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Author Topic: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?  (Read 183596 times)

ysa

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2008, 06:51:31 am »

ako din problem ko yung 2 yr old kid ko, before naman mabait sya pero nung mga age nearing 2 na , i started to throw his tantrums everytime hindi niya nakukuha yng gsto nyo, but not to the point na mananakit sya ng tao. iiyak lang, magngangawa, minsan obvious na nanandya kasi wala naman luha at tlagang nilalakas niya... napapalo ko sya kasi minsan sobrang pagod ako from work, tpos ayun, napapalo ko sya. my mom told me not to spank my kid daw, kasi lalong nagiging sutil, kausapin ko lang daw. for me, parang kasi minsan need din nila mapalo, to let them know na sobrang mali yun. although gingawa ko , kinakausap ko muna, kapag naubos na yug patience ko, tska ko sya napapalo.
mommy ko to the rescue kaagad especially kapg umiiyak ako i let him cry.
sometimes alam niya kung nagagalit nako... kasi kunwari sabihin ko sa kanya na it's bad, or hala galit na si ganito, kung ano ginagawa niya napapstop sya, at nakastedy. kumbaga parang nastroke..
just last night, ginagaya niya kuya niya na sinisira yung calendar, so pinagsabihan ko sya na mali yun, at galit na si lola, ayun nka face to the wall lang sya at nakayuko, tumigil kung ano man ginagawa niya.

regarding naman pananakit, mahilig sya mag boxing kasi nakakanood ng pacquiao... ayun minsan lola ko binoboxing niya, ok lang sa lola ko... at told my lola, to tell my son na its not good... na bad yun at nasasaktan sya... pero wala lang ok lang daw yun, naglalro ang bata.. kako para malaman niya na nakakasakit na sya, tuloy alam niya nakaka enjoy yung gawa niya... nagkakaroon tuloy kami ng conflict sa pagdiscipline ng bata.
lam mo na spoiler sila... so lahat ok lang...
tuloy ako rin yung monster sa harap ng anak ko. mahirap naman na pagsabihan yung lola ko kasi she's old na at matampuhin pa...
ayaw nun na pinapalo or sinisgawan yung anak ko...
haaayyy
sensya na guys,kasi i need to blurt dis out... dahil issue sa amin yung pagdidiscipline sa anak ko... lagi nalang kami nagtatalo...tuloy konting taas lang ng boses ko, galit, ddaan na sa iyak ng anak ko to catch my mom and lola's attention.
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youngmom

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2008, 09:48:48 am »

mahirap talaga i -discipline ang bata kung may conflict betwen you and your mom or lola.kung papaluin mo kiddo mo,do it in private,mag lock kayo sa kwarto so when he starts throwing fits or crying,wala mag rerescue hehe.also explain mo sa lola mo in a nice way na ngiging sutil na yung bata at kailangan na ma disiplina at ikaw ang ina kaya ikaw ang may responsibilidad gawin yon.


i really find SP january to february 2008 issue very informative kc it explains there when and how incentives and punishments work.for example,time outs para lang pala sa mga bata na nagwawala or having tantrums para mag cool down sila or maging kalmado.post ko nalang later at si macky nagwawala na gusto makipaglaro.hehe
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eve

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2008, 11:56:27 am »

natutunan ko sa oprah yung 'naughty chair'. around 2 yung kid ko nun, kulit at hirap nga i-discipline. one time he misbehaved, i got him a chair, inupo ko sya dun for two minutes. iyak sya ng iyak, though hawak ko sya at nakayakap sya sakin, di ko sya inalis dun. then afterwards i told him why i made him sit sa 'naughty chair'. since then, pag makulit at nag misbehave, i tell him lang na iuupo ko sya sa 'naughty chair' niya, titigil na yun. so far that was the 1st and the last time na naupo sya dun. he's turning 5 na this sept. it can be a naughty corner or a mat, basta kung ilang taon sya, say 3 yrs old, 3 mins din yung time niya sa naughty chair or mat niya.

thanks mami leda.  my daughter is 3.6 yrs old na and sometimes she also misbehaves.  what i do when she's being naughty is i keep quiet muna,then when she notice na quiet na ako, she also mellows down.  pansin k kasi pag nagalit ka sa abata, the more na nagagalit din sila, so para ding sa adults di ba, pag galit ang isa, dapat cool muna the rest.  and it also helps to take note when do our kids get naughty, me consistency kasi, like pag pagod sila o gutom o bored.  pinakamalimit silang maging naughty pag bored sila. so it helps na me age-appropriate activities sila.  since my daughter (yancy) loves to write, ayun, meron syang "mini school bag", hindi pa nmaman sya nag school e, pero meron syang scratch papers, pencil, non-toxic crayons at kung anong anik anik ba.

