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Author Topic: can a wife really overcome her husband's infidelity/adultery?  (Read 72717 times)

nylej20

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2011, 11:45:10 am »



ang hirap magpatawad sakin ngayon.  :( kung kelan magasawa na kami nahihirapan ako. kasi feeling ko ang bobo ko talaga eh. niloko na nga ko ilan beses nung magbfgf kami tapos pinakasalan ko pa? nagpabuntis pa ko. wahh. pero inhale exhale ulit. aalalahanin ko lahat ng payo sakin ni sis funnyarte at mommy fe... i'll erase the negativity away. ito lang kasi biglang naramdaman ko today...

siguro sis mahal mo talaga eh..kaya ganyan ka pa rin sa kanya and di na kayang saklawan ng ibang tao yung nararamdaman mo. its ur choice. be strong na lang. after all there trials sa buhay mo you will become a stronger person. and dont stop believing na someday masasabi mo rin na "and we live happily ever after.." :) :)
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platinumangel

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #16 on: July 05, 2011, 04:52:19 pm »

Alam nyang trust ang kailangan para maibalik yung dating okay na status namin per paulit-ulit naman sisirain... So anong dapat gawin don?
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wendystar

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2011, 09:42:14 pm »

^ naku sis pag ganyan, mukang mahirap na talaga pagkatiwalaan. Kase paulit -ulit kang nasasaktan at pinapaasa. Diba nga sabi, 'once is enough, twice is too much.'
For me kase, the man should not only do his part but exert a lot of effort kung talagang gusto nyang ma-win back yung trust na nawala. Kapag paulit-ulit na ginagawa, he needs professional help na. Kung talagang gusto pa maayos yung relationship, both parties should be willing to seek help. Nakakalungkot isipin na kailangan pa ng ibang tao para lang maayos ng mag-asawa yung problema nila. But if that would help, then go.
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buuurp

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2011, 09:48:54 pm »

siguro sis mahal mo talaga eh..kaya ganyan ka pa rin sa kanya and di na kayang saklawan ng ibang tao yung nararamdaman mo. its ur choice. be strong na lang. after all there trials sa buhay mo you will become a stronger person. and dont stop believing na someday masasabi mo rin na "and we live happily ever after.." :) :)


salamat sis. i believe ganun talaga ang magasawa. kung willing naman ayusin at totoong nagsisisi ang nagkamali then ayusin. yun lang its hard and its a loooooong process. sana malagpasan namin to. i do see that he is trying day by day. yun lang sometimes bigla nalang ako natitigilan at naiisip ko ayun sakit pa din!! then bigla akong maiinis or magagalit sakanya. it really helps to pray and ask God to clear my mind of such not so nice thoughts...
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babyblair

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2011, 05:52:09 pm »

same situation ako sis, pero nauntog ako nung kinonfront ako ni hubby sabi niya sakin ano daw ba talaga gusto ko mamuhay sa nakaraan?
sobrang bitter ko at talagang naging bato ako after ng lahat ng ginawa niya sa akin. na hindi ko na halos alam kung papaano siya kakausapin dahil feeling ko ibang tao na siya. at ibang tao ako..  nawala yung compassion at love ko sakanya. puro hatred.
but what helped me was these thoughts:
1. i can't be this dark person for my baby
2. he's trying to build our family again why won't i cooperate
3. ego lang ang na-strike sa akin kaya di ako maka-move on
4. will i let the girl and her presence rule my life forever? she once hurt me but that won't keep me from being happy. hangga't ganito ako she's controlling me. and thats worse!

minsan naisip ko siguro sa iba na ako makakahanap ng inner peace and it will make things even. pero i realized babawi din sakin si hubby and pag nakita ni third party na we're a happy family . isang malaking saksak sakanya yun, na once in her life naging isa siya malaking KABIT and that will haunt her forever while you get the better life :)
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platinumangel

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2011, 07:04:42 pm »

