Parent Chat

Advanced search  

News:

Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 ... 24

Author Topic: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?  (Read 183595 times)

mamashao

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 12
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #60 on: June 20, 2008, 12:10:08 am »



      hi mga moms.. me I have 2 kiddo, eldest is 5 a gurl, and then 2 years old boy.. skin kc d effective yung TIME OUT eh, I try it b4 s 5 yrs old q, ang tendency is she's pulling her hair until mlgas talaga cia, since d q sya nkkita xe nga she's inside the room, after mpgsbhan.. kaya mula nun, d q na let try mg time out.. :-\
      hehe just sharing lang poh ;D
     
Logged

HOTMOM777

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 188
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #61 on: July 02, 2008, 11:07:56 am »

This is actually how I started spanking my daughter. Call me guilty but I think spanking is an unending debate you can't argue about like religion and politics.
I spanked her to show her spanking hurts and to show her who's boss. I've read a lot about spanking and even resorted to it. Since she turned 4, lessened na ang spanking and I feel good every passing day we don't have any bouts.
Of course, hangga't maaari, I don't.

i agree! we can't really judge or be forever cynical how parents raise their children because for one it's their children. they know them better and how to handle them better than us.  second, we are presented by lots of options on how to discipline our kids the only thing to keep in mind is to make sure that we still keep our children's dignity & self-respect intact.
Logged
People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine not when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in.  Their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within - ELISABETH KUBLER - ROSS

kalix

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 287
  • because of YOU!
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #62 on: July 07, 2008, 02:50:02 pm »

I read this from a mag (from Tao Te Ching book on parenting)...

GOOD BEHAVIOR

There are many ways to get children to behave as you wish.
You can force, plead, and bribe.
You can manipulate, trick, and persuade.
You can use shame, guilt, and reason.
These will all rebound upon you.
You will be in constant conflict.

Attend instead to your own actions.
Develop contentment within yourself.
Find peace and love in all you do.
This will keep you busy enough.
There is no need to control others.

If you are able to release even some small
part of your persistent need to control,
you will discover an amazing paradox.
The things you attempted to force
now begin to occur naturally.
People around you begin to change.
Your children find appropriate behavior
emerging from within themselves and are delighted.
Laughter returns to all.


Well, we just hope Lao Tzu was right... :D
« Last Edit: July 07, 2008, 02:52:59 pm by kalix »
Logged
"..there is no greater prayer than that of a MOTHER for her children. These are the purest prayers because of their intense desire and, at times, sense of desperation.

lei_tajao

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #63 on: July 09, 2008, 05:10:03 pm »

I'm a guidance counselor and a mother too. Just an advice:
You can discipline your children without shouting or spanking...
because discipline is rearing a healthy child through guidance and correction and shouting or spanking does not belong on the list of how to discipline our children.
in the hierarchy of moral development as defined by Laurence Kohlberg a psychologist, the lowest level is "following rules only to avoid punishment". the highest level is "following rules because it is right and good".
when a parent spank their children they are stopping their children on the lowest level of moral development. they are more interested in avoiding the punishment, rather than doing things because they are good and right.
another thing, when you shout or spank your child it does not stop the misbehavior, you are just teaching your child not to do misbehavior when in front of you. that means your teaching them to become experts not to be caught when doing misbehavior.

don't underestimate your child, you can discipline your child at an early age. discipline does not includes being angry, loud, excessive, abusive or degrading. you can discipline your child even when your playing or just chatting,it doesn't mean na kapag may kasalanan lang kailangang disciplinahin ang anak.

and i am proud to say that my 2 and a half year old son is a child with self-discipline. we don't have any scenarios of struggling at the mall. or him insisting what he want at the grocery store. he knows where to throw his trashes, when to tidy up his toys, etc. sabi nga "train your child in the way he should go and when he grows up he will not depart from it".

