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Author Topic: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?  (Read 48441 times)

mommy honamie

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #15 on: May 22, 2011, 04:59:36 pm »

haha ako din JOIN din ;)...
1yr. old na si baby ngayong june and yet d pa rin kame married.. dame pa kasing mga issue na kelangang i settle like financial and religion namen ni hubby hayy hirap nga ng ganitong situation..
lalo na when there are family get together lagi tinatanong kasal na ba kayo?
hayy hirap sumagot ako na ooffend ako eh not sure why alam ko naman I should not get offended.. :( :( :(
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momskie Jane

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #16 on: May 22, 2011, 05:12:10 pm »

     ako, sinasagot ko nalang na wala pang-budget. nag-iipon pa. 1 year na baby namin, di pa rin kami kasal. pero more than that, complicated talaga situation namin.
     7 years na kami mag-bf/gf, then ito na nga nagka-baby. hindi pa kasal. to top it off, we are also not living together. pero kami pa rin. magkapitbahay lang kami, few walks away ang bahay namin. open siya dito sa bahay and same naman ako sa kanila. hindi ako natutulog sa kanila and vice versa.
     minsan dinadala o iniiwan namin si baby sa kanila. wala namang prob. sinusupportahan naman niya kaming mag-ina.
     sa totoo lang, ang hirap! nahihirapan na ako lalo pat lumalaki na baby namin. di naman kasi always na nakakapunta siya dito sa bahay kasi nga naghahanap rin siya ng pera pantustos. pero kinakaya ko nalang.
     mas sobrang hirap tuwing nagkaka-conflict kami (kagaya ngayon). di ko alam kung paano aayusin, kung anong gagawin. kinakaya ko nalang.  :( iniiyak ko para mawala yung bigat sa dibdib ko.  :'(
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♥_caramel_♥

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2011, 02:44:27 pm »

momskie jane *hug tight* naku wag ka na po sad ,. medyo magkapareho po tayo ng lagay pero kaibahan lang po eh natutulog sya samen at minsan kame sa bahay nila ,. pag may conflict po kame di muna sya naputna samen ng ilang oras max. na yung 3 hours pero nag-uusap kame at suportado naman mga bata po ,. tsaka iniisip din po namen kasi pag lage kame mag-aaway wala mangyayare sa relasyon namen , wag ka  na po sad part talaga yun mga trials na yan just stay strong for you and baby ,. never give up kung alam mo naman na worth it si hubby at relasyon nyo kahit mdalas may conflicts
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mommy honamie

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2011, 07:16:39 pm »

momskie jane and sis caramel same tayo ng mga situation.. ang iba lang maxado sya malayo samin he's on batangas and kame ni baby dito sa manila nakatira every week end lang sya dumadating dito samin, pwede rin syang matulog samin and ako sa kanila he stays here samin for two days then back to batangas pag monday na he never miss naman to support our baby and continous ang communication namen everyday.. hirap nga eh pero ok kami happy kami kahit were far apart we always miss each other and excited kame magkita palage so the spark is always there ( i think thats the advantage) ;).. hirap lang nga sometimes pag may missunderstanding kaya iniiwasan ko rin yun mangyari cheer up momskie jane!! ;) magging ok din yan sis..
« Last Edit: May 23, 2011, 07:18:36 pm by mommy honamie »
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calleighkisses

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2011, 12:55:37 am »

kasi mahal mag pa annul? :D
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princess080910

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2011, 01:24:44 am »

we are waiting for our daughter to be able to walk down the aisle wth us. we simply want her to stand along with us on  our 2013th wedding..... promise in hubby saakin yun, haha
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sushilover123

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2011, 07:47:20 am »

Im glad na may topic na ganito. Last week ito kasi ang pinagusapan namin ng bf ko. Im 9months pregnant and mag 3 years na kami. Ok, so nauna yung baby namin kaya first priority muna si baby.. Hinihintay muna namin na masettle ang lahat. Of course gusto ko din ikasal at ayoko naman yung kasal ko e parang masabi lang na naikasal lang. Kaya gusto ko din siya pagipunan. Last week, after ng checkup ko.. Pinagawayan namin yung surname na ibibigay kay baby. Sabi ko temporary lang yung surname niya kasi di pa kami kasal.

