“Bakit siya aalis? Bakit siya mag-sosolo? May kulang ba sa akin? May mali ba?”
TV host Amy Perez revealed asking these questions in her recent interview with comedian and entertainment reporter Ogie Diaz on the latter’s vlog. Uploaded last September 17 and entitled “Bakit naiyak si Amy Perez?,” the mother of 3 shared her thoughts on motherhood and separation with estranged husband Brix Ferraris.
Letting go of her first-born
Amy shared that she was emotional when her first-born, Adi, her son with Brix, asked to go off on his own, saying, “Nung nagpaalam siya na gusto niya nang mag-solo… May dagok iyun for me.”
She said that she also asked her mom and their pastor for help and insight. And her mom told her that she asked the same at that age, “Ikaw din naman nag-ask ng independence mo noong 21 ka. Parang pareho lang. So, bakit hindi mo iyun ibibigay sa anak mo?”
Amy’s emotions can be attributed perhaps to empty nest syndrome, which refers to the grief that parents feel when their children move out of home. It can afflict both parents but mothers seem to be more susceptible. Psychologists say that it can take around 18 months to two years for moms to adapt. Parents’ anxiety can be brought about by their worry if their kids can take on adult responsibilities or how they can establish a new kind of relationship with their adult children.
Comments and questions from fans on Amy’s social media posts looking for Adi also did not help, “Masakit iyun for me.”
“Naging struggle iyun para sa akin. Na deep inside, umiiyak ako… Bakit nga ba hindi?”
Amy then shared a bittersweet realization that most parents will soon realize and go through themselves, “Para silang [our children] mga saranggola na kailangan mong paliparin. Iyung ikaw lang nandun sa sinulit, ginaganon-ganon mo lang ng konti, pero actually gusto mo nang palayain.”
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWAmy also voiced out the one hope all parents have for their kids as they grow up, “At alam mo namang dadating iyung araw na you have to let go of them, kasi kailangan makita mo iyung mga tinuro mo sa kanila, iyung mga tinanim mo sa kanila, kung nandun pa din sa puso nila.”
Looking for himself
Amy thinks that Adi’s decision to process things on his own was partly motivated by his desire to “find himself” despite having a “missing piece” – that of his father, Brix Ferraris.
“So nung time na iyun, pandemic, I think that was also the reason why nagpaalam si Adi na gusto niya mag-solo is to maybe look and find himself.”
“Kaya niya naisip na hanapin ko sino ako, hanapin ko ang tatay ko, or do I belong to that new family of my mom? Kasi siyempre, mahirap din iyun para sa bata, diba?”
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch now“To be honest, wala talaga silang naging relationship because the last time nakita ni Adi iyung daddy niya, is I think, mga 3 or 4 years old siya.”
“Tapos, nag-paalam noon si Brix na mag-Timezone sila. Tinupad niya, nag-Timezone sila.”
“And I think during that time na nag-Timezone sila, pinangakuan niya ulit na babalik siya at mag-Timezone sila.”
“Na hindi naman na bumalik si Brix. Mula noon, wala na.”
Amy admits that there were times when she found it hard to be a single parent, “Parang kapag tinitignan mo iyung bata, ang unfair naman. Bakit ako naiwan mag-isa dun sa responsibility of taking good care of our son? Bakit ako lang? Siya, wala.”
Despite her hurt, she says that “Never akong nagsalita kay Adi ng masama tungkol sa ama niya.”
Amy recounts that she and Adi eventually coped on their own, “Nalampasan namin iyun.”
But she still had a hard time answering Adi’s questions, “Syempre si Adi, parang marami siyang tanong. Na hindi naman niya matanong sa akin. Kasi alam naman niyang hindi ko rin naman alam ang sagot. Saan ko rin naman pupulutin yung sagot?”
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWEventually, Amy met Carlo Castillo and married him with Adi’s permission. But Adi was still asking, “Nasaan ang tatay ko?”
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Buo tayong pamilya
Amy admits that she and Adi both tried to look for the former South Border vocalist.
“Nag-effort ba siya? I think, oo. Nag-effort siya on his own.”
“Kami, separately, hindi ko man sinasabi sa kanya na harapan, nag-effort ako hinanap ko. Siya din, nag-effort feeling ko.”
Until they eventually came to the conclusion: “Hindi natin siya mahanap.”
Amy reveals that someone told her that Brix is in America. But she doesn't know any details of his life there. But one thing she learned is, “Ayaw na niyang pag-usapan iyung tungkol sa anak niya kay Amy Perez.”
Amy did what any mom in her position will do:
“So, ako naman, parang, sige, okay na.”
“Pinapaliwanag ko lang kay Adi na walang kulang sa iyo, anak ha.”
“Buo tayo. Buo tayong pamilya.”
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