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Author Topic: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid  (Read 5985 times)

lifeisbeautiful

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Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« on: September 19, 2013, 01:38:18 pm »

Hi mommies. I just want to share an experience on disciplining my child. I’m just a concerned mommy. I have been noticing a lot of kids who get out of control in school, and fear that they might cause desperation to someone else someday, including their own parents. I want to share my story to let you know that I never thought I could turn my irritable, stubborn child into a cheerful and understanding one. It took a lot of patience and constant communication for that to happen.

My daughter started as a really short-tempered baby. She’s the type who doesn’t stop crying until she gets what she wants. I’m not kidding. She was almost always crying all day. I seeked a lot of advice about these types of babies. They told me to just carry her, just give in to her needs and wants, and wait until she’s 2 years old, when she’s old enough to communicate and understand.

So when my daughter turned 2, she was still the stubborn and spoiled kid who makes tantrums and cries a lot in public. That’s when my husband and I started to talk to her seriously, like she’s not a baby. Although she was a late talker, we continued to talk to her. We talked to her on mealtime, before going to bed, we played with her, taught her new things every day, until she learned how to speak. We never got tired of talking to her. Best of all, we taught her to obey what we say. We never heed into her wants without letting her know what she’s doing. We never ever hurt her in any way. Just words. Just communication. When she is not allowed to do something, we would always tell her WHY.

One time, when she was turning 4, we were eating in KFC. Out of nowhere, she asked for a scooter for her birthday. Maybe because of Special Agent Oso who taught a girl how to ride a scooter. My daughter cried and begged us “I want a scooter!” I waited for her to cry for a few minutes before I asked her “Do you see the kids on the streets walking bare feet? And they couldn't eat because they don’t have money to buy food. You have nice shoes. You are eating good food. You should be thankful that you have what they don’t have. You should not be sad that you don’t have a scooter.” Then she stopped crying and said “Ok po.” I was actually amazed that she did. That moment, I realized that children that age already have an understanding. All we have to do is tell them WHY. And they will understand. Maybe not on the first time, but if we have the patience to tell them every day what they need to know, they will soon figure things out by themselves.

I remember when I was a kid. I remember my parents scolding at me, beating me with slippers or sticks. They never told me what I did wrong. They never told me why I should and should not do things. All they did was ask me “Bakit mo ginawa yan?” Why I broke a glass, I don’t know. Because it slipped out of my hands? “Why were you not able to do as I told you?” I don’t know. Maybe there’s nobody to teach me how? There were things I cannot answer as a child, but there were things I could have understood, but nobody talked to me. I didn’t even remember them asking me how my day turned out in school. How can I tell them my problems?

Now, my daughter is 4 years old. She tells us what she has been doing in school, without us even starting to ask her. She tells us how she feels about her classmates, how she got stars on her papers, and we also continue to receive good feedback from her teachers. We’re hoping that because we started reaching out to her early, she would always be open to us about everything, including problems about bullying, which is one of the major concerns of parents. If we could teach our children how to listen to us, and how to talk to us, I think this is one big step to prevent bullying and getting bullied.  :)
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mommy_shark

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2014, 03:36:27 pm »

Thank you for sharing this mommy lifeisbeautiful.  :) i have a 2 1/2 year old daughter na madalas matigas ang ulo. She doesn't follow me most of the time. Even yung simple commands like making her pick-up the toys she threw parang wala siyang naririnig. Pero my husband talks to her and she only listens kapag alam niya na galit na kami. Siguro may fault din ako kasi na spoil ko rin siya. Hindi ko siya pinapalo pero nasisigawan ko siya kapag hindi siya sumusunod. I try my best talaga na pagpasensyahan siya. Siguro kailangan lang namin kausap siya parati sincerely and pagsabihan even if hindi siya nagtatantrums. :)
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luk_resha

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2014, 09:19:09 am »

good thing you shared this one sis, wow its awesome! i had it printed para ipabasa kay hubby tonight :)

we have a 3y/o daughter na medyo pasaway din, she only listens to us if she see na talagang galit na kami ng dad niya, but doing so we are always the losing one in the end because we are being haunted nung guilt feeling na napagtaasan sya ng boses to think na bata lang sya and we as parents should be the one adjusting, things like that. but infairness to our daughter at the end of the day as she recite her prayer at night umiiyak din talaga sya pag nag so-sorry sya kay God how she misbehave the entire day.

hopefully we could do this one right like you do, so thank you in advance sis :)
« Last Edit: January 09, 2014, 09:22:30 am by luk_resha »
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irenek

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2014, 04:07:16 am »

thank you for sharing your beautiful experience with your child. I think I will try to do this. My toddler is 19 months. Very smart but quite passionate. She is a very active kid. Sometimes she follows, sometimes she doesn't.   It is a good idea to talk to her and explain to her why than just say No.  I think she would really benefit more from that! Thanks again.
 
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patricianserena

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2014, 07:20:14 pm »

Thanks for sharing your thoughts lifeisbeautiful. My toddler is turning 2 next week, and she's also very stubborn. She's also a late talker but like what you guys do, we also talk to our toddler and we also explain things to her. She listens to us but some times, she's still throwing tantrums. So I guess, we just need to have more patience with her and to continue talking to her. :)
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lifeisbeautiful

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2014, 12:49:03 pm »

Wow, I am very glad that other mommies have read and appreciated my post.  :D
Good luck to every one of us.  ;)
Parenting is really a skill we need to keep on developing. :)

I read recently from FB, parang it goes like "Parents should not give children what they want, instead, what they need to learn." :) Something like that.
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mommynigabby

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2014, 07:53:00 am »

mommy @lifeisbeautiful what you said inspired me. sana magawa ko rin yan...

nina_kay

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2014, 11:39:20 am »

my son as well meron siyang mga  times na ang hirap sabihan meron naman na isang word pa lang gagawin na niya... Pero true na never get tired of talking to your kids listening to them pag nagsasalita sila. make sure that when they talk nakikinig kayo sa kanila kasi nag kakaron nang understanding between the two of you na nagiging tame ang ang ating mga babies.
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yphuishee

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Re: Just Sharing: From Short-Tempered to Cheerful Kid
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2014, 04:55:58 pm »

Hi mummy,

Thank you for sharing this experience.

My 20mo son, who babbles and only says papa and mama, got me abit worried, as he's just like how you describe your daughter to be.

I started a week ago, talking and reading to him more (I've probably resulted more to TV before this, thus less interaction with humans), so I hope he will react more soon.

Just few days after I started reading to him, one day, he pointed to a picture of a sheep and when I said to him "baa baa sheep"...he smiled. I hope he could relate to it.

Although he cant speak yet, he shows it to my family via his actions.
I hope to prove the paeds wrong that he needs to see a speech therapist for now.

:)
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