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Author Topic: Which surname to use?  (Read 16807 times)

KristineAra

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Which surname to use?
« on: February 10, 2013, 03:13:14 pm »

Im already on my 28th week of pregnancy as a single mom with my first child.  It has been a battle for me to decide if I should let my child carry the name of his father since we separated before my pregnancy was confirmed and is now with another woman.  Im not receiving the typical support a father gives to his child. Kailangan pang ako yung lumapit sa kanya kapag magpapasama ako mamili ng gamit ng baby namin, not to mention im not receiving financial support. However, Im still on the edge of hoping that we can fix things kasi kapag nag-uusap kami in person, it seemed like he is a different man na supportive sa pregnancy ko.  Nagbabago na lang kapag sa phone lang ako nakikipagusap, where my friends will tell me kasi kasama niya yung other woman dun.

Right now my dilemma is about naming my child. Which is easier, have him carry my surname and have it annotated if and only if we get married in the future, im still hoping kasi he tells me that he still thinks of the possiblity in the future,? or have him carry his father's name with me thinking of having it changed to my surname in the long run?

Likewise, how is it possible to have my child have his father's name on his birth cert but still use my surname?
« Last Edit: March 04, 2019, 09:04:43 pm by Mommy Jazz »
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mommyallora

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2013, 07:51:11 pm »

hi, pareho tayo medyo ng situation. i've became pregnant in the age of 17 and already a mother in the age of 18. 3months na ngayon si baby and since i'm pregnant wala akong napala sa tatay niya. humingi kami ng legal advice sa lawyer, tungkol sa financial support at sa surname nga. if gusto ko daw magfile, kailangan ko daw ng evidence na siya talaga yung tatay na nagpabadtrip sakin.nagtanong ako about sa surname, legal daw lahat kahit gamitin niya yung surname ko, walang magiging problema. except sa identity crisis na pwede niya harapin paglaki niya.

di naman sa inaadvice ko na gayahin mo yung ginawa kong move, pero nagdecide ako na wag na lang gawing mas complicated yung situation. ayoko kasi iinsist sa taong ayaw, ang kawawa yung baby ko if lalaki siya ganung environment. magiging illegitimate pa siya. i know darating yung time na maeexplain ko din lahat but for now uunahin ko muna lahat ng needs niya sa buhay.

i know it's a hard time, but God is good. and i know your a strong person. kaya mo yan:D
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appleliciousforever

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2013, 12:38:02 pm »

I am also a single parent... we broke up before ko malaman na buntis ako due to a third party...
He initially wanted to have the baby named after him pero hindi naman siya nagsign sa busy dahil naniwala siya dun sa babae na di kailangan yun... which is the most stupid thing I heard kasi its not possible dahil di nga kami kasal...

To make the long story short, my son and I have the same last name. Mas natuwa pa ang father ko since siya yung pinaka-apektado nung namalan niya na nabuntis ako.

Sa akin mas okay ito. What if makainpon ako at dalhin ko sa HK or SG yung baby ko, hahagilapin ko pa siya para lang magpapirma ng consent?

I-weigh mo kung saan ka mas panatag. Aanhin ng anak ang apelyido ng tatay niya kung ayaw naman nitong maging parte ng buhay nung bata.



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amielle

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2013, 10:28:55 am »

Since hindi naman sya ang nag-iinitiate at kailangang ikaw pa ang lumapit twing me kailangan ka, parang medyo maahirap umasa about sa future. Lalo din at me other party. Though syempre only you know what the real situation is.  For me, mas ok kung gamitin mo na lang surname mo.  I did, with my son.  Though now that he's already 9, ilang beses na niya nabanggit na sana daw pareho sila ng surname ng papa niya.  Ineexplain ko na lang na ang bata kahit sa mama or papa man ang surname, pwede din. 
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chienrou

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2013, 02:17:47 pm »

salamat po sa post na ito medyo nalilnawan ako..

I am 25 weeks preggy and iniisip kp din kung kanino ko dapat ipangalan yung baby ko..
tingin ko po mas okay kung huwag na natin ipagamit ang surname ng father nila kung ayaw naman diba? mas mahirap po kasi yun eh.. saka yun nga, what if may plan kayong mag abroad and hiwalay naman kayo ng father ng anak niyo, mahihirapan lang po kayong umalis na bansa..
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licious10

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2013, 07:23:35 pm »

hello :) im not a single parent pero napagdaanan ko din ang dilemma mo sis,nainis ako sa bf ko kasi naman,umabot na ng 5mos un tiyan ko eh di pa alam ng family namin,ang masakit pa dun,nalaman ng family niya na preggy ako sa ibang tao pa at d sakanya,nagalit ako at aun nga,ayoko din sana ipangalan sakanya baby ko,as time goes by,before ako manganak,naging ok naman bf ko sakin,financially..pero were ok din naman,nun nanganak nako,di inaasahang naospital baby ko coz of uti,aun kailangan talaga na ipangalan sakanya gawa ng philhealth..nagagampanan naman niya un pagiging tatay niya sa anak ko,so ayun,ok na din sakin na skanya nkapangalan,if i where in your situation,better pa ata na wag mo na ipangalan sakanya,bakit pa?eh di niya nga magampanan responsibilities niya,he doesn't deserve your child,kung ayaw wag,kaya nyo namang mabuhay ng wala siya o kahit di dala ng baby mo surname niya life will go on.kaya mo yan! =p
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mybabykaitlin

