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Author Topic: Material Obsessions  (Read 3090 times)

MissPychi

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Material Obsessions
« on: March 05, 2013, 10:04:33 am »

Hubby is obsessed with branded BIG FACED (i really mean huge as in malaki) wrist watches.  He frequently looks in the internet and when he finds on he likes, hahanapin niya at bibilhin niya (kapag may 13th month or bonus siyang makukuha)

Anyone here has a hubby with an expensive hobby?  ;)  How do you tell him to control (or maybe stop) this kind of obsession?  Sana kung mayaman kayo, pwede pa siguro i-spoil niya sarili niya.  But what if your monthly income is just barely enough for your monthly expenses... sabi ko nga, why not just spend a vacation with his kids (3 sila) somewhere (hongkong?) at least the kids will cherish the memories... but his reply is hindi ko raw siya maintindihan, he wants something for himself na pinagpaguran niya... he always gets what he wants kasi... this time hindi ko na siya pinayagan.

Mali ba ako?
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MissPychi

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2013, 10:31:36 am »

By the way, since this is the first time I put my foot down and stood firm on my decision not to allow him to purchase, he seems to be in a "low" mood and he said he can't concentrate on his work thinking about a watch that he can't own...

... sbi ko nga parang withdrawal symptoms ng taong addicted to something... should I already give in?
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Mommy France

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2013, 01:18:32 pm »

I don't think mali ka sis. You just have to think of your family kasi like what you said, di naman overflowing na tipong ang pambili ay extra lang.

Kung mag-gi-give in ka, san kayo pupulutin?
Ako kasi ang baligtad sameng mag-asawa, ako yung nagsasabi sa asawa ko to buy things for himself. Minsan nalulungkot yun when he can't have the things that he wants, sino ba namang hindi, so what I do is I save for him.

Maybe you can do that for him. Save then pag may event, try to give him what he wants.
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2013, 01:13:19 pm »

I do think may prob sa part ni hubby mo. Kapag kasi ang isang bagay, kahit hindi naman masama, too much of it is bad di ba? In this case, it's his obsession. Kapag hindi siya maka function ng maayos sa regular routine or work niya because of this item, I see that as a problem. He feels he's not complete. I don't think it's because of the watch per se, but because of not attaining his desire. I'm not a psychiatrist to say more. Tama lang ginawa mo. It's a good start. This is what we call tough love. Sana you can get to talk to an expert para you can get a good advice like what else you are suppose to do, realization or lifestyle you can introduce, hindi lang yung withdrawal ng obsession niya.
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MissPychi

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2013, 12:56:02 pm »

Update....

as usual, he had it his way, nabili niya yung watch... after letting me feel his "depression" and trying to let me feel that I am depriving him of what he truly deserve... ano daw ba siya? under de saya?  Wala siyang right to enjoy the fruits of his labor?

sabi ko hindi mo rin naman yan ni-plano... if he has plans to buy, hindi rin niya nasabi sa akin before, kaya wala talaga sa plano, for my part.

feel ko tuloy ang sama-sama ko... kung bakit ko nagawa yun sa kanya...  ang galing niyang magpaikot.... kaya siguro bagay sa kanya ang work niya as SALES sa company nila....


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Mommy Jazz

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2013, 09:48:08 am »

^ I think nasa sa inyo po iyon kung magpapaapekto kayo. It's sad na hindi niya na realize yung point ninyo. One of our objective as a wife is to set a balance, support our husbands not necessarily sa bagay na gusto nila kundi sa kung ano ang makakabuti para sa kaniya na rin.
Maybe he needs more reassurance and approval. If he feels complete inside, he will not resort to material things or imagine he's "under". Drop this issue kasi tapos na. Bringing it up would be nagging. He will not realize it yet but maybe this incident can serve a purpose in the future. Let's continue to pray for ourselves and our husbands.
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smart.momi

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2013, 11:59:07 am »

My hubby really splurge on expensive hobbies when were still on bf-gf stage. Hinahayaan ko sya non kasi pera naman niya yun naisip ko. Then on the first year of our marriage, grabe as in tinatago pa niya ang mga branded shoes niya na nabili sa akin para lang hindi ako magalit. As if di ko makikita eh we are living in one roof db. Hanggang sa nabuntis ako. Hindi pa rin sya nagli-lie low kahit na paulit ulit kong sinasabi na we need to earn. Eh ang reason niya sa akin, yun nga he needs to reward himself daw. Pero kahit sino magsasabi too much naman kasi. Halos every week may new shoes niya. As in halos every week nagsho-shopping. Napagod ako sa kakasabi sa kanya. I said to myself i need to teach him a lesson.

Here's what I did. I keep money for myself. Nag-ipon ako. Pag lumalabas ako hindi ako nagsspend kahit piso. Hinahayaan ko sya magbayad pati expenses sa bahay. So nong nanganak ako, ang laki ng hospital bill. Hindi ako nagbigay kahit piso kahit gustong gusto ko sya tulungan. I told him he must learn his lesson, kung nakinig sya sa akin at nag-ipon for the future di sana sya nahirapan. From there, unti unti naglie-low sya hanggang sa ngayon. He already knows his priorities. Minsan ako na rin ang kusa bumibili for him kasi halos di na rin sya bumibili for himself. At kung bibili sya na hindi sinabi sa akin, i did the same thing.

Hindi naman sa nagdadamot ako pero i want my husband to understand and know his priorities. Kasi pag may sobra naman nabibili naman niya gusto niya.

On your part sis, usap kayo. Pag di nadaan sa usapan, try to teach him a lesson din.
Sila kasi ang padre de pamilya eh. Mahirap na sila mismo hindi natutupad ang responsibilidad nila. Dapat malaman nila na may pamilya na sila na dapat isipin at hindi lamang ang sarili nila:)

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MissPychi

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Re: Material Obsessions
« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2013, 04:06:53 pm »

...lahat na nga ata ng "lessons" na "teach" ko na sa kanya...  :-\ 

...last Father's day, I bought him a "cheap" watch... BOARDWALK lang siya... around P600.  Kahit cheap he was very happy to receive it... kasi mukhang "expensive" watch daw...

...BUT, he is again, looking around watch stores for another NEW watch, which he again found on-line/internet.

... pag iipunan DAW niya ito... I "nag" him na baka hindi niya nabasa yung "list of expeditures" na binigay ko... I list  down those expenses na galing sa sweldo ko binabayad... to let him see, how much nalang natitira every time.... (my expenses are more or less fixed per month, mga nangagaling sa sweldo niya naman are those that are not... a.k.a. Credit Card expenses na hindi ko kayaing i-control, kasi siya rin naman ang gumagamit madala ng CCard, freely pa....)

Haays! I DON'T THINK HE STILL GETS IT.   :(

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