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Author Topic: Is your Mom toxic?  (Read 8175 times)

chococream

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Is your Mom toxic?
« on: July 03, 2011, 04:20:16 pm »

Hi mga sis..

By this time I'm asking this to you is because...Hind ko na maintindihan mom ko...instead of helping me get through this tumulous times, she is making it worse. Worse in a sense that she keeps on bringing my past over and over again. Yes mga sis for 3years hindi pa sya naka get over na ang daughter niya is nabuntis and until now hindi pa nagpakasal ng dad ng anak niya. Ewan ko bah...instead na happy ako na makipag.usap sa kanya kasi namimis ko sya naopen always ang past...ayoko nah...its not helping naman us in our financial difficulities. Instead of understanding us and support us in our decision ewan.

Hindi ko na talaga maintindihan mom ko. The worst pa is she posted on my wall sa facebook kugn ano ano about me and my hubby... lahat tolooy ng friends namin ni hubby nagtext kung totoo ba or ano bakit nagpost ang mother ko ng ganun.

Mom ko kasi is super disheartened nung nabuntis ako pero pinagutan naman ako ng hubby ko pero hindi pa lang kami kasi nagpakasal mutual agreement. We want to get married by our own means and dapat settled na lahat. Hindi dahhil sinabi ni mother and inlaws na we should get married or sa mga tao na nakakahiya..

Sorry napahaba...dissappointed lang talaga ako sa mom ko. No matter ano ang explain ko in a nice way hidni na naiintindihan. :'( :'( :'(
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mamacharis

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2011, 07:24:57 pm »

ganun talaga ang mga nanay sa kanilang anak sis. kung ganun man ang naging reaction niya dahil sa bigla kang nabuntis at hindi pa nagpapakasal eh intindihin natin kung bakit ganun. tingin ko lang baka mataas ang expectation ng magulang mo sayo kaya ganyan ang reaction niya till now.

walang problema kung ma disappoint ka sis hanggat gusto mo pero tandaan mo ang mga magulang natin ang gusto nila eh yung best para sa kanilang anak. im not saying na hindi best ang nanyayari syo.. alam mo naman ang ibang parents parang hindi nila naiintidihan ang new generation.

kaw na rin nagsabi na kahit anong paliwanag mo parang di tinatanggap ng mommy mo nakakalungkot lang kung ganun pero sis di maglalaon eh mawawala din kung ano mang hinanakit at galit meron ang mommy mo sayo/sainyo. magpray ka lang sis nandito lang kami. =)
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filipinaako

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2011, 07:44:27 pm »

sana maintindihan mo sis na mother mo siya.... and since you're a mother you must know na tayong mga nanay we only want what's best for our kids..siguro na disappoint lang siya pero darating din ang araw maiintindihan ka niya...or now pa lang she understand you but don't know how to bridge the gap..did you try to have a heart to heart talk with her?  as daughters, we must not hold grudges against our mothers because without them, we are not here..POV lang... :)
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DeeCee

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2011, 10:39:15 pm »

naku sis tell me about it  ::)  my mom is such a nagger as in suuuuper nag every morning then before we sleep. there was even a time na she just talked straight 1 hour kasi hindi ko na siya sinasagot. which is sorta funny kasi nagalit siya kung bakit hindi ako sumasagot eh nagagalit rin naman siya when i explain things to her so i let her be. her worst habit is making sumbat everything to me kasi i also got pregnant (unexpected) and SD left after i gave birth (one of the reason nga rin na he said kasi raw grabe magnag mother ko).
 
sometimes naiiyak nalang ako kasi i get really frustrated why she acts like that and being a mother myself i always swore na i will never let my child's spirit go down (this actually takes back even before when i was still in high school during a heated argument my mother suddenly shouted at me and said na she wish she just killed me when i was still inside her). the first time siguro na i felt like that with my mom was even waaaay back when i was 6 years old, i was having a hard time learning how to read filipino words and i asked her to teach me kaso nga nahihirapan talaga ako, then she suddenly shouted "BOBO!" at me out of nowhere and walked out.
 
you know, you cant teach an old dog new tricks so i just let her be. if i can only find a way to earn money which she always antagonize, i will proly find a new place for me and my baby para she wont grow up and see that side of my mom. dont get me wrong i still think my mom is a good mom pero she has an attitude problem (that's how i see it). anyway, just stay away from her as long as kaya mo. not naman super stay away but you know a little space is good. if your mom is like my mom who still thinks i am a 16year old i guess you just have to live with it. but if not then you can talk things with her and finally settle it.  ;)
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bebezeth

