^ I agree, sis mommy e. If you push your child to socialize and be friendly just like other kids, the result might be the opposite; the child might hide more in his or her shell.
My 4 year old daughter is very talkative and fun to be with when at home. Ilabas mo yan at di agad magsasalita. Isali mo sa birthday party, nasa isang tabi lang. I tried to push her to join, but she won't budge. If I tried to push her more, she'd cry. Laging ganito when it involves being with a large group of people.
Ganito rin yung nangyari last summer when I enrolled her at a ballet school. As expected, the first day was terrible. She wasn't cooperating, she moved around, she fidgeted, and eventually she cried when the teacher asked her to get back to her place. I asked her what the problem was when we got home. She said she felt shy. I told her that it's okay to feel shy and that when she got to know the teacher and the other kids, she'd feel happy there. I asked her to give the school another try. On the next meeting, I brought her to school 30 minutes earlier. The teacher and one of the students were early too. Dito sila nagkaroon ng bonding. My daughter warmed up to her teacher, she helped her arrange the name tags and place the stickers on the floor. She bonded with the other kid, too. When the lesson started, she followed her teacher, she didn't fidget and didn't make a scene. Dito ko napagtanto na kailangan lang niya mag-warm up when she's in a public place.
Simula nun, lagi ko na syang dinadala sa kahit anong events nang maaga, especially if it'll be her first time to be at that place and she'll have a fewer or none familiar face to meet there. And it is working.
But still, I don't expect her to be that cooperative all the time. Lalo na kapag may mga performance na. My daughter is a bit OC and a perfectionist too. Kapag di niya alam or perfected (based on her standards) ang isang activity, you can't make her do it kahit magmakaawa ka pa. I realized that it is part of her personality and I have to accept it and help her overcome her shyness and perfectionism in a gradual manner. Kasi pareho lang kami mafu-frustrate. Which is why when the ballet school invited us for a summer ballet recital, I refused. Sabi ko next time na lang when she's at least a year doing ballet. At least she's comfortable performing by then. Until now, she's doing ballet and she's still enjoying it.
To sis Mayums, it helped me a lot reading about sensitivities in children, including overexcitabilities. Kasi may mga bata pala that get overwhelmed with certain sounds or noise and large group of people. Masyado silang mag-absorb ng outside stimuli whether it be visual or auditory. It helped me realize too that my child is an individual, has her own personal preferences which I should respect. Eventually, as many moms here attest, she'll grow into a more sociable child in time with our help, proper guidance and understanding.
