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Author Topic: parang people are looking down on me because i am a stay at home mom  (Read 17642 times)

annamariemomof3

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Basahin sa Smart Parenting:
'Deadma Is Key': Paano Maging Mas Confident Na Nanay, Ayon Sa Isang Stay-At-Home Mom
Click HERE.


i was raised by yayas and had a hard time with emotional connection when i was growing up. even now i don' feel connected to my mom. so i vowed to myself that i will not let that happen to me and my kids. pero lately i've been feeling down kasi i feel pressured to work, parang people are looking down on me because i am a stay at home mom, what hurts the most eh yung mom ko pa madalas mag pressure sa akin, she keeps comparing me to my former classmates na kesyo doctor na daw o kaya napadala na parents sa abroad. di naman mayaman si hubby kaya we're just making ends meet pero di ba mas important ang kids more than any material thing? i feel so unappreciated and disrespected. :'(

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« Last Edit: March 09, 2020, 01:40:10 pm by Parentchat Admin »
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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2011, 09:06:08 pm »

Awww.. Don't worry sis. Kaya mo yan, isipin mo na lang mas mahalaga mga anak mo kesa sa anupaman.
I am also a SAHM, panganay and working before i got pregnant. Honestly, hinahanap ko ang pagwork dahil nasanay na may kinikita ako at hindi humihingi kay hubby. Mahirap para sa akin, parang pride na din na humingi ng panggastos ko kay hubby.
Pero di ko kaya iwan baby ko para magwork, what i did, nag isip na lang ako ng business na pwede ko i-manage para may kinikita pa din ako kahit nasa bahay. :) supportive naman si hubby na magbusiness na lang. Dahil sa totoo lang parang ayoko na magwork, gusto ko kasama na si baby palagi. :)
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rianne_mallows

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2011, 09:34:46 pm »

i know what you mean.. kapag sinabi mo na sahmka.. "ah ok" parang ganun lang :P

huwag mo na lang pansinin.. maganda nga sinabi mo totoo kung bakit SAHM ka ngayon.. para matauhan mother mo
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mamacharis

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2011, 09:37:33 pm »

sa totoo lang hindi matutumbasan ng kahit na anong laki ng pera o kayaman man ang makita mo o ma witness yung milestone ni baby. iba yung feeling nun plus for me parang nakakaproud sa sarili na nag raise ka ng isang tao lalo na kapag lumaki siyang isang mabuting tao.

since mommy mo naman ang nagsasalita syo pasok sa kabila labas sa kabilang tenga na lang ang gawin mo sis. importante mai-raise mo ang anak mo sa paraan na gusto mo at alam naman natin na mabuting paraan yan.

tama ka para sa ating mga ina at importante ang mga anak kesa sa ano mang bagay. wag mo masyado intindihin sinasabi ng mommy mo sis baka nagsesentimiento lang yun kasi may pangarap siya sayo which is pwede pa naman dahil hindi pa huli ang lahat.
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babyblair

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2011, 11:30:08 pm »

sis, wag mo na lang pansinin mom mo sa mga sinasabi niya. she doesnt know how it is like to be a SAHM kaya nonsense.

don't make a big deal out of it. ma-stress ka lang. never kikitain ng working mom ang mga milestones ng baby na you get to see first hand.

mothers who have been/ are in your shoes are all proud of you! :)
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momi95

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2011, 02:32:11 am »

sis, sahm din ako since i gave birth sa eldest ko na 16years old na ngayon. me mga panahon talaga na me magco-comment sa status natin. pero, looking at my daughters, at pag iniisip ko na nasa tabi nila ako at nabantayan ko ang paglaki nila is priceless. kahit anong degree na natapos natin, it's something na mas precious kesa sa diploma...
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alymme

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2011, 09:43:05 pm »

Hi, nakaka relate ako sa concern mo, just resigned from my 15yrs of working in just 1 company (this is my first job) that's why it's really hard to decide. I received mixed reactions on this decision, and right now I feel pressured also. Since i resigned last Aug, my problematic son (in school only) became worse than before. But i still don't give up, sabi nga I only have two ways on how to deal with it. It's either breakdown or breakthrough. Isipin mo na lang, ang pagsubok was given to you to make you grow. Don't forget to pray always for guidance.. kaya mo yan.. Tama sila mas importante ang family natin kesa sa material things. Talagang ganyan realizations will come later.

