Parent Chat

Advanced search  

News:


Don't forget to check your email verification from info@smartparenting.com.ph

Author Topic: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?  (Read 6401 times)

lechar613

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 3
    • View Profile
Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« on: September 10, 2012, 01:18:38 am »

Good morning sa lahat ng mga mommy's! hopefully may makatulong sakin! I have a daughter she's 4 years old na super kulit, very sweet but sometimes she makes me crazy! My problem is about her behaviour lalo na pag-kinokorek ko sya sa mga mali nyang answer regarding sa homework niya! una mag-wawala sya itatapon niya books niya or pencil niya! then after that iniexplain ko sa kanya na mali yung ginagawa niya! tanong ko lang kung may koneksyon ba ito sa behaviour niya kasi nakatira kami sa mother ko which is pag pinapagalitan ko or pinapalo ko anak ko papagalitan niya ako at sinasabihan akong salbahe infront of my daughter! hindi na sya masyadong nakikinig sakin then minsan nag-pray sya na sana daw wag na daw akong maging maldita? OmG! super stress na ko kasi hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko! naiisip ko tuloy lumipat n alang ng bahay para maicorrect ko pa ugali ng anak ko! sana may makatulong! thanks in advance! God Bless you all!

Mod's note:
10 Etiquette Lessons Every Pinoy Child Should Know

Read it on Smart Parenting. Click this link:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/preschooler/10-etiquette-lessons-every-pinoy-child-should-know-a00026-20171207

Post a question about this topic or share your experience. 
Login or register to join this and other discussions! Members get a downloadable freebie upon registration or membership update.


« Last Edit: December 17, 2017, 02:12:45 pm by Mommyjazz »
Logged

xianne

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 139
    • View Profile
Re: regarding po sa behaviour ng daughter ko!
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2012, 08:05:45 am »

siguro sis tell your mom na  wag kunsintihin yung bata,na kailangan mong disiplinahin yung bata.. ganyan yung anak mo kasi alam nyang may kakampi sya.. but ilessesn mo din yung pamamalo baka naman sis sobra ka mamalo?yung pinsan ko ganyan din sya pag may mali, sagot pa ng sagot sa mama niya.. tapos pag pinalo magagalit yung papa niya sa mama niya... tapos mag aaway yung mama at papa niya hehe.. So ang ginawa ni tita, he let her husband to teach her daughter & help sa homework..then one time sinagot sagot niya yung papa niya..napalo din sya..cmula nun unti-unti nagbago sya kasi pati kuya niya pinapagalitan sya pag sumasagot.. so siguro sis kausapin mo nalang yung mom mo.. pero sa edad na ganyan..parang ganyan talaga behavior nila ee makulit,mahilig magdahilan hehe..

Logged

inkee

  • Guest
Re: regarding po sa behaviour ng daughter ko!
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2012, 07:24:14 pm »

super smart na mga bata ngayon. madali matuto ng mga bagay. Minsan rin ang palo sa mga bata ngayon wala na epek. kahit you stare at them and your eyes are super big na, deadma lang sila.

ako I talked to my daughter lang, mahinahon, pag sasagot sagot naman, kakausapin ko pa rin na mahinahon, ang I always tell her dont shout and etc kasi I am talking to her in a nice way naman. Minsan nakukuha rin mga bata ng ganyan. I dont know kids these days talaga.
Logged

Mommy France

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1649
  • Lucky to be loved by 2 boys
    • View Profile
Re: regarding po sa behaviour ng daughter ko!
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2012, 08:41:46 pm »

One aspect lang siguro yung kinakampihan siya ng lola niya kapag pinapagalitan mo.
I think meron pang iba. Kasi your daughter describes as "maldita". I think naririnig niya to sa ibang tao.

Pero tama ka na possibleng sa bahay niya nakukuha yun so observe mo where she gets it.
Try mo muna amuhin yung anak mo. Iwas pagalit at iwas palo. You wont get her admiration thru spanking sa stage na ito.

Talk to your mom and ask her assistance. Your mom wouldn;t be happy kung alam niyang magkaka-conflict kayo ng anak mo so tutulong yun.

So - dont just work or removing the "stressors" sa relationship ninyo. Ayusin mo din yung relationship ninyo by finding a good way to discipline her.
Logged
I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

mami che

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 446
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2012, 05:10:52 am »

Oo nga mga sis... Iba na mga bata ngayon... Parang ang hirap ng icontrol. Korek ka sis inkee. Hindi na ganun ka effective ang mga palo, stare, mad face, growling voice.... Kaya ang last resort talaga - is to talk to them in the "mildest form"... pero syempre mahirap gawin yun :) kaya breath in, breath out process really helps.... paulit ulit mong iexplain why you got mad, why you are raising your voice at bakit sya bad sa ginawa niya... in time, maabsorb din nila (slowly but surely) ;) patience talaga is the key...