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2011, 09:37:49 am »

hi sis! same tayo ganyan din ang mother ko nung na-buntis ako pero ang pinag-kaiba nga lang kasal kami ng civil ng secret lang before I get pregnant ang sinusumbat naman niya ngayon eh kelangan kaming makasal sa simbahan. Wala pa kasing budget kaya hindi pa muna total naman kasal na kami ng civil. Pero siya hay naku ganun pa rin nagagalit at kaya nga daw kami away ng away dahil hindi kami kasal sa church wala daw blessing. Though I understand kahit papaano yon sentiments niya nakakainis pa rin especially nasasaktan din si hubby when he hears it.  Hayaan na lang siguro natin sila. Ganun naman ata ang mga mothers... Yong nga lang nakakainis lang talaga...
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chococream

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2011, 11:36:04 am »

@sis DeeCee..somewhat almost same tayo ng mother...buti lang sayo medyo malayo ang interval..kasi sa akin every other day or well every day siguro...she would compare me to our neighbor na yong matalino...maganda and well boluk nga daw kasi ako....yong bobo din...whole highschool and college ako ganyan din kaya nung highschool ako naka hanap ako ng paraan I went to summer jobs para hindii ako parati sa bahay.

Yes I her little girl. I think she still thinks of me a teenager..wlang utak, hindi maronong dumiskarte at walang direcsyon sa buhay. Nung nag 1year old agn baby ko na over heard ko si mama sabi niya kay baby...sana namatay nalang daw dad ni baby para forever na si baby at ako sa kanya. HIndi na sya iiwan.

I forgot to mention. Kaya meron din resentments si hubby kasi always sinasabihan kasi sya ng mama ko na sya ang salot ng buhay namin, dahil nung dumating sya sa buhay namin.

Im not living with my mom anymore pero kahit ano ano ang ginagawa niya para lang bumalik ako sa kanya...sometimes I think of suicide..nakakapagod na kasi...hindi niya maintindihan that I have my own choices and decisions. HIndi naman niya control buhay ko kasi kahit nung wala akong pambili ng gatas ng anak ko ni kusing at 1p hindi niya ako pinahiram kahit marami pa syang pera.

hay..ayoko nah...bigat bigat na ng loob ko...she is not making it any better...kahit anong post niya sa newspaper at threat bumalik lang ako sa kanya well never work...mas lalong lumalayo ako sa kanya....affected na affected na kami ni hubby sa problema ko kay mama...sigoro if ever na magdecide na ako na humiwalay sa kanya...hindi parin ako babalik sa kay mama..never...mas peaceful sa malayo..yong wlang nakakakilala sayo...at walang mag.sasabi araw araw for 3years na nabuntis ka, pok pok ka, atbp.

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

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mamacharis

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2011, 02:01:56 pm »

sis iashi

wag mo gagawin yang iniisip mo na mag suicide. tandaan mo sis kahit gaano kahirap ang pinag dadaanan mo ngayon matatapos din yan. tatagan mo lang ang loob mo at magdasal ka.
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DeeCee

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2011, 10:41:15 am »

honestly sis sometimes i feel that way rin BUT when you think about it is it worth making patol? make sure lang na you wont make your child feel that way ever and just pray na evrything will be better. buti nga ikaw you're not living with her and you have your partner na you can confide everyday. show her nalang na you are happy kung nasan ka ngayon and dont regret a single thing  :D
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chofontanilla

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2011, 11:05:02 am »

I'm really glad that may ganito palang topic sa SP. You know what mga sis katulad din ako ni sis iashi. I am now 5 months pregnant and my family hindi pa din matanggap yung nangyari kasi nga unexpected din. Hindi rin kami makapagpakasal ni hubby for some reasons and yun yung nagpapahirap sa kanilang matanggap. I am now living with my in laws with my hubby kaso mas gusto nilang magstay ako sa bahay but ayaw ni hubby na magkahiwalay kami gusto niyang alagaan kami ni baby kasi super spoiled kami ni baby sa kanya at ginagawa niya lahat para maging maayos kami. Kaso nung nasa bahay na namin ako kung ano ano na sinabi nila na umabot sa ipapapulis nila si hubby. Iyak ako ng iyak the whole day and hindi ko alam gagawin ko. Kahit na nandito ako kela hubby umiiiyak pa din ako dahil sa mga nangyari. Buti na lang very supportive si hubby saken pati family niya ginagawa nila ang lahat para di na ako malungkot. Haay, super toxic talaga. Sana hindi masyado maapektuhan baby ko.
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chococream

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2011, 04:25:42 pm »

