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Author Topic: Confronting the 3rd party  (Read 32968 times)

Shey♥Bry

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #75 on: October 22, 2011, 11:24:08 am »

^ haha.. Right sis. Sometimes may insecurity kasi tayo nanhindi natin maiwasan na hindi maramdaman. :)

Yup meron paring mga Insecurities talaga.. Pero alam natin na tayo din ang makakagamot sa pagiging insecure natin hehe.

Naniniwala kasi ako na kapag healthy ang relationship niyo, kahit sinong lumandi sa asawa mo eh hinding hindi bibigay iyan.. Mas mananaig pa din sa isip niya na meron siyang pamilya at masaya siya  sa family niya :) Naiisip ko kasi yung mga hubby na nambababae (no offense po) eh malamang merong silang pagkukulang sa isa't isa..



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-joanamber-

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #76 on: October 22, 2011, 02:41:42 pm »

Oo nga sis. Tiwala lang talaga sa isa't isa ang key para maging healthy ang relationship.
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Shey♥Bry

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #77 on: October 22, 2011, 06:59:16 pm »

^ Yup, kaya masarap ang pagsasama pag may tiwala, pagmamahal, pagmamalasakit at higit sa lahat  dyan natin napapatunayan na responsable tayong tao..  ;)
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annamariemomof3

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #78 on: October 25, 2011, 11:29:15 am »

once may nakita ako text from his officemate na girl na hindi ko nagustuhan eh since may history na si hubby ng cheating i asked him to call the girl so i can talk to her. we talked over the phone and i just asked her questions directly na lang. since she denied that anything is going on dun na lang natapos yun. pero kung siguro nahuli ko talaga si hubby or umamin yung girl ng harapan sa akin, that's a different story. siguro kung di niya alam na may asawa i'll just let her know and tell her to stay away pero kung alam naman niya at pumatol pa rin ano bang composure pa! talaga sigurong kakalbuhin ko yun kasi di ko mapapatawad sarili ko kung di man lang ako makaganti kahit konti, pagkatapos sa kanya na asawa ko, good riddance to bad rubbish!
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sheys_sheys

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #79 on: October 27, 2011, 07:48:25 pm »

papaganda ako ng todo,papakita ko sa kanya kung sino kinakalaban at hinahamon niya.....
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fegloria1954

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #80 on: October 27, 2011, 09:55:46 pm »

Many years ago, I became such a shrew, that the shrew in the Shakespeare play "The Taming of the Shrew" would bow to me.

By then, my misery was making me so angry that I did not even bat an eyelash over picking a fight with my husband, and he would react by giving me the silent treatment or quarreling with me measure for measure.  There was one time that we were quarreling loudly in our room over yet another one-night stand, and our children who were by then adults barged into our room, to mediate.  Our children prevailed on their father that it was time for him to apologize for all the abuses he had committed (I won't spell them out here anymore, feel free to click my username and review my earlier posts since last year).  He said, "Sorry, sige, sorry.  Is that what you all want to hear from me?"  Our son replied, "Dad, sorry is not good enough."  Our daughter said, "There has been too much pain in this family.  You need to do more than that."

I pronounced a verdict.  I insisted that he and I go see the kabit.  To tell her that he had finally acknowledged the secret that they had so effectively fooled me about.  My husband did not have any choice but to agree.  After hearing him agree, I asked our children to leave our room. 

I extracted information from their daddy, like I were an interrogator.  He answered everything, in anger, but still he answered, and gave me the information I asked for.  Motels, cities, what they did, what gifts he gave her (he never bothered to give me any, up to that time that I was interrogating him.)  Then as I insisted that he also tell what sex acts they performed, he also answered this, in a low, soft voice, like he was losing his strength.  As he talked on and on, I started to wail, and then I cried, the whole night, my pillow was so drenched.  He embraced me, that whole night.  He fell asleep. I did not.

To put things into perspective, by the time that scene of my interrogating my husband unfolded, she was no longer the kabit, as their relationship lasted "only" 5 years in the early 1980s, and by the 2000s she was already married, had children (I don't know how many) and was the dean of a university. 

We traveled to the university, and was led to her office - the dean's office.  My husband told her that he had finally acknowledged to me the fact that he and she had an affair way back when they were office mates, that it lasted 5 years, and that he even told me which motels and restaurants they frequented when they were having the illicit relationship.  He added that it was his intention to ask for my forgiveness, and he suggested that it maybe best for her, the kabit, to also acknowledge everything and ask for my forgiveness as well.  To give closure to everything.

I just sat there, at the visitor chair in front of her office table, listening to what my husband was telling his former kabit.  The kabit sat there in her office table, expressionless.  Then she spoke.  She denied that they ever had any affair.

