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Author Topic: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?  (Read 76601 times)

iloveubabyko

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Re: May sama ba kyo ng loob sa IL's nyo?
« Reply #75 on: May 10, 2011, 02:51:24 pm »

ako medyo nagtatampo lang sa MIL ko, medyo masama din ang loob ko sa SIL ko pero inis ako at masama talaga ang loob ko sa asawa ni SIL kc makapal ang mukha niya >:( . okay naman c MIL kaya lang kc parang favorite niya yung mga anak ng SIL ko. kc madalas na gustong magpakarga ng baby ko kay MIL kc minsan lang naman magkita c baby ko pati c MIL. parang kailangan munang di  na karga ni MIL yung mga kids ni SIL. kahit na kinakalabit na cia ni baby ko sasabihin ni  MIL"mamaya na lang apo ha kc karga ko pa c kuya eh". tapos kpag di na karga ni MIL yung mga kids ni SIL ska palang makakarga baby ko to think na sa knla na nakatira yung mga kids ni SIL kc ayaw mag-alaga ng asawa ni SIL :( para tuloy nanlilimos lang c baby ko ng atensyon ni MIL. hays!

yung asawa ni SIL ang sobrang insensitive, sobrang yabang and kala mo kung sino...may pinasukat c FIL sa asawa ni SIL na mga wires.tapos pinabili niya si FIL ang dami nyang pinabiling wire kay FIL.nagtanong c hubby ko kay FIL kung bakit andaming biniling wire ni FIL. aba dat nyt! nagtxt ang asawa ni SIL kay hubby ko na "bayaw ano bang problema mo ako graduate ako ng UP , 2nd pa sa liscensure exam eh ikaw blah, blah, blah! dami niya pang cnabing nkaka-degrade kay hubby. tnxt back nlang ni hubby na tulungan mo na lang sila dadi bka nagkamali lang ako . pero sige pa rin ang txt niya kay hubby ng di magaganda. buti nlang mabait talaga hubby ko kc di cia pinatulan pero ako ang nanggagalaiti sa galit..ang yabang ng asawa ng SIL ko eh! ala nmang trabaho palamunin lang ni SIL. nakakaasar nmang ito c SIL kc tinutolerate niya yung ugali ng asawa niya.kaasar! iniicp ko nga kung saan niya napulot yung asawa niya... >:( at the end andami nga nung wire na nabili tapos inuwi niya pa sa house nla ng di nagpapaalam kay FIL. nakakahiya cia!
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mendingmom

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Re: May sama ba kyo ng loob sa IL's nyo?
« Reply #76 on: May 12, 2011, 02:13:31 pm »


hi! I'm new to this site and I'm really glad kasi i found out di lang pala ako nag iisa sa mga problema ko.  :)
I'm living with my in-laws too since my husband is the only son and the eldest of two siblings kaya mas gusto ng asawa ko to live with his family. Actually, I don't know how I label my feelings towards my in-laws[specially my mom-in-law]. At first medyo di na maganda impression ko sa kanya. She has a very strong personality, matapang, at pwede ko rin masabi na mataray. At first, when my husband was still in abroad, we were ok somehow pero i can already sense that she wanted to lead our lives. When my husband decided to stay here for good because that was my suggestion too, that was already the time when my mom-in-law kept on blaming me. Na dapat daw makapag ipon pa kami. The reason why I decided that my husband had to give up working abroad kasi wala rin kaming mag asawa napapala. My husband is sending money to his mom but not to me. I didn't received/heared clear plans for us. So nung dumating dito yung asawa ko umpisa na problema ko. my mom-in law pays everything for us. electric, food, and water kahit may work na asawa ko. I told my husband to contribute but my mom-in-law refuses it. di ko alm kung mapride lang sya or she just wanted us to stay with them kaya she will provide everything. masarap pakinggan pero in my case ayoko kasi everything that we plan need mo ipaalam sa kanya. kahit pag momalling namin mag asawa. Even buying stuff for myself pinapansin niya. When me  & my husband planned to move out dahil my baby na kami ayaw niya at sabi she'll do everything para di kami aalis. right now, mas nahirapan ako kasi my apo na sya at lahat pinupuna sakin. I don't know how to deal with her.
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betelgeuse