btw, okey din ito kasi pag nag wowork ako sa bahay sa computer, meron din syang "mini office". like nanay, like daughter daw kami hehe.
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momi rmi

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2008, 12:05:18 pm »

i agree with mom eve, sometimes i also do the same hindi ko siya pinapansin pagnagtatantrums siya then eventually titigil na din kakaiyak... or another thing i do is pagmay gusto siya and hindi puwede i distract him with other things so mawawala un focus niya sa gus2 niya and most of the time this is effective... ;)
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eve

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2008, 12:22:36 pm »

hi mamy rimi...distraction is really our operative word, hehe. yancy seldom misbehaves naman, concern ko lang pag nasa church kami, ay sus! bulong ng bulong, kelan daw ba matatapos. di naman siya malikot pero every so often ask niya kung tapos na daw ba yung pari hahaha.

pero mga momies, let's face it, tantrums, misbehaving and all are part and parcel of our growing angels.  talagang nate test yung patience natin.  pero one thing na i'd like to share: never, ever raise your voice pag galit ka.  mas cool ka pero firm, mas madali mong maca-capture yung attention ng bata. sa akin, di me masyado namamalo kasi tendency is pag nagalit sya sa kalaro niya mamamalo na din siya. tama din yung isang momy (sorry mommy, forgot your name) na avoid exposure to toys na nag iinduce ng violent tendencies gaya ng xylophone at mga toy drums.

i recall, me yoga for kids article before either and GH o ang SP.  any idea how to do yoga for kids?  thanks mommies
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maphine

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2008, 01:24:14 pm »

Hirap talaga akong mgdiscipline lalo na kung involve lolo and lola.Kasi ako galit na ko pagnamamalo anak ko sa akin.I tried following your advises mommies na paluin ko din ng mas malakas sa knyang palo para he would know who's the boss,pero parang ginagaya niya lang ako.What happened kasi kung galit ako na namamalo sya ay tinatawanan naman sya ng lolo at lola niya dahil bata pa raw ay marunong ng mgalit ng masyado....Di ko naman masabihan in-laws ko kasi baka naman mgtampo.

momi rmi

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2008, 01:29:54 pm »

eh maphine, hindi talaga dapat ikaw ang magsabi sa in-laws mo, sabihin mo kay hubby na sabihan sila and u have to explain to him why and kung anong effect nun sa bata para alam din niya kung anong i-explain niya sa parents niya... ;)
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eve

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2008, 01:31:47 pm »

hi mommy maphine.  for a couple of days my daughter and i stayed sa inlaws ko, syempre iba ibang kultura tayo ng pinanggalingan from that of our hubbies, di ba?  baligtad tayo, kasi sa in-laws ko, belt agad sila doon sa isa nilang apo (boy), me pinapakita ko talaga (without any comments ha?) na talk muna and cool down muna kami ni yancy pag medyo misbehaving na baby ko. pero di naman sobrang haba ng talk kasi 3 years old pa lang anak ko hehe.  ngayon sa nanay ko na stay baby ko while i am at work at thank God, my mom belongs to the old school as in medyo strict sya, me timetable talaga anak ko together with her two young cousins.  i think it helps pag me sched ang mga bata.
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maphine

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #23 on: May 20, 2008, 02:05:47 pm »

Mommy rmi big problem yan kasi medyo moms boy kasi husband ko...It won't be easy for him to talk it over sa parents niya pero I already tried talking to him na dapat ganito ganyan...Thanks!  ;)

Thanks mommy eve,I think I'll do your technique na lang.I'll show my in laws of how I discipline my kid para malamn din nila anong gusto kong mangyari... ;)

eve

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #24 on: May 20, 2008, 04:43:39 pm »

good luck mommy maphine...it's really a sensitive issue kasi syempre anak natin, meron tayong mga style na iba sa style ng iba, pero di rin natin madiscount na me concern din mga inlaws at mga parents natin sa sarili nating mga anak. it'll also help na medyo i-nudge mo si husband in being the one to stress na "ito yung style namin ni maphine etc." sa parents niya without being too obvious about the whole thing.

don't worry, lahat ng situation me magandang result di ba? just keep on smiling and stay beautiful.
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gailey

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #25 on: May 20, 2008, 09:03:47 pm »

i read naman na if wala na talaga choice kundi ang paluin ang kids eh not to use our hands kasi diba hands is associated to caring so ang nangyayari na confuse yung bata kailangan meron ka spanking rod or thing.

