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  • In my work as a counselor, I have heard these common sentiments of kids who find themselves in a situation where teachers play favorites:
    •    “No matter what good we do, we still won’t be picked.”

    •    “Lagi naman siya!” (It’s always him who’s the favorite.)

    •    “How come it’s okay for the favorite (to do something), but not for us?”

    As for the favored child, their statements are:
    •    “I know I am really good, because teachers like me.”
    •    “My classmates are against me because they say I’m the teacher’s pet.”
    •    “It’s okay if I don’t finish (an assignment, project, etc), I know the teacher will let it pass.”

    These may seem petty for adults, but actually bothersome for children. If you find that your child is in a similar situation, listen, process and understand them. While it is flattering for a parent to have a child whom the teachers are fond of, it has its long-term disadvantages:
    •    The favored child may lose the chance to learn some important values like hard work, cooperating with others and playing fair, since these are simply handed to the child by the favoring adult.

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    •    The favorite has limited opportunities to experience challenges such as frustrations and loss as the child is often handpicked and given preference.

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    •    The child grows up feeling entitled to almost everything he wishes, because he has gotten used to it.

    Children who are raised to have their way in everything often turn out to be precocious adults.  They lack life skills, such as decision-making, relating with others, and resiliency in facing the realities of life. They are likely to think that their special skills and charm would get them an easier route to get what they want.  

     

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