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Author Topic: daughter overwhelming hatered, jealous with the bunso  (Read 6309 times)

marissa_abellardo

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daughter overwhelming hatered, jealous with the bunso
« on: February 16, 2012, 01:08:35 pm »

Hi mga sis,

   I have a 12 yr old daughter and a 7 yr old one. My eldest is in high school the bunso is gr 2. They usually fight like other kids. But i noticed that something is wrong when the eldest is getting jealous with the bunso mga gr 1 sya. So i have a quit time with my first born. Nagstop lang when she was about gr 4 o 5. Now that she is in HS nagiba yung eldest ko parang kakainin na niya yung youngest ko looks like overwhelming hatered . I dont know if its jealousy. When they whee in Montessori ok pa sya. Now in QC SCI  i was shocked coz my maid heared her curse. No one does that at home. I asked her bout it and she said all her classmates does that. I am scared im losing my daughter. She was a consistent achiever and to think with deportment award pa since prep. I dont know what to do. Need to talk to he and resolve this. But dont know how. Baka magkamali ako lalo maloko yung buhay ng anak ko. help! Last resort ko will be talking to a psychologist. Planning to transfer her to a catholic school na lang kaya lang baka mali yung decision ko.help!!!

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« Last Edit: July 30, 2018, 10:16:00 pm by Mommy Jazz »
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Mommy France

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Re: How to talk to my daughter help!
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2012, 02:25:06 pm »

If you don't know how to talk to your daughter at her age then the problem is communication.

If I were in your position, I wouldn't transfer her immediately without talking sa teachers niya sa school kung paano siya mag-behave and identify yung attitude ng mga friends niya. The school is the least of your problems.

As a mom, I will try and figure out kung bakit siya galit sa kapatid niya. Based kasi sa kwento mo parang assumptions lang lahat. Wala pa naman talaga siyang ginagawang malaking problema na na-indetify mo other than looking at her sister with hatred and cursing.

When the yaya told you she cursed, what did you do?
When you saw her look, what did you do?

When did you start feeling like you're losing her? What did you do?

When she was in grade 1 (around 5-6 yrs old), your second child was barely a year old. Dapat noon palang nagawa mo ng mag-connect silang magkapatid.

Sabe nga nila, the first thing in solving a problem is identifying the problem. When you know what the real problem is then you you will be able to talk to her. Always remember that she is your child and you are still her mother. She's just 12 years old.

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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

marissa_abellardo

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Re: How to talk to my daughter help!
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2012, 03:49:11 pm »

Hi Mommy France, i had a quiet time with my eldest again just like before and we had a heart to heart talk. We sorted all problems and laid down possible solutions.  And we agreed to do our part. That was about a week now. And its working. I believe that our quiet time should always be consistent, so as thoughts or feeling that the younger has more time with me will be erased. Our quiet time is spending about half a day or the whole day just the two of us talking and lakwatsa. Before kasi when i see her do something not nice sinasabihan ko agad. But she feels bad that lagi syang mali. The quiet time relly helped. Her friends are ok naman its the majority of the class who curses. We talked about that too. and i havent heared anything yet or it might be too early. But i know we will resolve this. Thanks sis..
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Mommy France

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Re: How to talk to my daughter help!
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2012, 04:56:50 pm »

Glad you turned things for the better. Sana tuloy-tuloy na.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

disneymom

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Re: How to talk to my daughter help!
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2012, 12:13:34 pm »

@  marissa_abellardo

It's been 6 months already. kamusta naman ang eldest mo? may changes ba after your communication with her?
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Golda_Magsaysay

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Re: How to talk to my daughter help!
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2012, 06:16:12 pm »

i think your daughter needs to be more comfortable speaking her mind with her family. moving her to another school won't help. what will help is if you encourage her to say whatever she wants to say at home. she has to learn to be more comfortable being honest with people. wag mo nang alahanin kung masakit yung mga sinasabi niya at first. what matters is that she opens up to you and the rest of the family.
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: daughter overwhelming hatered, jealous with the bunso
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2018, 11:40:11 am »

Read it on Smart Parenting.
Here's a Great Story to Show Fairness and Sharing Between Siblings

Click this link:
https://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/preschooler/read-aloud-hating-kapatid-a00061-20181129?ref=parentchat
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