Tama ka Babyblair...  Yan din ang mga naisip ko eh that's why gusto kong i-pull together yung sarili ko para makalabas ako ng maayos.  I will really start fixing my life na talaga.  Para kung mag-cross pa ulit ang landas namin nung mga babae na yon eh I can face them with my head up!  Pagandahan at paayusan na lang ang labanan.  Thanks!
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amfjusay

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How can i be strong sa lahat ng nangyayare s buhay ko?
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2011, 07:41:51 pm »

Sana ako ganyan din maramdaman ko.  Hes keep on telling me na aausin niya pero hes still on communicating dun s bwisit na babaeng un. Parang on monday dun palang niya sasabihin na its over. ano ba un db.
Sa totoo lang gsto ko xang maaus pero nakikipagcommunicate pa rin siya d b iba na un.
What for?
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babyblair

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2011, 08:16:40 pm »

ay mga sis kung di parin tumitigil ibang usapan na yan
walk out of the relationship na and be firm, kasi talaga mga lalaki hangga't makakalusot, go yan e!
kung nakikita nila na kahit ano gawin nila, lokohin ka harapan eh in the end pinagbibigyan sila aabuso yan. show them it's enough and it must stop.. and that you wont let them treat you that way. you deserve better!
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amfjusay

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How can i be strong sa lahat ng nangyayare s buhay ko?
« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2011, 08:32:48 pm »

Sana maging strong din ako katulad nio. Sana kayanin ko to
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babyblair

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2011, 09:07:04 pm »

sis, mind over matter. isipin mo na lang para kay baby lahat.. kailangan mo maging strong for her if not motivation yung for yourself... if there's a will there's a way.. i hope you will see your worth and that you only deserve the best!  :)
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filipinaako

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Re: How do you get it together after losing your trust in your husband?
« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2011, 10:45:42 pm »

Ang hirap pag trust na ang usapan. Madaling sabihing napatawad na pero ang pagdududa ay hindi na maiiwasan. Kaya malaki ang respeto ko sa mga wife  na kayang magpatawad ng asawang nangaliwa kasi it's a big sacrifice to just forget and forgive. As for me, d ko alam kung ano gagawin ko if ever ma experience ko siya.
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Mac.Rodriguez

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can a wife really overcome her husband's infidelity/adultery?
« Reply #26 on: July 20, 2011, 09:14:10 am »

recently, i found out that my husband was dating a girl officemate. he confessed his love for the girl in my face after i proved to him i have proof of his infidelity. he underestimated my abilities because i've been dependent on him for the past 3 years since i quit my job to be a full time mom. though he said that the girl refused to give in to a relationship with him due to religious beliefs and cultural differences (i don't believe him!), i've already expressed my anger during the confrontation. kasi naman, kung hindi sya gusto nung babae, hindi naman din papayag magpahalik sa "cheek" (kuno) ng maraming beses diba?

me and my husband are both seeking personal counseling for our individual healing however, no arrangement yet if we are still going to fix the marriage or not. for me, the "intention" of being with someone else or the imagination of intimacy besides your partner is considered CHEATING/INFIDELITY/ADULTERY.

i never expected that my husband would do such deed because i know he is a good person until i had proof. though at present time, i've already moved on and accepted what he did, i just couldn't bring myself to forgive him. yes, i still do love him unconditionally however the one thing that i valued the most is the one thing he did and he knows this. if he decides to fix our marriage and show great remorse on what he did , i don't know how i can take him because just the thought of him touching me or my hand or try to kiss me on the cheek or lips or worst... sexual intercourse, i will always have this thought "he's thinking of the girl and not me!!!" and i'm really disgusted. my counselor said that i should start planting the seed of forgiveness in my heart so that soon as time goes, the seed will grow and i'll be able to forgive my husband just like God has always been patient with us and forgives our sins when we ask forgiveness.

to those women who has undergone this kind of tragedy in their marriage and have recovered with their whole heart and now have a healthy, loving, faithful marriage: how did you do it? what convinced you to totally forgive your husband? what made you feel intimate with him again without the doubts that he his NOT thinking of the other woman?

i don't know if i can overcome what my husband did and be able to be intimate with him again should we fix our marriage :'(
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FV's mom

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Re: can a wife really overcome her husband's infidelity/adultery?
« Reply #27 on: July 20, 2011, 11:37:02 am »

hi sis! big hug for you..

