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Author Topic: toddler biting sibling and playmates  (Read 12698 times)

chesca07

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biting...
« Reply #15 on: December 29, 2011, 03:27:01 pm »

Hi Mommies.....

I have a problem with one of my twins... Azie ...when he gets angry or irritated... he bites his twin brother niya si Miko.. or kung sino man yun kaaway niya.... they are 2 years old.... i already tried to tell Azie talk to him and make him face the wall.. ..it worked just for a day.. since working ako.. hindi ko matutukan yun pag face the wall ko sa kanya everytime he bites a person.. naawa na kasi ako sa twin brother niya kasi puro kagat  n lang.. before si Miko  nangangagat din but pinagalitan ko. kaya sumunod.. ito lang isa.. haaysh.. what should I do...

thanks!!

chesca
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sarah_first time mom

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Re: biting...
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2011, 03:35:11 pm »

sorry to hear that but i think most kids go through that stage

we also have to be mindful whenever we play with our kids and we try to make lambing with them you know like when we pretend we are nibbling,eating or gently biting them yung playful way ba..minsa kasi kids tend to misinterpret those eh

just continue to remind them that it hurts people and make them cry and sad tell your baby din that it makes you sad. make it clear na you really dont want any biting but in a gentle way din

goodluck!
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two_angels'_mom

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Re: biting...
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2011, 05:11:41 pm »

sis read this article..hope this helps ;)

How to stop a toddler from biting
by
Aletha Solter, Ph.D.

Note: this advice should not be used as a substitute for medical opinion or treatment. If illness or pain are suspected, always consult with a doctor. For more information about this approach to parenting, see Dr. Solter's books: The Aware Baby, Helping Young Children Flourish, Tears and Tantrums, and Raising Drug-free Kids.

Question:

My one year old bites constantly. I haven't been able to come up with anything to stop this behavior. Sometimes he bites for no reason, but most of the time it's out of frustration. Whenever he doesn't like something he tries to bite. My 3-year-old is often the target. He also bites other children in church. I worry he that may seriously hurt someone. I feel frustrated and don't know what to do. Please help!!!

Answer:

Biting behavior is common in toddlers, and it is an indication of stress, anxiety, or frustration. It can also be caused by unhealed trauma from the past. When you understand and address the underlying reasons, it is usually possible to eliminate biting entirely. Here are some suggestions:

Suggestions for ways to prevent biting:

    You can begin by looking for sources of stress and frustration in your son's life. Are his days too over-stimulated? Has he seen frightening scenes on TV or videos? Is there anger, anxiety, or depression in your family? Do you have relationship problems with your partner? Children are sensitive to all of these possible sources of stress, and their biting behavior usually indicates that they are feeling stressed. You did not mention your approach to discipline, but this is another important consideration. Authoritarian approaches can be very frustrating for children, causing them to be aggressive. When you need to set limits or get your son to cooperate, a positive approach to discipline will not only be more effective, but will avoid contributing to your son's frustration and anger. (See my article on Twenty Alternatives to Punishment. Link: www.awareparenting.com/twenty.htm).

    Sometimes toddlers who are frequently around older siblings (or older friends) feel chronically powerless and frustrated. They use biting as a way of asserting themselves. Give your son opportunities to play with children who are slightly younger than he is, so he will have some experience with a different social situation in which he is more capable than the other child.

    Arrange to spend some time alone with each of your children every day (or at least once a week), giving them individual attention. This will help to reduce any feelings of jealousy towards each other, which may be contributing to the biting problem.

    help your three-year-old become aware of her behaviors that frustrate or upset her little brother, and help her learn to avoid doing those things. Also help her anticipate when he is likely to bite. Discuss a plan of action for those times. What concrete things can she do to avoid being bitten?

