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[strawberryjewel]

Hi sis Jijiera. How are you? Hope you're doing good. Long time no surfing the net ako e. Update us naman kung kamusta na lagay mo. Hehe. God bless sis!

[Jijiera]

Hi sisses! Im doing way better now, more focused sa work kasi i need to save up for my delivery in December kaya todo kayod hehe. About the SD, still nothing not even a single text. I deleted him completely in our lives so wala na ko alam sa kanya. I removed him even in my facebook and instagram kasi i was advised its better to keep him out of sight kasi sobrang nagagalit ako makita ko lang face niya which is not good for the baby daw. Last thing Ive heard from a common friend is that he is still very much in the country so hindi sya nagtuloy bumalik sa US last month as he planned. Probably pag malapit na ko manganak saka yun aalis ng bansa to avoid the DNA testing kasi pag na prove na sa court ang identity ng bata tapos ang maliligayang araw niya.

Im really not expecting him to return to us or even to just apologize to me. Nagsink in na siguro sakin what kind of a person he and his entire family is. Nakakahiya lang ikwento sa mga kaibigan ko kasi parang nakakahiya umamin na i let myself get deceived by that kind of person na wala na ngang buto wala pang bayag. Well i hope he is happy where he is right now - sa ilalim ng palda ng nanay niya. Wag na wag sya makalapit lapit samin paglabas ng baby kasi di ba according to him baog sya at may dinate akong iba bago maging kami? So 100% wala sya anak at never sya pwede magkaanak. Siguro gusto niya ang ipa DNA test ko yung ex ko before him whom i broke up with September last year. Baka sya yung tatay ng 4mos old baby sa chan ko kasi sya yung dinate ko bago maging kami e hahaha!

I still have lonely moments pag nakakakita ako ng families na masaya. I just keep my head high and try to shake it off para hindi ulit madepress. I usually feel sad pag may masakit sakin and im kinda wishing na sana may nagaalaga sakin aside from my parents. Sometimes din i feel stressed pag naiisip yung hospital bills and gastos paglabas ng baby. Pero again i just try hard to shake it off para hindi maglinger yung feeling.

I find strength in knowing about stories similar to mine. It amazes me how strong women really are especially pag anak na ang pinagusapan. Honestly i dont care anymore kung ano isipin nila about me. They can say whatever they want basta wag lang nila papakialaman ang baby ko. Because i know at the end of the day hindi naman kami ng anak ko yung kakarmahin. Yes i made the biggest mistake of trusting someone whom i thought loved me so much to the point of starting a family with me. Pero hindi ko naisip even once to terminate my pregnancy dahil lang iniwanan at tinanggi ng tatay yung baby ko. When we get to heaven i know God saw everything that happened to us at alam niya hindi ako sumuko kahit sobrang daming sacrifices and life changes ang kasabay ng pagiging singlemom. I cherished yung binigay nyang gift of life sakin unlike yung tatay na tinalikuran ang blessing because he loved himself more than anything else.