I know no words can ease the pain sa mga pinagdadaanan mo right now.. wag mo hayaan na mapuno ng galet yung heart mo.. I know in God's time all the wounds in your heart will soon to be healed through prayers and faith in the Lord..

If you are planning to fix your marriage, pag-usapan niyo ni hubby and let him try harder to win you back so he will be able to realize your worth..

Trials lang yan sa marriage niyo sis para mas maging matatag kayo in the years to come..

Regarding with your concern- your love for him will lead you to forget everything and find a happiness that you deserve

Smile cause God loves you very much.. :)
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mommy mhy

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Re: can a wife really overcome her husband's infidelity/adultery?
« Reply #28 on: July 20, 2011, 11:56:24 am »

hug for you sis.....I know the feeling......

Hi sis pinagdaanan na namin mag asawa pinagdadaanan mo ngayon....he has been unfaithful way back then wala pa kaming anak noon ang mahirap kasi sa akin sobrang insecurities nararamdaman ko kasi feeling ko kaya ginawa niya sa akin is hindi ko sya kayang bigyan ng baby...sa isip ko baka gusto niya mag kaanak at hindi ko kayang ibigay...i am thinking of giving up...I am thinking of setting him free...


That was 2008 nasa abroad sya nun and naramdaman ko may kakaiba...sabi ko sa kanya pag hindi ka umuwi befor may birthday wala na...hindi mo na ako makikita...pero hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya na may alam ako...na may nararamdaman ako....woman instinct ika nga....My birthday is Sept. 20 umuwi sya ng Aug. 31....Tapos nag usap kami...Inamin niya na nagkaroon sya ng gf.....I stay calm hindi ako naghisterical kasi pag ginawa ko 'yun malamang hindi na sya mag open....Sinabi niya na wala daw namang nangyari sa kanya pero syempre hindi ako naniniwala kasi malayo ako...takot daw sya makulong kaya hindi daw niya ginalaw bawal kasi dun yung ganun.....Tulala ako hindi ko alam kung ano iisipin pati pakiramdam ko blangko....Sabi niya sa akin wala na daw 'yung girl....I really don't know how to react....Siguro mas nanaig 'yung love ko sa kanya...He ask for forgiveness naman and he promise na hindi na uulit...I didn't give him my forgiveness right away...Pinag isipan ko at tinimbang lahat ng mga bagay bagay....Pero still nanaig talaga pagmamahal ko sa kanya....Bumalik sya sa ibang bansa at sinabi ko sa kanya if nangyari ulit wala na kaming dapat pag usapan....Sabi niya aayusin lang daw niya resignation niya and clearances babalik na sya for good....pero it took pa din 1 year and 3 months October sya bumalik nun eh....

Pero second quarter ng 2009 nagpropose sya na magpakasal kami ulit this time sa church...to renew our vows para daw mawala lahat ng bad vibes sa relationship namin.....then I agree Jan. 2010 bumalik sya ng Pilipinas to fulfill his promise at March 2010 nagpakasal kami ulit,....

November 2010 GOD gave us the greatest gift which is out little Matthew.....now I know na faithful na sya na lahat ng hirap niya for us na lang....pero there's a time na kahit konting late lang sya umuwi mag iisip ako...pero magpapaliwanag agad sya kahit d ko hinihingi...he always assure me na ako lang at wala ng iba...sana magtuloy tuloy na.....

sorry napahaba kwento....
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ainge88

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Re: can a wife really overcome her husband's infidelity/adultery?
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2011, 12:54:27 pm »

:( :'(

Prayers and more prayers. Turn to Him when all else fails. Offer your trials and hurts to Him.

Sa ngayon siguro sis since fresh pa ang wound tingin mo hindi mo mapapatawad si hubby. Give yourself time to heal. Yes, na accept mo na yung ginawa niya pero you're still hurting.

Ang hirap naman ng ganyan :( will pray for you and hubby.

Good move yung pag punta niyo sa counselors.

Godbless sis.
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