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  • Kailan Ipapakilala Ang Bagong Partner Sa Anak? Heart and Chiz Recount When She Met His Kids

    He differentiates introducing your partner as “just a person” or somebody you want a future with
    by Ronna Capili Bonifacio .
Kailan Ipapakilala Ang Bagong Partner Sa Anak? Heart and Chiz Recount When She Met His Kids
PHOTO BY INSTAGRAM /IAMHEARTE
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    Meeting your parent’s new love interest is anything but easy for a child. And for parents, it’s more complicated to figure out how and when is the best time for your child to meet your new partner than it is to answer your child’s math homework.

    Just look at the slew of movies that highlight this pain point in their storylines. Characters will often devise a plan to sabotage their parents’ love life and the solo parent is left to mend his or her relationship, not to mention discipline the kids.

    Thankfully it did not happen to Heart Evangelista and Sorsogon Gov. Chiz Escudero, who were married in 2015.

    When do you introduce your new partner to your kids? 

    In Heart’s latest vlog episode of Adulting with Chiz Episode 7, she asks him when should a parent introduce his or her new partner to the kids? And how did he do it with his twins?

    “When did you feel it was the right time to introduce your partner to your children?” Heart asks.

    Gov. Chiz clarifies: As a person? Or as your partner? He goes on to explain that those ideas are two separate things.

    RELATED: Heart Evangelista Is Closer Than Ever To Stepkids: 'We Are Like A Barkada'

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    “Things should flow naturally. Meaning, you can introduce the person you like, you’re seeing, as a person. Any time. 

    "Alangan naman pag dumating yung mga bata paaalisin mo [yung partner mo], pag dumating ka papaalisin [mo yang bata]… Hindi naman ganun,” says Gov. Chiz.

    Both Heart and Gov. Chiz agree that when introducing your new partner to your kids, both have to be on the same page about the relationship and the introduction.

    "I think you have to be sure,” says Heart. Gov. Chiz explains that introducing your new partner to your kids is “a different story.” He says, “You have to be roughly sure and headed in that direction.”

    How did Chiz and Heart do it?

    “It took about one month,” Heart says jokingly.

    “I introduced you as a friend, as a person. We were putting them to sleep, reading books to them until they fell asleep,” Gov. Chiz recounts.

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    His kids are teenagers now but were still young kids when Heart and Gov. Chiz began dating.

    RELATED: Heart Evangelista Doubted If She Could Take Care Of Chiz's Twins

    “In my case nagsabi ako sa mga bata, remember that? And then they were super supportive.

    Heart explains that ever since they were in a relationship, Gov. Chiz’s twins already knew they were together. At least a year or two before they tied the knot.

    “But before I proposed to you, that was when I talked to them,” Gov. Chiz says.

    Tips for introducing your partner to your kids

    If you’re in a similar situation as Gov. Chiz and Heart, here are a few things to think about.

    1. Wait until your kids are ready.

    Ann Gold Buscho, PhD, and author of The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce says “Research tells us that waiting until they are ready improves the chances of your new relationship’s success. If your kids aren’t ready, they may sabotage the relationship or reject the new partner (or you).” 

    Maybe those Hollywood movies were on to something.

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    You may be excited or certain that your child will love your new partner just as much as you do which is normal. But ensuring that kids are ready before making that step is always beneficial to the child. And the adults can and should wait.

    2. Make sure the relationship is strong and solid.

    Buscho advises waiting for the relationship to be at least nine to 12 months old, because most relationships end before then. 

    It may mean you and your partner have to be even more patient, but remind yourselves that the children’s needs come first.

    A new partner needs to understand that the child will be the parent’s highest priority. And it is the parent’s job to make sure his or her child knows and feels that.

    Here is the reason why it’s wise not to rush into introducing new partners: “Exposing your kids to a new love early on means your children risk experiencing one loss after another.

    She adds, “Over time, the losses can affect your children’s future mental health and wellbeing, success in relationships, and your relationship with them.

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