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Hi sis, newbie din ako dito..were living with my inlaws. un MIL ko lang may attitude.. Mabait sya pag kaharap mo, pero pagtalikod, dami na kung ano ano sinasabi at ginagawang kwento. Were ok nun 1st year ko living wth them. Then, when our baby arrives eto na. Girl baby namin which she never had coz 2 boys anak niya. Shes pakialemera at atrabida when comes to my baby. But i stand firm para sa baby ko. Sabi nun nakakilala sa kanya, pag di ka daw niya  macontrol, ayaw niya sau. Nun una i always argue with my hubby coz dko naman maconfront c mil kahit gustong gusto ko sumagot. Eh he cant talk to her din kc nga may attitude na talaga. deadma na lang sa kung ano pa marinig ko. Hopefully, makabukod na kami next year. Kung ok naman sis how they treat u, wala naman siguro problem. Unless may mga backfight issues ka din. Hay sis mahirap talaga makisama sa ils, kelangan ng maraming patience..hehe
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toughmom moderator

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Re: May sama ba kyo ng loob sa IL's nyo?
« Reply #78 on: August 01, 2011, 11:50:48 pm »

How to Deal with In-laws who Overstep Boundaries
[img]http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/images/site-alpha/articles/being-a-parent/relationships/in-law_dilemma/mother-in-law-ci.jpg]/img]

What do you do when your in-laws still insist on treating your partner like a child?  How do you deal with them always being worried about their child being stressed or burdened by the day-to-day dealings of family life?  How do you cut the cord between a parent and her child that is being coddled too much?

Read more on this new SP article
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/mom-dad/relationships/how-to-deal-with-in-laws-who-overstep-boundaries
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alexismom

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Re: May sama ba kyo ng loob sa IL's nyo?
« Reply #79 on: August 02, 2011, 05:26:36 am »

I'm annoyed because my MIL thinks we're splurging our money just because we go out sometimes and buy our baby stuff. Pero pag nangangailangan relatives nila, magtetext bigla sa husband ko that his cousin needs money because the child is sick etc. Para bang masama to spend our money on simple pleasures pero pag sa relative niya dapat tulungan agad. Itong cousin pa ng husband ko wala man lang thank you kahit sa text.
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Mommy France

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@honeybabyme - You don't have to worry about your in-laws. I guess lahat naman tayo dumadating sa point na "trying to please" lalo na kapag new yung relationship sa in-laws.

Why did you assume na di ka nila gusto?
Is it because you're not getting your expected response from them?

Kasi I don't think reason enough yung sinasabi mo na you feel they don't like you kasi hindi well-off yung family like them. They paid for your wedding pa nga di ba? That means they are ready to accept you as part of their family.
Baka yung situation niyo lang yung di nila fully accepted. Don't get me wrong ha, kapag magulang ka kasi you wish for the best sa mga anak mo.

Little by little, get their respect. Makikita nila yan sa pagpapalaki mo sa apo nila and sa pag-aalaga mo sa anak nila.

Yung FIL ko mayaman, pero hiwalay sila ng MIL ko. When I got pregnant, FIL and his partido were advising my husband na hindi naman kailangan magpakasal. Still, kinasal kami ng asawa ko. Medyo late na pero nakahabol pa rin.
Everything we have, pambayad sa ospital, pambinyag, pam-birthday, samen lang galing talaga at pinaghirapan namen. Kaya medyo happy ako because I don't have to seek for their approval. I don't have to play nice para lang i-continue nila yung support nila for us. Wala naman kasing support in the first place.

Dumdating pa din ako sa point na "trying to please" kapag may gatherings. Pero yung trying to please eh yung part na may manners ako and I handle myself well.

Basta let them know na na-appreaciate ninyo yung support nila.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

Mommy France

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #81 on: August 02, 2011, 02:20:52 pm »

Yan talaga ang problem kapag dependent sa support ng magulang. They will have a say sa mga decision making ninyo. Better talaga kung makakabukod kayo. Kasi isa pang kailangan matutunan ninyong mag-asawa is kapag kayo ang hindi pareho ng decision and you have to decide together.

For the meantime, appreaciate them na lang. As long as love nila yung anak mo and pareho naman kayo na gustong maging maganda ang life ng anak mo, wag na lang palakihin yung issue.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

cosmic_mom

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #82 on: September 05, 2011, 06:18:07 pm »

in-laws? haaay! pero ganun talaga. kailangan tanggapin kasi minahal ko anak niya!
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startabby

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #83 on: September 06, 2011, 06:10:27 pm »


hay in-laws! bakit ba parang wala kayong pakielam sa amin? o kahit kay baby nalang? :-\
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ilovekendra

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #84 on: September 15, 2011, 12:22:47 am »


Mod's note:

message to be modified by author.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2011, 02:05:15 pm by toughmom »
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Mommy France

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #85 on: September 15, 2011, 08:48:35 am »

^^ Pasensya ka na sis... gusto kita bigyan ng advice kaso mahaba and mostly text speak.

