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Author Topic: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?  (Read 5419 times)

smart.momi

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Hi Mommies,

Just want to know your secret lang on how to make your child obey you without bribing anything or even threatening them? I have my 3yr old daughter and it's always a battle how to make No to Yes ng walang bribe or di kaya kelangan pa sya takutin.

I hope to know your inputs baka pwede ko ma-apply in my current situation:)

Thank you.

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« Last Edit: October 25, 2018, 10:40:43 pm by Mommy Jazz »
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liams mom

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Re: How make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2013, 02:46:01 pm »

Hi Sis smart.momi,

For my 5 year old, ang ginagawa ko, ita-try ko siya paupuin sa tabi ko (which is also a challenge, itself) at pag nagawa ko na yun, makikipag kuwentuhan ako sa kanya ng mga bagay na interesting for him. Kasama na dun yung yakap yakap at kiss. Yun bang malilibang talaga siya. Tapos sasabihin ko na sa kanya yung mga gusto kong gawin niya. That time, kalmado siya so mag ye yes na siya nun. Pero mga simple lang yun like be quiet sa church, kain ng maayos, etc.

Pagdating ni Daddy niya, ikukuwento ko sa dad niya yung pinag usapan namin tapos ipapa confirm ko sa kanya yung mga pinagkuwentuhan namin at yung mga pinapagawa ko sa kanya.

Siguro mga 50-75% ang success rate nun, pero ok na rin kesa walang effect di ba? hehe.. :)
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preciouslara

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Re: How make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2013, 02:04:35 am »

@smart.momi, naku sis, same lang tayo, ganyan din daughter ko,she's turning 3 on sept...medyo matigas din ulo, super hirap utuin, kelangan laging may kapalit, depende sa mood niya, minsan madali naman utusan, pero minsan hindi mo talaga mapilit kahit anong pang uuto...i told her to clean her mess na and put her toys sa box, she just answer me, im tired mommy...minsan naman sumusunod din, siguro dadamputin niya yung 2-3 toys niya na nakakalat and yung iba, iwan na,sasabihin na niya,mommy you help me na...sometimes nakakaamaze na din ang smart ng mga bata ngayon kasi meron na silang katwiran para sa actions na ginagawa nila...
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smart.momi

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Re: How make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2013, 08:51:49 am »

sis preciouslara, the same with me rin. Mommy i'm tired and mommy help me ganun lagi. Being a short tempered person pinipilit ko talaga habaan ang pasensya ko. My husband is constantly reminding me that. Lalo na before she going to school ang haba pa ng pasakalye bago maligo.Thing is, di namin sya pwede pagalitan kasi na araw araw na lang ganun kasi it affects how she behave in school. Lagi ko na lang iniisip these too shall pass..

Kaya lang grabe kadalasan talaga she needs bribe. At ito pa pag  may bribe ang demanding pa. hays.
Minsan kelangan din takutin pero parang minsan di na rin umuubra to.

I really dont know how to wean her from bribing. I'm really worried na baka mahirapan na kami later on matanggal sa kanya to..
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Tiger Lily

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2013, 02:51:27 pm »

^sis smart.momi, in what other situation do you find your daughter having a hard time obeying?

In my case, my child is also very makulit at malikot --- as in sobra. Hindi siya nakukuha sa "Anak, wag kang takbo ng takbo, madadapa ka", "Anak, don't go upstairs alone, baka ma-miss mo yung step", etc. It seems that my child doesn't hear me.

So what I did, I followed my friend's advice and fortunately, as for my kid, it worked! Instead of using the word "Huwag" or "No" or "Don't" ang sinasabi ko every time di na naman siya maawat kakatakbo "Sige tumakbo ka pa.. nakahanda na yung alcohol" bigla hihinto ang anak ko.. tapos sasagot siya "Hindi na nga po.." effective naman so far.  ;D Pero parang nananakot din  ;D But I find the style helpful instead of me saying "Huwag" for like 5x.

Aside from that reverse psychology effect, I also bought a set of kiddie stamp na katulad ng ginagamit ng mga teachers sa school. Everytime na may good deed ang anak ko like just for simply not forgetting to use "po" and "opo", for returning the toys used, for finishing his homework, nilalagyan ko sya ng "star" sa kamay. At ang effect naman non, dahil may star siya, ime-maintain niya yung pagiging "very good" niya.
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smart.momi

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2013, 03:27:04 pm »

sis Tiger Lily, thanks for the inputs. I like the reverse psychology and kiddie stamp thing. I will apply this to our situation ngayon. :)

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violet.crumble

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2013, 12:52:30 am »

haha!  ginagawa ko rin yang reverse psychology.  and yes, it works.

minsan din i try to see what's keeping him pre-occupied at di niya ko masunod.  then i talk to him na related sa ginagawa niya.  like if he's playing with cars, i say, "Mr Race Car Driver, you need to gas up" if i want to call him to eat na. 

mahilig din kasi sya mag-pretend.  so sometimes he's Optimus prime.  Sometimes he's Geo (Team Umizoomi), Minsan he's Mike the Knight. At kung sino-sino pa.  So I call him by that character tapos related dun yung ipapagawa ko.  Like, "Optimus Prime you need to charge your batteries"  if i want him to take a nap.  O kaya. "Mike the Knight, it's time to be a knight and do it right.  your mission is to pack-away your toys." 