yung cousin ko ginagawa niya sa toddler niya meron time out chair and depende nga sa age kung ilang minutes pero kung 3x na ginawa yung offense yung spanking rod (parang palo-palo na ginagamit sa paglaba) nilalagay niya yun between him and my pamangkin may parang guidelines ata yun sa spanking rod di ko lang alam san niya nabili yun.
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maphine

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #26 on: May 20, 2008, 09:12:13 pm »

I think nga siguro mas maganda kung may something akong gagamitin para mas maakot.Kasi pag ako lang pumapalo sa kanya,he just do the same thing.Parang minimimic lang ba ako..

leda

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #27 on: May 22, 2008, 01:28:23 am »

if you really feel its necessary to spank your kid, avoid using your hands...before ko na implement yung 'naughty chair' sa kid ko, i rolled a used folder na pinampapalo ko sa palms niya when he does something wrong. kids learn easily naman e...the mere sight of you holding that rolled folder or whatever you choose na pamalo sakanya matatakot at mag refrain na yun from misbehaving. warn your kid first or ask him to stop, when he or she ignores your warning, get your pamalo for your kid to see, give another warning, then pag di pa din nag stop, palo na...its important din na gawin yung sinabi mo or yung warning mo, otherwise your kid will not take you seriously. tama din yung sabi ng ibang mommies to reprimand your kid in private, iwas sa mga lola at lolo na taga spoil at sa mga iba pa na would tend to laugh sa eksena nyo. usually your kid will misinterpret the spectators' laughter as having done something good or amusing that he will continue misbehaving. remember kids love the attention. and if they can easily get it by crying, yelling, spanking you, or paglulupasay sa mall, lagi nila gagawin yun. we, mommies, are being experimented on by our kids. they are good sa cause-and-effect at action-and-reaction. :)
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youngmom

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #28 on: May 23, 2008, 08:45:01 am »

when i was a kid,takot kami ng mga kapatid ko sa tsinelas ni daddy,haha,so pag kinuha na niya slippers niya(since ang sinturon e hindi naman laging available)slippers minsan gamit niya to spank us whenever we misbehave,and it works naman,nagamit naman ng maayos yung discipline technique niya na yon without having negative psychological effects on us as we grow us,siyempre masaya na kami nung malaki na kami kc sabi niya samin nung mga bata pa kami,pag malaki na kami at behave adults na kami,di na niya kami papaluin. ;D so pag mag mimisbehave kami and yung gesture niya kukunin na niya suot niyang slippers,aba,tameme kami,behave agad kami.i just wanted to share this story,pero i dont want to use this kind of method sa anak ko,gusto ko madaan siya sa tamang usapan na no need for spanking na,(wish ko lang hehe,lahat naman tayo diba).minsan kc kaya hindi effective ang palo sa bata kc we dont use it effectively.may certain guidelines and rules sa pamamalo,and certain timing and age naman for the child for using time out as
a discipline method.

MANY EXPERTS BELIEVE THAT PUNISHING A CHILD STOPS HIM OR HER FROM REPEATING A MISDEED,BUT PUNISHMENT WORKS ONLY WHEN USED EFFECTIVELY.IF IT ONLY CREATES UNPLEASANT FEELINGS AND DRAINS YOUR AND YOUR CHILD'S ENERGY,THEN IT'S FUTILE AS A DISCIPLINE TOOL.(SP JAN-FEB2008 ISSUE). IF YOU PUNISH YOUR CHILD FIVE TO SIX TIMES A DAY FOR THE SAME MISBEHAVIOR,AND YOU KEEP ADDING TO THE PUNISHMENT,THIS SHOULD TELL YOU THAT THE PUNISHMENT IS NOT WORKING.

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HOTMOM777

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Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #29 on: May 23, 2008, 01:07:00 pm »

We raised Cadence by showing her that spanking is our last resort.   We warn her 1st.  explain to her the possible outcome of her actions and the consequences she can get.  then if we do spank her, we talk to her after awhile and explained why she was spanked and we don't stop until she does understand.

Reverse psychology also works.  there was a time she keeps on crying, i don't want to spank her so what i did i told her NOT to stop crying.  that should she ever stop i would spank her....till finally she said " Mom, i'm tired na eh"...i tried not to laugh but instead used it an opportunity to explain matters to her, kaya ngayon she obeys naman.

she went thru different stages and huby & i went thru different options.  NOw at age 4 her worst punishment is either face the wall and no privileges such as playing at playroom or no playing games or watching tv.

just be firm & really follow thru so the kids would really know you mean business.
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