    Biting behavior is more common in toddlers who have not had sufficient opportunities to cry and rage. I therefore recommend that you try to accept your son's temper tantrums and crying spells whenever they occur. Crying and tantrums are healthy outlets for frustration. The more tensions he releases through crying and raging, the less likely he will be to bite. Avoid punishing or distracting him away from his attempts to cry or rage, and don't use time-outs. When he has a meltdown, stay close to offer him your love and support. After the crying or raging has run its course, he will probably be calm and gentle. (See my articles Understanding Tears and Tantrums and What Causes Violence?).

What to do after he has bitten another child:

When your son bites another child, say firmly: "No biting. Biting hurts." help him to understand why the other child is upset or crying. After the victim feels better, talk to the two children and use mediation to help discover the source of the immediate problem that triggered the biting. With children this young, your mediation will consist of guessing what you think each child was feeling and needing, and helping them find a solution. For example, was he feeling excluded? Did another child push him or take a toy away from him? Was he trying to accomplish something too difficult? You can say, for example, "Were you angry because you saw Tommy playing with that truck, and you wanted it? Let's find another one for you to play with."

You can also look for other immediate causes that may be contributing to his behavior. For example, is the room too crowded? Is he hungry, tired or over-stimulated? Is there insufficient adult supervision? Before leaving him in the church nursery or other situation, be sure he is comfortable being there without you. If he misses you, this anxiety could contribute to his biting behavior.

It may be necessary for you to remove your son physically from the situation, but to stay with him and hold him until he feels better and is ready to play gently with his sister or with other children in a group setting. Removing him from the situation may provide him with a pretext to start crying, and this crying will be beneficial and healing for him, provided you stay with him to offer love and support. Furthermore, this time-out together will provide him with an opportunity to reconnect with you, both physically and emotionally.

By following these suggestions, your son's biting behavior will probably decrease. However, until he stops biting, you will need to supervise him closely when he is with other children, to protect them from being hurt.
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mommatn

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Re: biting...
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2012, 11:18:04 pm »

Glad to read your post sis two-time single mom. I have a 1 year old baby boy kasi, he bites us, his parents whenever he likes. Hindi naman sya galit or umiiyak when he does that. Out of nowhere bigla na lang mangangagat and he thinks it's funny kasi he's always laughing after doing it. Pero we're trying to explain to him na it's not good. Kahit alam namin na medyo hindi pa niya kami naiintindihan e tinatry pa rin namin syang kausapin. Super sakit niya kasi mangagat, palaging kaming may sugat or bruise ng dad niya. Hindi ko alam kung baka dahil nangangati yung gums niya bec nag titeething sya. Buti na lang nabasa ko ito. I will follow all the tips I've read. Thank you sis! :)
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two_angels'_mom

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Re: toddler biting sibling and playmates
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2012, 12:05:08 am »

^ur welcome sis..pwede din nga na he's teething at nanganagti yung gums niya..but still tama din that he knows its not good..ako nga din im also taking note of the things in that article kasi si baby naman hits everytime she feels like it at hindi lang din pag galit nun una din pinapalo ko din yung kamay but when i read the article mas naintindihan ko na maybe she is just having trouble expressing her emotions so im also following the tips kasi parehas lang din yung biting and hiting i guess they are ways for out little ones to get our attention or to convey us a msg ;)
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Anne Mercado

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Re: toddler biting sibling and playmates
« Reply #20 on: January 19, 2012, 08:02:22 pm »

The moms are right! Don't feel bad and your child is definitely bad! :)

Toddlers do not know how to control their emotions or express it so they turn to other things. This is why they should always be watched - especially in school were fights are more prone to happening.

Just tell her (paulit ulit) na biting people is not nice. Say something like, you only bite food like bread or a burger.. but not people. Hehe
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toughmom moderator

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Re: toddler biting sibling and playmates
« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2013, 01:52:10 am »

Since toddlers also like saying no, what happens when your child refuses to apologize? In such cases, you can ask your tot once or twice to apologize. If he really refuses, apologize in behalf of your child, and then take him to a quiet corner to discuss his behavior.
The Importance of Teaching Kids to Apologize


http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/the-importance-of-teaching-kids-to-apologize/page/1
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clover.