Before we left our home to make the 2+ hours travel to where she was, I had already planned what I would do.  I would pull her hair.  I would push her down on the floor.  I would pummel her with blows.  I would kick her.  While calling her the worst of names, etc. etc.  I had it all planned.

But when I heard her deny that she ever had any affair with my husband, and that it was not true that she ever went with him into any motel, I stood up and said,
"Let us go home, sweetheart.  Let us not waste any more time talking with this corrupt person hiding within the hallowed walls of this university operated by the religious.  This liar must think that no one will ever know of the skeletons in her closet.  I do not wish her well at all.  What I do wish is that her husband do to her what you and she did to me.  And if she has any daughters, I pour on them the blood of the baby I lost when I learned that it was indeed true that you were having an affair with her.  To think that she seats in such a hallowed chair, receiving the respect and adulation of her students.  Little do they know that she used her body to try to grab you away from me.  Let us go.  Nandidiri ako being in the same room as this puta.  Imagine that, itinatuwa ka pa.  This snippet of a dress with a pair of legs she spread so often for you."
I spoke in a voice such that her staff outside her office, heard everything I said.  I did not shout.  I did not grab her.

Why?  Because I decided that I would show my husband that I had always been the better woman than the kabit na pinatulan ng asawa ko and ipinagpalit sa akin.

Did my husband seek forgiveness from me that time, like he stated he planned to do?  No. 

Did I again have the desire to punish his kabit even as I did not do anything when we were face to face.  Yes I did.  A couple of years later, tinoyo ako, and I sent out an email to her - copy furnish all university officers and deans and student leaders, also copy to her husband who also taught in the same university - reminding her of our visit to her office, of what my husband said, and how she denied everything.  I enumerated the information on the motels and restaurants, including the acts she and my husband performed in those motels.  I again mentioned the baby I lost, due to severe stress, when I learned that it was indeed true that she and my husband were having an affair.  I closed my email by saying that she made the worst mistake in denying that the affair ever happened, because then it made me decide to tell everyone in her university about the kind of person she was.  A couple of months after I sent that email, on checking the university website, I found that she was no longer the Dean.  The university website also no longer listed individual email address of university personnel.  I was full of glee.  I considered it sweet revenge.  I told my husband of what I had done, and what I observed (she was no longer the Dean) happen.  His response was to just say, "I guess those that do things that cause pain and hurt, and result to the death of a baby, must really pay for their grievous sins."  I replied with a "Yes, they indeed eventually pay, no matter how many years have passed."

Several years later, I found the Program that my husband and I eventually underwent.

Mommy Fe

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fegloria1954

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Re: What will you do if you are going to meet your husband's "other woman"?
« Reply #81 on: October 30, 2011, 05:14:17 pm »

This is a continuation of my previous post.

Where am I now?  One thing I have had to do years back, was to undergo the process of forgiveness with my husband for the things I did (described in my previous post).  I also had to forgive myself.  Ironic, you might think, considering that I was the "victim" of the innumerably hurting deeds.  However, going through the process of forgiveness, has allowed my husband and I to turn a new leaf, and discover a deeper sense of love and a desire to work at making our marriage work.

I am sure you are curious how those information I extracted from my husband - about what he and his kabit did, went to, etc. - affected me.  IT MADE MY WORLD SHRINK.  I hated going to many places because I knew they had been there.  I hated eating at many restaurants because I was aware they had eaten there.  In the middle of love-making, I would suddenly stop and just get up, and not want to follow through anymore, just because it would enter my mind that my husband told me he did THAT to his kabit.  One thing I regret about all this:  I should not have asked for those information.  It should have sufficed for me to be aware that of course they spent time together and this has hurt me grievously.  But like many countless women before me I am sure, I had wanted the details - and insisted on getting them.  Would I agree with you were you to say you want to know the details about what your husband his kabit did etc.?  No I would not.  Would I tell you not to go and ask for those details?  No I would not either.  I would just tell you that when it was happening to me and I asked for those details and I got them, it ruined my world further, and it stoked my anger towards the kabit further.

Take care and God bless,
Mommy Fe
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Mommy Jazz

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shey25

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@fegloria1954


You show that "other woman" what she deserve.., she is such a hypocrite to deny such affair! How about your husband? What did you do to him?

