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Author Topic: can a wife really overcome her husband's infidelity/adultery?  (Read 72783 times)

platinumangel

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I've become such a negative person after a series of issues involving my husband and his girl officemates.  I'm being eaten up by negative thoughts, emotions, mood most of the time.  I hate what I have become after all those issues - negative, suspicious, prying and insecure person, a far cry from the real usual me.  I've lost my fire to work eagerly, take care of my self and even keep the house in good shape.  It's just so frustrating now :(
« Last Edit: June 27, 2011, 03:32:02 pm by platinumangel »
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cheena

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2011, 11:49:19 am »

pareho tayo sis, after i found out na other girl ni husband yung officemate niya (angel din name)  i become more suspicious and mainisin. feeling ko parang sumama ugali ko kasi i always think of bad things sa kanila lalo na dun sa girl. ang dami kong gustong sabihin na bad dun sa girl pero hindi ko naman masabi.. at first nga i hate to see couple na sweet eh, super naiinggit ako and na hurt, na sana ganun din kami ni hubby...

grabe talaga yung effect ng ginawa ni husband, ni wala nga ko kaaway all my life, siguro mga simpleng tampo lang sa mga friends ko, hanggang ganun lang ang galit ko but because of what he did feeling ko iba na ko, bitter na ko and laging naiinis. :(
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mamay_sweety

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2011, 12:51:47 pm »

ohhhhhh! me... so sad din now... on the day of my daughter's 1st bday nabasa ko sa cellphone  ng husband ko na meron siyang special someone... and that someone is  i don't know if girl or boy... if i will evaluate ang husband ko parang he can be with boy or girl... sobrang sakit.. parang mas masakit pag nalaman ko na lalake ang special someone niya ngayon.. wah!  i don't know how can fix this issue now???
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Kuya Xtian

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2011, 01:00:18 pm »

Well, all things would settle in a nice way of talking with one another. Pag usapan nyo mabuti at ilatag kung ano yung mga problem ng bawat isa. Check mo din kung how sincere siya sa pakikipag usap sa'yo. As part of family experience, di natin maaalis yung mga ganitong sitwasyon.

So, the best solution pa din is mag-usap kayo
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techno_green

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2011, 04:50:59 pm »

pray then wait and see if he really means what he say. not thru words but by actions. all you have to do is observe and wait...  makikita mo naman kung nagbago na sya.
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ann16

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2011, 10:28:02 pm »

hello sis, my advice is to start fixing it by yourself. dont involve your husband muna. i know mahirap talaga yang situation wherein wala ka sa sarili mo. wag mo iasa ang sarili mo sa hubby this time. you alone is responsible for yourself. make yourself busy. as for hubby naman, wag ka magpadala muna sa mga sinasabi niya, ang importante e ang actions niya. give him time to prove na nagbago sya. dont think negative thoughts, wag ka pacontrol sa ganun. give your self time din to heal... i hope i make sense :)
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r213128

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2011, 08:31:54 am »

hay sis ganun din ako super negative grabe dumi ng isip ko ngaun lalo pa sa call center ako nagwwork kaya madami ako alam na mga istorya ng mga pangangaliwa. hay ang hirap. hindi ko alam kung pano ko pa maalis ang ganito. im always paranoid.
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♥maarte♥

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2011, 09:19:11 am »

been there... some some time ago.. not long ago... and i just have my prayers with me... and it keep me going.  8)
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"love dies when the tongue starts to lie, when the ♥ begins to bleed and the soul pleads for silence."

platinumangel

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2011, 05:44:18 pm »

Thanks, ann16.  Nakakalungkot lang isipin na yung taong inaakala mong magiging support mo, sya pa yung source ng heartache mo...  But you were right, I must not let negativity control me.  Inuunti-unti ko nga ang pagbangon eh.  Sa totoo lang hindi rin naman kaya ng physical built ko ang mga stress and pressures na pinagdadaanan ko.  Pinipilit ko lang lagi everyday.  Mahirap nga talaga yung wala ka sa sarili, mahirap din pabayaang ganon ka ng matagal kasi sakin umaasa yung anak ko at yung mga house helpers na nagta-trabaho sakin.


hello sis, my advice is to start fixing it by yourself. dont involve your husband muna. i know mahirap talaga yang situation wherein wala ka sa sarili mo. wag mo iasa ang sarili mo sa hubby this time. you alone is responsible for yourself. make yourself busy. as for hubby naman, wag ka magpadala muna sa mga sinasabi niya, ang importante e ang actions niya. give him time to prove na nagbago sya. dont think negative thoughts, wag ka pacontrol sa ganun. give your self time din to heal... i hope i make sense :)
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buuurp

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2011, 08:09:33 pm »

inhale exhale. im currently going through something similar right now. thanks for two sp sisters that help me go through this. pero yeah i hate this feeling. i hate me being bad, thinking bad thoughts about the other woman. pero kasi....... malandeeee! anyway... kapag ganun inhale exhale then i ask God to clear my thoughts nalang. hay lalo na kapag naaalala ko. or naiimagine ko. again, inhale exhale.
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platinumangel

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2011, 02:29:48 pm »

O diba nakakaloka talaga!  Anyway, I think prayers lang talaga ang strong solution during the time na magulo pa ang isip natin... Pag medyo nagkakaroon na ng direction, prayers pa rin.

inhale exhale. im currently going through something similar right now. thanks for two sp sisters that help me go through this. pero yeah i hate this feeling. i hate me being bad, thinking bad thoughts about the other woman. pero kasi....... malandeeee! anyway... kapag ganun inhale exhale then i ask God to clear my thoughts nalang. hay lalo na kapag naaalala ko. or naiimagine ko. again, inhale exhale.
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wendystar

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2011, 08:34:47 pm »

hello mga sis!
just recently, napagdaanan ko din 'to.
i was so devastated. as in  :'(
i gave my full trust kase to my hubby and then suddenly may ganung issue.