Sa totoo lang gusto ko isunod sa surname ko si baby kaso alam ko magaaway kami. Hindi naman nga siya nagkukulang samin ni baby. Lahat ng gamit ni baby halos siya gumastos. Wala rin siya absent sa checkups ko.  Naghihirap daw siya sa work tapos ipapangalan daw sakin si baby. Tapos humirit ako na "bakit ikaw, nagalok kba ng kasal? " tapos ayun nagalit na.. Naghahanap daw ako ng pagaawayan. Akala daw ba niya uunahin namin si baby. Wag naman daw sunod sunod. Ewan ko ba.. May point naman siya pero nakakatampo lang na kahit plano parang wala naman kami napaguusapan. Basta, hindi kami magpapacivil at uunahin muna si baby. Yun daw ang plano.

Iniisip ko lang na mamaya hindi kami magkatuluyan, e surname niya nakapangalan sa anak ko. Hirap kaya pachange ng surname. Haay.. Siguro titignan pa namin kung magkakasundo talaga kami lalo na kapag nanjan na si baby. Ayoko din naman magsisi sa huli.
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momskie Jane

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2011, 11:36:01 am »

sis caramel and mommy honamie: mahirap po talaga situation namin, lam ko both kami ng hubby ko nahihirapan pero talagang choice namin to. kaya ako, nilalakasan ko nalang loob ko. kakayanin ko cause I know "this too shall pass" soon.

thanx po sa concern. it made me feel good.  :)
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♥_caramel_♥

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2011, 01:54:40 pm »

mommy honamie i likey hehe tama minsan distance helps in keeping the spark., ^^

momskie jane yes tama kaya mo yan ,.ako simula ng maencounter ko yung verse sa bible na 1 Corinthians 13:4-7  ' 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' ,. ayan lage ko nirerecite yan pag yun may moments na gusto ko magalet or magtampo sa kanya , inaalala ko yan at thank God nagiging peaceful ang heart ko ,. i know it's hard sis but yes move forward and panindigan  mo ang choice mo  ;)
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chester

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2011, 02:51:34 pm »

@sushilover123:  napag-usapan din namin ng hubby ko yan.  im pregnant before our civil marriage.  Kasi mahihirapan ako sa mga ibat ibang documents kung hindi kami kasal at sa kanya ipapasurname.  at sabi ko sa kanya eh gusto ko legal child baby namin. jejeje...
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mamacharis

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2011, 02:56:46 pm »

hay gusto ko na magpakasal kaso laki ng gagastusin sa pa change of name ko sa Nso. nagbigay na ng qoute si sis magilas hay.. nakakalula sa pangarap na lang ata ako makakapagpakasal. hehe! sana may iba pang paraan.  ;)
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momskie Jane

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #26 on: May 24, 2011, 03:21:14 pm »

tama sis caramel... =)

bookmarked rin yan sa bible ko. =)
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ea_brea

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #27 on: May 24, 2011, 04:06:00 pm »

akala ko ako lang may ganitong situation, madami din pala. :) we're not yet married ng BF ko (pero husband na tawag ko sa kanya dahil sya naman talaga), and hindi din kami live-in. 6yo na anak namin. pero ayun ipon-ipon din muna. may agreement din kasi tatay ko and BF ko na kelangan stable na siya pag ikakasal na kami. feeling ng tatay ko maluho ako, hindi naman talaga, ewan ko dun.

nakakainis lang nga yung ibang taong nagtatanong, nakakatamad na sumagot! gusto ko na lang sabihin 'secret'. haha sa panahon ngayon ay hindi na bago ang ganitong sitwasyon, kaya wag na sila magtanong.

calleighkisses

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2011, 01:23:08 am »

@mommy sushilover, same tayo. and im also 9mos preggy and will give birth anytime. gusto ko din sana ipangalan muna sakin c baby since hindi pa naman kami kasal. tyka medyo on the rock kasi ang relationship namin ngaun. kaso like your bf, ayaw niya din. parang tinanggalan ko naman daw sya ng karapatan nun. nabasa ko kasi somewhere na mahal magpapalit ng last name if ever hindi magwork un samin. more or less 20k daw. eh if ever na hindi magwork un samin xempre sakin si baby at gusto ko last name ko gamit niya. mas okay sana yung sakin muna last name tas pag kinasal kami ipapalipat nalng sa last name niya. mas madali kasi yung ganong procedure. kaso ayaw niya nga eh. bahala na pag nanganak ako. hehe.. :)
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CIB

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Re: For unmarried couples: what is the reason to not marry yet?
« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2011, 03:11:10 pm »

Parang ako lang yung may ibang klaseng dahilan  :'(
Reason: Dahil takot ako. Yun lang.