Ano bang stand ng husband mo? Kasi ikaw yung napre-pressre sa relationship ninyong magbiyenan?
mag-decide kayo kung ano lang yung itutulong ninyo ang kailangan siya ang magsabe sa nanay niya hindi ikaw. Kung lahat ng emergency expenses ay sinasagot ninyo, then talagang makakaisip sila ng emergency. Unfortunately, hindi naman lahat ng in-laws ay nakakaluwag and some of them require help from their children.

Talk to your husband and siya ang kumausap sa biyenan mo.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

Mommy France

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #86 on: September 15, 2011, 11:09:40 am »

Testspeak is yung pag-type mo dito ay parang pag-type mo sa cellphone.
Kasi = KC
nahihiya - nhhya

:)

Ang kailangan ninyong pag-usapan is kung magbibigay kayo or hindi. HIndi naman kasi titigil yan and dapat ang mag-ayos ng issue is yung asawa mo. Kung magbibigay pa rin siya pag nakapag-abroad siya, know the boundaries and set the rules.
Hihingi at hihingi yan hanggat binibigyan.
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I am not perfect but I try my best to make the most of what God gave me.
Bad things may happen to me, but I will always come out of it with my head up high. Why? Because I know that I did the things I can control the right way. And the things I can't control, I leave it up to God's will.

ilovekendra

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #87 on: September 15, 2011, 11:42:00 am »

Yung BIL ko yung mag-aabroad mommy france. Ayoko na pag-abroad-in asawa ko dahil alam ko na mas hihingi ang byenan ko. Ngayon pa nga lang na dito pa lang sya sa pinas e. Nagusap na kami na last n ito,at kung hihingi na naman at sasabihin na kapos sila baka di na rin ako makapagtimpi. Anyway, natuloy ang pgpapahiram namin kay BIL ng money kaso 4000 na lang instead of lending him 10,000. Napag-usapan nila na sa mismong araw na lang ng flight niya dun ibigay ang pera,serves as his pocket money. E di okay na di ba? Alam mo sabi ng byenan ko, agad na lang daw ipadala  (mismong araw na magkatext and hubby ko at si BIL). Demanding! Tapos nung kinahapunan nagtext kuno ang byenan ko at humihingi ng pasensya sa mga nasabi niya. Di ko na sya nireplyan dahil twice na nangyari eh. Tapos kukumustahin niya mo raw ang apo niya. Then this week lang, nagtext sya ulit at nangungumusta. Ang sabi niya nakuta niya raw latest pictures ng baby ko at ang laki laki na raw. Ang ganda din daw ng walker niya. Sabi ko sa kanya, mother ko ang my bili noon kasi sabi ko kung kami lang e hindi namin afford ang ganun. Sabi niya nakahiya naman daw kasi sila walang maibigay sa anak ko. Sa isip isip ko, di ko naman inihihingi o binbigyan sila ng responsibilidad na may maibigay sila sa anak ko, basta ang sakin lang eh huwag na sila dumagdag sa intindihin namin. Utang niya nga sa nanay ko na 10,000 hinfi niya na nagawang bayaran e. Kaya sana mahiya naman siya.
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Tiger Lily

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #88 on: September 15, 2011, 11:58:32 am »

Reminder:

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To those concerned, please modify your post(s). To modify, please follow these
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ea_brea

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Re: Ever had conflicts or sama ng loob with in-laws? How did you manage it?
« Reply #89 on: September 15, 2011, 03:45:04 pm »

hi sis ilovekendra, grabe naman manghingi ng pera MIL mo. wala ba siya pinagkakakitaan? parang lahat ng pwede ihingi ng pera hinihingi niya.

buti pa nga ipakausap mo sa husband mo ang nanay niya. hindi naman pwede na hingi lang siya ng hingi dahil kayo din may pinagkakagastusan. akala niya namimitas lang kayo ng pera? you should be firm on your decision. pwede din na bigyan nyo na lang sya ng fixed amount every month para hindi niya din masabi na pinapabayaan nyo siya.
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