Mom Mye
http://newfulltimemomjournal.blogspot.com/2011/10/high-expectations-can-lead-to.html
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unknown

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2011, 12:14:32 am »

Iniisip ko nga rin yang mga criticisms na ganyan.  I just gave my resignation last week dahil nga i'm not happy my work anymore and i tend to be a sahm napagusapan na rin namin ni hubby na need ko na rin talaga mag sahm muna kasi maselan talaga yong anak namin he was confined last friday actually pangalawang beses na to na na hospitalized kaya we really talked about it decided na i should quit my work kasi wala nga talagang makakatutok sa anak namin since abroad rin siya.  Huwag mo na isipin yong mother mo sis ang impt hindi ka naman sa kaniya kumuha na kinakain niyo sa araw araw at nasu-sustain naman ng partner mo ang pangagailangan niyo sapat na yon.  Contentment yan ang keyword diyan at kung happy ka to be sahm.
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Lelen

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2011, 12:32:38 pm »

Being a SAHM makes me really proud! A lot of my friends & former classmates say na I'm lucky kase di ko na kelangang mag work which I totally agree! Don't get me wrong, hindi kami mayaman! Hindi namin kayang basta makisunod sa uso o bumili ng mga latest na gadgets na gusto namin. Kelangang mag-budget pa din kami, kelangang mag-plano muna if we want to go out of town. Kaso kase I believe na depende yun sa priorities. And our main priority is our son. I cannot picture myself doing anything or being anywhere na di kasali o malayo sa anak ko. And for that I ALWAYS thank my hubby for making me a SAHM  ;D
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sheizzhynazh

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2011, 12:48:08 pm »

Hi mga sis.
Ako naman still cannot decide SAHM or working mom parin.
True iba ang pakiramdam pag iakw kasama ng mga babies mo, bukod sa walang sisihan kung ano man mangyari sa kanila, relax ka pag iakw kasama nila. Actually mas gusto ko nga pag walang pasok, sama ko nga kay medyo mababa sales ng company namin now kaya cost cutting sa lahat pati days of work. Habang nag-eemote mga tao na bakit walang pasok ako naman deep in inside nagbubunyi kasi masmahaba time ko sa mga kiddos ko.
Problem kasi namin walang magbabantay sa mga bata, my daughter is 3yrs old & son is only 1yr old. Nakailang palit narin kasi kami ng yaya, pero now meron nanaman. Sabi ko sa sarili ko pag umalis pa ulit itong ngayon baka sign na talaga na mag stop na ako sa work ko. Going to 11yrs na ako sa company, di rin ako masyadong happy sa salary ko but still nagtityaga ako kasi parang nasanay nalang din ata ako. Kasi iniisip ko wala naman akong ginagastos sa bahay o tungkuling bayarin puro si hubby ang bayad sa bills even sa food, binibigyan niya rin ako ng pera. Akin lang yung sweldo ko na di naman kalakihan, actually niloloko nga ako ni hubby kung may sinusweldo daw ba ako? kasi parang wala din naman talaga. But still di parin ako makapagdecide kung stop na ako o tuloy parin. Pero gusto ko din ako alaga sa mga anak ko. Kasi iba din talaga care na mabibigay sa kanila. After work ko dakilang nanay naman ako sa kanila, kaya wala na rin talaga akong extra time for myself, sila naman din kasi talaga buhay ko. Work ko parang to unwind nalang siguro sarili ko, para ibang environtment naman.
Psencya na kayo, nashare ko lang ang sitwasyon ko now. Gusto ko personally take care of my kids, pero parang gusto ko din work para din naman sa mga kids ko, para mag may gusto akong bilin for them diko na need pang humingi sa hubby ko.
I hope naintindihan nyo story ko  ;)
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riddermark

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2011, 02:14:01 pm »

ako naman matagal ko nang sinasabi mag SAHM na lang ako pero di ko magawa. even right now na i think i should be there for my eldest kasi special sya and he's just starting to learn pa lang. ang main prob namin is budget at makakasama. i have 2 sons (1yr ang pagitan). di namin kakayanin ang therapies kung hindi ako makakatulong mag earn. plus yung kakarampot na benefits nakukuha ko from the cmpany (14th and HMO). actually hindi naman promising ang career ko. habol ko lang is benefits na malaki ang naitutulong sa akin.

if i stay at home i also need a helper kasi 2 babies e. but now's the time that i really feel i need to be there for my sons. though ok na ok ang yayas namin pero matagal na rin sila gusto magpahinga. i cant do it alone. hirap pa naman maghanap ng mapapagkatiwalaan.

matagal ko na itong dilemma na hindi ko pa rin mapagdesisyonan.
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God created little boys for He knew that there should be lots of love and happiness added to a family.

sheizzhynazh

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Re: being a stay at home mom
« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2011, 04:23:14 pm »

sis riddermark, ganun din ako benefits lang habol ko sa company. sa salary kasi di naman kawalan. Kaya naman ni hubby ang expenses, pero sabi ko nga as of now, kasi habang lumalaki mga bata lalong lumalaki gastos.