I don’t know kung saan nanggagaling yung takot pero kung phobia yung sa akin, hindi pa ako nagkakalakas ng loob na i-research pa talaga sa ngayon. Lahat ng tao na nakakakilala sa amin ang alam kinasal na kami abroad. At nung time na nasa abroad kami lahat ng tao alam kasal kami sa pinas so never talaga naging issue to sa akin. Though sa kanya issue to ng malaki dahil tumira kami sa muslim country. He was always too paranoid for me kahit na meron kaming pekeng marriage certificate doon. In all fairness to hubby and his relatives nasa akin lang talaga lahat ng sisi. Wala silang nagging pagkukulang sa akin.

He proposed to me bago ako umalis ng pinas noon and asked me to marry him kahit sa huwes kung ayaw ko sa simbahan. He bought us wedding bands  but I don’t know, hindi ko sya pinakasalan. Iniisip ko rin baka magkaroon pa kami ng kanya-kanyang buhay. I didn’t know he got depression over this hanggang sa nakasunod sya sa akin abroad after 7 mos. And the first thing he bought sa unang sweldo niya is my engagement ring. Nakwento ko na dito how he proposed to me. Without my knowledge inaayos na pala ng mil ko yung mga papers na kailangan dito sa pinas. Dahil yun yung bilin nila kay hubby “Wag mong pabayaan si Colet doon, Wag mong hayaang mapahamak.” Saka in a way parang that’s the only thing they asked him kasi gumawa talaga sila ng paraan para makasunod sya sa akin. Sa awa na sa kanya dahil depress sya everyday. We got na a pair of godparents. Binilhan niya na ako ng dress. My sil said sagot niya na gastos. Based sa abu dhabi sil ko while we are in Dubai with my brothers family. 3 weeks pagkatapos niya mag proposed dumating yung papers sa sil ko. Then on the bus on the way to abu dhabi he presented me the wedding rings.  Then for a crazy reason I dont know, I cried. I just cried and cried na pinagtitinginan na kami sa bus. Masama na lahat ng tingin ng mga patan at injano kay hubby. The fear inside was choking me talaga hindi ko rin maipaliwanag. Yun. I spent the whole day with my sil he refuses talking to me dahil sabi ko sa bus “Parang hindi ko kaya. Hindi pa ako handa.” My sil keep mum hanggang pauwi na kami nasabi ko na lang “Sorry Ate.” I felt like a horse kicked me when my sil said only this “Ikaw lang naman yung inaalala namin eh. Yung kapakanan mo.” Dahil yun nga nasa stranged country kami. Muslim country pa. Iba yung culture sa atin.

He refused talking to me for a week. Mula don sa byahe naming pauwi hindi niya talaga ako kinakausap. I love him I know it in my heart wala na akong ibang mamahalin and my reason to him is It’s just a piece of paper. Asawa ko sya. I never question myself dahil the day I promised him that talagang I take it in my heart. That’s a vow I made upon myself, to him, to God. He was depressed for a week din calling me everynight  while crying “it’s just a piece of paper bakit hindi mo magawa?” Pero yun nga hindi ko alam kung bakit. Even my brother make me understand ganon lang talaga. Normal yung kabahan. Pero In all fairness, all of them respect my decision. Walang namilit. Walang nanumbat. Wala talagang nagalit sa akin kahit yung mga nasa pinas. Nalungkot lang talaga lahat lalo na yung mil ko. Akala ko talaga tapos na kami nun, pero yun after a week kinausap na rin ako ni hubby. Tapos ora-orada nagpagawa sa recto ng pekeng marriage certificate for my sake hehe.

To this day. May baby na kami. Naiisip ko na rin yung legalities. Naiisip ko na rin not for me but for my daughter’s sake. Im overcoming my fear by browsing  weddings, bookmarking mga clips. Saving anything related sa weddings pero kahit nakikita na ni hubby hindi sya kumikibo. Sometimes nakikita ko sya napapangiti pag nakikita niya yun pero I guess he doesn’t wanna push his luck. 2 beses ko na syang pinaasa. Though Im open na to him, halimbawa my wedding cake ako nakita I tell him na “Gusto mo ganitong wedding cake din.” He would just smile. Saka my mom talks about it. Kristiyano kami alam ko naman yun kaya nga Im praying also for that. Kasi ako lang yung hindi kasal sa aming 5 magkakapatid. Dadating din yung time, kasi nag promised ako kay hubby noon. Ako yung magyayaya. Ako yung magpro-propose sa kanya pag kaya ko na. Gusto ko dumating din yung araw na yun. Kasi alam ko umaasa talaga sya sa doon. Naging insecurity niya of some sorts. Kasi sometimes if he’s vulnerable nasasabi niya yun sa akin, naisusumbat niya pag nagagalit sya talaga. Baligtad nga kami kasi parang sya yung babae. Sya yung natatakot iwanan kasi wala naman syang ipang hahabol talaga sa akin.
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