“Magkaiba kami ng culture, magkaiba kami ng upbringing ni Philmar, so expected ko na magkakaroon kami ng disagreements,” SmartParenting.com.ph’s May 2021 cover mom tells us.
After two kids together, however, Andi says their individual parenting styles actually complement each other’s. She tries to be an advocate of gentle parenting, while Philmar’s parenting is more instinctive and firm.
“He’s the firm one, I’m the gentle parent,” she shares. “Kung kailangan pagalitan o pagsabihan, pagsasabihan niya. Hindi siya nag-he-hesitate because for him, ‘yan ang hinihingi ng anak ko at this moment.’”
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Parenting is a continuous learning process for the couple, especially because their kids have very different personalities. Andi describes Ellie as “naturally obedient,” so she didn’t have a hard time becoming a gentle parent.
On the other hand, Lilo has a stronger personality compared to her older sister. Andi admits, “medyo nahirapan ako. She needs a sense of authority and if you don’t give her that, she’d really just be naughty,” the mom shares.
She has Philmar’s support when it comes to disciplining the kids. “Lagi niyang sinasabi, ‘You are allowed to be firm, you are allowed to tell her [that] she’s not allowed to do that’,” Andi says.
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At first, Andi thought Philmar’s ways were going against the gentle parenting strategies she reads in her books. But at the end of the day, parenting is not the same for every family.
“I’d rather learn from my partner who is as committed to being a parent to my kids as I am than the books that I read,” she says.
“I’m learning more about myself as a parent when I see the way he parents,” Andi adds.
Watch more of their Smart Parenting exclusive interview here!