i have more to share pa sana. anyway, you can email me at lei_tajao@yahoo.com if you have questions. i am very much willing to share my experiences as a guidance counselor and as a mother. thanks and God bless
Logged

gailey

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 222
    • View Profile
    • Nappy Tales
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #64 on: July 09, 2008, 06:44:17 pm »

thanks lei. for sure makakatanggap ka ng maraming emails ;)
Logged
nappytales.blogspot.com

crimsonclaw

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #65 on: September 07, 2008, 12:43:00 am »

ako naman mga mommies, napalo ko si sean kanina. kulet kasi. nasa room kase kami, pinapakain ni hubby si sean while they were watching tv. eh eto si sean, talon ng talon. nakita ni mama, so dakdak sha and all na di namen tinuturuan anak namen, pag na-apendicitis sha di daw niya kami tutulungan. eh nagpintig tenga ko. sinabihan ko si sean na stop jumping. pati asawa ko, sinabihan na sha. di pa ren nakinig. napalo ko tuloy. then after nun, di ko na sha pinansin. tas pumasok ako sa work walang paalam. na-giguilty tuloy ako. argh. sa kanya ko naibunton galit ko sa mama ko. naasar kasi ako ng ganun, sisisihin pa kami. dun lang naman tumatalon si sean pag nakina mama. sa bahay ni hubby, di naman naglilikot si sean...i have a feeling tuloy na gusto lang ni mama paluin ko si sean para mapalapit sa kanya yung bata.
Logged

gabneth

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 265
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #66 on: September 10, 2008, 09:31:26 am »

yan din ang problem ko kay gwyneth... masyado na ata pasaway... as in vryday e napapagalitan ko.... sabi baka daw nagseselos lang sa baby boy namin...
Logged

yishan

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 46
  • http://janicepallarca.multiply.com/
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #67 on: September 11, 2008, 05:48:17 pm »

natutunan ko sa oprah yung 'naughty chair'. around 2 yung kid ko nun, kulit at hirap nga i-discipline. one time he misbehaved, i got him a chair, inupo ko sya dun for two minutes. iyak sya ng iyak, though hawak ko sya at nakayakap sya sakin, di ko sya inalis dun. then afterwards i told him why i made him sit sa 'naughty chair'. since then, pag makulit at nag misbehave, i tell him lang na iuupo ko sya sa 'naughty chair' niya, titigil na yun. so far that was the 1st and the last time na naupo sya dun. he's turning 5 na this sept. it can be a naughty corner or a mat, basta kung ilang taon sya, say 3 yrs old, 3 mins din yung time niya sa naughty chair or mat niya.

ok un tip mo mommy leda... if my baby kyle will turn on that kakulitan age, i'll try it talaga!  ;D  ;D
Logged

aishen1208

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 39
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #68 on: September 17, 2008, 07:42:18 am »

sa house naman, pag nagtatantrums si aishen or jamille nung maliit pa sila, iyak ng iyak at nagwawala (mga less than 2 yrs old yata sila) ang ginagawa ko kinakarga ko, inaakap then dadalhin sa room...i let her calm down...mabilis naman hihinto ang bata sa pag iyak specially when you're embracing them...then i'll ask her kung anong problema...usually kc kaya nagtatantrums ang bata, there is something wrong...i let them know na naiintindihan ko sya pero hindi tama yung ginagawa nyang pagwawala or iyak ng iyak...nakakatuwa kc at their young age naiintindihan nila yung sinasabi ko...then suddenly nawala na lang yung ganung ugali na nagwawala pag di nakuha yung gusto...then nung mga age 3 naman sila, ang madalas na problem ko is nang aaway ng ibang kids or di sumusunod pag may inutos ka like keeping her toys...if they misbehaved, 'sit on the corner' ang katapat nila...effective nung una..but one time i found my youngest daughter while sitting in the corner (as punishment) still crying pero nagcocolor...nasa tabi nyapla yung crayons and coloring book niya..so parang umaarte na lang sa pagiyak...so nag up-grade kami ng punishment nila ;) ...face the wall na sila until now..this is still effective..kc masakit nga naman sa binti yung matagal ka nakatayo..usually mga 5 minutes or until they say sorry and nagpromise na di na uulit..yung sincere na sorry minsan kc sinasabi lang nila sorry para matapos na yung face the wall punishment nila...so dapat makita ko yung sincerity sa kanila that they really are sorry for what they have done..madalas silang mapunish ngayon pag nag-away silang magkapatid or nag-agawan ng toys..i don't need to know kung sino tama or mali basta sabay silang magface the wall...minsan kakaasar and kakaawa rin pakinggan na nagiiyakan silang dalawa...pero hinahayaan ko muna..andun lang naman ako sa tabi nila pag nagface the wall sila...then alam na nila gagawin nila..they will kiss and make up..magsosorry sila sa isat isa while caressing each others' cheeks..hehe...ganun sila magsorry..kahit sa amin ng papa niya..hahawak pa yan sa cheeks mo...yun yung gauge ko para malaman na sincere nga sila sa pag sosorry..then they will say their promise to each other - like di na kita aawayin or pahihiramin na kita ng toy...tapos pagkakabitin or pagdidikitin nila yung hinliliit (pinky) as sign of their promise...di ko alam kung san naman nila nakuha yun..natawa nga ko nung una kong makita na ginawa nila yun...pero syempre di ko pinakita na natatawa ako...hehe.. :)