Minsan naman it works if i make my utos into a song.  "Take, take, take a bath.  Take a bath right now.  Dont forget, dont forget, dont forget, dont forget.  Brush your teeth as well!"

Minsan i also make it a learning game.  LIke if i want him to pack away his toys, i say, "Simon says, put the yellow blocks in the box".

But yes, sometimes it is easier to just yell and scream.  ::)
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preciouslara

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2013, 03:28:21 pm »

il try din yung sinabi ni sis Tiger Lily, hopefully magwork din siya sa daughter ko,...
@smart.momi, naku sis, same na same situation pala tayo sa anak natin, yung sakin is mag 3 pa lang, naku tntry ko talaga makakaya ko para habaan pasensiya ko, minsan naiiyak na lang ako sa inis kasi sobrang maiksi lang din talaga pasensya ko ...somedays madali siya pasunurin but most of the time, grabe talaga, ayaw niya din sa ibang kids, naspoiled din kasi namin masyado kaya yun,feeling niya kakompetensiya niya yung ibang bata...mas ok siya sa bigger kids basta not younger than her, kaya nga instead of nursery,sa kinder 1 siya sinama kasi nga ayaw niya yung mga ka age niya, nakakasabay naman siya, pero problem pa rin minsan yung pagiging spoiled niya, kasi lahat ng things sa school, gusto niya sa kanya...hay...lagi ko na lang sinasabi, sige we'll buy like that pag uwi,ganun etc...para lang tumigil,grabe pa naman pag sinumpong ng tantrums niya....
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laneyval

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2013, 02:54:22 pm »

Sis yung 3 year old daughter ko dati pasaway din. Lagi ko nasisigawan at napapalo sa hand lang naman. Nung nagstart sya mag-go to school, sangkatutak din ang binigay nyang sakit ng ulo sakin. Nung first week of class nanulak sya ng classmate, nangagat ng classmate at nanulak ng pinsan sa may hagdan buti nong hnd napilayan yung pinsan niya, namaga lang yung arm. Nung time na yun lagi ko sya nasisigawan, napapagalitan at napapalo sa kamay. Bigla na lang naisip ko isang araw na ibahin ang strategy ko. Pansin ko kasi na hilig niya ako gayahin. Kung ano tone ng voice ko ganun din sya. Kung ano mood ko ganun din ang mood niya. Kung pinalo ko sya sa kamay, papaluin din ako. Ginawa ko naging mahinahon ako. Pag may ginawa syang hnd maganda sa ibang tao, hnd muna ako nagagalit. Mahinahon kong sinasabi na mali yung ginawa niya. Pag may ginawa syang mabuti naman sa ibang tao, kinocompliment ko na good girl sya and happy si mommy. sabi ko pag bad girl sya sad si mommy. For a week sinubukan ko icontrol temper ko and naging effective naman kasi naging behave sya sa school (pero may times pa din na malikot at makulit). pag ayaw nyang sumunod sakin sinasabi ko gusto mo angry si mommy? Pag pasaway pa din sasabihin ko, sige angry na si mommy.  Minsan minsan lang talaga ako magalit kaya kapag galit na ako or nagpapanggap na galit, takot na sya. Ayaw niya ako magalit. Magsosorry sya agad pag nagalit ako. Nung june ako nagstart and until now madali na syang pasunurin unlike before. Talagang masasabi ko na ang laki ng pagbabago niya ngayon. Good girl na sya yun nga lang malikot at makulit at madaldal hehe
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laneyval

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2013, 03:10:23 pm »

Sis tigerlily, ganyan din ako sa anak ko. Tulad na lang kahapon. Tinetrain ko kasi sya wag sa bottle uminom ng milk at sa cup na. May reward kasi sya sa december kapag naaccomplish niya na cup sya lagi iinom. Ayun kahapon nagngangawa kasi gusto nyang bottle sya uminom ng milk. Kaya sabi ko: o sige sa bottle ka na uminom ng milk para sa december wala ka ng christmas present. Ayun, umatras at sa cup na daw sya. May times na ayaw pang maligo before going to school. Sasabihin ko: sige wag ka nang maligo ah para maamoy ka ng classmates mo na mabaho ka. Lahat sila nagtake a bath before going to school. Kaya totoo nga na magandang reverse psychology ang bata. :)
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mommy_tl

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2013, 12:18:27 pm »

Parang narelieve ako knowing my son is not the only one like that.. he is turning 3 on February and he cries and throws things kapag hindi nakukuha ang gusto niya.. we spank him (using a rod specifically for him) and he calms down..maya2x ganun ulet..

he is very hyperactive so i bought him toys para malabas niya yung energy niya - we bought a bike, a slide and a trampoline.

It is also better if you will know what will calm him down or make him stay still for a long time (10mins is already a long time for us). We made him a sensory bin with raw rice, pasta, beans, etc tas andun lang sya..amazing.
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: How to make our kids obey us without bribing of threatening them?
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2018, 10:11:53 pm »

This Mom Has One Clever Solution to Get Her Three Sons to Do Chores

Read about it on Smart Parenting. Click this link:
https://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/real-parenting/clever-solution-the-mommy-store-box-with-a-lid-chores-a1746-20180609?ref=parentchat

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