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Author Topic: What did your mom teach you about being a mother  (Read 3090 times)

annamariemomof3

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What did your mom teach you about being a mother
« on: November 29, 2012, 09:18:20 am »

Sometimes I feel ill equipped to be a mom kasi I grew up with nannies. Even when she's there she lets my father deal with me. She's not the kind to change dirty diapers and such. She never went to one school event not even my graduation. I have never seen a picture of us together, at least not one where she is holding me. All I can remember about her is when she gets me in trouble with my dad because she would cry about something I said or did no matter how trivial it is. So growing up I learned to stay away from her so I would not accidentally hurt her "feelings". The one time I ever came to her was when I was in high school and I told her I had a bf. she told me not to tell my dad. And when my dad found out she totally denied ever knowing anything about it and made me a liar. So never again did I open up to her about anything. I think I never trusted anyone again after that, not even my father because he only found out about my bf by reading my diaries. That's the reason I feel that I'm emotionally bankrupted. I don't let anybody get close to me. I'm just afraid that my kids will eventually pay the price for that. I guess if my mother taught me anything, it is to make my children my priority, coz I never felt I was even in her radar.
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BrightasDay

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Re: What did your mom teach you about being a mother
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2013, 02:03:28 am »

Hello @anna marie...

Sabi sa nabasa ko dati, you can feel yourself being taken cared of, being "mothered", when you take care of your own kids. I hope by this time, you are in a better mindset.

My mom left us before pa ko nagkaisip. I learned mothering, literally and figuratively from my own mother in law.
Lumaki kasi ako sa lola ko, so spoiled ako nuon. Wala masyadong pangaral.

Natutunan ko sa king nanay in law to be conscientious, small details matter. Kasi dun mo nakikita yung caring.

Nung nabasa ko naman na you vowed to keep your kids a priority, you are more than equipped to be a mother, trust me.

We're grown up now, so in fairness to our parents, we can also see them as adults with flaws and insecurities of their own.

Nevertheless, your children are so lucky to have such an involved mother.  :)
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mariann

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Re: What did your mom teach you about being a mother
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2013, 09:31:21 pm »

i have learned the 'what not' and 'what to be' from my mother. 

she had been a full-time stay-at-home mom, i am a full-time working mom.  we were three siblings and i'm the only girl, while i have two daughters and another baby is on the way.

i have learned that i should value spending more time with my kids especially when they are big enough to remember what we have been doing together.  mama was cooking our lunch for school, yet she didn't have time to check us at lunch time.  hubby cooks our meals, but i go out of my office at noon just to have lunch with my girls at school.

i have learned that i should include my kids and listen to their inputs in every family endeavors, discussions, and decision-making process.  on our time, we were on the era that we have to follow our parents because they said so without even understanding why we have to do that. 

i have learned that i should not deprive my kids with their choices on clothes and foods and movies and music because it is their way of learning and coping. my papa was already a high-ranking marine officer when i was born.  money is not an issue, but i was made to wear hand-me-down clothes from my brother.  (boy to girl?!) sometimes, i'd love to burn all those pictures of me wearing a boys pants or long skirts (like that of a teleserye princesses being maltreated) and a polo shirt on top.  yuck! besides, i'm working.  that's one purpose of earning money ~ to dress up my kids better.

i have learned that i am just there to guide them and not to manipulate them.  it's my God-given role.  my children were entrusted to me to be molded into better citizens, but not to control everything in their lives.  i believe that with proper guidance, constant communication, and spending quality time with them is enough to hone them into persons with the right attitude and good character.  on the other hand, my mother is a manipulative control freak!

but we're good.  they say the best fights are those between mothers and daughters.  hehe

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Mommy Jazz

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Re: What did your mom teach you about being a mother
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2018, 02:35:12 pm »

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