discipling your child is a long process..dami kang matututunan on the way...
« Last Edit: September 17, 2008, 07:46:04 am by aishen1208 »
Logged

prhea

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 196
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #69 on: September 17, 2008, 09:09:03 am »

hai mommies!

try to visit this site: www.babycenter.com

helpful talaga sya coz very informative... :)


Why your child has temper tantrums

A temper tantrum is the emotional equivalent of a summer storm sudden and sometimes fierce. One minute you and your child are in a restaurant enjoying your dinner, the next minute he's whimpering, whining, and then screaming at the top of his lungs because his straw is bent. Children between the ages of 1 and 3 are especially prone to such episodes.

Though you may worry that you're raising a tyrant, take heart at this age, it's unlikely that your child is throwing a fit to be manipulative. More likely, he's having a meltdown in response to frustration. Claire B. Kopp, professor of applied developmental psychology at California's Claremont Graduate University, attributes much of the problem to uneven language skills. "Toddlers are beginning to understand a lot more of the words they hear, yet their ability to produce language is so limited," she says. When your child can't express how he feels or what he wants, frustration mounts.

How to handle a tantrum

Don't lose your cool. A tantrum is not a pretty sight. In addition to kicking, screaming, or pounding the floor, your toddler's repertoire may include throwing things, hitting, and even holding his breath to the point of turning blue. When your child is swept up in a tantrum, he's unlikely to listen to reason, though he will respond negatively to your yelling or threatening. "I found the more I shouted at Brandon to stop, the wilder he would get," says one mother of a 2-year-old. What worked instead, she discovered, was to just sit down and be with him while he raged.

Staying with your child during a tantrum is a good idea. Stomping out of the room alluring as that may be can make him feel abandoned. The storm of emotion he's going through can be frightening to him, and he'll appreciate knowing you're nearby. Some experts recommend picking up your child and holding him if it's feasible (i.e., he's not flailing too much), saying he'll find your embrace comforting. But others say it's better to ignore the tantrum until your child calms down, rather than rewarding negative behavior. Through trial and error, you'll learn which approach is right for your child.

Remember that you're the adult. No matter how long the tantrum continues, don't give in to unreasonable demands or negotiate with your screaming toddler. It's especially tempting in public to cave in as a way of ending the episode. Try not to worry about what others think anyone who's a parent has been there before. By conceding, you'll only be teaching your child that throwing a fit is a good way to get what he wants, and setting the stage for future behavior problems. Besides, your child is already frightened by being out of control. The last thing he needs is to feel that you're not in control either.

If your child's outburst escalates to the point where he's hitting people or pets, throwing things, or screaming nonstop, pick him up and carry him to a safe place, such as his bedroom. Tell him why he's there ("because you hit Aunt Sally"), and let him know that you'll stay with him until his negative behavior stops. If you're in a public place a common breeding ground for tantrums be prepared to leave with your child until he calms down.

"When my daughter was 2, she had an absolute fit at a restaurant because the plain spaghetti she ordered arrived with chopped parsley on it," recalls one mother. "Although I realized why she was upset, I wasn't about to let her disrupt everyone's dinner. I took her outside until she calmed down."

Talk it over afterward. When the storm subsides, hold your child close and talk about what happened. Acknowledge his frustration, and help him put his feelings into words, saying something like, "You were very angry because your food wasn't the way you wanted it." Let him see that once he expresses himself in words, he'll get better results. Say with a smile, "I'm sorry I didn't understand you. Now that you're not screaming, I can find out what you want."

Try to head off tantrum-inducing situations. Pay attention to what situations push your child's buttons and plan accordingly. If he falls apart when he's hungry, carry snacks with you. If he has trouble making a transition from one activity to the next, give him a gentle heads-up before a change. Alerting him to the fact that you're about to leave the playground or sit down to dinner ("We're going to eat when you and Daddy are done with your story") gives him a chance to adjust instead of react.

