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Author Topic: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son  (Read 4235 times)

happyhearts017

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help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« on: December 21, 2012, 04:38:51 am »

Hi all,

I have a huge dilemma that I've been struggling for quite sometime now. Let me start by saying that I have a 4 year old daughter and a single mother. My uncle offered to help me by financing my studies and my daughter's needs basta pag naka grad ako and found a job, babayaran ko. So fast forward. I found a job but pay wasnt that big since fresh grad ako. May binabayaran pa ako na loan kaya konti lang yung naabot ko sa unlce ko na payment for all of his expenses sa child ko. medyo nag aaway na kami kasi once a week ko na nga lang makita si baby, minsan ayaw pa payagan dahil baka kung saan saan ko lang daw dalahin.

So ngayon lumayas ako sa uncle ko. naiwan si baby dahil gusto niya bayaran ko muna lahat ng nagastos niya n\bago niya ibalik. sabi ko lalo lalaki yung gastos dahill wala sila control sa pag gastos para kay baby. i appreciate naman that all they want is the best for my baby pero it is beyond my means na.

i need help. meron lang akong 20k on hand and mga 35k yata ang gusto pabayaran sakin. he was firm na hindi niya bibigay sakin yung daughter ko hanngang hindi ko nababayran ng buo. I need advise. thanks!
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happyhearts017

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2012, 05:52:46 am »

FYI lang po. I am not here for financial help. baka na-mis understood yung post ko. I just need advise of what to do. :) TIA
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ahyzeyuh

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2012, 07:04:24 am »

sis by law- they cant keep your kid pwedi makasuhan ang uncle mo ng kidnapping ata-
pero wag na sana umabot sa demandahan at harassment.
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happyhearts017

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2012, 08:13:30 am »

I know.. kaya lang sis hindi niya talaga ibibigay sakin yung daughter ko. Gusto ko sana mag consult sa women's desk just incase na ibayad ko yung money ko tapos di pa rin niya ibigay.
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xianne

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2012, 08:53:40 am »

try to lessen your pride sis.. makiusap ka sa uncle mo .. siguro iniisip niya na wala kang utang na loob after all ng tulong na binigay niya sa inyo eh lalayasan mo pa sia ng ganun.. sana sis dmo nalang sia nilayasan..oo nga na ikaw ang mom ng baby pero without him naman magssurvive ba kayo?diba? for sure he has a heart naman.. & he cared much sa anak mo kaya ganun sia.. . kung ano't ano man ang mangyari sis sa kamag anak pa din naman tayo lalapit diba? since mag papasko naman makipagbati ka nalang...  if ever lalabas kayo ni baby tapos ayaw ka payagan..lambingin mo nalang :) gusto lang siguro niya makasure na safe lagi baby mo.. diba?



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preciouslara

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2012, 03:12:19 pm »

naku sis, anak na yang pinag uusapan, kahit pa kamg anak ko yan or gaano pa kalaki utang na loob ko sa kanila, wala pa rin silang karapatan na pigilan kang makita ang anak mo...wag ka magbibigay ng money sa kanya ng walang nakakakitang iba, better do it sa baranggay or sa harap ng abogado..actually kahit pa may utang ka, hindi nila pdeng kunin anak mo sayo...seek for legal action sis, baka kasi mabrain wash nila anak mo and dumating yung time na ayaw na sumama ng anak mo sayo..do actions habang nandyan pa sila, mamaya bigla na lang sila umalis at itago anak mo lalo na kung napamahal na din sa kanila diba...sana hindi naman umabot sa ganun pero better to be sure sis, anak na kasi yan eh...
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xianne

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2012, 03:42:53 pm »

idaan mo muna sis sa mabuting usapan.. malay mo madaan naman sa maayos na usapan since mag kamag anak naman kayo diba?kausapin mo sia ng maayos..then pag ayaw pa din niya tell him na hihingi kana ng tulong sa women desk or other organization na makakatulong sayo para makuha yung anak mo.... im not telling you na hayaan mo na yung anak mo sa tito mo.. syempre nanay din ako at di ko din naman hahayaan mangyari un..ang sakin lang baka naman madaan pa sa magandang usapan... palipasin muna mga init ng ulo..
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2012, 06:41:12 pm »

There's a case same as yours I saw it on the news. Yung katulong nagkaanak, iniwan sa pamilya ng amo. Yung amo ang gumastos ng pangangailangan at nagpalaki. May utang din yung maid bago siya umalis. When the former maid came back to claim back her baby, ayaw ibigay ng amo. Bayaran niya daw muna yung utang niya at lahat ng ginastos nila sa bata. The maid sought the help of the Barangay. In spite of the utang, walang right yung amo na i-hold ang bata dahil hindi nila anak yon.


I suggest you do the same, hindi para magpalaki ng gulo. Kaya nga  sila iimbitahan ng Barangay para mapagusapan doon in front of the authorities. Dun mo na rin sila bayaran. Better make a "kasulatan" which they will sign proving that they received the amount and that you intend to pay it in full.


