Hi mommies. I just want to share an experience on disciplining my child. I’m just a concerned mommy. I have been noticing a lot of kids who get out of control in school, and fear that they might cause desperation to someone else someday, including their own parents. I want to share my story to let you know that I never thought I could turn my irritable, stubborn child into a cheerful and understanding one. It took a lot of patience and constant communication for that to happen.
My daughter started as a really short-tempered baby. She’s the type who doesn’t stop crying until she gets what she wants. I’m not kidding. She was almost always crying all day. I seeked a lot of advice about these types of babies. They told me to just carry her, just give in to her needs and wants, and wait until she’s 2 years old, when she’s old enough to communicate and understand.
So when my daughter turned 2, she was still the stubborn and spoiled kid who makes tantrums and cries a lot in public. That’s when my husband and I started to talk to her seriously, like she’s not a baby. Although she was a late talker, we continued to talk to her. We talked to her on mealtime, before going to bed, we played with her, taught her new things every day, until she learned how to speak. We never got tired of talking to her. Best of all, we taught her to obey what we say. We never heed into her wants without letting her know what she’s doing. We never ever hurt her in any way. Just words. Just communication. When she is not allowed to do something, we would always tell her WHY.
One time, when she was turning 4, we were eating in KFC. Out of nowhere, she asked for a scooter for her birthday. Maybe because of Special Agent Oso who taught a girl how to ride a scooter. My daughter cried and begged us “I want a scooter!” I waited for her to cry for a few minutes before I asked her “Do you see the kids on the streets walking bare feet? And they couldn't eat because they don’t have money to buy food. You have nice shoes. You are eating good food. You should be thankful that you have what they don’t have. You should not be sad that you don’t have a scooter.” Then she stopped crying and said “Ok po.” I was actually amazed that she did. That moment, I realized that children that age already have an understanding. All we have to do is tell them WHY. And they will understand. Maybe not on the first time, but if we have the patience to tell them every day what they need to know, they will soon figure things out by themselves.
I remember when I was a kid. I remember my parents scolding at me, beating me with slippers or sticks. They never told me what I did wrong. They never told me why I should and should not do things. All they did was ask me “Bakit mo ginawa yan?” Why I broke a glass, I don’t know. Because it slipped out of my hands? “Why were you not able to do as I told you?” I don’t know. Maybe there’s nobody to teach me how? There were things I cannot answer as a child, but there were things I could have understood, but nobody talked to me. I didn’t even remember them asking me how my day turned out in school. How can I tell them my problems?
Now, my daughter is 4 years old. She tells us what she has been doing in school, without us even starting to ask her. She tells us how she feels about her classmates, how she got stars on her papers, and we also continue to receive good feedback from her teachers. We’re hoping that because we started reaching out to her early, she would always be open to us about everything, including problems about bullying, which is one of the major concerns of parents. If we could teach our children how to listen to us, and how to talk to us, I think this is one big step to prevent bullying and getting bullied.
