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Author Topic: sibling rivalry  (Read 5366 times)

toughmom moderator

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sibling rivalry
« on: July 18, 2011, 01:56:14 am »

The possible root reasons, she says, “can be because of the birth of another sibling, when the focus and energy of the parents shift from the older child to the younger one.  It can also be due to favoritism, or when a child perceives the parents to be taking another sibling's side.”





Read more on how to deal with it.
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/home-living/homebase/love-thy-brother-love-thy-sister




What else can you share about sibling rivalry?
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mariann

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2011, 09:37:55 am »

to avoid sibling rivalry between our daughters, here's what we did:
 
during pregnancy:
we started to get our eldest involve with everything from coming with me to prenatal check-ups to buying things for her sister without failing to explain why we have to do this things.
 
due date:
we prepped with upcoming tasks/roles that she has to perform when her sister comes out like keeping quiet when her sister sleeps, fetching diapers, etc. and as usual we never fail to explain that babies need our care because they don't know how to speak.
 
post-natal:
twice a month, we take our eldest out on a date and leave the baby behind.  she may be with hubby or with me.  we make her feel that she is still important and loved.
 
that way, my eldest never felt envious of the new baby.  and as they grew old,  we spend equal quality time with the two of them.  when buying things, we don't believe that we have to buy the same toy for them, because kids have different preferences. so when we go out shopping, we lay out our budget and have them choose their own preferred toy.
 
there may be times that they wanted what the other have, so we taught them the value of sharing. 
 
sibling rivalry is not nil in every household, but we can control/prevent them with the values that we teach our children and by making them understand that each one is different but the love for them is just the same.
 
 
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mariann[move]

toughmom moderator

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2011, 07:54:55 am »

These tips can help you survive your kids’ squabbles.
The 10 Commandments of Dealing with Sibling Rivalry


http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/toddler/behavior/the-10-commandments-of-dealing-with-sibling-rivalry
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mommy irene

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2011, 02:25:14 pm »

this is just my POV, usually kasi sibling rivalry starts at home.. lalo na pag mahilig i-compare ang mga bata..

i have nieces kasi na halos magkaka edad/magkakasunod ang my mother usually compare them against each other, ako ang sumasaway sa kaniya/kanila.. sabi ko hindi dapat ganun kasi tumatatak sa isip ng mga bata yung mga weaknesses nila.. what i advised them is to tell the kids how each one of them is different from one another.. telling their strengths - kumbaga tell niece A, youre good at this, continue doing this youll go far.. then niece B, youre good at this too, strive more.. then i bring up what is best with them both.. at least naaalala nila na magaling sila and natutuwa ang parents, titos/titas, grannys nila..

i hate kasi comparison/ rivalry talaga.. ako dumaan di sa ganyan kasi classmate ko kuya ko primary years namin - advance kasi ako nag aral and since magkasama kami sa class, teachers usually compares us na mas magaling ako, na kesyo ganito ganyan ang kuya ko.. i really feel sorry for my kuya that time pero nawala din yun nung pinag hiwalay na kami ng class - morning si kuya, afternoon ako.. so far, until this age, nawala na yung comparison/rivalry namin..

i guess, nasa paligid din kasi yung kung bakit nagkakaron ng rivalry between siblings.. basta positve outlook lang then happy disposition and love for your siblings, maiiwasan din ito..

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miekee_18

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Sibling Rivalry
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2012, 01:31:31 pm »

Here's the Story according to my hubby:

Twins yung kids namin both girls, They are already in bed ready to sleep that night, My hubby in the middle of the twins, niyakap daw ni hubby yung isa.. then sleep na daw suddenly tinignan daw niya yung isa sa side niya nagulat daw siya umiiyak ng tahimik so ginawa niya niyakap din niya.. He told me, Baka daw nag seselos. Alam ko tama siya coz I also experience those things pag ako naman ang kasama ng kambal, There were also a time that I asked the selosa one "di mu ba love si ate diba friends kayu kasi kapatid mu siya, inaaway niya kasi dahil sa laruan.. I was shocked kasi ang sagot niya " Ayaw kapatid, di love.." 3years old na sila ngayun pero eversince may pagka agaw atensyon talag itong isa. I dont know pero may characteristic kasi yung isa na mas siya talaga yung nakakakuha ng atensyon ng mga tao. pero may times naman na yung atensyon namin andun sa isa hindi naman namin nakikita na nagseselos siya tulad ng nakikita namin dun sa isa..

hay:) momies do you also experience this? what do you usually do? kami kasi sa bahay sinabihan ko na sila especially my parents na masyadong fond dun sa isa na balance kami dapat sa kanilang dalawa especially sa atensyon kasi nga meron nga kaming isang batang masyadong attention seeker:) naintindihan naman nila.
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miekee_18

Anne Mercado

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2012, 10:51:31 pm »

I think that sibling rivalry happens when there is resentment. To avoid that, here are 6 things you can do:

1. apply rules to all kids (regardless of age)
2. acknowledge that each child grows at their own pace (not by standards)
3. let them figure out disagreements
4. Teach them it's okay not to share
5. Use we and us
6. Give quality time for each child

To read more go here: http://goo.gl/GFngc
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my take on parenting: http://greeneggsandmoms.com

annamariemomof3

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2013, 08:40:39 am »

Sibling rivalry is at a peak right now in our house. I have two year old twin boys and they are not willing to share anything and that includes mommy's attention. Kapag nakakandong yung isa sa akin the other one will punch him to get him off me. If I try to carry them both at the same time they will kick each other. Haaay I really hope this is just a phase for them. My oldest son naman told my mom that he is lacking attention na, nobody cares for him daw.
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2013, 04:41:40 pm »

Our Pedia said pabayaan lang daw pag nagaaway for as long na hindi nagsasakitan. They need to resolve the problem on their own and I have to be out of the picture for that to happen. Haaaay, good luck sa akin!
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Mommy Jazz

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Re: sibling rivalry
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2017, 10:08:40 pm »

Sibling rivalry problems at home? Try this:
5 Games to End Sibling Fights and Both Sides Feel Good Afterwards!

http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/big-kids/game-strategies-that-can-help-you-win-sibling-squabbles-a00041-20171004
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