So thankful that my husband is faithful to me, but if the time comes na gawin niya yung pambabae. I will leave him behind with my kid with me. No question ask. We already discuss this matter and I told him that. Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband but I believe that trust is one of the major foundation of marriage. Pag nawala un things will never be the same again sa pagsasama nyo.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2012, 05:56:40 pm by Mommyjazz »
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BlueAby

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For me baka maupakan or masabunutan ko yung girl. hehe. Depende kung nag-init na talaga yung dugo ko, my boady will automatically move na lang  ;D

Happy naman ako at di ganun si Mister, although may times dati na tinago niya sa akin na ibang girl ang kasama niya and not his bestfriend, which is tinatandaan ko parin till now.. hahaha.  Pero yun sinabi ko kay Mister na, once malaman or mahuli ko na may iba siya, iiwanan ko na siya kasama mga anak niya. And sabi ko din na wag niya isipin na malaking kawalan sya for me, dahil kumpleto na ko with my kids. (Medyo ouchy yung words for him, pero need ko talaga ipaalam sa kanya ang consequence, mabuti na yun para mapipigilan talaga siya na gumawa ng mali)

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kiko18

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i did. hindi siya makapagsalita. natatakot maiskandalo. kinamusta ko lang sabi ko "musta naman kayo ng asawa ko? musta pagiging kabit?" edukadong tao ako so i won't stoop to that level na mag iiskandalo na sa utak ko gusto ko ibato sa kanya yung buong stall. ayun bigla akong kinausap ni ex hub na mag usap daw kami. * nagkita pala kami sa isang mall kasama si ex hub kasama officemates niya* Sabi ko ex hub ...NO NEED. GO TO HELL!  ;)
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tharti_moan

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Hi Mommies,

I hope you don't mind me joining this thread, as someone who's currently the other woman. =(

I'm also once a wife but my marriage didn't work out, same as with my current partner now who's unfortunately married with my friend.

I really want to leave the relationship as I know that even though we truly love each other, the fact remains that he's married and they have a son.  Unfortunately, I was impregnated 5 months ago that's why I'm still stuck in the situation, and still continuing this so called too much love for my SD.  I'm honestly waiting for the time that my love just fades away as it's the only reason why I'm still staying.  I have no more acceptable reasons to stay, and I accept the fact that other woman is always on the losing end.

This might be ironic, but a piece of advice in meeting an other woman like me, here's how from my personal note:

1. Be at your best in meeting us.  Slam to our faces that you have all the rights being the wife which we envy most.  With that, great insecurities and bitterness will kill us and hopefully our objective mind will awake us to our fantasy that someday, we'll take your place.

2. You don't have to beg us.  Dignified wife shouldn't do that, only desperate mistresses like me.  Show to us that you're strong and you're determined to fight for your husband in any dignified way.  With that, our self-esteem will be rattled knowing that whatever desperate move we do, you'll there until the end.

3. Lastly, please pray for our soul.  Most mistresses, I assumed, don't want to be in this kind of immoral situation.  It just so happened that due to our natural weakness as a woman who's vulnerable to love and to be loved in return, we ended up loving even a married man.  I'm not saying this to justify what we're doing.  It's just that... we loved a wrong guy.  You should know that we hate ourselves for doing that.  And if we can do anything just to get out of the situtaion, we will.  So please pray for our soul, as we're also praying to our Father that our stupid love just fade away...

My highest respect and sympathy to all legal wives here.  My apologies for being an other woman.  It's a disgrace in womanhood. 
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Mommy France

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Bet na bet ko yung sagot ni sis mariann. There's no need to see the other woman.
Kapag ginawa to ng asawa ko saken, siya ang kakastiguhin ko hindi yung babae. :)
In the end, gagawin pa rin naman ng babae yung gusto niyang gawin kahit anong pakiusap mo sa kanya.
kahit takutin mo siya, even if you make her feel insecure, she will do what she wants.
Kahit nga yung hubby na ang magpalayo, hindi pa rin aalis yan.

I will show my husband the consequences his actions.  I will show him that I am better and I handle things with grace.
I won't wish them well. I will wish myself well and I will pray for my own and my child's welfare.

If they find happiness in the end, then good for them. But it will be least of my concern because I will be enjoying my life more. Plus alam kong sa langit ang punta ko.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

kiko18

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i did.
when i confirmed na sila talaga.
1st time -  muntikan ko ng basagin un car window niya.
2nd time - binugahan ko siya ng yosi ko. infront of her subordinates i ask him kung kamusta naman ang pagiging kabit niya ng asawa ko
3rd - ....wala pa.. baka maibato ko na sa kanya yung ex hub ko  >:( >:( >:(
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jvcav08

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ive been to this situation..but sa email ko nahuli..got all the evidence..and contact infos..but still di ko mineet yung girl..reason? i dont want na bumaba yung level ko sa level niya..legal wife will always be the legal wife..all the benefits will go to me..so why bother to waste my efforts to confront her? while alam kong nagpaawa effect lang mr. ko..eto naman babaeng tan** kumapit kasi hinahabol pera..so why bother if i know in the end silang dalawa ang mukang tan**..:)
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life isnt perfect...u can make it less complicated if you just let some simple imperfections go....
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