Parents will always have good intentions for their kids, which is why they tend to shower their kids with a lot of love and affection and feel the need to protect them. While this is not necessarily a bad thing — it’s parental instinct, after all — it can quickly turn into overparenting without them knowing it.
Signs of overparenting
Overparenting, also called helicopter parenting, is being overprotective of our kids and pampering them by doing everything for them. In the long run, they will fail to learn the simplest tasks, which can hold them back from achieving their full potential.
How can you tell if you are overparenting? Watch out for the following signs.
1. You always say, ‘Anak ako na lang’
Do you take over chores or tasks even if your child is old enough to do it by themselves? It’s important that your little one learns to be responsible for themselves, so they can have more confidence and become independent.
So just let them make their own snack, their own bed, or help out during mealtimes by setting the table, even if they don’t do a good job at first and you end up finishing the job. This is an important life lesson that your child needs to learn.
2. You answer their homework for them
Yes, you want your children to get good grades, but it doesn’t mean correcting their homework especially when there are mistakes. This is all part of the learning process — understanding lessons and discovering how to do it themselves.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWIf you take over, they will miss the feeling of fulfillment they can get if they solve the problem on their own. They might also stop trying to do a good job since they know mommy or daddy will help them out in the end anyway.
3. You choose the clothes they’ll wear, put it on for them, and even tie their shoes
Dressing themselves and decision-making are two important life skills they can learn starting at toddlerhood. Yes, it’s tough waiting for them to put on their shirts, especially when you’re in a hurry, but you’ll be rewarded when they grow up if you extend your patience this time.
4. You don’t allow them to take risks and always ‘rescue’ them when they fall
Do you hover while they’re playing because you’re afraid they might trip? Do you stop them from pursuing an extracurricular activity because you think they might not do a good job? If the answer is yes, you might be stopping them from developing grit and a growth mindset.
A growth mindset sees everything as an opportunity. Failure is not the end; it is only the beginning. You can fail multiple times, but you get back up and try again until you succeed.
But if you coddle your child every time they fail, or overly praise them when they are successful, they might not be able to develop the emotional skills to deal with failure once it happens to them.
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch nowWe love our children, and we don’t want anything bad to happen to them, but there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back and letting them figure things out on their own. Instead of overparenting, think of it as “collaborative parenting” — this way your kids can become more confident, resilient, and capable — even when you’re not around.
Learn more about what moms and their kids can achieve when they #DoItTogether by watching the video below:
Help us spread the word on collaborative parenting! Smart Parenting has teamed up with Lady’s Choice for the #DoItTogether Movement that provides moms and kids with co-creation activities they can do together. These routines, chores crafts, and more develop self-sufficiency, positivity, adaptability, connection, and empathy in your child!
To do co-creation activities, visit bit.ly/lcdoittogether. For more collaborative parenting content, visit the hub: bit.ly/doittogetherhub
What's your parenting style? Find out which one works best with your personality here.
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