By the way, you didn't mention about your parents. Buhay pa ba sila? What's their say about this? What about your relatives? Agree din ba sila sa decision ng uncle mo? Consider having a family meeting muna.
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happyhearts017

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2012, 12:58:15 am »

I really appreciate your replies.

First, sino ba naman ang taong ayaw maayos ang lahat sa mabuting usapan? Lalo na na they are family to me. Kaya lang hot tempered and Uncle ko. Konting galit lang, he hurts me pati ng wife niya, like sabunot and sampal to the max. Never ako lumaban sakanila because may respeto pa naman ako. Kaya ako umalis dahil ang sabi niya kung hindi ko nabayaran yung ginastos niya sa anak ko, papalaysin niya ako. ayoko ng eskandalo at ayoko masaktan.

Sis xianne, I am grateful sa lahat ng tulong nila at tumatanaw ako ng malaking utang na loob pero sa dami dami ng panunumbat nila sakin sa bawat sentimo na nagastos nila, sa pagod sa pag aalaga, baka may sukli pa ang pasasalamat ko sakanila.They were always the ones who initiated help kahit minsan ayoko na talaga dahil nga sa panunumbat at paniningil. ang perang nagastos, puwede bayaran pero hindi sana ang daughter ko ang collateral. ang tulong kung galing sa puso, hindi kailangan isumbat. hindi kailangan ng kapalit. wala na dapat issue ng utang na loob. Palipasin ang init ng ulo? sis, mag 2 years na nasa kanila ang anak ko. Ako pa ang kailangan dumalaw para makita siya. Ako pa ang kailangan makiusap para lang maka labas kami. Ako ang binibigyan nila ng restrictions.

Seeking for legal assistance doesnt mean that I want war between us. Gusto ko lang makasiguro that they wont hurt me physically and don't abuse me with words because I know I had enough .I want to get my daughter back.

Honestly, sobrang sama ng loob ko ngayon dahil unang una ayoko na gulo or eskandalo. Meron akong pinag aralan at may delikadesa. Oo, may mga panahong sumasagot ako tuwing sinusumbatan nila ako pero hindi ako lumaban or nagbalik ng mura sakanila. Natatakot ako dahil mayaman ang uncle ko. maraming puwede magawa ang pera niya kung gusto niya talaga makuha ang anak ko,
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mhaeyii

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2012, 07:13:04 pm »

side ko lang po ha - nakakainis naman uncle mo parang walang puso tsk okay lang tulungan ka at bayaran mo din kasi ginagamit pa yung anak mo :(
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xianne

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2012, 10:45:19 am »

OMG sis 2 yrs na pla? (hindi mo naman namention) i thought bago lang yung ngyari.. bakit mo naman pinaabot pa ng 2 yrs? tama si sis Mommyjazz.. patawag mo sila sa barangay para dun kayo magusap-usap...
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sweet&spice

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2012, 09:12:46 pm »

for clarification --- 2 years na nilang wini-withheld ang custody ng anak mo? 2 years ago na ba nila dinemand na you have to pay for all the things that they spent on you and your kid? if 2 years na --- mas malaki yung possibility that they are after to 'own' your child, and not give to you na.

better ask the help from the barangay, but better first, seek help from the PAO or the women's desk sa police station. mahirap din to talk to the barangay to fix a 'settlement' (wherein you pay and write the terms of payment, including the custody of your child), tapos you haven't consulted a lawyer. women's desk has a woman policeman, but she's not a lawyer. for something so sensitive, seek the advise of a professional, who could look at documents and give you an honest and professional opinion.

that being said, gather your evidence. yung birth certificate ng bata, tapos have you had medical proof of all the physical harm that you got from your uncle and his wife? not that you will raise these, pero for your protection, you should have evidence also, just in case, their money and influence could buy them their freedom.

if you live in a different barangay, complain where you live, para they will have to go there, and for you to get a 'neutral' place to hear your complaint, kapag sa kanila, biased yung barangay officials.  whatever they say, you have absolute and exclusive right over your child ---- just don't sign adoption papers, or other statements that would 'give' them custody.

but, before you do that, be financially ready. where will you put your child once you get her/him? who will look after her/him when you work? these are the things that you have to make provisions for as well. where will you live? hopefully, you have a willing friend/relative that could help you as well.
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annamariemomof3

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2013, 07:42:51 am »

Kahit pagbaliktarin pa natin ang mundo nasa iyo ang karapatan sa bata bilang Ina niya. But before you burn bridges siguro dapat Talaga daanin muna sa mabuting usapan. In my POV Baka naman Hindi Talaga pera ang dahilan ng lahat. If I put myself in your uncle's shoes siguro Hindi ko rin basta basta maibabalik yung bata kasi 4 years is a long time siyempre napamahal na rin sa kanila ang anak mo. Minsan kasi ang tao pag natatakot at nasasaktan sa galit idinadaanan. Maybe he just needs reassurance na Hindi mo naman ilalayo sa kanila yung bata. Maybe they just want what's best for him too.
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imiyeeyesiam

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Re: help: Relatives doesnt want to return my son
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2013, 08:29:14 pm »

Hello mommy happyhearts017 Musta kapo?nakuha mo na ba anak mo?
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