Re the lola, malaki effect nun sa pagdidisiplina mo sa anak mo sis. I hope you can talk to the lola nicely regarding your wants and rules for your kids. Mahirap yung habang dinidisiplina mo yung kid mo e may kumokontra sayo. The more na kelangan mong tutukan yung kid mo...  
Logged
"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother..."

sweet&spice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 988
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2012, 12:19:39 pm »

In any thing that would require change, the first thing that we have to do is, gather real information. Kung may behavioral problems si baby, we have to root out the cause of it.  Mag-observe ka, ask people around, and ask your child as well. Prepare your heart to hear some things that might hurt you ---bottomline, we just want to know the truth, para matulungan mo yung anak mo.

Yung mga name calling, like "maldita", is a learned behavior. Look for neighbors, usual playmates, or even, favorite teleseryes that your child is exposed to. It might not necessarily be your mother per se. Grandparents are mostly more lenient, but it helps that when you discipline your child, eh "united" kayo.

When I hear my friend and my yaya, say inappropriate things (like masungit, malandi or something na namecalling ang katumbas) while we are having a conversation and we are infront of my child, nagagalit ako. I stop them and remind them that they have to be careful because baby is there, I don't want baby to "adopt" the adult words, eh its very hard to explain the adults' biases and perception.

Four years old is a vital stage....super galing na mag-isip and mag-reason out. It's ok to talk and reason out, pero as always, there is a proper way to address and express your frustration. I help my child express them better, by asking him to calm down, if not, i'm not gonna talk to him. We breathe in and out, together, or ask him to blow his fingers (like a candle) to calm his nerves, tapos that's the only time that we talk, and we address his frustration.

It's easier to get angry and mamalo, when one is tired especially kung galing kang office/work. It's almost automatic. If you're too stressed, di mo rin mamamalayan, napakadali mong mainis.

Baby had a "behavior" din before, and it got me into thinking kasi bumaba yung conduct niya. I had some soul searching, and I asked yaya. She told me I got so busy kasi with other things, and my son, being considerate, was not bothering me, but he couldn't handle the fact that I don't have time for him, kaya ayun, sa pagpapansin, naging mainitin ang ulo and iyakin. Buti na lang, in just about one month, naayos na. I had to keep all my promise to him, and spend exclusive time with him as well. In time, he trusted me that our "me time" cannot be compromised and mommy is always there for him.

Cheers, it's not hard to see how to put him back in the right direction. You are her mom, who loves her immensely. Try talking softly and asking questions in a non-pagalit manner and neutral zone, like in a playground/fast food...yung kayo lang, wala si lola. make a habit of a date, once a week. Promise, that will improve.  ;)
Logged
When happiness is at the horizon, seize it, call out to it. Claim and decide that it's yours!

Golda_Magsaysay

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2012, 04:22:08 pm »

hindi talaga maganda ang paggamit ng pagpalo para idiscipline ang isang bata, so tama yung grandparents on that point. pero hindi ibig sabihin na hindi mo siya dapat idiscipline. do it by communicating with your daughter. sit down and talk to her ng masinsinan. talk to her like a grown-up. treat her like an individual. pag nakita nyang siniseryoso mo sya, magrerespond yun ng tama.
Logged

KVsmommy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 477
  • Living a full life as a WAHMmy. :D
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2012, 01:04:20 am »

akala ko daughter ko lang yung ganun, yung ayaw niya pag sinasabing mali sya (like when playing a game), or when practicing her writing, magaling magdahilan (if she doesn't want to do something she's being told to do)... nakakaloka.

but I have to admit, I think a part of it (a lot of it I think), may be my fault. May pagka-perfectionist din kasi ako eh. Tapos when i teach her reading, writing, and all that, pag nagkakamali sya, nagagalit ako. :( So feeling ko naprepressure ko sya. Kaya siguro ganun sya when she commits mistakes. Ayaw niya siguro magagalit ako... Pero I'm slowly changing na this attitude towards teaching her, I don't want her to think na failing or not doing everything right is that bad.