@chofontanilla

yes sis, i feel for you.  kaya natin to sis..hindi naman dahil wala tayong kuenta na mga anak or dahil hindi natin na appreciate sila pero too much love o too much obsession na sila ang mag cocontrol ng buhay natin.

we can get through this.

wag ka paapekto sis...bahala sila...
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chofontanilla

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2011, 04:40:19 pm »

buti nga inopen mo tong topic na to e. Haay, minsan kahit gustuhin nating wag paapekto hindi pa rin natin mapigilan na isipin sila kasi after all, sila pa din family natin. Nagaalala lang kami ni hubby kasi madalas na talaga akong umiyak at baka maapektuhan si baby namin.
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chococream

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2011, 07:24:09 pm »

Be thankful sis at you have your hubby when you need him this time the most. Ako nga nakaaya ko alone with that toxic of a mom from day one of pregnancy to almost 2years old na si baby ko .  Recently lang kasi na hindi na talga kaya si mama pakisamahan. Enough is Enough for me na kasi ang ginagawa niya sa buhay ko. HIndi naman kasi nakakatulong...nag.give up na ako sa thought na in time matuturuan niya sarilli niya na i.tapon ang dissapoiint niya ..pero minimaintain kasi niya ang resentment.

IN short umalis ako sa bahay na layas sis,, hindi naman bukal sa loob ng mother ko na umalis ako sa bubungan niya kahit siguro married na ako hindi parin yon mangyayari kasi parati niya sinasabi na dun lang ako sa kanya.

Mas peaceful ako now dito ako sa inlaws ko, supportive sila sa akin at sa baby namin. Iiwan ko si past na sis sa past bahala na ang maiiwan sa past, kung si mama ko din gusto sa past sya dun ako mabubuhay ako sa present and sa future.
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chinadoll

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2011, 11:22:14 am »

I can relate to your post/s Mommies. My Mom and I don't exactly see each other eye to eye and she is very verbal about her thoughts and dislike about my life decisions including my marriage.

For me, I do not want to stress myself over what makes me unhappy. I told my Mom that Iam sorry if I seem to be avoiding her but I just get too  weighed down by her constant criticisms and negative energy.

I just prefer to surround myself with happy, hopeful, optimistic, positive and encouraging people.
It did strengthen my family bond with my husband and baby. We learned how to rely on our own without depending too much on people who are not in favor of our decision.

I told my Mom that I will always love her and have a lifetime of debt and gratitude for all she has done and sacrificed for me. But in the end, I just wish she will accept me and love me unconditionally for who Iam and one day be proud.

Let's be strong, endure and overcome with God's guidance and help!
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unknown

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2011, 10:44:29 am »

my mother is super toxic palagi when it comes in money matters walang kakontentuhan sa buhay, kaming tatlong magakakapatid felt bad sa ganitong ugali niya.  Like last night kumakain ako pero parang nanunumbat saka namumuna na bakit yong katulong ko hindi ko pinapameryenda kaya siya na lang magpameryenda.  tapos sasabihin pa sa akin na meron daw siya napanood na katulong daw pinatay ang amo dahil hindi pinakain ang katulong, sabi ko anung sense nun gusto mo ganun din mangyari sa akin.  meryenda lang naman ang nagkulang, kumpleto naman sa kain ang katulong ko umaga tanghalian haponan.  Parang nanunumbat na ewan eh nakakainis lang talaga meron naman pera ang kutulong kung gusto niya talaga meryendahin hindi ko rin naman namomonitor yon.   Tapos sasabihin pa na malakas daw sa gas sa pagluluto ang katulong ko init ng init ng ulo eh natural lang naman na initin ang ulam para sa bata eh.  saka nagbibigay lang naman ako ng pambili ng gas eh buti sana kung hindi eh.  :'( :'( :'(
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mariann

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Re: Is your Mom toxic?
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2011, 07:02:56 pm »

in a way, being mothers also, we can empathize with our moms who always wants the best for us.  however, there are really some moms who overdo their being over-protective.  and because of that, in their attempt to show us that they care, they don't realize that what they're doing is not helping us anymore.
 
i grew up in a super-over-protective family.  i even lost some friends because of my mother's overprotectiveness.  she also had big issues against my hubby when we were still bf/gf which resulted to resentments.  for the past 7 years of our marriage, mama and hubby were not in speaking terms.
 
what i did?  i have tried my best to prove to my mama that i have made a good decision in life.  and i never failed to explain to her about things that are going on with me and my family.  my mama knew i'm a wide reader, and i'm not just learning things from her but from other resources also.  i told her that she have done her part in molding me to be who i am today, so now she should give me the freedom to live life the way she taught me.
 
 
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