'Mas Naging Close Kami Nung Naghiwalay Sila'–Bianca Gonzalez Shares Lessons On Parents Separation And Motherhood

“As time goes by, talagang you prove that you can do more and more. And I think kung alam lang iyun ng lahat ng babae, we can do so many great things. Minsan kasi may pressure na parang lahat kailangan ko gawin sa 20s, sa 30s, kailangan alam ko na iyung gusto kong gawin. But at least now alam ko na, hindi pala, pwede pala na 40s ka and you’re still figuring things out. Ako, I’m looking forward to my 50s, na ang dami ko pa sigurong pwedeng gawin na hindi ko lang alam pa sa ngayon. So never too late. You can still do anything that you want to do talaga.”

Television host and influencer Bianca Gonzalez has this answer to Korina Sanchez’s question on what she’ll tell moms who think “Oh parang tapos na ako, lumaki na bewang ko, with their children all grown up, is it really too late for them?”

In an enlightening interview, television host and influencer Bianca Gonzalez shared her valuable insights on self-worth, parenting, and life lessons. As she celebrated her 40th birthday, Bianca offered wisdom that resonates with women of all ages. Here are some key takeaways from her conversation with Korina Sanchez:

Parents' happiness matters

Bianca candidly discussed her parents' separation during her teenage years. Bianca admits that she felt relieved when it happened, saying “kasi i knew na mas masaya sila kung maghiwalay sila. Rather than stay together pero hindi sila masaya, nag-aaway sila palagi. I had that awareness.”

When Korina mentioned that “Mga magulang talaga, they stay together for their children and family.” Bianca disagreed, saying “Kasi hindi din healthy para sa mga anak. Together nga iyung magulang mo, pero everyday, sigaw naririnig nila. Maybe for some families, nag-wowork iyon, na they stay together for their children. Pero in our case, I feel like, mas naging close kaming lahat nung naghiwalay sila. Kasi sinong anak ba naman iyung ayaw makita na masaya iyung magulang mo, right? And nung naghiwalay sila, they can do their own thing. They own their time. So mas masaya din kami in turn, seeing them happy.”

Look for a person who listens to you and values you

When it comes to relationships, Bianca stressed the importance of being with someone who listens and values your opinions and needs. She admits that she also had her share of love mishaps herself and “mga ka-eng-engan.”

One major red flag she thinks women should watch out for is “Pag pakiramdam mong hindi ka pinapakinggan. Or hindi nakikinig sa mga kailangan mo.” She says that women should not make excuses for instances when men would easily dismiss what they say because he’s busy or forgetful. She shares, “Now, especially na ang asawa ko ay isang tao who I think values my opinion, kung ano iyung importante sa akin, doon ko na-realize na ‘aah, importante pala iyon.’ Na may boses ka sa relasyon at pinapakinggan ka. May tunay na pakialam sa pinagdadaanan mo.”

Motherhood is hard yet rewarding

When asked about her first year of motherhood, Bianca admits that, “Naloko ako ng Instagram. Kasi sa Instagram, lahat ng mga new moms you see, parang ‘Best thing that ever happened in my life.’ Or parang ‘Tingnan lang niya ako, nawawala pagod ko.'"

“Yet when you experience it, parang ‘ito ba iyun talaga?’ Wala kang ligo. Wala kang tulog. 5 pm na hindi ka pa kumakain. I can safely say hindi ko na-enjoy iyung newborn stage nung first year. I guess for some women, it comes naturally, iyung motherhood. Ako kasi, hindi. Hindi ako natural mom. Hirap na hirap ako noong first year na iyon.”

She further admits thinking, “Parang diba nag-aral naman ako, may career naman ako, bakit andito lang ako? Ito iyung ginagawa ko? Which is great for some women na iyun iyung dream nila, pero ako talaga, it was not.”

Despite the hardships, she says “I guess iba ibang stage. Kapag medyo mas malaki na sila, mas nakakapagsalita na, or nakakapag-embrace na, nakakapag-express ng love, doon na pumapasok iyun ‘Ay ang sarap maging mommy.’”

Women should know their self-worth

When asked about her advocacies and She Talks Asia, Bianca points out the importance of women’s self-worth. She shares, “Like kunyari relationship problems, career issues, parang ang nakita namin so far, with the stories shared with us, iyon iyung root cause. Na parang hindi ganon ka-strong iyung sense of self-worth kaya nangyari lahat ito.”

Watch the full interview here.

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