I have to agree with what the moms here say na talagang talk talk talk in a mild and understandable manner (for kids) ang solusyon. Not necessarily giving in to what they want (like most grannies are inclined to do.hehe), but to let them know that they can't always have things their way. :)

The challenges of parenthood, iba na talaga ang mga bata... so we really have to adjust din. :)

KClaire

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • a Queen and a mom to an Empress :-)
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2012, 03:31:54 pm »

sabi naman nila pag ang bata daw laki sa mga lolo o lola, mabait daw... :)
Logged
iloveyouCassie

kiko18

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 58
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2012, 10:50:27 am »

mahirap talaga yun..minsan kasi they would spoil the kids too much na ang tendency kahit pinagagalitan na nila eh hindi na sumusunod sa kanila. parang they wanted to correct or ulitin yung way ng pagpapalaki nila sa mga anak nila through their grandson/daughters. lagi ko nga sinasabi kahit anong gawin nila different person yun and iba iba dapat ang way on how to raise them.
Logged

annamariemomof3

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2013, 07:53:19 am »

My son was the same way Nung nakatira pa kami sa parents ko kasi nga laging kinakampihan at kinukunsinti ng lolo. Pero I am the parent I have to be the kontrabida Kung kailangan. I explained to him that it's for his own good naman. He still behaves differently kapag lolo niya ang kasama pero at least hindi na siya paladabog at palasagot.
Logged

mommy_shark

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 18
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2013, 11:06:14 am »

It is possible na nasanay yung daughter mo na hindi pinapagsabihan ng parents mo kapag may ginawang mali. Kaya kapag ikaw na yung nagagalit or pag pinagsasabihan mo na siya ng kung ano yung tama hindi niya ma-accept kasi akala siguro ng daughter mo lahat okay lang or lahat tama since madalas siya sa parents mo. Ganyan din kasi sa case ko. For 2weeks last march iniiwan namin yung daughter ko (who is 1yr 10mo. now) sa house ng dad ko with maid every morning tapos susunduin namin sa hapon. After ng 2weeks na stay ni baby ko sa dad ko napansin namin na madalas siya mag tantrums at humihiga pa sa sahig kapag pinagsasabihan or pinapagalitan namin na hindi naman niya ginagawa before. Spoiler kasi dad ko lahat ng gusto ni baby hinahayaan lang niya..tapos pag may ginawang hindi maganda si baby hindi niya pinapagalitan..smile lang siya tapos pagsasabihan naman pero malambing pa rin. Kampante ako sa house ng dad ko dahil napataba nila si baby (malnourished siya before nung doon siya nagsstay sa mother-in-law ko) pero ang consequence eh nagiging spoiled brat ang baby girl ko.

Baka ganon din kasi yung parents mo sa daughter mo kaya naisip siguro ng daughter mo bakit mo siya pinagsasabihan eh okay naman sa mga lolo at lola niya na ganon ang ginagawa niya. Sabihan mo na lang siguro parents mo na sitahin naman minsan yung daughter mo para lang alam niya kung ano tama at mali. :)

Madali naman turuan ang bata. Wag mo na patagalin mommy kasi pag lumaki laki pa siya mas mahirap na baguhin yan :) Good luck!
Logged

riaaaaaaaa88

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 15
    • View Profile
Re: Daughter's behavior caused by living with grandparents?
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2013, 09:43:20 am »

Hi mommy! My cousin is the same way. Kasi madami sila sa bahay, andun yung lola ko, isa ko pang tita, and mom ko tapos yung family ng tito ko. Eh yung cousin kong lalake, sobrang sutil. Hindi masaway and he has the tendency to be violent. Nung tumira ako dun for a short time inobserve ko talaga kung bakit siya nagiging ganon. Pano kasi, kapag dinidisiplina siya ng parents niya, nangingialam si lola, isa ko pang tita and mommy ko, nagagalit sila dun sa nanay nung bata kasi pinagsasabihan. Kailangan kasi may consistency. Meron dapat primary disciplinarian and no other person should have anything to say about it. Kaso mahirap kasi extended family nga sila. Tapos pansin ko din pag napapagalitan si pinsan, pag nagtantrums na o nagwala, inaamo nila. Mali yun kasi the kid has learned how to manipulate everyone around him. Dapat dun pinababayaan lang magtantrums basta safe sya and away from sharp objects eh malapagod din naman siya lalo na pag narerealize niyang hindi effective ang ginagawa niya.

Maybe its best to talk with your your parents nalang na you are still the parent and ikaw yung the best na makakapagdisiplina sa anak mo. Iba kasi pag lolo/lola they tend to spoil the kids talaga. Or kung kaya niyo na bumukod, mas mabuti yun kung kaya niyo lang naman :)
Logged