Parent Chat

Advanced search  

News:


Don't forget to check your email verification from info@smartparenting.com.ph

Pages: 1 ... 5 6 [7]

Author Topic: will you let your child know her dad?  (Read 30506 times)

toughmom moderator

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1155
    • View Profile
Re: will you let your child know her dad?
« Reply #90 on: September 27, 2013, 12:58:07 am »

What’s the best way a single parent can respond to a child who is looking for the other parent?
Single Parents: Alone But not Lonely

http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/single-parents-alone-but-not-lonely
Logged

Pilyong Husband

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 3
    • View Profile
Re: will you let your child know her dad?
« Reply #91 on: October 01, 2013, 01:32:59 am »

my take on this... never deprive your child of the truth and NEVER ever share your "hate" for the father to your child. otherwise, they will just nurture the hate that you imbedded in their minds.

If you child asks or wants to meet their father, let them. You're relationship with the dad may have ended but his relationship with your child may be different.

I grew up without my dad, and my mom is separated, but it well explained to me why they didn't work out. Your children deserves to know.
Logged

sweet&spice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 987
    • View Profile
Re: will you let your child know her dad?
« Reply #92 on: October 08, 2013, 02:33:11 pm »

My take on this is conditional.

I just talked with a family counsellor (and soon will be attending a healing retreat for broken homes), and she said that introducing the father at this stage, might do more harm than good, because he will be broken hearted with the current actuations of the father. He is distant, disinterested and irresponsible. Don't get me wrong, I have tried my absolute best for my son and his father to have a relationship, but it is the dad, who is indifferent to his own chlild.

In case the dad is like the one I depicted, counsellor said, it is important to just surround the child, with a good mentor/male role model to look up to, rather than 'force' the child to see and be with a father that would do more harm than good.

If the child is interested, and the father is interested.
Logged
When happiness is at the horizon, seize it, call out to it. Claim and decide that it's yours!

SheIsErika

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 78
    • View Profile
Re: will you let your child know her dad?
« Reply #93 on: October 08, 2013, 02:41:10 pm »

I'd been thinking of this. My son is 2years old now and eventually I know he will look for his dad. Since, no effort from his dad, I don't think its good to introduce my son to him. For them to know each other, I think the father has to do the first move. Hindi ko naman ipagkakait sa kanya but since he's not doing anything and from the very start wala talaga sya ginawa no reason for me para ipakilala sya sa anak ko. Pag hinanap sya ng baby ko, I will explain to my child na lang the situation. Good thing very close ang baby ko sa father ko kaya may male figure.
Logged
I can never forgive you. You made a fool of me. But you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess I owe you something for that.

sweet&spice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 987
    • View Profile
Re: will you let your child know her dad?
« Reply #94 on: October 08, 2013, 05:43:00 pm »

@ sheiserika: just pray and God will give you the opportunity to meet the father without any effort on your part, basta ang alam mo, before you parted ways, you did your absolute best to make peace or to exhaust everything to give up. pray for that perfect time for you to see again, kasi kung by your own efforts and initiative, masasaktan ka lang para sa anak mo. if he's interested, he would've have found ways to contact you. kung gusto, maraming paraan, kung ayaw, maraming dahilan.

kudos for having a great lolo.
Logged
When happiness is at the horizon, seize it, call out to it. Claim and decide that it's yours!

SheIsErika

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 78
    • View Profile
Re: will you let your child know her dad?
« Reply #95 on: October 09, 2013, 09:53:38 am »

@sweet&spice - thanks sis. yan nga rin sabi ng father ko, 2years na ang baby ko but still walang paramdam si ex. kung gusto maraming paraan, kung ayaw maraming dahilan. besides di naman siya mahihirapang hanapin kami dahil di naman kami nagtatago, although ang baby ko nasa province, sa pampnga lang naman at ako eh nandito lang sa QC. and ayaw na rin ng father ko, sobrang masama ang loob niya kay ex kaya ayoko na rin. tama ba ko? iniisip ko kasi since ayaw na ng family ko na magkaroon kami ng contact kahit para sa bata lang kaya ayoko na rin. naisip ko kasi pano kung bigla mawala nanaman siya siyempre ang tatakbuhan ko lang naman eh ang family ko. nakakalungkot lang for my son, siyempre darating talaga ang time na maghahanap yun sana maintindihan niya ang sitwasyon.
Logged
I can never forgive you. You made a fool of me. But you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess I owe you something for that.
Pages: 1 ... 5 6 [7]