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‘Yung Love Equal Yan, Pero Yung Attention Hindi Pareho’: Bianca Gonzalez Real Talk On Parenting Two Kids
PHOTO BY INSTAGRAM /IAMSUPERBIANCA
  • How do you balance the attention between your two kids?

    This was the question asked to TV Host and mom of two, Bianca Gonzalez, which she candidly answered in a recent vlog.

    She says that the change from becoming a mom of one to a mom of two was “so different, kasi from one little human being being your entire life, biglang dalawa na sila.

    So she did wonder at first how she could parent two. But now that her daughters Lucia and Carmen are older, six and three-years-old respectively, it’s an every day balancing act trying to make sure both girls get enough attention from their mom.

    “Yung love, equal yan. Pero yung attention, sa real talk, hindi pareho yan. Because they have very different needs, she says.

    School with Ate and play time with bunso

    Bianca recalls that when she had just given birth to Carmen and Lucia was already an independent toddler, it was easier to figure out who needed what. Meet the physical needs of the newborn and you’re okay and meet the emotional needs of the toddler and you’ll be fine.

    “But now that they are six and three, I really try to be more intentional, says Bianca.In the Intal household, that looks like Bianca spending her mornings assisting Lucia when she was doing online schooling and afternoons until evenings were for Carmen.

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    “I try to make sure if I spent the morning with my first born, yung hapon hanggang gabi, tututukan ko yung aking bunso.

    She adds, “Ayoko rin maramdaman nila na we are closer to one more than the other. We try to balance it. Hindi siya perfect every day, but it’s a constant juggling of making them both feel loved.

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    It’s a girl thing

    Another way Bianca ensures to meet both Lucia and Carmen’s needs is by spending time all together.

    “I think it helps that they’re two girls. I like spending time with both of them sabay. So tatlo kami, it’s a girl thing.

    Bianca adds, “And so that way, they feel na I am mommy to both of them, not just one of them. It’s very difficult balancing the attention.

    Bianca says spending time with both girls at the same time, 'It's a girl thing', she says.
    PHOTO FROM INSTAGRAM /IAMSUPERBIANCA
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    But do Lucia and Carmen get along well?

    “Every day, best friend sila. Every day, best enemies din sila, Bianca says with a laugh. Sisters and mothers of daughters can easily relate to her description of her girls.

    When the two disagree, Bianca says talking to them to help them process their feelings and what they did is how she manages the situation.

    An example was right before she filmed her vlog, when the younger sister took something she didn’t want to give back to her Ate. Sounds familiar?

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    “What I find helpful is, pinapakinggan ko silang dalawa even if the other one is screaming, the other one is more quiet, parang to help them process it.

    On paper that might sound like a peaceful intervention with no tears and calm kids but Bianca doesn’t sugarcoat things: “magulo, may iyakan.

    “I think lang when I help them talk through it, I feel like–tayo di ba, when we go through something din, parang pino-proseso sa atin. Natutulungan tayo to understand.

    She warns, “Hindi laging nag-wo-work yung technique na ‘yun but I think ‘yung habit na ‘yun na ‘Bakit ako nagalit?’ ‘Bakit ko nagawa yun sa kapatid ko?’ I hope helps them when they grow older.

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    Nakukuha sa tingin

    So what happens when the technique doesn’t work? How do Bianca and JC discipline their kids?“

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    Hindi kami namamalo, hindi pa din kami nag-pu-punish, ‘yung mga ‘Stand in the corner’. Thankfully, thankfully, hindi pa kinakailangan.

    For the specific instance before she filmed her vlog, Bianca admits there were threats of taking away screen time which Lucia and Carmen are allowed to have on weekends since she shot over the weekend.

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    “When the time comes na kailangan mag-adjust, we are open to adjusting. Pero so far for our kids, nadadala sa sari, nadadala sa tingin, nadadala sa pag-raise ng voice. So yeah, that’s my parenting approach.

    Bianca has said in the past that between her and JC, she is the disciplinarian. Mostly because when the girls were born, JC couldn’t find it in his heart to get mad at his girls.

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    “So naturally and organically, ako yung naging disciplinarian. Ako ‘yung naging strict parent… ako yung nagagalit.

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    But Bianca balances it out, “I am very strict, but also very loving, caring, and malambing to my girls. Alam naman nila na Mommy loves them so much except that there are times that we have to put our foot down ‘pag dating sa mga ginagawa nila.

    The ‘Thank You God’ prayer

    Bianca says that the highlight of her days as a working mom is part of their bedtime routine. Every night, the Intals pray together before bed. First, they recite the ‘Angel of God’ prayer and then they say ‘Thank You God’ for anything they want to about that day.

    “It’s the highlight of my day because they are so thankful for the littlest things, about the things na hindi mo akalain.

    That sounds like “Thank you God for the sun,” “Thank you God for playtime with my sister.” And the ever-relatable “Thank you God for the yummy chicken” and “Thank you God for the yummy spaghetti.”

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    Bianca loves their “Thank You God” prayers because “a lot of times, they’re grateful for so many things that we take for granted because we see it, we have it every day.

    “It just puts life into perspective, no matter how hard the day is. She highly recommends adopting this routine–“I swear, it will also be the highlight of your day.”

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