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what if your child bites her classmate?
« Reply #22 on: March 20, 2013, 12:36:15 pm »



hi moms. i need help on how to deal with this or i should impose punishments sa toddler kong hindi pa mashado nakakacomprehend. "na-principal's office AKO" today because my child bit her classmate today na mas bata sa kanya. my daughter is not a bully. naka-mainstreaming sya sa isang SPED school because of speech delay. nag-mark kaunti yung sa arm nung bata. i asked what happened, kung nag-aaway ba sila prior to that. hawak lang raw ng assistant yung isang bata, then umiyak na lang raw kasi sya yung lumapit at may nakita na ngang kagat. nagulat lang raw sila sa bilis ng pangyayari. nagulat lang rin naman ako na bakit bgla mangangagat yung anak ko ng ganun ganun na lang.

i talked to my child, but she seems to ignore everything that we (with principal) say na parang nagbibingi bingihan. my child could not yet express her feelings kasi nga may speech delay. she undergoes OT and ST twice a week. i talked to her again pagdating ng bahay, and alam nyo yung reaction na ayaw makinig na bata. ganun. 

so i asked her to face the wall (which i always let her do kapag may ginawa syang kalokohan), ata ayaw niya hanggang sa naghihilaan na kami. i told her that all her teeth would fall off if she bites her classmate again, but im not sure how she understands me kasi nanghihingi na sya ng tulong sa dad niya. nagpapakampi, in short. grounded rin sya from using the computer para mag kids' games.

i feel like i'm bad at parenting. we have a baby, and hindi naman sya ganun na mangangagat.  i feel like there's really something wrong,, with me perhaps?? tama ba ang pag impose ko ng punishments? sa ngayon, andun sya sa dad niya. i needed to breathe and calm myself down muna, para kasing nagra-rush ang dugo sa ulo ko.

help po please  =(

sirchief♥maya

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Re: what if your child bites her classmate?
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2013, 04:24:13 pm »

sis in my POV, may ibang bata na hindi umuubra ang mga pagpalo or face-the-wall punishments sa kanila. ang effective tingin ko sa mga batang ganito e yung pakikipag usap ng maayos in such a manner na abot ng pang unawa niya.

yes i understand bata pa sila at malamang hindi pa nila tayo gaano naiintindihan. but we can always set examples. when my daughter was 4 years old, nagsimula syang gumanti kapag pinapalo. sumisigaw kapag napagsasabihan. sabi kasi ng FIL ko, dapat daw makatikim ng palo ang bata kung hindi lalaking matigas ang ulo. but what happened to my daughter was the other way around. mas tumigas ang ulo niya nung pinapalo namin sya ng daddy niya.  :( :( :(

maybe you can try telling your child that God gave us mouth and teeth to eat food such as (mention her favorite food) and that arms are meant to be caressed by hands only... not by biting.

hindi nyo naman nakita kung nagaway ba sila or what di ba so mahirap talaga magconclude. but what you can do is to think of ways to prevent it happening again at habaan pa ang patience.

wag mo isipin sis na bad ka sa parenting. ganun talaga we are not perfect parents. with regards sa punishment, siguro okay na yung restriction sa computer. pero in return, kapag may nagawa naman siyang maganda or pleasing bibigyan din dapat ng recognition.  :) :) :) para balanced.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2013, 04:26:54 pm by sirchief♥maya »
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: toddler biting sibling and playmates
« Reply #24 on: March 21, 2013, 11:12:16 am »

This topic merged with "what if your child bites her classmate?"
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: toddler biting sibling and playmates
« Reply #25 on: January 22, 2018, 12:07:11 pm »

How to Discipline a 2-Year-Old When He Hits His Baby Sibling

Read it on Smart Parenting. Click this link:
https://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/toddler/how-to-deal-with-a-toddler-when-he-hits-a-baby-sibling-a00026-20180117
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