.
How old is your baby pala?
I believe na iba na ang mga bata ngayon they can understand things and situation if just explain to them clearly. When your baby grow up she herself will see the truth why you and her father broke up. What kind of father and mother she have,things like that. Kaya while she's  young and ask about it, just simply tell the truth to her sis.
Hope this help sis....
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Tiger Lily

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cottoncandy

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Hmm.. you know what Sis Andee, I've been preparing myself too for the longest time now kahit na baby is too young. I myself is confused too on what to say to him when he starts to ask.  Our situation is so much complicated that no right words would be able to explain this to my son. I mean, I had lots of good memories with SD before I got pregnant but after that, unexplainable na talaga. I feel that when I tell to my son the reason why we broke up, he would just hate him and mawalan siya ng respect kay SD. I dont want to say that SD is dead (which is the advice of most of my friends). Maybe I'll tell my son that SD is in a place where he is happy and hopefully peaceful or kaya he is in heaven. :) At least hindi mean. Hindi naman kasi lahat ng makakasakit ng damdamin ay mali.
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mommyness

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mommy andee, in right time dapat sis, yung maiintindihan na niya yung sasabihin mo,kasi she has the right to know kasi syempre maiiwang isang malaking question mark yan sa isip ng mga bata, and they can even adopt the situation,kaya dapat sabihin mo sa kanya, in the right time,right age, proper manner and with firm explanation..
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ellenchristy

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Telling your kids about the real score of your marriage would all depend on their ages and level of maturity.  It happened to me twice in my 24 years of marriage and my kids were aware of what was happening since day one.  The truth as they say will set you free.  For me telling them everything spared them from living in a world of fantasy.  Sometimes we tend to under estimate our children's capacity to bear things and understand.  But of course , if the children are too young, you have to tell them slowly . Creativity helps a lot too. In my case, I made them  watch the movie of Robin Williams with Sally Fields "Mrs. Doubtfire" before telling them, just to give them an idea of what we were going through  the first time it happened.  But unlike other families, we were all in it together. Even the decision to get back with each other after having been bitten twice also depended on the decision of the entire family.  Yes it was hard, my kids even had to undergo counselling but we were able to get over it and went through the process of healing together.  Of course a lot of prayers helped us .  Putting God in the center and alllowing Him to rule our lives was the best thing to do as the first step. He showed us what to do next  up to  the last step. " And so it will, and so it is, Thy will be done".....
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two_angels'_mom

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sis tama si sis tigerlily medyo related sa topic to ni sis funnyarte..and as i said in that thread it is still best to be honest to your child rather than lie to him/her coz if she finds out about it she/he will end up hating you pa for not telling the truth..
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