Kala ko nga magreresign na talaga ako, kasi 1time di bumalik yung yaya, kasi every sun off niya, kaya din wala akong pahinga, sat halfday sa office pero pagdating ko aalis naman si yaya balik niya sunday usually pa sun na siya balik kaya todo pagod pero fulfilling naman pag kasama mga kiddos. Sinet ko na sa isip ko na bukas magpafile na ako kasama baby ko kasi walang magbabantay tapos early morning dumating kaya sabi ko go parin sa work, pero once na umalis siya sign na siguro yun.

Sana nga pwede magleave ng 1-2 months tapos work ulit...
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annamariemomof3

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Re: parang people are looking down on me because i am a stay at home mom
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2011, 02:28:55 pm »

there are times lang talaga that i feel down and unappreciated. siyempre when you're a SAHM la ka naman suweldo, it's a 24/7 job, madalang makaalala mag thank you, when you're doing your job right (disciplining them) minsan ikaw pa masama, wala kang karapatang magkasakit, you won't really know if you're doing a great job until they are grown ups na. pero isa lang naman ang iniisip ko whenever i feel down i remember that time when i was still working at a hospital and my son was sick, i stayed with him to take care of him but still he cried out for his yaya, that broke my heart into a million pieces. so now i guess i just have to learn to tune them out, care ko ba sa mga sinasabi nila, bakit kaya ba nila to take care of a 7 y/o, tutor him, take care of 1 y/o twins, do the housechores, and still manage to have some me time. being a SAHM is not for everyone, a lot are not cut out for it, it's the hardest job in the world.
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lykeil

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Re: parang people are looking down on me because i am a stay at home mom
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2011, 06:02:14 pm »

When I was working on my 20's I say to myself, if I have a family of my own, I will take care of my kids even I became a-stay-home-mom and now, nagawa ko nga and I am so glad on what I accomplish of taking care of my 3 kids alone without even a househelp. My point is.. it is our own choice. You see how a child would be so unhappy kung iiwan lang talaga sa yaya. People would compare my kids with theirs kasi although they buy all the expensive material things for their kids yet it felt so incomplete. Tapos I am happy and contented kasi nga alam ko kung ano needs ng mga anak ko and with simple toys they appreciate it much. Tapos pagtinuruan ko mga anak ko.. I teach them well meaning with all our hearts and knowledge unlike sa yaya lang.. limited lang ang ituturo sa mga bata. (sana you get what I mean) Anyways, even my in-laws were amaze nga on my kids development kasi yung isang pamangkin ni hubby e di pa rin marunong kumain mag isa at age 2 eh, yung bunso ko na nasa 1.5 years old can use fork and spoon very well.

OO, financially kinakapos.. oo, di natin mabili masyado mamahaling gamit or laruan or damit for our kids kung di tayo nagwo work but the true love and closeness mo with your kids.. di nga matutumbasan ang joy and fullfillment na mararamdaman mo.

So, if you are still young and haven't work to the fullest.. you can still make some extra income pa rin naman para kahit paano may pera ka nang sarili kung minsan may papabili mga anak mo sayo.. di ka naman malulungkot na wala kang contribution financially. And your mom would be proud of you kasi napagsasabay mo ang pag aalaga ng mga anak mo tapos may sarili ka pang income on your own effort. 

So be happy and give yourself a hug! Even now people would comment to you these and that.. but someday you will benefit for all of your own hardwork and hindi talaga mababalik ang panahon kaya sulitin mo na with your kids and hubby.  : )

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rianne_mallows

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Re: parang people are looking down on me because i am a stay at home mom
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2011, 07:25:09 pm »

just finished reading "secrets of a fascinating womanhood"

it says there that a woman's God-given role is to nurture.. and for the man, to provide ..

ive been  a SAHM since i married..  im really happy with our decision for me to stay at home and take care of our baby.. although there are times that i feel guilty because im not able to help hubby with the finances.. he assures me that he's happy providing for baby and me

but after reading the book, i came to understand my hubby's POV.. as in exact match hubby ko ng examples sa book..
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hindi naman ako masamang tao...
sadyang kapag nagsasabi ako ng totoo..
tinatamaan at tumatagos sa pagkatao mo
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