Your toddler is grappling with independence, so offer him choices whenever possible. No one likes being told what to do all the time. Saying, "Would you like corn or carrots?" rather than "Eat your corn!" will give him a sense of control. Monitor how often you're saying "no." If you find you're rattling it off routinely, you're probably putting unnecessary stress on both of you. Try to ease up and choose your battles. Would it really wreck your schedule to spend an extra five minutes at the playground? And does anybody really care if your tike wears mismatched mittens?

Watch for signs of overstress. Although daily tantrums are a perfectly normal part of the mid-toddler years, you do need to keep an eye out for possible problems. Has there been upheaval in the family? An extremely busy or harried period? Tension between Mom and Dad? All of these can provoke tantrums. If after the age of 30 months your child is still having major tantrums every day, talk to your doctor. If your child is younger than 30 months and has three or four tantrums a day and isn't cooperating with any routines, such as getting dressed or picking up toys, you also may want to seek help. Your doctor can make sure your child has no serious physical or psychological problems and suggest ways to deal with the outbursts. Also, talk to your doctor if your child has frightening breath-holding spells when he gets upset. There's some evidence that this behavior is linked to an iron deficiency.
Logged

myralmedo

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 284
  • my super bundle of joy-kurt elijah
    • View Profile
    • ♥live.laugh.love♥
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #70 on: September 17, 2008, 09:24:14 am »

halu mga mommies! :D

i have a 2 years and 3 mos. old son... ;) iba iba ang ways/approach to discipline our kiddos depende rin sa level ng kakakulitan.. sabi ko dati kapag may anakis na ko i have my own style kayo rin ba ganun? kc diba dumaan din tau sa mga parents ntin tas ako talaga my mudra is the one yung namamalo and nadisciplined naman kami dun pro iba rin talaga kapag may sariling anak ka na... am not using yung "palo system" as a mom ang hirap kc parang kaw rin nassaktan... am blessed c my son my son ko indi ganun kakulit pro siguro as they reach yung age 3 up susme dadami ata wrinkles ko sa kanya..hehe echos..  ;D bhira ko lang ciang mapagalitan since he can follow instructions and masasabhan mo naman pro lung super tantrums na talaga same w/ mommy sheen face the wall ako pro parang nilalaro nalang niya.. ::) tatakbo sa wall tas maya2 babalik na tas hihingi na ng sorry, magpapacute then smile smile mga few minutes indi ko cia pinapansin... kapag calm down na ko and tahimik na rin cia kakausapin ko sa room dun kami ngtutuos tas ssbhin ko bakit cia pinagalitan, i always strecth na indi ako galit sa kanya sa gnwa niya, yung gnwa niya yung bad , ayaw ni mee2 na ganun gestures... sumasagot naman cia ng opo while crying tas wait ako few minutes hihingi cia ng sorry tas kiss and hug ko na cia... and kapag galit na talaga ako ssbhin ko ind ko cia bati mad c mee2 kc bad yung gnwa niya...tas pag tintwag niya ko d ko pinapansin ssbhin ko behave lang cia and he'll follow maya2 cia na ang magiinitiate magssorry, super dikit and hug niya ko kahit sbhin ko pa na punta cia kay dada niya or kay mommy/lola or papsky/lolo ayaw hehe... nakaawa rin kaya un bati na lit.. ;D nakaintindi naman niya w/c am glad and nakaatuwa kc effective yung approach ko ;)... tska mahaba ang patience and tolerance ko sa mga bagay bagay kaya un :D

and if he wants something na indi talaga puwede all caps na "NO!!!" daming exclamation  ;D like for ex. nakaktatlong yakult or chuckie na cia wa mo pa daw (one more) sa gantong scene kaaway ko mga grannies kc ibgay lang daw ang gusto naku ako pag indi indi pra lam nila kc masasanay like now emphasize ko na pagNO NO tlaga, in an early age nadedevelop na yung traits na ganun and they can understand na just explain to them in a way na maiintindhan din nila... mas maaga natututo na yung mga bagets it will serve as their guidelines whe they grow old.. foundation un nila! ;)

korek mommy sheen it's a long process and u as a mom you will learn everyday something new in that process. ;) kaya natin to mga mommies! :D

"Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. He needs guidance. If there is love, there is no such thing as being too tough with a child. -Bette Davis"

"By constant self-discipline and self-control
you can develop greatness of character-Grenville Kleiser "


Godabless!0=)
« Last Edit: September 17, 2008, 09:25:45 am by myralmedo »
Logged
|myralmedo| I'm not a Princess. I'm a QUEEN.


Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live. ♥♥♥

lmlkids

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • my cute angels
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #71 on: September 17, 2008, 01:42:02 pm »

 :D share lang mommies , I have 3 kids na iba iba ang level ng pagdescipline na ginawa namin base sa experience namin ng hubby ko yung eldest ko super bait nung toddler years niya kesa sa 2 sisters niya very hyper ang 2 girls kiddo ko grabe,my eldest pagsinabi mo no bawal yan or next time uli behave na  :D but dito sa  girls ko ibang approach ang ginawa namin explain muna namin lahat para wag magtantrum pag hindi nasunod ang gusto,mahirap kasi na makalakihan nila na always sila ang masusunod, tama si mommy sheen,naiindindihan nila ang sinasabi mo iba kasi ang kids ngayon matanong so dun na pumapasok ang bonding time nyo magmommy more explanation na ang mangyayari..............
Logged

myralmedo

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 284
  • my super bundle of joy-kurt elijah
    • View Profile
    • ♥live.laugh.love♥
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #72 on: September 17, 2008, 01:53:48 pm »

mommy prhea thanks for sharing!  ;)

trulalu nga this is the way you should handle your kiddos... ay ansarap maging mommy andami mong natutunan at matutunan though mhirap hehe...  :D enjoy ako infairview.. ;) love kids kc eh kaya siguro optimistic ako pgdating dito ;)


thanks again mommy!;)

Godabless!0=)
Logged
|myralmedo| I'm not a Princess. I'm a QUEEN.


Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live. ♥♥♥

prhea

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 196
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #73 on: September 17, 2008, 02:16:26 pm »

you're welcome, sis!

try to visit the site: www.babycenter.com

you will learn a lot from it... don din ako madalas nagse-seek ng help/advices. :)

Logged

ILOVEMYBABYSOMUCH

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
    • View Profile
Re: how to discipline a toddler (1-3yo) Bawal nang mamalo?
« Reply #74 on: January 04, 2009, 06:54:12 am »

momi maphine medyo alarming nga po kc he's also hurting himself, you may want to raised this issue with your pedia... ok lang po sana kung ikaw lang pinapalo kc minsan ganyan din c jared sa kin bigla na lang mamamalo and may mga times na pinapalo ko din siya para alam niya na masakit yun and as what mommyjazz said para alam niya who's the boss... pero never niya sinaktan sarili niya... question po bakit ba siya nagagalit, you might also want to take note bakit and kelan siya nagagalit ng ganyan and evaluate...

ako kc i pinapalo ko lang son ko pagnamalo din lang siya and explain ko din bakit ko siya pinalo otherwise kinakausap ko lang siya ng masinsinan, minsan naman i hold him tight sa arms habang pinapagalitan ko siya ng impit (ayoko kc sumisigaw eh)... case to case basis din kc ang pag discipline...

share ko lang po... just last week i told him to fixed his toys before going to sleep and ang daming kesyo di kaya, c ate na lang.... so sabi ko pag di niya inayos gamit niya di na siya bibilhan ng toys ulit and d niya dapat iasa sa iba pagorganize ng things niya kc kanya yun and paginayos niya un toys niya bibilhan ko pa siya kaya ayun dali-daling bumaba ng bed at inayos un toys niya kaya naman last saturday i bought him the piano with mic as his reward for being obedient... ;)

we have to understand that,at that age, they dont know yet how to express their emotions...ako, may 1-yr-old also tend to hit me or her dad kapag di nasusunod gusto niya so what we do is we hug her and ask her galit ba sya and she wud say opo tapos we told her n if she's mad just say mad instead of hitting momi or dadi...awa ng diyos ganun n ginagawa niya...kapag inaaway sya ng pinsan niya instead of fighting back she wud come to me and say mad and hug me...minsan kahit nga pag bored sya or she just cried she wud sad...lets just assure them n we understand how they feel and teach them how to express their emotions in a nice way...
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 ... 24