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[Katie]

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hi! Jakey, my panganay just turned 10 last week. Can you share some tips that I can use to make him a happy tween. hehe. kase i know that we're so pass the Barney Stage na and we're going close to the almost teen stage. i dont want to scare him ( or me ) hehe. Pls share. thanks!
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[shamefullyzen]

I don't really know exactly how but once a kid turns 10 or 7 or 6 or whenever they feel "grown up" they'll start demanding independence and sometimes break our hearts by saying that they're not our babies anymore XD

1.) concerning confidence - give them responsibilities to exercise their independence that they crave so much since they think they're "old enough". Praise, awknowledge, good work and correct mistakes - this will helpt them think that "they can do good things; bad things may happen but there's always a solution and that mom/dad will always be here to hear me out"

2.) concerning media/trust - watch cartoons/animes read books with them and share your thoughts, opinions etc. As a kid, even up to now I let my mom know what I've been reading/watching on my freewill - I wasn't secretive at all (as you all fear that your kids soon will be) its because we shared a special bond that we enjoy the things each individual enjoys - be it a violent vampire vs humans anime/manga, a how to draw book revealing some "parts" or a silly cartoon off nickelodeon. This will also earn the trust of your child and they'll open up to you a lot easier and it will also help you keep track of what's influencing them.

3.) concerning porn/sex - well...they'll see it sooner or later, you have a site blocker - well, they'll learn to hack it. They'll have sex eventually too - there's no avoiding that...oh and they'll mastur**** too btw. Yes, even young kids do it - even if it isn't the 21st century they still do it - its human nature. So as a parent - your responsibility is to teach them proper sex ed, what its for, who does it etc. This way they'll know better and won't be so gullible or easy to prey on.

that's my basic top three, if you need more help concerning specific topics, just gimme a ting-a-ling ^_^

[glory6james]

Great tips.It would be helpful to me in coming months.

[toughmom moderator]

A recent study shows that parents feel their kids are pressured to grow up quickly because of the influence of culture and society.

Read more on Are Kids Growing Up Too Fast?


http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/community/news/are-kids-growing-up-too-fast

[arlenemariedaniels]

Tweens are still kids no matter what they seem to be. They still need to be guided and taught the right way so that they won't turn into teen rebels who won't listen to their parents.

Here's a nice resource on how to get kids to listen to you WITHOUT the angsty fights in between: http://www.growingupchildren.com

[Mariel Arun]

My 9 year old refuses to be called 'baby' while we're in school, kasi raw di na siya baby, tweener na raw siya!

Oh my, kids grow fast talaga. I realized I have to loosen a bit of my hold of him so he'll have a freedom to experience a happy 'tweener stage'.

Now, he wants to choose his own style. He told me he's a fashionista  . Doesnt like to have anything to do with Spongebob, Elmo, Spiderman. His monthly staple now includes hair wax and cologne and prefers it from Bench TWEENER! He hopes that his school would install the students' locker inside the classrooms so he'll bring his Jansport (his current preference) bag not the big bag with wheels anymore...I'm expecting more of these in the future.

I am somewhat excited for him to experience this stage. Nung panahon ko kasi my mom was really strict, isa pa at the age of 9 parang baby pa ako nun (pigtails, hair ribbons, lace socks and stocking, lace dresses,..etc) I only fear that I might give in too much of his recent changes and preferences eh mawala ang values na gusto kong i-impart like simplicity. Buti nalang rin hubby is ever constant in reminding me.

Im sad too kasi, in a few blinks he'll turn into a teen and eventually into an adult. I cant imagine myself not preparing his baon anymore. 

Nevertheless, I'll still be glad to be on the sideways, and let him enjoy this stage. But mommy will ALWAYS be on the look out for 'violations' of or rules.

[tinandkate]

my daughter will be turning 10 and now she's always telling me about her crushes in school, she's making kwento everytime we chat. natutuwa ako kasi sobrang open niya sa akin pagdating sa mga boys, we make it sure na we have time for girl talk kasi mas mahirap naman kung maglilihiim siya at her very young age.  I always make it to a point na I gave all her needs for her hygiene kasi body conscious na din siya.  Marunong na nga mag diet kasi medyo chubby siya. 

[Katie]

Here's a nice resource on how to get kids to listen to you WITHOUT the angsty fights in between: http://www.growingupchildren.com

Hi mommy,

Thank you for this

[BrightasDay]

I can super relate to this! So far parang love hate relationship meron kami ng anak kong panganay. I'm scared that I'm doing a poor job of being a good role model sometimes with my style of parenting. Ayoko kasing lumaking loko - so I'm trying to be authoritarian... but ALAS, kids are smarter these days.

So far, what works:
Be CALM so that he'll stay calm.
As much as you can, BE PART of his world. Kung anong trip niya (basta mabuti naman) sakay ka. 

And the one advice that stuck to me while searching the net:
Keep Teens (also Tweens) Busy and Broke!
-Chores and Well earned rewards make for a happier kid, they say.

[chesa]

I'm also adjusting with my 11 year old son. He mostly wants to decide on his own, from the clothes to wear to hair style, gadgets, etc. Even with schedules on weekends, usually he already has a weekend plan of his own. So I also need to check his weekend plan if I want to bring him along. Usually, we compromise and I give him limits like if he wants to invite friends in the house, they can only play up to 6pm. Or if he already went to his friend's house last week, he can no longer go there this week. And one time he asked me if he could go malling with his friends. I allowed him but on the condition that I'll bring him there and will just wait for him to finish, then we'll go home together. So far, ok naman sha sa ganung setup.