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  • How to Be the Best Parent According to Your Child's Personality

    You want to make sure you give the best version of yourself to your child according to his needs
    by Aimee Panlilio .
How to Be the Best Parent According to Your Child's Personality
PHOTO BY @DragonImages/iStock
  • According to Swiss developmental psychologist and genetic epistemologist Jean Piaget, children have different stages of development which includes language, morals, memory and reasoning. Each child has his own personality and responds to experiences differently. 

    Just like us adults, children may be outgoing, shy, or have even-tempered natures. Even siblings have different characteristics and ways of coping in different life situations, and this I know from being a mom to five children. The success of one can be a failure of another, and vice versa. Having this in mind, it would be easier for us parents (and their caregivers, in our absence), to understand, be in tune with each child’s unique personality, and know how to handle them in a positive and caring way that is congruent to his/her personality.

    As our children grow up, their different personalities will shine through. Understanding each personality helps us parents determine the kind of approach that is suitable in dealing with each one of them.

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    How to be the best parent to your child

    The fun-loving child

    The bubbly, bright, and social kid is always filled with tons of ideas. They are playful and are often the family clown. Sometimes having too much energy is seen as a fault since they don’t want to stay put. They often interrupt you to share their ideas. But if we as parents recognize their pizzazz as a gift rather than a flaw, we can help them develop and grow into creative, innovative and fulfilled adults. They tend to be very positive in their outlook. They are the ones that usually say, “I have a new idea and we can do it!”


    How to support the fun-loving child

    Praise and encourage. Praising their good ideas and encouraging them to share these with others can be one way of showing support, no matter how unusual these are. Praising and encouraging them is a must to show them that we are with them no matter what it takes.

    Show support. Fickle-minded? That’s okay. Support them when they start on something, and stick with them if they change their minds. They are trying to explore, trying to know what works for them, and what does not. Don’t get irritated. Give them the free hand to explore and test out their creativity and ideas.

    Have fun with them. Let out that child in you. Get down to their level, play and clown around with them. This is also one way of bonding with them.

    Appreciate their presence. Be grateful for the positive energy they bring to the family. In stressful and depressing situations, they can easily lift your spirits and bring back the lost equilibrium.

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    The sensitive child

    He’s the cool kid who has a naturally calm and easy-going personality. They are often called the “peacemaker” of the family. They don’t like conflict or being in the middle of chaos. They are usually the silent type and are often asked to speak louder or are told to hurry up. They tend to do things at a slower pace, in their own time. They will usually watch, observe, and then formulate a plan. They may be quiet, but you can never tell what is brewing up in their minds.

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    How to support the sensitive child

    Give assurance. Sensitive as they are, they need assurance. They need to feel safe and secure. Let them know you are there for them in any given situation.

    Keep them informed. Fill them in on the details. Make sure they are updated on what is going on around them. They need to be prepared with what to expect in any given situation.

    Be tranquil. Provide a peaceful place for them. The house can’t always be peaceful all the time, but make sure that you have a room where your sensitive child can find refuge in when things get out of hand.

    Respect their pace. Don’t push them to be more outgoing. They will try things at their own pace. Let them explore things on their own.

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    The determined child

    He is noticeably more physically active and very stubborn. Born with a drive to get things done, by hook or by crook, in their own specific way. Parents and caregivers should know how to calm them down because they can be so demanding. They are always after getting the results they want.

    How to support the determined child

    Avoid confrontation. Don’t go into a head-on situation with them. Try your best not to clash with their stubborn personality.

    Give them a free hand. Instead trying to conquer and dictate to them, try giving a determined child a bit more freedom to discover for herself. Insisting on what you want won’t help anyway.


    Be their number one fan. Cheer them on in their goals and accomplishments. Make them feel that their efforts are appreciated.

    Encourage. Give them encouragement to boost their confidence and passion. Make them feel that what is important to them is also important to you.

    Help their thought process. Be positive even in seemingly negative situations. Instead of interrogating, try saying: “I’m excited about it and I’m here to support you. But have you ever thought about…”

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    The serious child

    A serious child is the logical, independent, and focused one. People are usually amazed at how mature these kids are for their age. They are usually authoritative and seek perfection in what they do. They like to look into things, analyze them, and try to discover a way to make it better.

    How to support the serious child

    Speak to their mind. Relating with them mentally (than emotionally) is the best way to connect with this kind of personality. Understanding how they are thinking rather than how they are feeling is the key to getting along with them.

    Respect their opinion. Serious children yearn for adult respect. Let them know that you respect their thoughts and opinions. Listen to what they have to say. Agree on the things that you feel are right and find a way to disagree in a constructive way.

    Be logical. When communicating with a serious child, it is important to speak in logical terms that they will understand. Some kids may respond to phrases like “It would make me so happy if you cleaned your room,” but a serious kid will respond better if you say “I need you to clean your room because it may cause accidents. I might trip on something.”


    Get their input. Ask for their opinions and solutions often, as this makes them feel important. 

    Some children can exhibit these four types of personality traits on different occasions, but one will usually be more dominant. But, whatever their personality is, a parent’s love is one of the strongest forces that will help them be at their best, now until they’re grown.

    Overwhelmed with multiple kids (plus their varied personalities)? Cheer up! Here are 7 upsides to having more kids.

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