Is Wanting What's Best for Your Kids the Same as Spoiling Them?One mom shares her story of being accused of spoiling her child when all she wanted was to provide the best for him.CREATED WITH SIMILAC GAINSCHOOL
Once you become a parent, there are many things you probably didn’t expect about raising a kid. Being told that you’re “spoiling” your child — when all you’re trying to do is provide for him so he can thrive and excel in life — is probably one.
Mom of one Julie Ann Tagulinao, 33, says there are so many reasons why parenthood in these times is so tough, especially with unsolicited advice coming even from people on social media who don't know your day-to-day life.
Early on, Julie could already feel the pressure of taking care of her son, Julian Gabriel, now 4. As a single mom and a small-business owner, Julie had to make a lot of sacrifices to make sure she earns enough for her child. All she wants is to provide her child with the best of everything.
“Raising him was a big challenge,” Julie shares. She had to bottle-feed Julian at an earlier stage. “I had to man the stall (for my business) for 12 hours since I didn’t have a staff before. My patience was also tested because of the sleepless nights and [Julian’s] tantrums.”
These challenging moments, however, taught her the definition of unconditional love "that every mother was telling me about.”
Unconditional love and wanting what's best for her son fueled Julie to strive harder to provide and to protect him. But it also made her more lenient. She admits she tends to indulge her son.
"When I don’t agree with him eating sweets before meals, or when I don’t buy him something he sees at the toy store, nagagalit … Sometimes, dumadapa sa sahig ng store just to get what he wants, or [he] throws his toys sa house,” she says.
Just like most moms, Julie relies on important people in her family to help her raise her son, especially since she can't be with him every step of the way. In her case, Julian's grandparents and yaya are the ones looking after him.
“[He tends to be] very spoiled sa grandparents and yaya niya. Kaya when I discipline him, he knows whom to run to for help,” she shares.
Julie says she tries hard to keep her anger at bay when this happens. She sits down with Julian and shows him affection.
“Kapag ako lang kasama niya, I talk to him. I make sure he looks at me in the eyes," she says. "Very needy ang toddlers sa touch of their mothers, so ‘pag tantrums, nadadaan sa hug, karga, kiss, lambing. ‘Wag sabayan ‘yong galit ng bata.”
“Masasagad talaga ang patience mo, but the results are fulfilling, lalo na pag lumaki ‘yong child mo na malambing. [It is] very stress-relieving [to hear] your child say, ‘I love you,’ or for him to kiss you randomly,” she adds.
Julie also has found a new kind of appreciation for her own mother and the sacrifices she had to make for Julie.
“I understood then where my mom was coming from when she disciplined me before, or when sinasabi niya na mag-aral mabuti kasi pinaghihirapan kitain ‘yong pang-aral,” Julie relates. “Medyo na-take for granted ko kasi dati ‘yon. So when I had my own [child], it was an eye-opener for me. Naintindihan ko na lahat.”
If your kids are acting out, don't worry. Heed this piece of advice from Julie: “Habaan nang malala ang patience — like sagad! Sagad pa nung nag-aaway pa kayo ni boyfriend, haha! Kasi every day is a learning process for the child. You are the only one who can control how your child grows as a human.”
“If pinagtiyagaan mo talaga ‘yong tantrums niya, eventually mawawala ‘yon. Your life will be easier. And at the same time, he will become a better person. Mas magiging loving siya sa mga tao.”
As Julie's story shows, it takes great sacrifice to raise kids and it definitely isn't easy. Because even if you go about raising your children with the best intentions, you risk coddling them.
Rest assured, there's nothing wrong with wanting your children to have the best of everything, or being meticulous and particular when it comes to choosing the food and drink that help keep them smart and strong. This is your right as a mom.
Watch Bianca Gonzales-Intal, a celebrity mom and well-known TV personality, as she shares how excited she is to be part of the Million Moms of Similac GainSchool. Abbott Similac GainSchool is excited to be part of Bianca and JC’s journey in ensuring Lucia grows up to be a fast learner with stronger immunity.
Together with a balanced diet and an active lifestyle, Similac GainSchool, a growing-up milk drink, can help support the development of children above 3 years old. Abbott, makers of Similac GainSchool, is the first in the world to bring 2’-FL HMO — one of the biggest breakthrough innovations in child nutrition in the past decade. HMO (human milk oligosaccharide) is a unique immune-boosting ingredient that helps reduce infections by up to 66 percent.
Similac GainSchool also has the EyeQ Plus Nutrition System, which contains 10 key brain nutrients with NVE (natural vitamin E) that have been shown to help speed up brain connections, which is important for kids to learn fast.
Similac GainSchool aims to become a partner for moms who want their kids to grow up happy, strong, smart, and healthy.
Similac GainSchool is a growing-up milk drink for children 3 years old and above, and is not intended as a breastmilk substitute. To know more about Similac GainSchool, visit its official website.
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