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2013, 03:07:12 pm »

hello po sa lahat. ako po kasi pinayagan ko na gamitin ng anak ko ang surname ng tatay niya kahit subrang sama ng ginawa dahil dalawa kami sabay na nabuntis niya. ayaw ko sana noong una kaya lang sabi karapatan daw ng bata na gamitin surname ng tatay niya talaga. kaya lang ngayon parang pinagsisisihan ko kasi simula ng ako ay mabuntis at hanggang ngayon na 1 year old na anak ko ay walang support na naibibigay... kahit na po baga sana pang diaper lang kasi ang reason daw ay napakaliit ng sahod niya at mas malaki daw sahod ko, isa pa ay wala work yung isa pang nabuntis niya. ( Ako po ang nag decide na hindi kami magpakasal dahil nawalan ako ng tiwala sa ginawa niya).
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simplem0m

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2013, 08:24:08 am »

In your situatuon right now, much better not to use surname ng father ng baby mo. He didnt bother nga to ask sayo if ipapa-panglan mo ba sa kanya? You have all the right since wala naman syang paki-alam sa inyo ni baby. Atleast hindi din magugulo ang isip ni baby when she/he grown up, na bakit magka-iba kayo ng surname, mahihirapan ka pa mag explain. Mas madali na siguro paltan ang surname ni baby if ok na kayo ng father niya. Or what if you found someone who is willing to marry you, mas madali ma-transfer ang surname niya, kasi no need na ang consent or signature ng father niya. Parang mas madali ang process kesa may father nga naka pirma sa birth cert. pero di naman pinaninindigan ang pagiging ama niya. But syempre, the decisions is still up to you.
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nikkimendoza

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2013, 09:10:15 am »

In your case, if he acknowledges your baby then go para may habol ka if di na siya nagsusupport.
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amieh

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2013, 12:22:46 pm »

kasi simula ng ako ay mabuntis at hanggang ngayon na 1 year old na anak ko ay walang support na naibibigay... kahit na po baga sana pang diaper lang kasi ang reason daw ay napakaliit ng sahod niya at mas malaki daw sahod ko, isa pa ay wala work yung isa pang nabuntis niya.

hay naku sis you can file a legal support for your child. if i were you make it legal para sure kang meron every month! hindi katwiran na mas malaki ang sweldo mo kaya hindi sya magbibigay at dun lang sya sa kabila magbibigay dahil wala yun work!! hindi mo na kasalanan yun noh! ang usapan dun eh anak nyo yun pareho kaya share kayo sa expenses nung bata! ano sya taga kalat lang ng lahi??!! haller! mag file ka sis, pwede ka humingi ng tulong PAO. better do it now sis, it's for your child and it's her right. pag hindi niya sinunod yung magiging kasulatan nyo sa PAO, automatic kulong sya at criminal case yun sis. ;)
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sweet_escape

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2013, 10:35:00 pm »

i decided not to use the father's surname for the simple reason that it will complicate things in the future.

if the father is unwilling to take responsibility at the time of your child's conception, do not chase... nothing will change. even after the child is born.... just take comfort in the fact that your baby is both a gift and a blessing. be self-sufficient and focus on taking care of yourself and your baby.

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mybabykaitlin

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2013, 03:10:49 pm »

sis amieh, Thank you. napapaisip na ako ngayon kasi tama sabi mo eh...
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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2013, 05:05:02 am »

In your case, if he acknowledges your baby then go para may habol ka if di na siya nagsusupport.

sorry po ha pero kung ako sa kanya wag na lang talaga, sa baby ko,nakapangalan sa ama pirmado niya kahit na ayoko na pero di naman nagsusuporta.anong use di ba?  :P
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happymemom

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2013, 09:21:17 am »

Hi there sis! POV ko lang, kung gusto niya talaga na i-acknowledge ang anak mo, hindi naman kailangan na sa kanya pa rin nakasurname. Nakaacknowledge ang tatay sa birth cert pero ang gamit na surname ay sau. Ganun ang nangyari sa akin. So in case na ikasal na kayo, madali na lang ang process para ichange ang surname ni baby at maging legitimate child. Though di gamit ni baby ang surname, kung naka-acknowledge si daddy, may habol ka for support.

Kung ayaw niya namang i-acknowledge, di mo siya mapipilit. Mahihirapan ka lang din na humingi ng support.
Sa mga support cases na nabasa ko, pahirapan lang din ang paghingi ng support. Di rin naman kasi ganun kahigpit ang batas na ito.

So kung ako sayo, ipaacknowledge mo si daddy pero ang surname ay sayo.

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baby chloe

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Re: Which surname to use?
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2013, 07:06:44 am »

naku mga  sis here's some practical advice Lang. if di naman well-to-do ang guy na pwede magpamana ng limpak limpak na pera, lalo na if wala naman stable job, wag mo nalang ipa acknowledge. in my line of work I meet cases like these everyday, and almost always the father refuses to give support. so Kung kaya mo naman buhayin ang anak mo at di naman ganun kayaman ang guy, might as well not force him to acknowledge the baby.  in case later on in life, you meet another guy who's willing to accept your baby, then it will be easier for you to adopt your kid after you get married. you won't need biological father's consent.

on the flipside, if biological daddy expresses eagerness to acknowledge, then go. your child also has the right to be acknowledged and to all the privileges and rights of an acknowledged child, although illegitimate. if biological father dies and leaves a hefty estate, may habol anak mo sa mana. hehe.
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