‘Meron na Ako,’ How to Guide Your Daughter Through Her First Period

“Uh, no, I used tissue.” And right there, the teen in the last stages of puberty suddenly became my little girl again. It doesn’t matter that I’ve shown her how to use a napkin multiple times before, or that she has always had her hygiene kit (with extra underwear, pads, and wet wipes) in her bag for the last three years. At that moment, she was looking at me the same way she had looked at me for the last decade, a look that says, “How do I do this?”

So, as parents, how exactly do we do this? How do we guide and induct our tween daughters into dealing with monthly visits from Aunt Flo? Do we do it in the same way our parents once guided us, or is there a better way?

We asked parents in the Smart Parenting Village—a community made up of more than 100,000 Filipino parents about how they dealt or plan to deal with their daughter’s first menstrual period. And here are a few takeaways:

“Tumalon ka mula sa ilang baitang ng hagdan.”

“Ipunas mo yung undies with your first blood sa face mo.”

“Huwag ka maligo kapag meron ka.”

We have heard these bilins from our moms and grandparents when we were growing up, all meant to either limit our menstrual period to a few days (based on the number of steps you can jump), ensure clear skin, or prevent you from going crazy. While most of these beliefs do not have any scientific basis, some parents still see the value in passing these on to their daughters, without pressuring them to do it. “I will share it with my daughters but will never impose it… It’s part of where I came from, our culture. But never ko ipipilit na gawin nila,” one mom shared.

Other parents, however, have chosen to break away from these practices entirely: “No and never. According to doctors/professionals, unhygienic ito at walang katotohanan, dahil ang dumi dumi bakit need ilagay sa face,” another anonymous commenter wrote.

Several parents stressed the importance of replacing such beliefs with accurate and much-needed reproductive health education. “Use factual statements in explaining reproductive health, mas yun ang kailangan ng ating mga anak,” an anonymous commenter mused.

This means that parents can opt to explain what menstruation is, debunking harmful beliefs, and normalizing open discussions about menstruation and other bodily changes.

There’s no harm in teaching our daughters proper hygiene and self-care from a young age, because awareness and know-how can help them deal with the emotions and surprise that come with Aunt Flo’s first visit, even if they still might feel lost in that moment (just like my daughter).

In our case, I didn’t have Ming Lee’s (from Turning Red) box of napkins or other period items. Still, the minute she told me, I brought out my napkin packs—and launched into an explanation of their differences (lengths, wings, and whatnot) and a refresher how-to session. I then rushed her into our bathroom with another refresher course on how to wash her underwear, and why it’s a must to clean it herself during red days thereafter.

Other parents have the same idea. One parent wrote, “This year sinasanay ko na ang anak ko na mag-wash ng sariling undies niya. I also taught her how to wash her privates properly and how to keep herself clean in general.”

“What I taught her was how to keep herself clean, and ensure she knows how to change and wash her undies if ever matagusan siya,” another parent wrote. “Mas madami na tayong alam as parents kaya mas aware na tayo kung ano kailangan natin ituro at ipagawa sa kanila.”

A first period can be confusing and even scary, so moms also made it a point to be physically present to support and comfort them.

“When she told me na may first period na siya, literal na lumipad ako from office to bahay para lang i-assist siya at i-make sure na tama paglalagay niya ng napkin at walang masakit sa kanya,” one mom shared.

As mentioned earlier, my daughter has had a hygiene or period kit for the last few years, in anticipation of the day she gets her first menstrual period. It’s a pouch that contains everything she might need to deal with red days:

Period talk should not be a taboo topic and should not be limited to girls or women. Other siblings and their fathers should also be aware of it, so there’s no teasing or embarrassment. As one parent said, “Dapat hindi clueless yung father or kung may kapatid na lalaki. Hindi siya dapat tuksuhin or gagawing biro.”

For us, I also made sure to mention that my daughter got her first period on our next visit to our pediatrician, who also reminded and educated her about what to expect. Furthermore, we also asked for a prescription for pain medication she can take as needed for menstrual cramps.

Our daughter’s first period isn’t just a biological milestone—it’s a relationship milestone, too. It’s a chance to show her that no matter how much she grows, you’ll always be her safe place to ask questions, seek help, and find comfort. Whether you choose to honor certain traditions, stick strictly to science, or find a balance between both, what matters most is that she feels informed, supported, and respected.

Menstruation will be a monthly reality for years to come, but the way we guide our daughters through that very first one can set the tone for how they see their bodies, their health, and their confidence. So be present, be prepared, and remind her—just as my daughter reminded me that night—that even in life’s “grown-up” moments, she can still look to you and hear the same answer she’s always heard: I’m here, and we’ll figure this out together.