Oh well, what I did was to assess the situation.
Siguro may pagkukulang din ako as a wife.
Nag usap kami and nailabas namin yung mga problema namin sa isa't isa and how we're going to work those out.
After that, I prayed.
It's very difficult to trust again after being betrayed.
Pero I thought that I won't be able to love him again the way I used to if there's no trust.
Yun lang yun siguro.
Mahirap kase yung walang tiwala diba? Laging paranoid, insecure at pagmumulan pa yun ng marami pang away.  :(
If both of you have decided to restart with a clean slate, you should forgive and forget.
Sabi nga sa bible, LOVE KNOWS NO RECORD OF WHEN IT HAS BEEN WRONGED. :)

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nylej20

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2011, 08:45:25 pm »

very well said sis wendy..i've never been into situation like this pero some of my friends do. na absorb ko lahat ng mga frustrations nila and galit sa mundo. i even hated their husbands kasi kung di dahil sa kanila di magiging ganun friend ko.  lagi ko lang sinasabi na pray hard and don't lose hope, kung gusto nyo talaga mag work ulit relationship nyo, you have to trust them again no matter how hard it is. kung nagsisisi naman si hubby and humingi ng sorry sa inyo, baka pwede bigyan ulit ng another chance. di ba nga love knows no boundaries?kapag may mga ganitong sitwasyon akong nababasa sa thread, lagi ko iniisip yung story ni mommy fe at husband niya and yung mga struggles niya nung time na naliligaw ng landas husband niya. napaka inspiring ng story nila. BTW, member din si mommy fe ng SP for those na hindi sya kakilala.  be strong mga mommies, i know how hard it is but always remember theres always a reason behind all of this..just keep on praying...
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wendystar

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #13 on: July 04, 2011, 09:07:53 pm »

^ Oo nga, inspiration ko din ang marriage ni Mommy FE, sis. :)  (sana pwede siyang i-tag dito! ahaha).
Anyway, yun nga siguro, kase there will come a time na darating 'to sa buhay mag-asawa. I mean, given na yun e.
Pwedeng maiwasan pero konti pa lang yung nakakagawa non. At sadly, wala akong kilalang ganun. :(
Giving chances is up to the person who was hurt. Pero yun nga, kung nagbigay na tayo ng chance, mas maganda siguro magtiwala na din ulit tayo. I know it's difficult pero mas mahirap naman siguro para sa'tin yung maghinala lagi, magcheck kung nasan ba si hubby, maghintay ng reply, magalit kapag walang reply. Mas mahirap yata yun.  :-\

In my case naman po kase, sinabi ko na napatawad ko na siya.
Ang maganda lang, he's doing his part.
He tells me where he is, updates me every now and then.
(Kahit hindi ko na tanungin). He's showing me that he's worthy of the chance I gave him.
And nowadays, we pray together. I guess that's the key :)
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buuurp

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2011, 10:43:51 am »

sana balang araw maging tulad din kami ni Mommy Fe at Daddy Mani. sana totoong nagbabago ang mga babaero. sana di na maulit. alam nyo yung ganitong feeling? para akong rollercoaster. okay ako, hindi ako okay, okay ako, hindi ako okay. yung andyan yung hope, tapos mawawala, tapos andyan nanaman. prayers na nga lang ang pinanghahawakan ko ngayon. kasi di ko na alam kung san pa ko huhugot ng pagtitiwala. ayoko din maging paranoid. ayoko magbawal. ayoko maging mahigpit. kasi gusto ko yung kasama ko yung mga mahal ko sa buhay pinagkakatiwalaan ko. gusto ko yung mga taong nasa paligid ko aalagaan nila yung puso ko. yung di nila ako lolokohin. di nila ako papaasahin. at di nila ako pagmumukhang tan**. minsan i wish sana wala nalang akong nalaman. pero ang pangit din naman ng feeling na pinagtatawanan ka sa likod mo ng other woman diba?

ang hirap magpatawad sakin ngayon.  :( kung kelan magasawa na kami nahihirapan ako. kasi feeling ko ang bobo ko talaga eh. niloko na nga ko ilan beses nung magbfgf kami tapos pinakasalan ko pa? nagpabuntis pa ko. wahh. pero inhale exhale ulit. aalalahanin ko lahat ng payo sakin ni sis funnyarte at mommy fe... i'll erase the negativity away. ito lang kasi biglang naramdaman ko today...
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Sometimes, its not that people change…you just find out who they really are.
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